He finally releases me, and I spin on him, shoving him hard in the chest, but it does nothing. Not even a step back, all I get is that side smirk and wink as he brushes his hair out of his eye and lounges casually once more.
"And lose my excuse to cuddle up with my favorite girl? Hell no…. torturing you is my only joy in life. Anyway, why would I want to do a stupid thing like make my dad proud?" He shrugs with one shoulder and swings his backpack from one side to the other in a suave move that has the nearby coven of watchers swooning and probably dampening their panties. I eyeroll and turn on my heel to walk away from him. So done with this conversation and seething that yet again, I caved and agreed to something for this idiot just for a peaceful life. I hate that he knows how to get at me.
"Your rebellion is getting old and boring. It's been almost a decade, and you are still trying to disappoint him as punishment for marrying my mom…. Grow up. Some of us moved on." I sneer, angrily fixing my clothes, and brush my blonde flyaway tendrils of hair back into my messy bun on the top of my head.
"What’s the point in trying when he has my whole life mapped out anyway… my grades mean shit when my entire existence is set in stone, and my future is to sit in a chair for a company I don’t even care about?” It’s a sulky, sarcastic tone that drifts after me as he stops mid-walk. I carry on to get to class, casting him back a glance with a sigh, taking in the tall, athletic stance of a high schooler who met hormones earlier than most. Mixed with the good bone structure, great DNA, and a resemblance to his mom.
The jet black ‘idol’ hair flops forward over one side again, framing his tanned skin and great jawline with pale grey eyes. He does look like he should be on a teen girl magazine cover of bad boys you want to date but shouldn’t. The rumpled casual way he throws his uniform on and somehow makes it look trendy always irked me. Over his biker boots, which he wears religiously, and hints of tattoos he got purely to piss off his dad, peeking at every hint of skin on show. They match the hoops on one ear and the eyebrow and lip piercings as he watches me with an almost scowling expression, his mind clearly on his dad.
He looks like the kind of guy every father would steer their daughters away from, but his family name means somehow, the rich and successful overlook his behavior and style and willingly let their kids date him. Many of them, sometimes all at the same time.
He’s completely shameless.
“Sounds like a ‘you’ problem.” I shrug it off and leave him with his fan group as they slowly start to swarm him. His best friend saunters past me, the same swaggering walk as Dane, with a wink as he heads his way and gets an eyeroll in response. Another beefy hot boy, although that one isn’t as pierced and inked as my brother.
Tyler and Dane are those two kids every high school has. Hot, muscular jock types who pair up young and have this bromance where they do everything in sync and become legends for the less worthy. Sometimes even the same girls.
Both are tall and self-confident and know they are hot and irresistible to certain types of girls. One is blondish and athletic with green eyes, and the other is dark-haired and stockier with grey eyes. Stereotypical bad behaviors and crappy attitudes, although Tyler at least has good grades and seems a little wiser and maturer than Dane.
They are just two leaders of a sad little huddle of popular kids that sneer down their noses at all the lesser beings among us. As seniors, we are meant to be above all that, but his gang still pushes around the less fortunate at times and makes me despise everything about all of them.
My life was great until his mom moved to London almost six months ago and insisted he stay here to finish school, which meant moving in with us. It sucks to be the sister of the school's popular bad boy when all I want to do is get through this with the best grades and acceptance to my chosen university. Keep my head down, focus on my future, and not get caught up in all the drama that comes from living under the same roof as Dane Masters.
The overdramatic sigh from my left pulls my eyes towards the swooning figure of my best friend Elisa, stepping out towards me. My lithe and graceful beauty. She has the lovesick look of a teen girl who is smitten with an unattainable man. Her eyes follow her long-term crush Tyler after he passes me, and she seems to dissolve into sighs as I turn my head to her.
“When will he ever notice I exist?” She mumbles, eyes still glued to her hunk from her down tilted head angle as he walks to Dane, and the two stop to talk, aware of their coven ogling them. This is their morning routine of standing in the walkway as everyone arrives to get maximum ego boosting. Prime view for all their girls to view, croon and praise them as we all make our way into school.
“When will you get a clue and give up on a guy who has been your classmate since kindergarten and still doesn’t know your name? Tyler is as much of a loser as Dane.” I tut at her, slide my arm in hers, and yank her with me to head to registry class.
“It’s not that he doesn’t know it… it’s just he has never needed to use it.” She always tries to make the same excuse and catches my death glare, quieting her protest.
