Three

Alpha Asher’s POV

“What’s your name?” I asked in a soft voice, and her eyes darted all over the place as if she was looking for an escape route. I don’t want my mate to stare at me like she was scared of me; I don’t want my mate to be scared of me. I want her to love me and me to love her back in return. This wasn’t what I planned at all. I have been trying to get her to talk for the past ten minutes, but she wasn’t budging. I don’t know how to do this, but for her, I wanted to put in every possible effort. This was the person I’ve been waiting for all my life and I wasn’t going to let things get messed up.

I kind of understand considering that she woke up from a terrible nightmare hours ago and she has been too scared to even blink talk-less of sleeping. I watched her close her eyes for a bit before snapping them open again. After she had her bath, I had Edna, my Zeta get a few clothes for her till she was ready to shop for herself.  I wished she didn’t go through all of these before she met me, I wish I left my region more often. Maybe we would have met and I would have saved her from whatever was tormenting her even in the dreams. I watched her go through her last nightmare and I really felt helpless.

“Okay, Let’s do this. My name is Asher. What’s yours?” I asked with a whisper and she finally raised her eyes to look at me. At last, I was making progress, her eyes were fixed on her hand as if it was the most interesting thing in the room all day. I was close to giving up but her looking at me definitely means I was making good progress.

“Maya, my name is Maya. The nuns from the monastery said it means a good soul.” She whispered back and I tested the name on my lips. I loved the way it sounded and pronouncing it brought a smile to her face. This was real progress. I didn’t know what to ask next, I was selecting my questions carefully so I don’t trigger her into silence. It took a whole lot of effort after she woke up to get her to talk.

I picked her hand from the bed and I watched her jolt back in shock, she could feel it too, she could feel the mate bond too. I was glad that I’m not the only person feeling this way, explaining it to her would be easier this way. I wondered if she ever knew what a mate was or how the bond worked.

“We are mated. Wow, I don’t want a mate. I want to walk around the whole world free from everyone.” She added a few minutes later and my whole body dropped in disappointment. She was giving up on us before we even had a chance to explore our mate bond. I feared this would happen that was why I wanted to take my time and explain things to her. Unfortunately, someone already messed up an idea of how mate should be for her and now have to beat a soiled record.

“Maya, you’re really going to reject me before you get to know me?’ I asked and she nodded almost immediately. I don’t know which was more disappointing, the fact that she didn’t want  me, the fact that she made her decision quickly and as fast as possible, or the fact that she seemed so sure that rejecting was the best option for her. She wasn’t even giving me an opportunity to prove that our mate bond was going to be the best thing that happened to us both.

“Maya, do you know the moon goddess paired us for a reason, she makes the best decision. She knows we would be perfect for each other, that’s why.” I added softly and I wished I didn’t because Maya started throwing things and screaming at me to get out. It happened too fast, one minute she was being calm with me, and the next she was acting enraged. I should have known that most people from the monastery rarely like the moon goddess, same with Daniel too.

“You sit there and tell me crap about the moon goddess and what she wants. I don’t fucking care about whatever she wants and I do not want you as a mate. She fucking sat on her throne like a princess and watched them fucked my life up and leave my body as a museum of scars. She watched while my parents dumped me in hell, she fucking watched when everyone in the monastery got tossed out and we were turned to omegas. We were treated as slaves and we saw hell, now I took an action by myself and you’re telling me crap about a stupid goddess who couldn’t even save Alpha Liam. Don’t feed me the crap. I don’t need the goddess and I for one, don’t care about her at all. Don’t blame you, you probably grew up with a silver spoon and you don’t know what life as an omega entails. It’s easier for you to say stuff about how a goddess makes the best decision. Maybe my parents dumping me was a great decision she helped them make too. In fact, I’m getting out of here and this pack. I fucking want to see the Alpha and he should let me go. I’d rather die as a rogue than spend the rest of my life with y0u” She screamed in my face and for the first time, I felt like a failure. All of these could have been prevented if I had gone in search of her instead of waiting for her to come to me.

I don’t what broke my heart more, the fact that she had to go through all of these alone. I felt for her I wish I could take away all of her hurt. I couldn’t and I hated the fact that she canceled me without getting to know me. She didn’t stop throwing things at me and I stepped out for a moment. This was beyond my control already. I told the nurse on duty to sedate her till she was calm again and we would have another decent conversation. I walked back to the pack office feeling dejected, I couldn’t get the fact that my mate didn’t want me and she probably won’t want me out of my head. It hurts too much to even think of it. I wanted to be there for her every step but she wasn’t letting me. Daniel walked past me to go on patrol duties before he squeezed my shoulder in reassurance, this was way more than we thought.

