Rayne I wake up in the morning with an odd feeling in my gut. It’s the day I’ll have to move from this bedroom, which means that Alaska will be coming soon. I shouldn’t feel this down thinking about it but it’s not something I can control. I can lie to myself, but I can’t control the way I feel about this. Without Denise, things are much harder. At least I had someone to talk to before. Now, things have changed. I have no one to talk to and I’m alone most of the time. I know Veronica extended her help but this issue is what’s bugging me most, and I can’t tell her about her brother. I can’t. I don’t know if she suspects something but I won’t be the one to tell her. Her brother can tell her if he wants. I have breakfast and then pace my bedroom floor. I’m anxious. My things will be moved later on in the day so for now, I have nothing to do and I don’t feel like staying in here and thinking about what happened. It’s all making me sick with anxiety and never-ending guilt and shame.
Rayne I’m sitting before Max while he paces the floor in front of me. I keep my eyes on my lap and my hands by my sides. I try not to portray any emotion. He asks again, “So he wanted you to go with him? Where? Why?”“I don’t know,” I lie. There is no way I’m going to tell him that he said Denise sent him and that the reason why he wants to take me out of here is because I’ll be killed when the bond starves. Frankly, I don’t know if I can believe this. Or even if I do. It could be that he lied to me in order to get me to follow him. Denise would have told me if Max planned to kill me.She wouldn’t have waited to then send a messenger. Still, there are many questions that are unanswered, and if I’m being honest with myself, I haven’t completely labeled everything he said as a lie. Why should I doubt that I won’t be killed? It’s not a notion that can be easily discarded. “This is absurd,” he says, mostly to himself. He’s in a black mood, and I feel it all over me, suffocating me.
MaxI rub my temples as I listen to one of the Gammas tell me that the man who tried to hurt Rayne managed to get away. Tyler looks at me apologetically when I shoot him a look. "I'm sorry, Alpha," he says, and he genuinely looks sorry. "We've looked everywhere for him. We couldn't find a trace of him. But it is my m belief that he's no longer in the House. He can't be here. We would have detected him.""And how did he get out?" I ask. "How did he even get in?"He and James exchange a glance, which only makes me more upset. They don't know. If they did, I would have had a full and detailed report by now. All I hear are excuses and guesses. No concrete answers. "Do you understand the severity of what happened here today? Do you?""We'll find answers," Tyler says. "We'll get more information for you. We won't stop looking until we find out what happened.""You better," I warn them. "If something like this ever happens again, I'll have your heads on spikes right outside these gates as
RayneI close the window once the air gets a little too crisp and move closer to my bed.I lie down, exhaustion creeping deep into my bones. I’m tired of thinking and always wondering what happens next. I wish I had answers. I wish I didn’t have to be this afraid. I think back to the man I spoke to this afternoon. Should I believe everything he said? The day after the mating ceremony, Denise told me that the GrayLeaf pack wanted revenge for what happened. What if that man lied to me and used Denise’s name to lure me out? Albert wasn’t mean to me but that didn’t mean it wasn’t all a strategy to get me to relax and believe that everything was fine. Too much power was involved. Some people lost many opportunities because of me. Why shouldn’t they be angry?I had to be alert for everything and anything. The Alpha said I was forbidden from going to the garden and it upset me, but maybe it wasn’t such a bad thing. What if he had taken me? What if there were more of them? I wouldn’t be able
RayneI wake up with the sun in my eyes. I sit up immediately in alarm. I'm on the bed and not on the divan, and this causes my heart rate to accelerate significantly. I don't remember getting here.I look around. The room is empty. Max isn't here. It calms me down but I'm still searching my mind for a memory of rising from the divan at any point during the night and deciding to sleep on his bed. I didn't. I never would and no, I'm not a sleepwalker and never have been. Which could only mean one thing...The door opens, surprising me. Veronica walks in first, and she's accompanied by two maids. One of them is carrying a tray of breakfast. The other has a folded dress in her hand. I know that dress. It's mine. "Rayne," she says, tilting her head. "Darling."She walks up to me and hugs me. I hug her back awkwardly. It's hard to do so when I'm sitting and she's standing. She pulls away and says, "You've been so brave. So very brave. I can't believe what happened last night. Max told
MaxOne of the Gammas opens the dungeon gates for me and I make my way inside. I walk farther and ignore the call of the prisoners from the other cells. I came here for one purpose and one purpose only; I want to know what that man intended to do with Rayne. Who sent him? Where did he come from? If Denise is truly behind her, I’ll chase her down and throw her in here, which is something I should have done a long time ago. The guards have prepared everything for my arrival. The prisoner is waiting inside an empty cell that has been cleaned out except for two chairs, one that the prisoner is occupying and the other that is for me. He looks at me with hard eyes as I approach, with hatred in his eyes. I meet his gaze steadily and sit down. He’s bound to the chair but he isn’t gagged. This is why he moves forward and spits at my feet.“Bastard,” he says venomously. “You and your father are bastards and cowards! Cowards! You should be dead for what you did to us!”I tilt my head slightly
