Chapter Nine

Vekra

"Ma, how were you poisoned?" I ask my mother.

She has not fully recovered yet and she even had to be carried from our old pack to the refugee camp where my pack and I are lying low.

She still looks horrible. The glow has gone from her cheeks and her eyes are dim where they once shone with brilliance from being near her mate but I cannot prolong this conversation any longer. I need information, and fast. My pack cannot stay in this refuge forever and all of our assets have been frozen.

"Vekra dear, you should get some rest." Ma says. "You have not even sat in one place long enough to get some shut-eye all this while."

I know her words are coming from a place of concern but they are not the words I want to hear. I pull at my hair in a frustrated growl.

"Ma, I don't have the luxury to relax. They are accusing Pa of murdering the Ultimate Alpha in disgrace. Our pack has been outlawed. We were supposed to protect the pack, not curse them. I cannot relax until I have made it right so please Ma, give me some information." I say, dropping to the bed beside her.

Her face gets tight and she looks down at her hands. I take them into mine, bringing her attention back to me.

"Please Ma, you must tell me everything you remember." I say, needing her to understand where I am coming from.

She finally meets my eyes.

"Venita, you cannot understand yet. Your father is still alive now, but... anything I say now can mean his death. I can't." She says, her voice breaking.

And then my mother who has always been the one to console me breaks down in tears.

I gather her into my chest immediately.

"I understand." I say into her hair, feeling a horrible displacement. I am usually the one being comforted. This change of roles feels horribly wrong.

But I do understand her.

She does know something that could help me but to say it would endanger her mate. She might be Luna of the pack but everyone knows that the mate bond is on another level entirely. Wolves are capable of tearing the world apart for their mates. She has made the choice to protect her mate in the best way she knows how.

"I understand." I say again.

It would be impossible to get her to speak, not when Father could die.

When I leave my mother's tent, I step out into misery.

All injuries that were sustained have already healed thanks to our werewolf immortality but each person bears identical expressions on their faces that are like arrows shot straight into my heart. Each face bears the hopelessness of being condemned by our own kind.

I cannot take another step further. I can only look from one face to the other, buried alive under my guilt with each passing second.

My father, and in extension I caused this.

These people have done nothing wrong other than be loyal to my father and they have been outlawed for it. No more can they have legitimate wolf children, nor can we ever form a new pack with solid hierarchy. Eventually, we will be unable to stick together and we will disintegrate. My people will scatter into the woods and they will be easy prey for other creatures and the Folk.

I suddenly feel a wave of reassuring energy invade my tumultuous mind. My gamma can feel my distress and he is immediately trying to soothe me from wherever he is in the pack. But I don't want to be soothed.

I turn in the opposite direction from my gamma, my mother and my pack and start running.

Beneath the guilt is the anger. Father could have discussed this with me before making such a rash and stupid decision. Killing the ultimate alpha? He is incredibly lucky that the werewolf community is not demanding Ma's head. The Ultimate Alpha's mate is currently out on some business but she has no doubt felt her mate's death. If she survives it with her senses intact, she will be back and she will want retribution. She will want to punish every single person involved. Time is ticking on me.

The tree canopies seem more vivid today, or perhaps it is simply because my emotions are so unstable.

I run and run and run, like the very demons of hell are snapping at my heels. Tree roots cut into my legs in different places and I hear a rip as a particularly sharp branch tears into my leather pants and gets to my skin. I don't mind the burn, I relish it, I need it.

Forest animals scurry to move out of my way.

Tree nymphs startle and yelp and they dive back into their trees, melding with them and watching me pass passively.

The running feels good. It has always been the best way to clear my head with immediate effect. The burning ball of guilt and frustration and pain finally release its hold on me a little.

I stop and put my hands on my knees, panting lightly.

It wasn't my emotions. It is night and yet the forest does look more vivid than it ever has. I straighten and with one sweeping glance, I take in some insects perching on flat leaves, the droplets of dew on the surface of others, curious tree creatures scenting the air. I am taking in too much information at once, my head is swimming with it.

And then I feel a sharp pain in my middle and I gasp and double over.

I breathe through the pain, my mind racing. I have never felt anything like it.

Immediately, my mind goes to my mother that was poisoned only a day ago and I wonder if it is my turn. if I will die here in this forest with everyone from my pack none the the wiser.

I start to straighten and stand when the pain comes again, sharper this time like someone stabbed my gut with a hot dagger.

I fall to my knees and throw up.

My stomach is ripping itself inside out.

Home, I must get home.

The forest is no longer my haven.

Grabbing a tree trunk, I scrabble to my feet and with my nails digging in, I push myself to go back the way I came from.

Home. I need to get home.

I take only five steps before it feels like my stomach is stabbed open and is being turned inside out.

I fall to my hands and my knees on the forest floor and raising my face to the sky, I scream to the stars.

Around me, unseen by me, predators re-orient themselves to my scream, and then they begin hunting.