“If you hated your dad as much as you say you do, you would be long gone… I don’t think you do. I think you want to be here and act like this, so he spends all his time and attention dealing with your bull. You’re just an angry little boy who can’t forgive him yet still wants his love.”
“Gimme a break… what are you a shrink like your mom now? Trying to psychoanalyze me?” He laughs at me, a breathy bro chuckle, and shakes his head as though I’m hilarious. Still infuriating with his hands in his pocket pose and casual lounge. “Newsflash, she sucks at her job, and you’re mini-me attempt is as sad as she is. You don’t know anything.”
“Yes, I do, and don’t talk about my mom like that. She’s an amazing doctor and does it well. She tries hard to make this work. You just…”
“No, she doesn’t. You’re as deluded as she is if you see how she is and think that is her trying to make this work.” Dane yanks his shirt from my hand, where I was unaware I was still gripping it, and steps away from me. “I had enough of this shit in there and don’t have the energy for round two. Go away, leave me alone. I’m sure you have a biology essay calling for you. I have a date, and I’m late thanks to your mom, so back off, Virgin.”
Dane’s tone is forceful with a tint of exasperation, and I know we are going round in circles. This is not the first time we have had this argument in the past months, and it turns out the same every time. He walks off. Insults me, evades it, and leaves.
“You’re a loser who is so caught up in resentment that you’re ruining your own life.” It’s my last ditch attempt to wound him, and before I storm off, his laugh cuts into the growing tension as he turns towards me but continues to walk backward.
“What about you, Little Miss Perfect? Straight A’s, class president, leader of so many mind-numbing afterschool clubs, charity volunteer, and stray animal savior…. Never give your mom a reason to complain and do everything she tells you to, like a good little puppet. Ever ask yourself why you have to be so perfect?… Could it be because you’re afraid she’ll get tired of you like she did your dad and up and leave you?”
His words cut into my chest like a knife. Winding me and pushing my eyes to mist over. He’s always known how to twist the knife in my soul.
“You don’t know me…. none of that is accurate. There’s nothing wrong with being a good kid and doing well. I want to be something with my life and not waste it the way you are.” My voice trembles, and my breathing gets raspy. Hating him for touching a nerve, even if it’s not entirely accurate.
“There is when it’s become an obsessive compulsion from fear of your mom no longer loving you. Try failing something and experiencing the panic it causes you…. We’re both screwed up, Kayla…… You’re in no position to lecture me.”
“You know nothing…. You're an idiot.”
I have no words to come back at him. Incensed at the nerve of this jerk, thinking my need to succeed in life is some sad scar inflicted by my parent's divorce. I’m not him, so caught up in old hurts that I let them rule my life. He’s so stupid.
I can’t argue with it, insult him, think of a sassy response to shut him up, and instead try to brush it off the way I do his insults by not rising to them.
“Carry on living in denial and your boring day-to-day good girl existence … I’ll continue enjoying my youth.” He smirks, dismissing me.
“The fact you are walking tells me my mom took your bike again. Don’t come crying to me tomorrow for a loan of my car again. I won’t give it to you, and you better call Tyler for rides to and from school because I’m not your chauffeur.” I sneer at him, knowing it’s the only punishment my mom can ever exact that my stepdad will support. They take his bike keys and helmets for a few days to try and teach him the consequences of his crappy attitude. He’s always soft on him and holds my mom back when, maybe, if he let her rip at him once in a while, he might grow up.
“Whatever. Look, butt out of my business, okay? We may live in the same house, and our parents may be married, but you are nothing to me but an annoying girl who should stick in her own lane. Concentrate on your own life and get out of mine.”
I want to scream at him. My skin prickles and my heart is pounding through my rib cage, so my breathing is labored while he acts cool as a cucumber. Every word out of that arrogant mouth somehow makes me always want to have the last say. To shut him up, close him down. He’s so self-absorbed.