RayneI'm yawning by the time I'm escorted back to my room. My guard—Herbert—is right behind me. His demeanor toward me has changed completely and I can’t quite understand what has caused this massive change. During our earlier interactions, I had the feeling that he hated me. Now, he follows my every move, even when I have to go to the bathroom. He doesn’t look upset about it either. He nods at me whenever we make eye contact and I nod back. I prefer it this way. Being hated is…awful. He opens the door for me and I walk inside. It’s the same room I was in earlier. They fixed the window and they’re busy putting bars on them from the outside. I frown. This will completely alter my view of the garden. This isn’t at all what I wanted. But since I can’t complain, I say nothing. Besides, this is better than being in Max’s room. I don’t want that to happen ever again. Herbert checks the room to make sure there isn’t anyone hiding under the bed or in the closet and then nods at me and
RayneMax is still standing by the window. It's been quiet after he said I would believe it even if he told me, but honestly, this has made me more curious. What could she have done? I keep thinking and thinking and all that comes to mind are terrible things. Something that could make him hate her so intensely can only be bad. Unforgivable. But why then did he keep her working here? Why didn't he fire her as soon as he became Alpha? This is the part that makes no sense whatsoever. I don't know why I say it. Maybe it's because he's still in my room for some reason, which means he must have something to say. Or maybe it's because of the Moon's pull. Or maybe it's just the thrill of having him standing so close to me. I say, "I can keep a secret."A small and sad smile graces his lips. He turns to look at me and the expression on his face makes my heart skip a beat. He's a different person when he's in this kind of mood. The man who stormed into my room the day after the ceremony to s
Rayne Reaching MoonWater fills me with excitement and dread. The last time I was here, we were still in the middle of the war. It was Max’s idea for me to leave and go to Iron until things cooled down. I agreed because frankly, I was tired of the bloodshed. I felt I had nothing left to do but go away, and so that’s what I did. I haven’t been back since. Max and I have been communicating with each other but not as often. Our communication is mostly nonverbal. I can’t hear his words in my head or even send a message across; it’s more of a swapping of emotions. This has gotten stronger over the weeks, and now that I’m here, closer to him, I feel the bond’s strength. I exit the carriage and near the gate. I inform the guards of who I am but they don’t ask me to wait for them to call someone. They open the gates for me instantly. I walk through them, leaving the carriage behind. Everything looks as I remember, pre-war. This has to be a good sign. I continue walking until I reach the f
RayneThe war with GrayLeaf only ended with their Alpha’s death. It was Max himself who killed him. There was no way around it. He never believed it was Veronica’s doing, and when he found Albert dead, he assumed Max was the culprit. There were many casualties. My father lost men he trusted. AmberMane lost some of their own, the biggest loss being Victor. I have to admit that I thought they would hate and blame me for his death because I most certainly blamed myself, but nothing between us changed apart from the loss we now shared. I didn’t know Victor as well as I could’ve, but he’d been a friend to me, and he had helped me make myself stronger. I wish things had gone differently. I wish he didn’t have to die. Things took a long time to settle down after the war. GrayLeaf collapsed completely. The remaining members of their pack became rogues. I offered to help them but Max said it wasn’t the right choice to make. A lot of the people who remained were widows and children of the f
RayneI watch her slowly shift back to human form, hissing in pain. The arrow went straight through her shoulder. She tries to touch it but groans in pain when she touches it. I’m afraid that she’ll break it in half and slide it out but that doesn’t happen. I near her and nock another arrow. I point it straight at her face this time. “If you dare to move, I’ll shoot you.”Her eyes meet mine. Her lips are starting to get pale. “You’re going to hit me anyway, so why should I bother? You didn’t follow me all the way here to talk to me.”“You’re right, I didn’t,” I reply coldly. She shifts and cries out. I’m tempted to hit her again. Her pain is comforting to me. I want to tell her that now she knows how it feels, yet the pain she’s experiencing now can’t be compared to mine. That pain left scars that will never go away. Because of her selfishness, I’ve lost parts of myself that are irretrievable. “What are you waiting for, then?” she asks breathlessly as she tries to sit against the
