Chapter 1: Death Row

Fear is the inevitable alarm that calls unto them whenever they feel threatened and endangered, I never actually know when this alarm would resonate within my body. 

Today my fear had left me. 

They fear as an instinct to survive, since they still have the urge to live. Most of them fear death, they fear natural things they see everyday, they fear the things they cannot normally explain, and they fear the unknown waiting to haunt them when they least expect it.

But do you know the most fearsome thing in the world? 

Humans. No other organism in the world is capable of doing creepy things as humans. We created stories to mortify ourselves with shrilling horror and thrill. We built things that were oh-so-capable of shredding our own flesh and petrifying our souls. We name the things we would like to fear. We do fearful things for the sake of it's hidden pleasure.  

We are our own monsters. In fact I'm sort of a worse-case myself.

The night is young, and the moon is soon to appear with the disappearing clouds. I felt the creeping cold air caressing my skin as my escorts brought me inside the station. To be honest, the rancid smell of bleach made my nose runny.

'The sanitation in this place is killing me'

Suddenly in my afterthought a flash of memories I had yet to comprehend invades my mind. 

The memory is so lucid that I could almost feel it. I cannot breathe, as bluish bubbles formed while I gasped for air. With a slight relief of being released on water, internal pain squeezed the life out of me. I felt my lungs screaming. The lack of oxygen made my skin pale. I'm drowning.

'Splash'

The impact of my face hitting the surface of the water woke me up forcibly. I choked as the air went on the wrong tube and the sense of restlessness gathered on my shins. 

I looked around to make amends to my reality. Noticing the cleanliness of the sanitized room. A grin crept on my face, "This is definitely better than my cell in Sabaneta." 

Not later two uniformed personnel entered my chambers. Both of them stared at me from head to toe, it seems to me that they are trying to use their manly eyes to ensnare me. 

I could feel… arrogance and some sort of superiority within them. Through the twitching lights, I watched as the middle-aged officer with a brownish complexion brought out a binder and flipped some pages, sneaking glances at me every now and then. 

"Let's see… Your name is Eliza LaRue, 22 years old. Uhm, you are a Serial Killer. Joe, am I reading this correctly?" 

Returning back to my statement, the officer looked like he was mocking me, even just a second ago I saw him stare at my legs while having a weird smirk. 

People tend to act cautious whenever they face a criminal, it is a natural prejudice that people administer to protect their own conscience. I sense discomfort at the fact that they seem to be mindless of the danger I impose, in fact the senior officer doesn't exercise any kind of caution.

It is not like I'm planning to kill him as he was not a target, but I could if I put my mind into it. 

To be honest, I could actually sneak an attack on him now, then stab him with a pen on his jugular vein like a snake wriggling her prey. 

His head and neck area is actually full of openings. 

Looking at him closely, he resembles an old guy I had killed before, I just couldn't remember exactly why. That foxy brown hair and lampshade-style mustache, definitely feels awfully familiar. 

Then just now I realized something more important should be discussed. 

"Sorry, may I know the exact time of my execution tomorrow… I believe that you already received a report that I requested to speed up the process so I'll spend less time on the death row. I want to be scheduled to be executed through lethal injection a little earlier." 

The both of them seemed agitated by my statement, frantically looking at each other like clueless ducks asking for something. It appears that no one was willing to answer my question. "Ah, about that… Joe, call them…" 

"These incompetent fools," I cursed. "Sorry for that, uhm.. Miss LaRue—"

"Eliza..." I whispered. 

"Hm?"

"Call me Eliza!" I said loud enough this time so he could hear me. 

"Ah, you wanted me to call you casually," he looked flustered a bit, "Where was I?" 

His junior nudged him then flicked some sort of imaginary syringe and pointed at the calendar. "Oh, yes… that," he said and stared back at me, "S-Since there will be a delay in the schedule, to make up for the inconvenience, what food would you like to have for your last supper?" He asked nervously, sneaking a look with the other police who were applauding his senior's witty remark. 

Being asked so suddenly, I cannot think of any answer aside from 'that' thing.

"I'll have a happy meal….  Ah, and don't forget the complementary toy!" I replied, crossing my arms to uplift myself. 

The senior officer deliberately smiled, "Good choice," and nodded in agreement. The junior officer stupidly tried to mimic him, only to lose the timing. 

Pulling a wad of cash from his purse, he turned to look through the door and handed his junior officer some few five dollar bills, in that instance I saw a smiling Lincoln stare at me. 

I almost imagine him saying that he'll be back to fill me up later. A laugh escaped my mouth, which alerted the police. "Sorry, I'm feeling tired already." I said and then stared blankly at them. 

They got weirded and the senior officer pushed his junior toward the door, "We will be back tomorrow morning…" 

The place became awfully quiet all of a sudden; that even my breathing sounded so vivid and crisp. This isolation could make me go nuts. 

Looking around I noticed a camera installed in the corner of the room. The feeling of uneasiness and pleasure aroused some hidden feeling in my chest. 

I slowly tied my hair up in a ponytail, silently stared at the lenses of that camera while standing up in the bed. 

Just like that, I started moving my feet in the interlude. All of a sudden I imagine a song playing in my head, as the silent room becomes dimmer by the second. 

