“Are you okay? You are really distracted and haven’t heard a word I have said for the last ten minutes.” Elisa brings me back to earth with a bump.“What?” I blink at her, pulling my thoughts back to the present, and look around, confused that I must have zoned out. The sun is beating down on us in this rare deserted patch of surf and sand. We’re having a very rare day of fun and downtime at the beach, and my head was a million miles away.“Earth calling Koala….. you have been like a zombie all morning.”“I’m sorry, it’s just….”Just what?That since yesterday, I have been fixated on my stupid brother and churning over every moment and interaction we have had all year to examine them and see if I do, in fact, have a crush on him. Picking apart my reactions to him and replaying yesterday like a stuck record. It’s totally screwing with my head.“Just…” Elisa tries to coax the end of my sentence out of me, staring at me with puppy dog eyes and the sweetest expression, and I crumple and b
“No… sit own, Elisa. Fuck off, Dane. Keep out of this. We were already here, and I have no reason to get up just because she demanded it…. You have no right to tell us to leave…..”“Pretty sure he just did, honey,” Charmaine smirks, and Alice does too, both eyeing me up like the cat who got the cream and my face flames. All thoughts of confusion and possible crushing on this asshole die a death at his obnoxious feet, and I know this will only escalate with the rearing of wounded pride and crushing pain in my chest.Dane glares at me, his gaze locked on mine in an unflinching show of dislike as though trying to intimidate me into leaving. Standing there like some thug boy, shielding those two bitches and acting like I’m an outsider who came to cause trouble.My throat constricts, and I have to swallow hard to get my saliva down, hands sweaty from whatever this is.Elisa is right.In all the years we have known one another, Dane always steps in and shields me when things happen at schoo
As I pull out our class notes, I slide into my seat, eyes on my bag in front of me. Overly aware of students shuffling in, I refuse to look up and watch for the one person I don’t want to see. I’m uptight, irritated, and trying not to count down the seconds he walks in. I have managed to avoid Dane in other shared classes all day and pretended he doesn’t exist, but I can’t in this one. He has to sit and work with me, and I am so not over yesterday at all. I am still nursing a lot of bruised feelings, confused emotions, and a simmering grudge, and the last thing I need is more drama.Elisa yawns, balling her fist in her mouth and slumps down beside me with a gentle thud on her desk. Her body heavy, nestling her head on her arm dramatically and staring up at me with those cute puppy dog eyes. She looks so done with today too.“I’m so tired. We should have gone to sleep earlier.” She lets out a long exhale. Her figure slumped more with every passing second.“We ate too much sugar to sl
This library is the quieter of the three we have in school and is only manned by one staff member. It’s mainly used for class releases like we are doing, not the busy ground floor catch-all where they keep most of the school's books. This one is more like a computer lab with a few bookshelves.I pick a table in the far corner, the most distant from the door, next to a row of four computers with their secluded desks. We can browse the net if needed, but no one will bother us over here.“Ummm.” Elisa draws my attention with a weird noise and then subtly waves her finger at the door behind where I have sat, and I automatically turn to see what she’s spotted.Tyler walks in with one of the girls Charmaine sits with normally while Dane wanders in behind, holding Charmaine's hand as they peruse the room to look for a seat. Charmaine is all push-up cleavage and the shortest of skirts, practically dry-humping his side. The sight of them that way winds me, and I swallow down a heaving lump tha
I walk up the steps after parking my car in our sweeping drive, focused on finding my house keys when I hear the telltale thrum of Dane’s bike pulling up into his spot behind me. I don’t turn to see his black deathtrap sleek machine pulling up, but I would never mistake that awful sound.For once, he’s come home directly from school at the same time as me, and I stiffen and ignore it. I wonder why he’s broken his daily habit of taking off with Tyler after class and instead decided to grace me with his presence. I locate my keys, open the front door and shove inside the heavy oak, knowing the house is empty. He knows it too, as it’s not like we hadn’t been told.We are all alone. Our parents work late almost daily, and today is Monique's scheduled day off so she can see her sister on her birthday. She reminded us before she left this morning at breakfast, we had to make our own dinner, and my parents would be eating out.I’m tired, so I plan to cook, do my homework, shower, and have an