Rayne Lambert changed plans halfway to GrayLeaf. He said he had a better idea. Rather than attack GrayLeaf and cause an unnecessarily high death toll, we could simply try to frame Veronica instead. He said he would speak to Albert and convince him to be in a certain place, at a certain time, where he would then confront Veronica. Naturally, this would still make him lose his place amongst his pack, but he said he never cared much for the pack anyway. He always wanted to be a rogue, where he could live life in his own terms and not have to follow strict rules all the time. I have to say that at some point, I wanted to be a rogue, too. I wanted nothing but freedom whenever I thought about my life. There are times when I forget I was even a slave, but there are others when it's all I can think about. I see myself on my knees in the middle of the grand hall, scrubbing until my fingers bleed. I'd wonder what it felt like to be free. Now that I know what it is, I realize that it comes
Max It doesn’t take long after Veronica leaves for someone to come for me. I don’t ask questions as they untie my hands and then tell me to walk. Humiliation burns inside of me but I keep it down and walk. I walk through the relatively empty dungeon all the way up the short stairs I used on my way down here. There are currently three guards behind me. Any thoughts of trying to run flee from my mind. It would be a reckless decision to make and would undoubtedly bring me more humiliation. The only thing assuring me that I won’t be killed today is Veronica’s alleged plan. She wants me to mate with her, after all, so how could she let them kill me? It all depends, of course. I try not to think too much about it as I walk outside. I take a deep breath of fresh air and instantly feel better. The air down there is stale. It felt like I was slowly being smothered to death. We’re walking toward the mansion. My guess is that there is going to be a discussion of some kind where I will once
MaxThe pain on my side has diminished considerably but the humiliation I feel is burning right through me and I can't overlook it. I'm locked in a dark cell. Thankfully, I'm alone, so nobody else has to see me being brought down to this level. So many things are going on all at once. I've been extracted from my pack, which is now vulnerable. GrayLeaf can attack at any time and we'll fall, just as they wanted it to. I don't understand for the life of me how Veronica can do this to our pack. Does she really want to see GrayLeaf winning? If so, why? And if not, then what's going through her head? I can't understand her. I realize that I never knew her at all. Helplessness plagues me. I'm here tied to a chair and unable to do a damned thing to stop her and her schemes. What's worse is that she could possibly get us all killed. Playing this game with GrayLeaf is dangerous. Does she even know what she's doing?I don’t know what to call this behavior of hers. Childishness isn’t a good
RayneThe plan we come up with is simple yet effective. I go with Iron and AmberMane to MoonWater and take over. As the Luna, it’s my right to do so. Word will spread to GrayLeaf, undoubtedly, but by then, we’ll be ready. Lambert thinks that we have to attack them first and we have to do it hard. We tell them that we only have two requests to end this war.The first request is that we want them to release Max. The second is we want Veronica. At that point, we’ll tell them everything they’ve done. Lambert will confess everything he did and they’ll probably exile him from the pack, but he says he doesn’t care about that. “Why?” my father asked him. “Why do you want to be exiled from your pack?”“I don’t have anything to do there,” was his answer. “I hate those bastards more than you do. If they hadn’t insisted on marrying her off to an Alpha, she would be alive by now.”I wanted to ask him where he would go but I figured it was too intrusive. It didn’t matter, anyway. What mattered wa
Rayne I look back at him. He’s running his fingers through his hair in despair. I’ve already pieced this together. I know why he’s here demanding this truth from me. Why he’s given me this letter to read. It makes perfect sense. The only reason why I’m not saying anything is because my own heart is shattering. I’ve doubted Max. I thought he was a scoundrel and now I have proof that he isn’t. Veronica did it all. The man gets on his knees, his back facing me. A few beats pass and then he says, “I loved her. You don’t understand how much I loved her. You can’t begin to imagine.”I lick my lips and say, “Sure I can. You literally sabotaged her mating day. You put me there just to prevent her from mating with Max.”He glares at me over his shoulder. I glare right back. I’m trying to keep an eye on him while sorting through the mess in my head simultaneously. It isn’t easy. I’m just thinking about Max and how Veronica ruined us. Tore us apart. I can’t take my attention from him entire
RayneI still haven’t decided if we’re going to go to war against GrayLeaf. I want to. I can’t say that I don’t. They’ve done enough to hurt me and I would be thinking solely of revenge if I chose to fight. The time I spent in that prison was something I’d only wish upon my worst enemy. I have lost too much because of them. I want to fight. I want to bring them to my knees. At the same time, I have no idea if it’s the right move. A leader has to think of everyone else, not just themselves. I would hate it if my father, Darla, or even Victor got hurt because of this thirst for revenge of mine. It’s not fair to them. Besides, fighting means we have to join arms with MoonWater, because otherwise we don’t stand a chance. Do I really want to get that close to Max?I’m going to have to be the one to talk to him, which is why my father said the choice is up to me. He’d probably do it if I asked, or insisted, but that’s a coward’s move. I have to be the one to do it, not him or anyone else