He finally releases me, and I spin on him, shoving him hard in the chest, but it does nothing. Not even a step back, all I get is that side smirk and wink as he brushes his hair out of his eye and lounges casually once more.
"And lose my excuse to cuddle up with my favorite girl? Hell no…. torturing you is my only joy in life. Anyway, why would I want to do a stupid thing like make my dad proud?" He shrugs with one shoulder and swings his backpack from one side to the other in a suave move that has the nearby coven of watchers swooning and probably dampening their panties. I eyeroll and turn on my heel to walk away from him. So done with this conversation and seething that yet again, I caved and agreed to something for this idiot just for a peaceful life. I hate that he knows how to get at me.
"Your rebellion is getting old and boring. It's been almost a decade, and you are still trying to disappoint him as punishment for marrying my mom…. Grow up. Some of us moved on." I sneer, angrily fixing my clothes, and brush my blonde flyaway tendrils of hair back into my messy bun on the top of my head.
"What’s the point in trying when he has my whole life mapped out anyway… my grades mean shit when my entire existence is set in stone, and my future is to sit in a chair for a company I don’t even care about?” It’s a sulky, sarcastic tone that drifts after me as he stops mid-walk. I carry on to get to class, casting him back a glance with a sigh, taking in the tall, athletic stance of a high schooler who met hormones earlier than most. Mixed with the good bone structure, great DNA, and a resemblance to his mom.
The jet black ‘idol’ hair flops forward over one side again, framing his tanned skin and great jawline with pale grey eyes. He does look like he should be on a teen girl magazine cover of bad boys you want to date but shouldn’t. The rumpled casual way he throws his uniform on and somehow makes it look trendy always irked me. Over his biker boots, which he wears religiously, and hints of tattoos he got purely to piss off his dad, peeking at every hint of skin on show. They match the hoops on one ear and the eyebrow and lip piercings as he watches me with an almost scowling expression, his mind clearly on his dad.
He looks like the kind of guy every father would steer their daughters away from, but his family name means somehow, the rich and successful overlook his behavior and style and willingly let their kids date him. Many of them, sometimes all at the same time.
He’s completely shameless.
“Sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” I shrug it off and leave him with his fan group as they slowly start to swarm him. His best friend saunters past me, the same swaggering walk as Dane, with a wink as he heads his way and gets an eyeroll in response. Another beefy hot boy, although that one isn’t as pierced and inked as my brother.
Tyler and Dane are those two kids every high school has. Hot, muscular jock types who pair up young and have this bromance where they do everything in sync and become legends for the less worthy. Sometimes even the same girls.
Both are tall and self-confident and know they are hot and irresistible to certain types of girls. One is blondish and athletic with green eyes, and the other is dark-haired and stockier with grey eyes. Stereotypical bad behaviors and crappy attitudes, although Tyler at least has good grades and seems a little wiser and maturer than Dane.
They are just two leaders of a sad little huddle of popular kids that sneer down their noses at all the lesser beings among us. As seniors, we are meant to be above all that, but his gang still pushes around the less fortunate at times and makes me despise everything about all of them.
My life was great until his mom moved to London almost six months ago and insisted he stay here to finish school, which meant moving in with us. It sucks to be the sister of the school's popular bad boy when all I want to do is get through this with the best grades and acceptance to my chosen university. Keep my head down, focus on my future, and not get caught up in all the drama that comes from living under the same roof as Dane Masters.
The overdramatic sigh from my left pulls my eyes towards the swooning figure of my best friend Elisa, stepping out towards me. My lithe and graceful beauty. She has the lovesick look of a teen girl who is smitten with an unattainable man. Her eyes follow her long-term crush Tyler after he passes me, and she seems to dissolve into sighs as I turn my head to her.
“When will he ever notice I exist?” She mumbles, eyes still glued to her hunk from her down tilted head angle as he walks to Dane, and the two stop to talk, aware of their coven ogling them. This is their morning routine of standing in the walkway as everyone arrives to get maximum ego boosting. Prime view for all their girls to view, croon and praise them as we all make our way into school.
“When will you get a clue and give up on a guy who has been your classmate since kindergarten and still doesn’t know your name? Tyler is as much of a loser as Dane.” I tut at her, slide my arm in hers, and yank her with me to head to registry class.
“It’s not that he doesn’t know it… it’s just he has never needed to use it.” She always tries to make the same excuse and catches my death glare, quieting her protest.
“Exactly. Same class since you could barely walk, and he has never spoken one word to you. He has never even made eye contact with you. Get a new crush…. one that sees you. You deserve better.” I chastise her, pulling on the maternal frowny face that’s a replica of my mother scolding me, and Elisa sags as we walk. Her long auburn hair falls over her face and hides her black-rimmed glasses from view entirely, so all I get is a dainty chin and pouty lips.