“Exactly. Same class since you could barely walk, and he has never spoken one word to you. He has never even made eye contact with you. Get a new crush…. one that sees you. You deserve better.” I chastise her, pulling on the maternal frowny face that’s a replica of my mother scolding me, and Elisa sags as we walk. Her long auburn hair falls over her face and hides her black-rimmed glasses from view entirely, so all I get is a dainty chin and pouty lips.
“I can’t just give up on my heart's one true desire I have harbored all these years. No one is as perfect as Tyler. One day, he will speak to me.” She exhales heavily, her tone dreamy, and I sigh, only in exasperation.
I eyeroll at this familiar line of conversation. Knowing my friend is a romantic moron who has low self-esteem and could probably pull any guy she wanted if she stopped hiding in her hair and running away to hide in corners whenever anyone dared to talk to her.
Elisa isn’t ugly; she’s pretty in her own natural way with pale, freckled, flawless skin and huge puppy brown eyes that are perfectly almond-shaped and framed with the darkest lashes for a redhead. She is a tall and slender creature with such a delicate bone structure. She has the most symmetrical face I have ever seen; if she stopped staring at her feet, others would also notice it. I always felt like she could be truly stunning if she tied her hair back, lifted her head, and started tailoring her clothes from baggy to fitted.
She’s your typical smart nerd girl who is awkward and pays no attention to clothes or her hair and, despite her love of cosmetics, never wears much. She's painfully shy and stutters when anyone who is not me talks to her, which is why no one does. She has glasses and braces, which don’t take away from her beauty, but she is so self-conscious that she lets her bangs grow out so she can hide in a veil of soft red-brown all day long. So everyone thinks she is some weird recluse.
If it wasn't for being my best friend since birth, I am sure she would have fallen victim to bullying years ago, but I’m too vocal and strong-willed for that BS, and being class president means no one looks at me the wrong way either. My dad donates so much money to this school that no one would ever dare annoy me and, of course, asshole Dane. No one would pick on his sister if they wanted to stay alive.
“Come on.” I drag her along, putting speed into our steps as I catch sight of the wall clock inside the glass wall front entrance to our high school. “I want to get in early and set up for first class. It’s presentation day.” I smile to myself, confident in my work and research for this subject, sure I will get top marks like I always do. I spent the last week cramming like a maniac, double-checking, working hard, and crossing all my T’s. Dane may be hopping on for credit, but I know I am the reason our group will get an A in this, and that loser will only fail in some other way.
It’s inevitable.
“I don’t want to talk. Can you do it?” Elisa is already freaking out about something she knows I will do anyway. The girl is sometimes overly anxious and uptight when she should know, as her appointed best friend, I would never let her suffer.
“Of course. I know the drill. I’ll do the talk if you switch up the slides, and Denny can deal with the model and props. Roseanna can stand with you at the projector laptop and help.” I already have it all planned out. And if that idiot brother of mine is implying he joined our group, he can stand at the side and do what he does best … far away from me. Distract half the low IQ big-busted girls in the class so they don’t ask stupid questions, yawn, and eyeroll, and make out like we are somehow ruining their day.
“Kay. You’re the best, Koala Bear.” Elisa gives me an arm squeeze and rests her head on my shoulder, so her shield of hair falls over her face entirely and relies on me to guide her way.
My girl is a beauty product genius who makes her own and always comes up with the best-smelling stuff. She smells like coconuts and mango today, and I turn and sniff her shampoo with appreciation. This smells new and possibly Elisa-made.
We bonded over science as little kids - what with her love of making potions and lotions and my dream of becoming an animal doctor. Her mission in life is to create animal cruelty-free and vegan brands as organic as possible and with locally sourced ingredients.
“New shampoo?” I ask in curiosity, dodging a teacher as we turn in the hall, and we both nod a good morning in passing. The sun beams in the massive wall of glass that covers half the school as it hits higher in the sky, making us squint until the automatic tinted windows kick in and blur out some of it. We head to the science department on the ground floor to offload our bags. A perk of attending the state's most exclusive and expensive school means we have no shortage of tech and gadgets. A low student population of those whose parents can afford it and a high number of qualified teachers.
“Hmmm. I brought you a bottle too. It’s great for highlighted blonde hair like yours. I added extra moisturizing properties to combat this Florida sun.” Elisa lets go of me as we stop outside the automatic doors of the science rooms, brightened with a mix of artificial and natural light, given the entire downstairs has glass walls between all classes. She follows me inside.
“Awesome. Come on, champ… let’s get to work and knock this out of the park.”
