Chapter 5: Parent-Teacher Conference: A Dimensionality Reduction Strike

Takuto Kimura crouched behind the kindergarten storage cabinet, writing a cheat sheet on his palm with a crayon. Today was his first parent-teacher meeting since being reborn, and it was the perfect opportunity to interact with his former business partners. You see, Takuto was no ordinary three-year-old. He had been a high-powered corporate executive in his past life, and he had every intention of applying those same high-stakes skills to the world of kindergarten. Today was an important day: he would have the chance to reconnect with old acquaintances, strategize, and maybe—just maybe—take over the sandbox empire.

"Listen up, little bear," he whispered, pressing his favorite stuffed toy against the wall. "Later, you’ll distract the teacher for me. I need to investigate three targets: 1) Vice President Nakajima's wife, 2) Competitor Matsumoto’s wife, and 3) that one who always sends wellness messages in the parent group—maybe she's the HR director from my past life."

The black eyes of the toy reflected the light innocently. Takuto sighed, casting a critical eye on it. "Forget it, your acting skills can’t even fool a board meeting." He thought about shoving the toy into his backpack, but just as he was about to do so, a pair of hands suddenly scooped him up by the back of his collar.

"Gotcha, little bear! Skipping class, are we?" Teacher Yamada's bright smile filled his view as she lifted him effortlessly, her cheery tone barely concealing her amusement. Takuto cursed his miscalculations. His plan to sneak around had been foiled, but he wasn’t about to let this ruin his grand scheme.

Before the parent-teacher meeting began, Takuto managed to sneak into the classroom. He found a cozy spot underneath the snack table, hidden from view, where he could eavesdrop on the mothers’ conversations. His heart raced with excitement—these were the moments when deals were made, secrets were uncovered, and the fate of entire kindergarten kingdoms could change with a single word.

"My child has been saying things like 'monopoly,' 'mergers and acquisitions' recently," Mrs. Nakajima said with a concerned expression. "Has he been watching too many cartoons?"

Takuto almost knocked over the snack table in excitement. Was this the beginning of a new alliance? Could it be that young Nakajima was already thinking about business strategy? The sandpit empire was slowly expanding.

Just as Takuto was about to crawl out from under the table to reveal himself, he overheard something even more explosive:

"My husband also said," Mrs. Matsumoto lowered her voice, "the kid’s been using blocks at home to build something, and keeps saying 'this time we’ll definitely take down Kimura Inc.'..."

Takuto tripped and fell right out from under the table, landing squarely at the feet of both mothers. Mrs. Nakajima bent down with a warm smile. "Oh, isn’t this the little businessman from the Kimura family?"

Mrs. Matsumoto’s smile suddenly froze. "Wait... Kimura?" She leaned in closer, suspicion creeping into her voice.

Taking advantage of the time when the mothers went to listen to the principal’s speech, Takuto snuck over to the sign-in desk. He carefully climbed onto a chair, found Mrs. Nakajima’s number on the parent contact sheet, and used his saliva to wet his finger. Then, in his finest CEO handwriting, he drew a crooked stock chart next to her number. "As long as she’s professional..." he thought to himself. "This could work."

But before he could finish his work, Takuto felt a sudden force lift him into the air.

"You little rascal," the principal smiled, snatching the pen from his hand. "Trying to help your mom sign in?" Turning to the teachers, she said with a laugh, "Look at this child—already learning how to get parent signatures. So clever!"

Takuto winced as his "encrypted information" was transformed into what could only be described as doodles. His plans had once again been thwarted, but not without a sliver of hope. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a cookie, offering it to the principal as a token of goodwill. "Bribe... no, I mean, here’s a cookie for the principal!"

The room erupted with delighted coos of "How cute!" as Takuto held out his offering. No one noticed that the cookie wrapper had his SOS message carved into it with a toothpick. It was a subtle call for help, but he wasn’t entirely confident it would be understood.

During the mingling session, Takuto finally saw his chance. He tugged at Mrs. Nakajima’s skirt and, in the most serious tone he could muster, said, "Tell Nakajima, there’s unusual cash flow in the third-quarter financial report."

Mrs. Nakajima’s eyes widened in shock. "This child... how does he know about financial reports?" Her voice was a mix of admiration and concern.

"And also," Takuto continued with his trademark poise, "the audit for the Southeast Asia factory should be done by PwC. Don’t use that other firm again—they’re shady at best."

Before Mrs. Nakajima could respond, Takuto’s attention was drawn to the tantalizing scent of strawberry cream. A fresh milk cake sat atop the snack table, glistening under the fluorescent lights. Takuto’s eyes widened, and his stomach growled. He stood on tiptoe to reach it, but as he did, disaster struck.

In his eagerness, Takuto lost his balance and the entire cake flew into his face with a splat. For a brief moment, Takuto had an epiphany—business crises were just like cream cakes. "The prettier they are," he thought, "the harder they fall."

As the cream settled on his face, Takuto slowly got to his feet, only to realize that the entire parent-teacher meeting had come to a screeching halt. The room was eerily silent as every camera phone in the room was now pointed directly at his cream-covered face. To his horror, his dinosaur underwear had somehow become caught on the chandelier, swaying gently above him like a flag of defeat.

"This is..." Mrs. Nakajima trembled, pointing at the scene, "Is this a financial report model made out of cream?"

Mrs. Matsumoto, unable to contain her laughter, gasped for air. "Look! There’s M&A (merger and acquisition) written on his belly!"

Takuto, still covered in cream, looked down and realized that the letter stickers he had applied to his chest had been rearranged by the messy cake. He tried to use the remaining crumbs to spell out "HELP," but the principal, thinking it was some form of "creative finger painting," took a photo and posted it on the kindergarten’s official website.

As the mothers gathered around to help clean him up, Takuto decided that the situation had reached critical mass. It was time for a bold move. He took a deep breath, then—without warning—peed his pants.

"Aww~" Mrs. Nakajima was the first to notice, her face filled with concern. "Poor thing, must be too nervous!"

While the adults scrambled to find a replacement pair of pants, Takuto used the moment to execute a masterstroke. He quickly grabbed the velcro on his diaper and stuck a note inside Mrs. Nakajima’s bag: 【CEO of Kimura Inc. turned into a 3-year-old. Evidence in cloud drive/TakutoKimura/RebirthEvidence.docx】

Three days later, Takuto received a note secretly slipped to him by Vice President Nakajima in the sandbox: 【Message received, verification in progress】. Takuto smiled as he looked up to see Matsumoto’s child aiming a water gun at him.

"Dad says you’re a monster!" the child shouted.

As a water gun battle was about to break out, Teacher Yamada’s voice suddenly rang out across the playground.

"Children," she called cheerfully, "Today, we’re going to learn—sharing and cooperation!"

And just like that, Takuto realized that in business, just as in kindergarten, there would always be unexpected twists. The most important thing was to stay flexible, keep an eye on the prize, and never let a little cream—or a water gun—distract you from your ultimate goal.