I came back later to watch her sleep, I wished it was this easy for all of us. In less than twenty-four hours, she has made a dent in my life already. She had a nightmare earlier and watching the CCTV footage of how she pleaded for a certain Alpha not to kill her shredded me into pieces. She didn’t deserve any of this, no human deserves to go through things like this but this life was unfair to everyone. I wanted to hold her in her sleep and watch her take each breath like they were precious but I was scared of her reaction. I didn’t want to scare her off, I wanted to take things slowly with her. We are going to be together forever and there’s no need to rush things.

She tossed around and when she finally opened her eyes, my breath hitched. I was supposed to go out of there so I don’t trigger another of her episodes but I couldn’t bring myself to walk out. I wanted to be there for her during every stage. She wasn’t letting me do this for her, she wasn’t allowing me to be there for her. It hurts more than anything else and I don’t know what to do. I hated my helplessness more than I hated the fact that I could only stare at my mate after years of waiting for her.

I took the seat close to the bed and I watched her shift uncomfortably, I didn’t like the feeling one bit. I was going to do this with her slowly and I really hoped it worked out. I tried to take her hand and this time she didn’t flinch away from me. She stared at me emotionless, as if she couldn’t care what else would happen. When I touched her, she didn’t react like she did the first time and my heart clenched. I proceeded without getting discouraged. Not even this neutral facade would stop me from being with my mate.

__________

We already established the fact that I was the Alpha here and she wasn’t going anywhere until she understood we were mated and we would be forever. The way she stared emotionless scared the crap out of me, almost like I was dealing with a robot. I didn’t want this for her or myself, every of her acts hurt me deeper than I wanted. Never for once have I thought we would reduce to this. I didn’t know a single action of a person would turn me into a dunce. I hated this feeling of being powerless.

“You have to be present for Luna training every morning after breakfast…” Edna was speaking and Maya stood up before walking out of her sitting area and she proceed to walk towards the door. She has been acting aloof since we told her everything and everyone was hanging barely on a thin thread.

“Don’t you dare walk out on me this instant? What the hell is wrong with you? Do you think you’re the only one affected by all of this? Stop acting like a coward and get your life together.” Edna screamed and I recoiled at the way she sounded. No one deserved to be shouted at like that but Maya had been getting on everyone’s nerves. I low-key waited for Maya’s reaction because one minute, you could tell what she would do and the next moment, she was practically unpredictable.

“How about you lead the way by getting some damn manners bitch. Don’t fucking yell at me” She replied before she walked out of the building, Edna stood up in a flash and I placed my hand over hers. She didn’t need to go after her or do anything to her. Maya was still healing and we all knew that. It was a huge change in her life and she wasn’t taking it the right way. Maybe we needed to try another routine without her getting jumbled up.

“What if Y’all are actually doing it the wrong way. This lady is new to all of these, she has known nothing but pains all her life. She lashed out at you because you thought she would be comfortable with that emotional manipulation of the goddess knew what she was doing. Guess what? Not everyone is a fan of the goddess and a bonus point is that she grew up in a monastery and those nuns rarely believed in the goddess. I was raised in a monastery too. Let her breathe and take things to step by step and You’d see how much of a great result it will yield,” Daniel said and Edna turned to look at him sharply. She looked like she wanted to rip him to shreds with her claws and the only thing he did was shrug his shoulders. Daniel wasn’t scared of anyone.

“How do I take things slowly when she’s not even giving me a chance to be with her?” I found myself asking and Daniel clicked his tongue again, he was about to give me an earful when he finishes. I know that too well. Teacher Daniel mode activated.

“Be her friend first, pretend as if you’re not mates at all. Act as if you don’t know you are going to spend the rest of your lives together and try to get to know her properly. Allow her to trust you and let her feel the mate bond without pressure from you or anyone. If possible suspend the Luna lessons and watch her slowly warm up to you. Tell her random things you don’t tell anyone and You’d see her trusting you gradually.” Daniel replied and I was elated, everything he listed sounded easy but it was going to take a lot of time. If pretending as if we weren’t mated would make her trust me then I’m willing to try it out.