“Where is he? I told him to be here for six, and it’s twenty past! He always has to defy everything we ask of him.” My mom snaps, slamming her fork down on the table by her plate, making everything rattle despite being solid oak and everyone sits tensely as her voice echoes around the giant dining room. “I am so sick of this.”My mum's shoulder-length blonde highlighted hair falls gracefully over her right eye, so she flicks it back with manicured nails. She still looks like a woman in her young thirties and not her mid-forties. Barely has a wrinkle or blemish on her delicate face. Her cheekbones are rosier than normal, even on her sallow skin, and I watch my mom's beauty and elegance with awe, impressed by it even when she’s pissed off.Elisa withdraws further into her hair, so her fork seems to be delivering food into a veil where food disappears, and my stepfather sighs at the head of the table and checks his watch for the fifth time. It’s only the four of us as we wait for Dane,
“Are you not going to wish your father a happy birthday?”And so it begins.I hate conflict like this. My mom doesn’t even give him a second to settle, tension crackling in the air around her with her snappy tone, and the steak in my mouth suddenly feels like I’m chewing ash. Churning up my stomach as my nerves tighten, and for once, I wish my mom would leave it alone.“Yeah…. happy getting older…. power to you,” Dane smirks his dad’s way, with no sincerity, and Bryan nods with a half-smile as if to say thank you. Dane waits until he sees Tyler being served food before he starts to dig in, obviously done with his well wishes. I shake my head at his lack of effort, praying my mom lets it go and stuff food in my mouth to curb the need to call him an asshole.“Can’t you do something properly and respectfully for once?”I sigh inwardly at her voice.My mom could never back down and let it go where he’s concerned, just had to bite.“He’s your father….. don't you have a gift? Something more
I kick rocks on the road, mood simmering and feeling listless as I make my way back up the huge, curved drive to our house after walking Elisa home. It’s getting dark because I hung out at hers for a while to pass the time and give my so-called family a chance to get over their current fight. Elisa made me dinner, and we avoided all talk of earlier, seeing as it was not the first time. I’m tired and looking to go to my room to catch up on study notes before bed. I have a test tomorrow in English lit.As I round the bend obscured by the bushes of our manicured garden, I catch sight of Dane coming this way, hands shoved in the pockets of his jeans, head down and kicking at debris the same way I am as he walks. He’s changed from his school clothes into that rumpled, badass casual he prefers. Light ripped jeans, a white Tee under an open check shirt with graffiti embroidery across a shoulder and one side. His hair is freshly ruffled, and he’s sporting all the metal he usually wears in his
“If you hated your dad as much as you say you do, you would be long gone… I don’t think you do. I think you want to be here and act like this, so he spends all his time and attention dealing with your bull. You’re just an angry little boy who can’t forgive him yet still wants his love.”“Gimme a break… what are you a shrink like your mom now? Trying to psychoanalyze me?” He laughs at me, a breathy bro chuckle, and shakes his head as though I’m hilarious. Still infuriating with his hands in his pocket pose and casual lounge. “Newsflash, she sucks at her job, and you’re mini-me attempt is as sad as she is. You don’t know anything.”“Yes, I do, and don’t talk about my mom like that. She’s an amazing doctor and does it well. She tries hard to make this work. You just…”“No, she doesn’t. You’re as deluded as she is if you see how she is and think that is her trying to make this work.” Dane yanks his shirt from my hand, where I was unaware I was still gripping it, and steps away from me. “I
“Why are you cooking?” Dane startles me from behind as he walks in, dumping his school bag on the breakfast island, and looks me up and down with a slight arrogance. It makes me bristle all over, given it’s the first thing he has said to me in two days, and it’s not exactly a pleasant tone. Dressed in his uniform still, be it rumpled and untucked like always, so I guess he was at Tyler's until now as school got out two hours ago.“Mum and dad are out, and Monique has a headache, so I told her I would make us dinner,” I answer flatly, ignoring him, and continue turning the meatballs for the pasta. I am hot and sweaty from slaving in here and not in the mood for his dickishness.“Can you even cook?” He sneers, walks up, and leans over my shoulder to stare at what I am doing, getting a little too near for comfort, so his body heat envelopes me from behind, and I elbow him back. Suffocated by his presence, especially when he smells like he is freshly showered and has a new dose of afters
“Dad, can you please reply to me or call me back? It feels like I haven’t heard from you in weeks, and I’m worried about your lack of response. Please, daddy, we have a break coming up in school, and I wanted to see you….. call me back” I hang up and stare at my cell for a moment, a lump lodging in my throat as emotions rise to make my chest ache and then face it down on the table and calm myself with a deep breath. Trying not to let this get to me or show my broken disappointment.I realize Dane isn’t continuing the motion of lifting his fork or turning pages and glance up to see him watching me silently. His eyes dart away, and he drops his head back to his previous focus when he sees I noticed but doesn’t say a word. He acts like he didn’t hear me, even though I know he has before, and flicks to the next page. It embarrasses me that he sees it so clearly and silently judges me, probably calling me pathetic and a loser in his head.What does he know?He has never had to deal with th