~Ladybird, ladybird fly away home, your house is on fire and your children are gone, All except one, And her name is Anne, 'cuz she hid under the baking pan~

I saw myself running from the hallway down the stairs as the music played more intensely in my head.

~Ladybird, ladybird fly away home, your house is on fire and your children are gone, All except one, And her name is Anne, 'cuz she hid under the baking pan~

Gasping for air I felt a hand grab me by the shoulders. It was then followed by a disembodied voice in my head whispering. 

"Listen!" 

My body froze yet my senses are telling me this isn't reality. My feet were bent on the knees awkwardly, the song was still silently playing in my head accompanied by a vertigo. 

A forgotten image of someone's bloodied arms reappeared in my head, making me pass out for my own grim thoughts. 

* * *

"She's sleeping..." I heard a voice whisper, "I think she's dreaming." 

I cautiously opened my eyes and saw both the officers looking stricken. 

I see that the clock says that it was already 8 a.m. in the morning.

"Is it ready?" I asked. 

"About that… look what we have here!" The junior officer gleefully announced. 

I swallowed my dried saliva.

An uneasy feeling started to settle in my chest as I saw a familiar logo of a yellow arch, dry printed in the paper packaging. 

They dragged the folded table near my bed leaving scratch marks on the cemented floor. Gently placing the paper package in the center, they slowly pulled out it's contents placing it evenly at the table. 

"You forgot the morning coffee." 

"Coffee?"

"Nevermind, caffeine is bad for me…"

The junior officer nods.

The senior officer glanced at me for a moment, his hands were reaching for something in the bag. Then it was revealed; A plastic figure of an iconic animation character expertly packed in a tangy smelling plastic. 

I forgot all my frustrations and I tried to reach out for it, as I felt this sense of longing for the toy. Once my fingers intertwined with the packet, I excitedly tore the plastic apart and released a smiling pink-colored cartoon character named after a type of shortcake. 

Its vanilla-strawberry scented stickers smelled better than I imagined. I examined the toy further and noticed that it was actually a vanity kit, as her hat has a hidden compartment revealing a pinkish powdery substance and a small circular mirror. 

My happiness got more unbearable with every second until I couldn't deny it no longer; I was ashamed of myself, a 22 year old serial killer getting elated for a mere plastic toy. 

The officers were also delighted at my smile. 

"This is the first time you smiled since you arrived…" The senior officer said, "Your decision is really spot on, Captain!" The junior officer seconded. 

I immediately recovered and glared at them, "Thank you," I said sternly.

The officers went out of the room and I proceeded to eat my last meal before my death. 

I was actually surprised that I have been calm since I came here. During this time I feel no fear of the thought that this is going to be my death anniversary. 

Having no sense of family or friends, I won't leave anyone behind aside from these last fleeting memories. And perhaps, I will now have to come to terms with my life. 

I stared at the paper packaging and traced the yellow arch with the pen. A smirk formed in my lips. I grabbed the plastic toy and looked at its mirror. I looked 10 years younger as I applied the pinkish powder evenly on my skin. 

Now I smelled like strawberries.

I paused, "It's time…." 

I went out of the room and the officers monitoring me followed behind. "Uhm… Eliza, Miss Eliza… where are you going?" The junior officer suddenly asked. 

"To the execution chamber," I said, tapping the watch on my wrist twice. 

"What should we do? Distract her or something…" I heard them whisper to each other.

I abruptly stopped, which also halted their steps. I looked back at them and asked politely, "Where is it again?" 

Before I could even react, they immediately grabbed both my shoulders and carried me away somewhere. I was dragged like I was a paper box, the junior officer didn't even have a drop of sweat lifting me for a few meters. 

He dropped me on the floor and noticed that he's now a few centimeters taller than me. He looked down and gave me a gentle smile. 

I was supposed to blush but the feeling didn't come through. I guess he is just not my type. 

They opened the door and the place was cooler with the inverter air-conditioning system on, a wisp of fresh smelling air wafted through my face like a gentle kiss. 

"Is this the execution chamber?" I asked even if I knew that it was not, after all I would not be able to enjoy being killed in front of a T.V. with a satellite subscription. 

"We were still waiting for someone to arrive, so for the meantime stay here and watch some cartoons— I mean whatever you want to watch," the senior officer said. 

"Isn't this what you call preferential treatment!?" I said scornfully. 

"Ah… we just want to make up for inconveniencing you," they replied. 

"Ah, I see… then I apologize for my derision," I said and bowed. 

The awkward smiles tell me something is definitely wrong about these two.

I saw a sharp knife on the table and I looked at both the officers. Their eyes  dilated as they figured out what's on my mind. "Oh, no you don't!" 

We all raced towards the knife but I was a bit faster by a few seconds, my heart was racing as I readied my wrist for a self-service execution. 

Little by little the cold blade touched my skin, and as I closed my eyes for the final moment—

"—Stop!" 

Before I could even end it, a fair lady in glasses entered the room, she was wearing a red casual dress, and a black pencil skirt. Her style was that of a teacher; Those sexualized ones people often see on their television. 

She exudes an intimidating aura making me alert. "Who are…" She puffed a breath and slipped the bag's strap back on her shoulder before it slid off completely, "I came here to get you!" She announced, "The death penalty had been called off." 

"....." 

That was the first time in my life that I got confused after I mustered the courage to end my life.