RayneI keep going down the stairs after I'm sure the Alpha—Max—has disappeared. I didn't mean to come across him but I'm relieved that I got the chance to apologize for tonight. I can't believe that Denise did that to me. She lied me on purpose just because she has it in her head that the two of us need to be close together at all times. She can't seem to understand that he wants nothing to do with me and that he can't wait for the bond between us to be starved so he can be with Alaska. It's the reason why we argued today. It was out first argument and I had a hard time containing my anger. I asked her to stop and leave me alone. Although she meant well, she was only embarrassing me. She argued back saying that I needed to be less passive and fight for what I really wanted. I asked her if she was only saying that because I had the title of 'Luna' and that maybe, just maybe, she was hoping she could get something out of it. This seemed to offend her and she left the room wordlessl
RayneMax and I stare at each other for some time, an understanding of some kind passing between the two of us. I'm the first to look away. Albert is giving a guard an order about having someone clean up the mess I made and thankfully didn't see the way our eyes locked just now. I don't know how to feel concerning this; it makes sense that he felt the scalding tea burning my chest. I've been feeling all his emotions. I wonder if he ever felt some of mine. What does this even mean?"I can't apologize enough for this," Albert says. He genuinely sounds and looks apologetic. "Are you sure you don't have to see a nurse?""I'm sure," I tell him. "I'm fine. I promise." The burning has passed yet the skin remains bright red. I have no doubt that this too will pass and I'll be as good as new. Besides, I have more important things to concern myself with. "I hope the noise didn't disturb you, Max," he says, turning to his friend. "I didn't see Rayne here coming."Max offers him a tight-lippe
Max I all but barricade myself in my room, eager to be away from the servant girl and everyone else. I can't explain what happened in that room. My instincts and feelings got the best of me and I momentarily lost sense of who I was. I wasn't well acquainted with the version of myself that kissed her. I don't know what I was thinking. Rage is building in my core. The worst of it is that I only have myself to blame for what happened. I was the one who lost control. I gave in to the voice in my head that told me to get closer to her. I should have ignored the feeling and left, but I was tempted. Now, I don't know what to do with myself. I'm enraged that I've made such a careless mistake. The worst part is how I feel right before it; like kissing her was essential. Like I'd die if I didn't claim her. The wretched bond for the best of me. Generally speaking, I know of the effects of a bond but everything about this is surreal. It doesn't happen. Bonds aren't meant to be this intense.
RayneI can’t say that things have gotten any better. With Denise gone, I’m totally lost. I’ve been informed by a maid that I’ll be moving to the new room in a day. So, tomorrow. Tomorrow I’ll say goodbye to this room and move to the lower quarters of the House. I can’t say I’ll miss this room especially. It’s beautiful, there’s no denying it, but I’m just grateful for having a room to myself. Any room, be it luxurious or normal. Privacy is something I never had. I always shared a room. The only thing I didn’t share were clothes. I haven’t left the room for fear of coming across Max. I can’t get what happened out of my head. It was so random and…strange. I can’t seem to stop thinking about him and how much I wanted him to touch me. It makes my cheeks grow hot with shame. I never thought I’d want him to touch me. I never looked at him that way before. I didn’t know what desire was until he kissed me. I try to search in deep inside me for an answer on how he feels. I want to know wh
Rayne I wake up in the morning with an odd feeling in my gut. It’s the day I’ll have to move from this bedroom, which means that Alaska will be coming soon. I shouldn’t feel this down thinking about it but it’s not something I can control. I can lie to myself, but I can’t control the way I feel about this. Without Denise, things are much harder. At least I had someone to talk to before. Now, things have changed. I have no one to talk to and I’m alone most of the time. I know Veronica extended her help but this issue is what’s bugging me most, and I can’t tell her about her brother. I can’t. I don’t know if she suspects something but I won’t be the one to tell her. Her brother can tell her if he wants. I have breakfast and then pace my bedroom floor. I’m anxious. My things will be moved later on in the day so for now, I have nothing to do and I don’t feel like staying in here and thinking about what happened. It’s all making me sick with anxiety and never-ending guilt and shame.
Rayne I’m sitting before Max while he paces the floor in front of me. I keep my eyes on my lap and my hands by my sides. I try not to portray any emotion. He asks again, “So he wanted you to go with him? Where? Why?”“I don’t know,” I lie. There is no way I’m going to tell him that he said Denise sent him and that the reason why he wants to take me out of here is because I’ll be killed when the bond starves. Frankly, I don’t know if I can believe this. Or even if I do. It could be that he lied to me in order to get me to follow him. Denise would have told me if Max planned to kill me.She wouldn’t have waited to then send a messenger. Still, there are many questions that are unanswered, and if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t completely labeled everything he said as a lie. Why should I doubt that I won’t be killed? It’s not a notion that can be easily discarded. “This is absurd,” he says, mostly to himself. He’s in a black mood, and I feel it all over me, suffocating me.
MaxI rub my temples as I listen to one of the Gammas tell me that the man who tried to hurt Rayne managed to get away. Tyler looks at me apologetically when I shoot him a look. "I'm sorry, Alpha," he says, and he genuinely looks sorry. "We've looked everywhere for him. We couldn't find a trace of him. But it is my m belief that he's no longer in the House. He can't be here. We would have detected him.""And how did he get out?" I ask. "How did he even get in?"He and James exchange a glance, which only makes me more upset. They don't know. If they did, I would have had a full and detailed report by now. All I hear are excuses and guesses. No concrete answers. "Do you understand the severity of what happened here today? Do you?""We'll find answers," Tyler says. "We'll get more information for you. We won't stop looking until we find out what happened.""You better," I warn them. "If something like this ever happens again, I'll have your heads on spikes right outside these gates as
RayneI close the window once the air gets a little too crisp and move closer to my bed.I lie down, exhaustion creeping deep into my bones. I’m tired of thinking and always wondering what happens next. I wish I had answers. I wish I didn’t have to be this afraid. I think back to the man I spoke to this afternoon. Should I believe everything he said? The day after the mating ceremony, Denise told me that the GrayLeaf pack wanted revenge for what happened. What if that man lied to me and used Denise’s name to lure me out? Albert wasn’t mean to me but that didn’t mean it wasn’t all a strategy to get me to relax and believe that everything was fine. Too much power was involved. Some people lost many opportunities because of me. Why shouldn’t they be angry?I had to be alert for everything and anything. The Alpha said I was forbidden from going to the garden and it upset me, but maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. What if he had taken me? What if there were more of them? I wouldn’t be able