“I printed off the class notes for each of you. Take them home, work through them and highlight anything you want to elaborate on tomorrow.” I instruct my study group, sliding out the paperclipped pages to each one, and Elisa slides half the pile from them to pass to the next table.We’re in the library on the second floor, taking our class free period as a time to catch up on biology. This is how I use any free time I get during school hours, unlike some I could mention. My entire existence is about doing well and getting the grades I need to go to Harvard when I graduate, so becoming our class president and the study group leader for our year feels like an achievement.“These are well laid out and really helpful, Kayla. Thank you.” Jordan, a boy from my class, flashes a shy smile, giving me those puppy dog eyes he sometimes has for me. I know he’s had a crush on me since junior year, but I don’t have time for boys. As nice as he is, I don’t need the distraction of dating.He's not u
“I don’t need a babysitter. Go back to class.” Dane sits opposite me in the waiting space outside the principal's office. He’s stretched out, legs across the floor between us and lounging casually with his head back against the wall behind, as though this is no big deal. He is infuriatingly cool despite his mess of a face and his dad being in there trying to save his ass. The school nurse has seen him, and it’s nothing but minor cuts and bruises, which now sports some sterile strips. What I thought was a burst-out piercing was instead a little cut after it broke out. His eyebrow is swelling, but his piercing is still there.I can’t believe I worried about this moron and waited with a nervous breath for him to come out and look absolutely fine. He has some bruising around his jaw and eye, but it’s barely anything compared to the mess Greg was in when he left. He had blood all over his collar and shirt. Dane’s bloody nose was gone after he blew it.“Your dad asked me to sit here while h
“Deal…. I want my boyfriend back how he was. I don’t want to remember any of this shitty separation. Can we get back together?” I ask stupidly even though it’s obvious we are already making up. I just need him to say the words to help with the insecurity I am feleing after how cold he was. “I want my boyfriend back.”“Technically, babycakes, we never broke up. Neither of us said the words so we don’t need to get back together. He shrugs like this is the most logical thing ever, and I lean back to scowl at him.He does not get out of his asshole past four weeks that easily. The boy really is trying to pull a fast one.“Really?” I ask in obvious, oozing sarcasm. “Because I remember clearly a certain boy telling me he was going no contact and not coming back from the UK before he blocked me on absolutely everything….that was a very final break up even if you never said ‘the words.’ You can’t be in a relationship with someone who moved abroad and refuses to communicate with you.” I point
“I have been needing this for the past month,” Dane murmurs into my cheek, squeezing me half to death, and lifts me off my feet to further crush my ribcage and plants a kiss right in front of my ear before dropping me back down. I can feel that for him, much like me, this is something we have both longed for.This feeling of home and getting back security, safety, and a special intimacy of being with hat one person who can make your world seem right. Like sinking into a hot bath or being cocoonedin a fluffy blanket on a cold day. I can barely contain the elation and the need to sob into his chest because of how much I have missed him. Even though he’s here, holding me, it causes an aching pain to shoot through my heart, and my whole body throbs with intensity.“I missed you so much I felt like I was dying,” Dane murmurs, his voice husky and ravaged with emotion, into my ear before pulling back so we’re separate facially, but our bodies remain glued together. “I needed to see you so ba
It sounds familiar. My reaction to my mom and how much hate and resentment I felt at that time, knowing she did this to us but, also lied and kept it a secret. I can imagine what Dane felt and how awful it must have been. I lived it and know how crazy I felt going through that realization. It breaks your trust and stability to have your own mom break your heart.“And then what? You got it back and decided I didn’t need an explanation, only a goodbye?” Emotion aches my throat as I say it, hating that he so easily cut me off like I didn’t matter. Not sounding angry but deflated because, understanding aside, he still did that to me.“That was the hardest text I have ever sent in my life. You have to believe me - it’s not what I wanted….. She agreed to give me back my cell for limited hours in the evenings on the condition. That I blocked all contact with you… Her and my dad convinced me how selfish I was in holding onto you. That we could never be together and that I would only ruin your