“I can’t just give up on my heart's one true desire I have harbored all these years. No one is as perfect as Tyler. One day, he will speak to me.” She exhales heavily, her tone dreamy, and I sigh, only in exasperation.
I eyeroll at this familiar line of conversation. Knowing my friend is a romantic moron who has low self-esteem and could probably pull any guy she wanted if she stopped hiding in her hair and running away to hide in corners whenever anyone dared to talk to her.
Elisa isn’t ugly; she’s pretty in her own natural way with pale, freckled, flawless skin and huge puppy brown eyes that are perfectly almond-shaped and framed with the darkest lashes for a redhead. She is a tall and slender creature with such a delicate bone structure. She has the most symmetrical face I have ever seen; if she stopped staring at her feet, others would also notice it. I always felt like she could be truly stunning if she tied her hair back, lifted her head, and started tailoring her clothes from baggy to fitted.
She’s your typical smart nerd girl who is awkward and pays no attention to clothes or her hair and, despite her love of cosmetics, never wears much. She's painfully shy and stutters when anyone who is not me talks to her, which is why no one does. She has glasses and braces, which don’t take away from her beauty, but she is so self-conscious that she lets her bangs grow out so she can hide in a veil of soft red-brown all day long. So everyone thinks she is some weird recluse.
If it wasn't for being my best friend since birth, I am sure she would have fallen victim to bullying years ago, but I’m too vocal and strong-willed for that BS, and being class president means no one looks at me the wrong way either. My dad donates so much money to this school that no one would ever dare annoy me and, of course, asshole Dane. No one would pick on his sister if they wanted to stay alive.
“Come on.” I drag her along, putting speed into our steps as I catch sight of the wall clock inside the glass wall front entrance to our high school. “I want to get in early and set up for first class. It’s presentation day.” I smile to myself, confident in my work and research for this subject, sure I will get top marks like I always do. I spent the last week cramming like a maniac, double-checking, working hard, and crossing all my T’s. Dane may be hopping on for credit, but I know I am the reason our group will get an A in this, and that loser will only fail in some other way.
It’s inevitable.
“I don’t want to talk. Can you do it?” Elisa is already freaking out about something she knows I will do anyway. The girl is sometimes overly anxious and uptight when she should know, as her appointed best friend, I would never let her suffer.
“Of course. I know the drill. I’ll do the talk if you switch up the slides, and Denny can deal with the model and props. Roseanna can stand with you at the projector laptop and help.” I already have it all planned out. And if that idiot brother of mine is implying he joined our group, he can stand at the side and do what he does best … far away from me. Distract half the low IQ big-busted girls in the class so they don’t ask stupid questions, yawn, and eyeroll, and make out like we are somehow ruining their day.
“Kay. You’re the best, Koala Bear.” Elisa gives me an arm squeeze and rests her head on my shoulder, so her shield of hair falls over her face entirely and relies on me to guide her way.
My girl is a beauty product genius who makes her own and always comes up with the best-smelling stuff. She smells like coconuts and mango today, and I turn and sniff her shampoo with appreciation. This smells new and possibly Elisa-made.
We bonded over science as little kids - what with her love of making potions and lotions and my dream of becoming an animal doctor. Her mission in life is to create animal cruelty-free and vegan brands as organic as possible and with locally sourced ingredients.
“New shampoo?” I ask in curiosity, dodging a teacher as we turn in the hall, and we both nod a good morning in passing. The sun beams in the massive wall of glass that covers half the school as it hits higher in the sky, making us squint until the automatic tinted windows kick in and blur out some of it. We head to the science department on the ground floor to offload our bags. A perk of attending the state's most exclusive and expensive school means we have no shortage of tech and gadgets. A low student population of those whose parents can afford it and a high number of qualified teachers.
“Hmmm. I brought you a bottle too. It’s great for highlighted blonde hair like yours. I added extra moisturizing properties to combat this Florida sun.” Elisa lets go of me as we stop outside the automatic doors of the science rooms, brightened with a mix of artificial and natural light, given the entire downstairs has glass walls between all classes. She follows me inside.
“Awesome. Come on, champ… let’s get to work and knock this out of the park.”
