Chapter 6-AZALEA

I paced back and forth in my room, my mind a hurricane of thoughts. The decision has been made, but the weight of it pressed down on my chest like a stone. I glanced at the packed suitcase at the door, it's silent presence a reminder of the choice I could not longer take back. 

Tonight, I would tell my father. Tonight, I would leave the house that had been my refuge, my prison, my everything. 

The old clock in the hallway struck seven, the chime echoing through the house like a summons. My father would be in the living room now, settling into his worn chair with the evening paper. 

I took a deep breath, steeling myself and made my way downstairs. 

As I approached the living room, the familiar sight of my father brought a pang of guilt. My father sat with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose. His brows furrowed in concentration. The soft glow of the lamp highlighted the streaks of Gray in his hair, a reminder of the years that has passed and the sacrifices he had made for me. 

“Dad.” I called softly, my voice trembling despite the efforts to keep it steady. 

My father looked up, a warm smile spreading across his face, “Azalea, there you are. I was just thinking about dinner, what do you feel like tonight? Pasta or maybe__”

“Dad, I need to talk to you.” I interrupted my heart pounding in my ears. 

The smile faded from his face, replaced by a look of concern. He set the paper down and removed his glasses. Gesturing for me to sit. “What is it sweetheart, you look troubled.”

I hesitated for a moment before I took a seat on the edge of the couch. My hands fidgeted on my laps, betraying my nerves. “I've decided to move out.” 

The words hung in the air like a thunderclap. My father blinked, his expression unreadable. “Move out?” he repeated the words slowly as if the words were foreign to him. 

She nodded slowly, swallowing hard. “I found an apartment, it's a good place and a good start. I think it's time to be on my own.”

My father leaned back in his chair, his gaze fixed on me. For a moment, he said nothing, and the silence stretched on, heavy and suffocating. Finally, he spoke, but his voice was barely above a whisper. “Why now Azalea? Why so suddenly?”

“I need to do this for myself.” I said, my voice shaking. “I love you dad, but I can't stay here forever, I need to live my life and make my own choices without your influence.”

He shook his head, his hands gripping the arms of the chair. “You're all I have, Azalea. After your mother died, it's just been us, I don't understand the sudden need to leave.” 

My throat tightened, tears welling up in my eyes. “Dad, this isn't about leaving you, it's about finding myself. You've always been there for me, and I'm so grateful, but I can't keep relying on you, I need to stand on my own two feet.”

He looked away, his jaw clenched. “You think I'm holding you back?”

“No.” I said quickly, reaching for his hand. “It's not that, i just need to grow and I can't do that if I'm always under your roof.”

His hands trembled in mine, the strength I had always admired now turned into vulnerability. “Have I failed you somehow?” He asked, his voice trembled. “Have I not been enough?”

The question shattered my composure. A sob escaped my lips, I shook my head vehemently. “No, dad. You been more than enough, you've given me everything and I love you for it, but this isn't about you. It's about me.

My father's shoulders slumped, the fight draining out of him. He looked at me with eyes that were both resigned and pleading. 

“I don't want to loose you Azalea.”

“You're not loosing me.” I whispered, tears streaming down my face. “I'll still be here, I'll call, I'll visit. But I need to do this.”

He nodded slowly. His expression one of heartbreak. “When are you leaving?”

“Tonight.” 

I admitted, my voice barely audible. 

His head snapped up, his eyes wide with shock. “Tonight? You're leaving tonight? And you didn't even give me time to prepare?”

“I thought it would be easier this way.” I relied, my voice cracking. “I didn't want to drag it out.” 

My father stood up abruptly, pacing the room like a caged animal. 

“Easier you say? Maybe for you, cause it's certainly not for me. Do you know how this feels like? To watch your only child pack up and leave without warning?”

“I'm sorry dad.” I cried, standing up to face him. “I didn't mean to hurt you.”

He stopped pacing, his back still facing me. For a long moment, he said nothing. Then, in a voice so quiet it was almost a whisper, he said. “I just don't understand why it has to be now.”

I stepped closer, placing a hand on his shoulder. 

“Because if I don't do it now, I might never get around to doing it, and that would be worse, wouldn't it?”

My father turned to face me, his eyes glistening with unshed tears. “Promise me something Azalea, promise me that you'll be careful out there “

“I promise.” I said, my voice choked with emotion. 

He pulled me into a tight embrace, his arms wrapping around me like a shield. For a moment, we stood there, father and daughter bound by love and the pain of goodbye. 

“I love you, Azalea.” he whispered. 

“I love you too dad.” I replied, clinging to him like I could somehow reduce the pain. 

Finally, he released me, his hands lingering on my shoulders. “Go on then.” He said, his voice trembling. “Do what you need to do. 

I nodded, tears streaming down my face. I picked up my suitcase, my heart breaking with every step I took towards the door. At the threshold, I turned back to him one last time. 

“I'll call you tomorrow.” I promised. 

He nodded, his expression unreadable. “Take care, sweetheart.”