“You think it’s that easy? Do you even know what the past ten years were like? Being questioned every day after school to check in on you. How you were, who your friends were… your grades…. were you happy? You may have avoided your dad, but I became the source of information that kept him sane because I got to see you every day at school. I don’t want to be in your life, but it’s been about you since the day they got married.” I glare hatefully. “He loves you and tries, but you aren’t worthy.” I stamp my foot “I so wannabe nothing in your life, but you’re a curse I can never get rid of.”
“Feeling’s mutual, Virgin. Go home.” He salutes me with a mock military sign, a smirk, and a chuckle as though all of this is highly amusing, even though I’m panting like I ran a marathon. Holding back a mix of fury and tears borne of frustration. I don’t know how he always affects me this way.
The flash of car headlights rounds the end of the drive and illuminates the dark area behind him, indicating his date is here, and I scowl further as he glances their way and waves a two-minute signal. I catch a glimpse of a shadowy figure, but I can’t tell who she is. Another bimbo he's banging, and that alone is enough to worsen my already foul mood. He’s a man whore loser who will spend his life living on his dad’s money and doing nothing to earn it.
“Kayla, the best thing you could do, is stay away from me … at school, at home…. Wherever you see me…. and tell them you know nothing when he asks. I never asked you to be involved. I owe you nothing. Now… go, I’m leaving.”
“Why are you cooking?” Dane startles me from behind as he walks in, dumping his school bag on the breakfast island, and looks me up and down with a slight arrogance. It makes me bristle all over, given it’s the first thing he has said to me in two days, and it’s not exactly a pleasant tone. Dressed in his uniform still, be it rumpled and untucked like always, so I guess he was at Tyler's until now as school got out two hours ago.“Mum and dad are out, and Monique has a headache, so I told her I would make us dinner,” I answer flatly, ignoring him, and continue turning the meatballs for the pasta. I am hot and sweaty from slaving in here and not in the mood for his dickishness.“Can you even cook?” He sneers, walks up, and leans over my shoulder to stare at what I am doing, getting a little too near for comfort, so his body heat envelopes me from behind, and I elbow him back. Suffocated by his presence, especially when he smells like he is freshly showered and has a new dose of afters
“Dad, can you please reply to me or call me back? It feels like I haven’t heard from you in weeks, and I’m worried about your lack of response. Please, daddy, we have a break coming up in school, and I wanted to see you….. call me back” I hang up and stare at my cell for a moment, a lump lodging in my throat as emotions rise to make my chest ache and then face it down on the table and calm myself with a deep breath. Trying not to let this get to me or show my broken disappointment.I realize Dane isn’t continuing the motion of lifting his fork or turning pages and glance up to see him watching me silently. His eyes dart away, and he drops his head back to his previous focus when he sees I noticed but doesn’t say a word. He acts like he didn’t hear me, even though I know he has before, and flicks to the next page. It embarrasses me that he sees it so clearly and silently judges me, probably calling me pathetic and a loser in his head.What does he know?He has never had to deal with th
“I printed off the class notes for each of you. Take them home, work through them and highlight anything you want to elaborate on tomorrow.” I instruct my study group, sliding out the paperclipped pages to each one, and Elisa slides half the pile from them to pass to the next table.We’re in the library on the second floor, taking our class free period as a time to catch up on biology. This is how I use any free time I get during school hours, unlike some I could mention. My entire existence is about doing well and getting the grades I need to go to Harvard when I graduate, so becoming our class president and the study group leader for our year feels like an achievement.“These are well laid out and really helpful, Kayla. Thank you.” Jordan, a boy from my class, flashes a shy smile, giving me those puppy dog eyes he sometimes has for me. I know he’s had a crush on me since junior year, but I don’t have time for boys. As nice as he is, I don’t need the distraction of dating.He's not u