“Where is he? I told him to be here for six, and it’s twenty past! He always has to defy everything we ask of him.” My mom snaps, slamming her fork down on the table by her plate, making everything rattle despite being solid oak and everyone sits tensely as her voice echoes around the giant dining room. “I am so sick of this.”My mum's shoulder-length blonde highlighted hair falls gracefully over her right eye, so she flicks it back with manicured nails. She still looks like a woman in her young thirties and not her mid-forties. Barely has a wrinkle or blemish on her delicate face. Her cheekbones are rosier than normal, even on her sallow skin, and I watch my mom's beauty and elegance with awe, impressed by it even when she’s pissed off.Elisa withdraws further into her hair, so her fork seems to be delivering food into a veil where food disappears, and my stepfather sighs at the head of the table and checks his watch for the fifth time. It’s only the four of us as we wait for Dane,
“Are you not going to wish your father a happy birthday?”And so it begins.I hate conflict like this. My mom doesn’t even give him a second to settle, tension crackling in the air around her with her snappy tone, and the steak in my mouth suddenly feels like I’m chewing ash. Churning up my stomach as my nerves tighten, and for once, I wish my mom would leave it alone.“Yeah…. happy getting older…. power to you,” Dane smirks his dad’s way, with no sincerity, and Bryan nods with a half-smile as if to say thank you. Dane waits until he sees Tyler being served food before he starts to dig in, obviously done with his well wishes. I shake my head at his lack of effort, praying my mom lets it go and stuff food in my mouth to curb the need to call him an asshole.“Can’t you do something properly and respectfully for once?”I sigh inwardly at her voice.My mom could never back down and let it go where he’s concerned, just had to bite.“He’s your father….. don't you have a gift? Something more
I kick rocks on the road, mood simmering and feeling listless as I make my way back up the huge, curved drive to our house after walking Elisa home. It’s getting dark because I hung out at hers for a while to pass the time and give my so-called family a chance to get over their current fight. Elisa made me dinner, and we avoided all talk of earlier, seeing as it was not the first time. I’m tired and looking to go to my room to catch up on study notes before bed. I have a test tomorrow in English lit.As I round the bend obscured by the bushes of our manicured garden, I catch sight of Dane coming this way, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, head down and kicking at debris the same way I am as he walks. He’s changed from his school clothes into that rumpled, badass casual he prefers. Light ripped jeans, a white Tee under an open check shirt with graffiti embroidery across a shoulder and one side. His hair is freshly ruffled, and he’s sporting all the metal he usually wears in his
“If you hated your dad as much as you say you do, you would be long gone… I don’t think you do. I think you want to be here and act like this, so he spends all his time and attention dealing with your bull. You’re just an angry little boy who can’t forgive him yet still wants his love.”“Gimme a break… what are you a shrink like your mom now? Trying to psychoanalyze me?” He laughs at me, a breathy bro chuckle, and shakes his head as though I’m hilarious. Still infuriating with his hands in his pocket pose and casual lounge. “Newsflash, she sucks at her job, and you’re mini-me attempt is as sad as she is. You don’t know anything.”“Yes, I do, and don’t talk about my mom like that. She’s an amazing doctor and does it well. She tries hard to make this work. You just…”“No, she doesn’t. You’re as deluded as she is if you see how she is and think that is her trying to make this work.” Dane yanks his shirt from my hand, where I was unaware I was still gripping it, and steps away from me. “I
“Why are you cooking?” Dane startles me from behind as he walks in, dumping his school bag on the breakfast island, and looks me up and down with a slight arrogance. It makes me bristle all over, given it’s the first thing he has said to me in two days, and it’s not exactly a pleasant tone. Dressed in his uniform still, be it rumpled and untucked like always, so I guess he was at Tyler's until now as school got out two hours ago.“Mum and dad are out, and Monique has a headache, so I told her I would make us dinner,” I answer flatly, ignoring him, and continue turning the meatballs for the pasta. I am hot and sweaty from slaving in here and not in the mood for his dickishness.“Can you even cook?” He sneers, walks up, and leans over my shoulder to stare at what I am doing, getting a little too near for comfort, so his body heat envelopes me from behind, and I elbow him back. Suffocated by his presence, especially when he smells like he is freshly showered and has a new dose of afters
“Dad, can you please reply to me or call me back? It feels like I haven’t heard from you in weeks, and I’m worried about your lack of response. Please, daddy, we have a break coming up in school, and I wanted to see you….. call me back” I hang up and stare at my cell for a moment, a lump lodging in my throat as emotions rise to make my chest ache and then face it down on the table and calm myself with a deep breath. Trying not to let this get to me or show my broken disappointment.I realize Dane isn’t continuing the motion of lifting his fork or turning pages and glance up to see him watching me silently. His eyes dart away, and he drops his head back to his previous focus when he sees I noticed but doesn’t say a word. He acts like he didn’t hear me, even though I know he has before, and flicks to the next page. It embarrasses me that he sees it so clearly and silently judges me, probably calling me pathetic and a loser in his head.What does he know?He has never had to deal with th
