Chapter Five: I'll Take Responsibility

I break the cuff on her wrist and ankle, my anger resurfacing now that she is going to be alright.

I yearn so badly to avenge her suffering. I want her to know that I would fight the devil to keep her safe. 

But… would she even realize the gravity of it all? She doesnt know our ways. These primal feelings might scare her. Perhaps I should shield her from the deepness of it. She is too fragile as it is.

I carry her in my arms and walk out the door.

“Where is her fucking room?!” I bark angrily into the pack house. I will take her away if they cannot even help with something so puny.

Out of nowhere, the Luna comes out to scurry ahead of me pointing ahead of her and saying “this way”

I lay her down on her bed and before I demanded it, Chase stood with warm water and a towel. I cleaned her thoroughly before I gave the towel back. He took it and left us alone.

I checked her wardrobe and the clothes there are few. It's so openly clear that no one ever took care of her in any way. So I took out an old summer dress and came back to her side. 

I sat beside her on the bed and tried not to think of her intoxicating scent, or the invisible forces drawing me to her as if she were everything I would ever need. 

The fact that she almost died makes the reminder chilling on its own.

I want to hold her so badly. Just hold her to my chest and feel her heartbeat over mine. 

Perhaps mine would slow. I could soothe myself with the knowledge that she is alive and well. That she was going to wake up.

It is harder than I thought, removing the dress without thinking too much. I just knew that this was going to be a war.

How could I resist her if I cannot even fight the irresistible bond when she was lying unconscious? When she did not even look at me once with her sad eyes? When I don't know what it means to see her smile and watch her be herself? 

She is perfect for me in every form. I would love everything about her. 

Yet…none of that yet and I am fighting madly to let it go!

I guess thinking of her frail form helped. Well, until the scars came into view. Small scars riddle her body scarcely longer than a needle. All of them.

I was losing my mind. My hands shook. So, I quickly put the dress over her and I held her hand for long moments to push back the feeling of desperation to just call Alpha Knight out and get things over with.

I held her hand for a very long time before Chase walked in. I am still breathing hard, the growls in my chest intensifying, lowering and intensifying again. I wish I could keep calm just by holding her hand. But it's hard.

Everyone else failed her. I can't join the queue.

“Alpha, you need to calm down. Your eyes are red” Chase sounds anxious.

I did not care about the implication of his words. If I dont let out steam, I would end up killing someone in this fucking house!

The last thing I need is a pack war. And although my pack is always ready to defend against anyone, I wouldn't wish to exhaust any resource for nothing. 

Defending Neerah is a given. But protecting my pack is also a huge responsibility.

“get me a change of clothes. I am going for a run!” I command. And before he said a word, I went by the window of her room, glad it is big and only needs to be unlatched to open freely.

I jumped over, letting my wolf take over midair before I landed on my paws. I ran for the forest at full speed, letting my emotions ride the wind. Hopefully, far away from me.

It is not my territory but the Alpha mind links with his pack members. I am sure he knows exactly what to do.

I was still feeling a lot tense when I returned.

“She woke up. She wasn't quite coherent. She went back to sleep” Chase explains.

I stare at Chase, silently waiting to hear him tell me exactly what I want to hear.

“The Alpha hasn't said anything. You scared him with your red eyes” he explains with a shadow of a smile.

“But there are people downstairs crying out for justice. But I think his main concern is the deal with Alpha Beret. He is going to lose the pack if he couldn't hold up his end of the bargain” he informs.

“Ask Gates to draw up another contract. I’ll take responsibility” I give a command. 

Chase nods once and leaves. 

I paced around the room, running my hand through my hair for so long, just thinking of what to do next.

The thought of rejecting the mating bond is too cruel to the both of us. It's not just her. I don't want to be too deeply entwined with anybody else. 

My sister was my eternal champion. But she died and left me with a deep hole in my chest. And then Raya was killed. I am still struggling with their deaths till date. What if I embrace Neerah and something ends up happening to her as well? I can't bear the thought. 

The solution is to let her go before any feelings of attachment complicates the process. 

But that would be just evil. She has gone through enough. Clearly, fate has left me no choice but to accept our bond. I don't know why she hasn't turned but…

I hope that it is only temporary. 

The entire situation is dark. Like, she had gone through enough already when her mother died. But to think that her father is worse…

Could she fight this? Would she want to? 

When Chase returned, I checked the contract and nodded with satisfaction. 

“Keep it away first. I want to know if she would be okay with it” I told him.

That was when she woke up. Chase makes eye motions to alert me about it. 

I wasn't expecting to see the clarity in her eyes when she stared back at me. 

She has the most intensely savage ice blue stare in the history of blues. 

My heart literally skipped a beat.

I don't know exactly what I expected. But I never would have guessed that she would be able to hide her grief so superbly. 

This must be what a veteran looks like. 

A veteran grief handler. 

Fucking hell!