“I don’t need a babysitter. Go back to class.” Dane sits opposite me in the waiting space outside the principal's office. He’s stretched out, legs across the floor between us and lounging casually with his head back against the wall behind, as though this is no big deal. He is infuriatingly cool despite his mess of a face and his dad being in there trying to save his ass. The school nurse has seen him, and it’s nothing but minor cuts and bruises, which now sports some sterile strips. What I thought was a burst-out piercing was instead a little cut after it broke out. His eyebrow is swelling, but his piercing is still there.I can’t believe I worried about this moron and waited with a nervous breath for him to come out and look absolutely fine. He has some bruising around his jaw and eye, but it’s barely anything compared to the mess Greg was in when he left. He had blood all over his collar and shirt. Dane’s bloody nose was gone after he blew it.“Your dad asked me to sit here while h
“Daddy still ignoring you?” he slides his legs to one side of mine, crosses his feet at the ankles, and gets comfy, propping his head forward to watch me with glee. I turn slightly away, cross mine, and pretend I am disinterested.“Get lost.” I pick up my textbook again to try and ignore him, hating how he always seems to be able to dig into my head and figure out the small things. From a look… For someone who seems oblivious in life, he always catches on real quick to what’s happening around us. It’s annoying. He’s either super observant or can mind-read.“Did I hit a nerve? Ouch…… you know….” He grins at me, and I know something hurtful or cutting is coming, and when it comes to my father, my heart is a fragile mess.“Don’t okay?... Just don’t.” My tone is clipped with an edge of pleading that I didn’t intend. A light waver to my words, and my eyes mist over. I don’t need a big finger pointing at my insecurity over whether my dad even loves me. Especially not from Dane.I don’t nee
A rap rap disrupts my focus on my bedroom door before it’s rudely pushed open, and Dane stands in the open space looking at me at my desk by the veranda.“Monique says to come down for food. You aren’t to eat in your room.” He tells me blankly and then pushes off from my door frame to walk off. Not waiting for a response or to see if I even heard him.I get up, drop my pen beside my notebook and laptop, and follow him out the door. Glad for the food break as I was starting to see double while working on my essay. Seeing him loitering ahead of me in the hallways as he walks at the speed of a snail back to wherever he came from, I hurry to catch up.“Move, slow ass.” I nudge him to one side with my shoulder, barely budging him as I power march up beside him to get by. Seeing as he’s taking up the center of the walkway. Thrusting myself forward to cut in front of him, yet I'm hauled mid-step with a hand on my upper arm and tugged back again, so I stumble into him.“Losers come last.” He
“Yo, virgin…?” He clears his throat, voice strained, and I glance back, seeing him getting to his feet and adjusting his shorts. A little blush on the high points of his cheekbones, but he seems to recover rapidly. He locks his gaze on mine and keeps me rooted as I walk away.“What?” I snark at him, so focused on walking while snarling his way, I walk straight into the door frame and bang my cheek, shoulder, hip, and knee simultaneously and ‘ouch’ in reaction. It’s a sharp shooting pain over the entire left side of my body that has me crumpling.“Yeah … that…. You suck at multitasking.” He laughs at me, wanders up to where I am hopping around, rubbing various sore points on my body and face, and uses his flat palm to push my head away as he passes, covering my entire cheek. I fall on my ass because of my weird posture and holding my leg up, and it only makes me rage all the more.“You’re a jerk. I hope your food chokes you.” I snort, knowing he intentionally distracted me because I wa
“Quiet now, please.” Our class professor raises his hands to bring quiet back to the chatter of our English lesson. “We have one week before break, and I know it’s agonizingly close… but you still have to work.” He turns and taps the board, highlighting random topics with his torch pen that are laid out in a numbered list. “One assignment before then… due on the last day. I want you paired off in groups of four, and we will make this a team deal where I assign you guys one topic each. A full week on nothing but this, so a little seating reshuffle before we end for the weekend. Let’s make this fun and relaxed, guys.”There’s a chorus of groans from everyone in the room, including Elisa next to me, as no one ever likes to group in for projects. Especially not pre-holiday ‘fun’ ones where the assignments are always lame. It’s always unequal pairings where certain people get stuck with the majority of work. I personally do not care, as my control freak self likes the be the one researchin