“I printed off the class notes for each of you. Take them home, work through them and highlight anything you want to elaborate on tomorrow.” I instruct my study group, sliding out the paperclipped pages to each one, and Elisa slides half the pile from them to pass to the next table.We’re in the library on the second floor, taking our class free period as a time to catch up on biology. This is how I use any free time I get during school hours, unlike some I could mention. My entire existence is about doing well and getting the grades I need to go to Harvard when I graduate, so becoming our class president and the study group leader for our year feels like an achievement.“These are well laid out and really helpful, Kayla. Thank you.” Jordan, a boy from my class, flashes a shy smile, giving me those puppy dog eyes he sometimes has for me. I know he’s had a crush on me since junior year, but I don’t have time for boys. As nice as he is, I don’t need the distraction of dating.He's not u
“I don’t need a babysitter. Go back to class.” Dane sits opposite me in the waiting space outside the principal's office. He’s stretched out, legs across the floor between us and lounging casually with his head back against the wall behind, as though this is no big deal. He is infuriatingly cool despite his mess of a face and his dad being in there trying to save his ass. The school nurse has seen him, and it’s nothing but minor cuts and bruises, which now sports some sterile strips. What I thought was a burst-out piercing was instead a little cut after it broke out. His eyebrow is swelling, but his piercing is still there.I can’t believe I worried about this moron and waited with a nervous breath for him to come out and look absolutely fine. He has some bruising around his jaw and eye, but it’s barely anything compared to the mess Greg was in when he left. He had blood all over his collar and shirt. Dane’s bloody nose was gone after he blew it.“Your dad asked me to sit here while h
Here I am, wallowing in pain and heartbreak, thinking that he, too, must be having a really hard time. It’s the only comfort I have been able to give myself in all of this, and yet it’s not even true. He’s over there living it up with another girl, making friends, and even going to school with her. The fact no one wants to tell me means it’s far from innocent, and I don’t want to believe he would move on so fast, yet something tells me this is his style.This is exactly the kind of shit Dane of the past would pull.Didn’t he try throwing all in with that shrew Charmaigne in an attempt to dislodge my feelings for him? Maybe knowing we can never be together, he has gone down the route of replacing me as fast as he can. Don’t they say the faster way to get over someone is to get under someone new?He slept with other girls in his past to try and forget me, and now here he has a ready-made wannabe girlfriend living in his new home. If he really wanted to get over me, she is the perfect st
School was tougher today than yesterday. I think it’s the inability to sleep and the slow loss of Dane’s belongings and possessions at home, feeling like I am trying to grasp onto fine dry sand and can’t keep it between my fingers. Every time I close my eyes, I see him, and the overwhelming sadness stops me from being able to shut off my brain and roll over this mess again and again until I feel like I'm going slowly insane.I never knew love could be so awful.“You okay?” Elisa interrupts my spaced-out mood and pulls me back to the burger in my hand that I have barely touched. Sighing as I stare back out the window blankly at my jeep parked nearby and nod.“A million miles away. Sorry.”We decided to come out and eat after we dropped off my paternity test at the lab out here, only ten miles from home. Tyler had something to do with his friends, so Elisa and I decided to hang out here, take in some scenery, and try a burger bar to take my mind off of things.It wasn't hard. I put a sw
“I know, I know…I’m working on it. I never thought your mom would take it as badly as she is and dig her heels in. I’m sorry it seems like we’re stalling but it’s just you know how she can be. She needs time to calm down and change her mind.” Bryan looks weary all of a sudden, and now my anger dims a slight tiny fraction at his attempts to douse my fire, I cannot deny that he seems unnaturally pale today.A tiny hint of empathy and maybe even concern peeks out, and I try and push it back down into the pits of hell and remind myself that these two humans deserve anything they are going through. I don’t want to feel anything for either of them.“Maybe you should ask yourself why she is stalling….maybe you need that test as much as I do.” I point out, appraising his expression and seeing real fatigue etched on his face for the first time in as long as I can remember, and I wonder how much of a mental toll it's taking on him, too. Maybe he does have doubts, or maybe losing Dane this way h
I’m tired already, and it’s only eleven AM, and another class is starting. I regret coming back today, given last night I barely slept and instead cried myself raw on Dane's empty bed. Draped in the hoody that he wore the first time we took Elisa to the cove and staring at the mountain of boxes Monique packed up to send abroad for him. A symbolic tower of everything that is him ready to be sent far away.His room felt like she had stripped all personality that was Dane from its very air, as though he never existed in this space. Even his smell was gone, and as I lay there on the uncovered mattress, I couldn’t move or leave, and sleep wouldn’t take me. Just a useless heavyweight of flesh tethered to the last place he dwelled and unable to move on.I feel like I am now existing in an eternal zombie state, caught between numb and excruciating pain at any given moment, and my mind is anywhere but on school. But I know I cannot keep existing this way. Dragging out and holding onto nothing.