It’s five am, and I am walking while I ball a fist into my mouth to stifle a yawn, climbing the stairs to my room in a semi-dark house as most of the curtains are still drawn. Monique hasn’t started her day yet and won’t know I am even home. Elisa had school today, so I figured I would get out of her hair and come home to vegetate in my house while I figure out what I am meant to do about my mom and Bryan. My mom thinks I’m sick, so for now, the food runs will be on Monique, and I can hide until I know what to do.I have barely slept and tossed and turned most of the night, so getting up this early was not exactly a hardship. I was already awake. Numb and exhausted, and when I did sleep, it was bizarrely messed up dreams about Dane being in the hospital instead of Bryan, and I kept jump-scaring myself awake in panic. Sweating and reaching for him like I was about to lose him.Upstairs is eerily silent with zero lights or noise as my mom has been sleeping at the hospital. Dane's bedroo
“Here.” Elisa slides down beside me on her bed where I have been sobbing to her for the last hour, pushing the warm cup of cocoa into my free hand. I’m clutching a wad of tissues with the other, looking pathetic and snotty, blotchy and red-faced. Sniffing chaotically and gulping as the last evidence of my almighty emotional breakdown fades back into calm. I feel like I have been hit by a train.I guess I had been holding so much inside concerning the paternity test that it finally came to a head. I had been ignoring its existence, trying not to wait for it as deep down, I had resigned myself to believing there was no hope. So, seeing it and knowing it was all for nothing somehow broke me.Not just in a painful way, but I get a sense of relief, and that is as equally overwhelming as the tension I have been holding in a tight ball finally coming undone. I cried not just for loss but for the removal of some of that weighty pressure.“Are you feeling a little better?” She softly smiles, b
Overwhelming sadness strangles me that all it could have taken was him staying for one part of this to come out unscathed. Waiting with me while we figured this out and got the tests together. If we had any sense, we would have just had his DNA tested with mine. To see we were not brother and sister in those first few days.But he left me.“It’s not mine, it’s his… give it to him.” I nod Dane’s way, unable to look at him, unable to see them together now I know for sure we are not related. We are so broken.I don’t wait for a response. Pulling my bag against me and clutching my cell to my chest. I can’t.A second wave of tears and anger mixed up in a confusing mishmash hurts my chest and ribs and makes breathing harder, so I feel like I am dying. I fast walk to the elevators without looking back and frantic stab at the button of the nearest one. Relieved when it opens right away.I can’t make myself look their way, but turning to push the ground floor button, I accidentally catch sight
I must sit in numbed shock for minutes as tears pour down my face and then zone back into reality and the fact I am still sitting in this sterile room. My mind was lost to some weird state of nothing as I try to digest what I am reading and flick through the papers again as though I had hallucinated it. I can’t swallow it down as this dream state of weirdness pushes me to feel like I am floating in some dizzy haze.There it is in red ink, so bold you cannot miss it or the meaning. There is no mistake and no other way to interpret it. It even states on the cover sheet what your results mean, and right there, it says a zero percent score means no blood relation to your test subject.I let out a sob of sheer devastation. Not because I’m sad that he’s not but because of everything I have suffered in these last weeks. It’s relief and yet also resentment and heartbreak all rolled into one. Self-pity for what I have endured.Every stab at my heart, every crumbling of my soul and mental state
“Mom is running late today?” I point out while packing away Bryan’s dishes from lunch. Slightly irritated by it. Eyes on the clock as I don’t want a repeat of yesterday and running into that jerk and his shadow again. I have decided that for my own mental state Dane is right and we should not intend to ever cross paths. Seeing him causes more harm than good and it reminds me everytime that I am no further forward in getting over him.My day, after seeing him, always goes to shit, and my ongoing crappy insomnia is so much worse now we are under the same sky. I might never sleep again. I’m just so emotionally exhausted by all of this and wish I could fall asleep and wake up when I am over it.“She’s been tired, maybe just on slow-mo. She should take more time to relax.”“Well she better hurry up as they are taking you for your scans and assessment in about five minutes. She’s normally here by now.” Not to mention Dane is due in twenty and I wanted to be long gone.“You don’t need to sta
Hearing Bryan about to out me is all the push I need, not wanting it to seem like I am hiding, and I yank the curtain back to reveal myself. Plastering on a blank expression cool manner and lift my chin a little higher. Eyes straight to Bryan to ensure I don’t stray their way completely, blanking the two figures lingering closely near his bed.Seeing them in my peripheral is enough. The sickening lurch of pain reminds me that it never goes away, even when I stop noticing it as much.“All done and tidy. My mom won’t moan about me putting them in the wrong place.”I catch the slight movement of surprise out of the corner of my eye and the way Hannah slides back to hide behind Dane at seeing me appear. Dane’s head had jerked my way before he quickly averted it, and I caught the subtle gasp from one of them.“Um…Hi, Kayla. You look pretty.” Hannah whimpers like some terrified child who has just come face to face with the grumpy old witch of the village. Fake compliments to try and befrien