Dane almost catapults out of the bed. Grips my shoulder with one hand as I move in and suck the tip into my mouth and lets out a groan that almost makes me climax. Its so primal and raw and empowering.He tastes slightly salty, smooth, hard, and yet also good. Hard and thick, and I can barely get comfortable around him with my lips as this is such an alien sensation for me. Not sure if I should be doing anything else except sucking him like a lollipop. It’s not like I have ever watched it be done and only heard girls at school talking about it.How hard can it be?“Kayla….you don’t have…oh fuck…” His words die off as I find my way around what I'm doing, having no clue if it's even right. I suck him some more, explore him with my tongue and lips and take moments to experience this new feeling. Mentally wondering how far into my mouth he should be because I don’t want to end up gagging and throwing up all over him. Better to play it safe and keep only the first inch of him in there and
“You’re scarily quiet. What are you thinking about?” Dane and I are lying face to face in the dark, under the sheets in bed, and curled up together so we’re nose to nose. It’s been maybe twenty minutes of this, and I’m frustrated that I don’t feel any better.It’s like my confidence and security have taken a knock, and my heart is yearning for some extreme way to feel back to how I was an hour ago. Some deep emotional need to have him wipe away my hurt.“I’m fine…just…” I exhale heavily and curl into his body some more, resting my temple against his neck and inhaling his familiar scent. I can’t put into words the weird residual melancholy that tonight has left me. Maybe it was the realization that Dane alone has the power to destroy my heart should he ever actually betray me like that, and it’s made me feel small and vulnerable. Trusting someone with your soul in that way.Maybe it's being slapped with the reality that he has had sex with girls before, had some connection and relation
I mean, she’s smaller than me and tiny in frame, so there’s no way she was able to attack him to the extent of leaving kisses on his body and opening his clothes without his being able to stop her. I was in the bathroom for like ten minutes, so I'm sure he had plenty of time to get something started before I came out. Maybe he heard me coming, and that’s why he was cooling it off again.What am I thinking?Do I really think he would cheat on me?I don’t know anymore, not after seeing that.He’s been acting weird with that girl all night and has been actively avoiding her without any explanation about who she is. She's the one person he never introduced me to. Maybe those should have been the warning signs from the first minute she arrived. Maybe his distance and avoidance were to hide something between them and not that he didn’t want to see her.“Kayla, stop.” Dane tries to grab me from behind a second time as I get up into the room and twist out of his grip. I push him away as hard
The party is in full swing now it’s late, and despite my earlier weirdness over that girl, I am enjoying myself even if I have kept her in my peripheral way more than I should have. These people are easy to get along with, and despite this idea that I was walking into a frat party and bracing myself for it kicking off, it ended up being way more of a hang-out and chill session. It made so much more sense to me why Dane and Tyler frequently hang out with them because it’s nothing like teen boy chaos and wild orgies that I expected. Given Dane admitted most of his image was fake I can now see how he got away with it for so long without creating more mayhem. IF taking off for a party weekend was coming here to do this, then he’s way less rebellious than he pretended to be.Tyler, on the other hand, saying these parties get wild…was clearly joking.We started on the beach with food, music, and volleyball for a few hours. Laughing and getting sand in places that didn’t feel all that great