“She went to the airport early to wait for Bryan…to avoid me, I guess. Things here have been strained and hard, and we have come to a silent cold war. I can’t stand being in the same place as her, yet she insists now we eat together again and won’t let me stay locked up in my room. She had a carpenter come and remove the locks….who does that?” It’s a tired accusation, lacking real vavoom, even if it still angers me that she did it. I have long since lost the fight I had to stay away from her at all costs. She is like a buzzing fly around my head, and it’s easier to obey and eat silently while ignoring her presence than have her hammering down my door.If she’s trying to force normalcy back into this house, then she shouldn’t hold her breath for it to happen.“Sounds like something your mom would do.” Tyler snorts, and I am starting to see that all these years, Dane has definitely colored his friend’s view of my mom. As polite as Tyler was when he was here before, I have never actually
“Oh my god, I missed you so much.” Elisa catapults herself into my arms, almost knocking me into our pool with the enthusiasm of an over-excited puppy, then nearly strangles me to death while simultaneously crushing my ribs. Her excitement is palpable, and her hug is overdue. I regret now giving her the silent treatment for ten days before being able to find the mental strength to tell her everything in a phone call. I had no way of verbalizing things without breaking down in hysteria until last night, and I knew Tyler would have told her already, but she needed to hear it from me. I have never gone silent on my best friend in my whole life or hidden away Dane style like his, but I needed time to process and grieve. This was such a huge thing that I spent too many days crying in bed until no more tears fell. I am exhausted and now exist in some odd dreamlike reality where nothing seems real.I think I am finally spent. Tears have dried up, and instead of the constant agonizing pain of
“You have to eat, open the door. We need to talk.”“Go away…. Leave me alone.” My anger and venom have not dissipated any; instead, it grows by the hour. Irritated by my mom’s lingering presence because she just won’t leave me alone.Her whiny, pleading voice only riles fresh anger in me, and I throw my pillow at my bedroom door in frustration. Annoyed by her presence, and go back to staring at my cell, waiting for a reply that hasn’t come. I feel like I am going silently insane, and time has come to a standstill. I don’t know what else to do but sit here and wait given my entire existence has been turned upside down and my hope for any future is so far away I cannot reach him.Dane has been gone for days, yet he hasn’t called, he hasn’t texted me back, and Bryan has been silent, too, like they were sucked into some soundproofed bubble where all contact has ceased. For me, anyway. I don’t know if my mother speaks to them because I can't stomach her at all, even for a second, to have o
“Bullshit…this is bullshit. You’re lying.” Dane erupts before I can really swallow down the words that have wounded me with a sucker punch to my heart. “You’ve always hated me, and I wouldn’t put it past you to stoop this low and lie….so I break up with Kayla.” He half yells, half accuses, straining forward to get in her face, and I can taste the growing despair and anger circling him like a cyclone. “I don’t believe you.”“This isn’t true…you would have told me…dad would have….” I trail off, whimpering the words as something clicks in my head and slices through me with speed and severity, making my legs tingle, and my limbs grow weak. “Is that why? Why has he been this way towards me for the past ten years?”I don’t want to believe this or swallow it down, but it’s like something just smacked me in the head and woke up the underlying doubts.It races through my brain and thunders through my entire body like a shocking cold wall of ice. Tingling my brain through my scalp, and even my
“Mom.” Is the only word I can gasp out as I push Dane off me at speed and scramble to right my bra inside my shirt and haul my shorts back into place. Shame flushing over my entire body that we just got caught this way, and I want the ground to open and swallow me. Mortified about what they saw us doing and yet, at the same time, hitting an all-time ‘oh shit’ moment because I don’t want this to be the end. I don’t want Dane to be sent to London. I don’t want to lose him this way.I have an urge to wail and run away, taking him with me rather than face the wrath of our parents like this. My limbs are already trembling in cold fear.Dane shifts away quickly, too, to tend to his pulled-around outfit, turning away directly to probably calm the boner, causing him an obvious trouser tent, and yet it’s like time stands still. The sudden eery, heavy atmosphere and tense silence as though the world has hushed and the only noise is my mother’s subtle simpering.Our parents are standing like a f