“Do I look okay?” Elisa blinks at me, the sweet, doe-eyed return of insecurity about her looks as I make her give me a twirl in front of my jeep. Admiring my goddess with the pride of a mother who may as well of birthed her myself.“Gorgeous, baby….. absolutely radiant.” Beaming, I take in the short and tailored dark green dress we picked for her. It’s flat, smooth satin, but the little cap sleeves and scooped neckline are green velvet in a shade a tad darker than the rest. Simple, elegant, and showcases her tall, lean figure and ample bust with curves in all the right places. Her red hair is a satin curtain of softness, held back from her face with a simple dark green velvet Alice band she chose, and her makeup is the trademark vintage I gave her. Tyler almost had an instant orgasm when he laid eyes on my beauty earlier, so I don’t know why she’s doubting her look now we’re here.“I don’t look immature?” She flushes a darker shade of pink and gets a hip nudge from me before looping h
“What about…Happy eighteenth, Kayla….Happy birthday, Baby. I was adamanet I wouldn’t stay longer than today.” He pecks me on the lips as the realization hits me that he’s right. It’s four am and my birthday. I went to bed, not even thinking about that, only seeing him and completely blanked midnight passing us by. I’m again the same age as he is and technically a legal adult.I think it’s the first birthday of my life. I wasn't sitting watching for my dad’s text in hopes he remembered or eagerly counting the minutes until I turned a year older. I didn't even think about it at all.“I am.” Even I sound surprised.“You are…we both are, and I have something for you.” Dane leans away further, forcing me to drop my hands back down onto the bed to let him go as he kneels up over the top of me. Legs on either side of mine but he puts no weight on me. Instead he unzips his leather jacket and crosses his arms in a cute little way so he points at each pocket on the sides. Seeing him with a litt
‘We’re in our street so I won’t be long. As soon as I get in, I’ll take my luggage to my room to give my dad time to go to bed, and then I’ll hop your balcony. Can’t wait to see you xxx.’It’s four am, and I have been dozing on and off for hours while watching my cell and waiting for Dane’s text. Unable to let myself fall asleep fully in case he thinks I’m not eager to see him, and I don’t want to miss his moment of getting home. I’m half asleep, and the vibration makes me jump, scanning the words twice and blinking as it sinks in that he’s here. He’s home or will be in a few minutes.Three weeks of endless waiting and my boy is finally back.I can’t wait. Scooting out of bed, I grab my short, baby pink lightweight robe to cover my skimpy vest and shorts and hightail it across my room. Open the door as quietly as possible because my mom is in bed across the hall and slide out before closing it tight. My nerves are hitched, which makes me weirdly breathless, and even though my heart is
I have a boyfriend to impress. I can’t have every other girl there look sexy for him and me being a frump in some boring outfit.“I’ll figure it out. What are you wearing?” I let it go for now, watching the two about fifteen feet away setting up for a new game with less interest and waving my hand in the air. I am so over playing now we’ve been here for hours.“Don’t add me in this time…. I’ll sit one out and watch you too,” I yell to them to catch Tyler’s attention and get a nod of okay. Dane calling me meant they took my turns the last few shots to leave me over here, so it’s not a shock. I want to sit one out and spend more time talking to him. I feel like a third wheel anyway, with how cutesy they are today. If I stay out of their way, they can forget I am here and have an actual one-on-one date. Something Elisa has been weirdly evasive of, so I guess her training wheels have not come off all the way yet. She likes me there as security even though she obviously doesn’t need me her
“Hey, Babycakes, what are you doing?” Dane’s honey-laden voice croons down the cell to me, a sign he’s not with his mom, seeing he's not trying to be quiet and sounds relaxed, probably in his hotel room.“Watching my best friend pretend she can’t throw a bowling ball so her boyfriend manhandles her while giving a lesson. I swear she’s not the same girl who beats me at this game every time we come.” Focusing on Elisa's play pretend inability is amusing, even if I am shocked she had the gall to put on the pitiful act to get cuddly.She sure is learning fast how to wind Tyler around her little finger.It's only mid-afternoon, but the ten-pin bowling alley is relatively busy, although we managed to blag a corner alley so I could hide in the shadows on the seats here. We’ve been here a while, on our third or fourth game, and I'm happy to sit back and let those two treat it as a date.“You should take tips from her…it wouldn’t hurt to have you soften up and act helpless occasionally to brin