“Stay still and be quiet. If you want it to blister and hurt, then fine… if you don’t shut up and let me help.” His arms around me have me caged, and I admit defeat and stop fighting him.“Dane?” Charmaine's whiny voice breaks in, and it’s obvious she does not like how he’s pandering over me. I don’t think I would like to see my boyfriend this way over another girl. “I’m sure she can manage fine. Our food is coming. Let’s go upstairs.”“In a second.” He dismisses her with a low tone, still honed in on holding me captive, and I close my eyes and try to regulate my body and breathing. He’s got me hot and panicky, aware of every inch of him around me, and pressed in so tight I can feel what he has in his pants between my butt cheeks.How he cannot judge how weird and inappropriate this is, is beyond me. I am stiff and afraid to move because I can clearly feel every lump, bump, and muscle.Do dudes have no self-awareness? They walk around with that on the front of their bodies and lean it
Elisa and I stroll along the upper walkway above the school's main hall as we head for the study rooms, casually linked arms as the day is almost over, and we're both tired. We have a free period to do as we please for nearly an hour, and we decided to compile everything for the English essay to finish it. Once it’s done, I can stop sitting with Dane and won’t have to keep interacting anymore.Tyler and Dane, at some point, contacted some of our interviewees and got a lot of good quotes, so all that is left is to write up the sections we took and give them to Tyler to add to theirs. Dane has actually been contributing in small ways, which is so unlike him, so my decision to extract him from the credits has died a silent death. Especially after taking care of me yesterday.I rub my bandaged hand as I think of him, nowhere near as sore as it was, and carry on walking behind my girl. A few more days of the gel, and it won’t leave a single mark, and thanks to his instant care, it hasn’t g
There’s no way it can be Charmaine, as she has alone made out with half the boys in our year this semester. He’s probably asking himself who he grabbed in the dark. I swallow hard, nervous fear hitting me low in the stomach as I realize he might now go absolutely ape shit when he figures out who he was just making out with. He’s still close enough that his warm breath is fanning my mouth and chin, but his breathing has slowed and become almost non-existent as he thinks and questions internally.I should say something, but I am rendered mute and paralyzed by a sense of ‘I shouldn’t have kissed him back.’ This was so dumb. I know he is going to go crazy at me after the kitchen incident.My face flames, his hand on my throat slides up to my jaw and becomes searching fingers as he traces my cheek, then eyebrow, and I am assuming he can tell by touch this is not Charmaine's face. He’s trying to figure out if he’s imagining it and is probably confused about who else would be in here with hi
I nod, beaming brightly and gazing around our home for the next few years. We only moved in a couple of months ago after a hellish separation, living in segregated dorms. We had roommates who were not great and time spent together was minimal given we were separated across a huge campus and we both had curfews. Long hours studying and little hours being together had made me really miserable. I missed sleeping beside Dane more than anything, and then my dad surprised us on Dane’s birthday with the keys to this place. Bryan coughed up the money to furnish it. A five-minute walk to school for us both and a reunion we both badly needed.One thing my parents did agree on, Dane’s, too, was that throughout our college years, we would not work to support ourselves. They wanted our full attention on study, so they paid our way, gave us allowances, and keep us in a life we were accustomed to while living at home. We’re spoiled, and now we get to be spoiled together.In the first months of coll
FinaleThree years later“You all packed?” Dane wanders in from the lounge to our bedroom where I am zipping up my case, having just finished. Looking rested and chill, given it’s day one of our break from classes.“Yup. You can take it to the car.”“Did you bring warm clothes for London? It’ll be freezing compared to Florida. Bring a jacket, too.”“I listened to you the first time. Everything is in there…that’s why I have such a big case.” I smile, gazing at the handsomeness of my beloved as he slides my luggage from the bed, leaning in to kiss me on the temple. Despite it being a daily occurrence and my having his affection for more than three years now, he still gives me heart flutters anytime he touches me. I almost melt with the gooey warmth of his smile and the attention he gives me.I guess now we attend different lectures all day, every day, I don’t see him as much as I used to, and it makes me long for him more.“Good girl.” He drops it to the floor, extends the handle as he
Dane brushes himself down with a grimace even though she didn’t touch him and turns our way before hitting me with a bright, sexy smile, and he closes the gap between us. Forgetting all about that shrew.“Miss me? Look, such a good boy all enrolled back in school .” he holds up his forms with glee as though serving me some great achievement certificate, and I reach up and ruffle his hair before patting his head.“Such a good boy. I’ll reward you later.”“You can reward me now…teacher still ain't here.” Dane winks, leaning in as though he plans on kissing me and I shove him off and move around my desk to put distance between us. It’s one thing announcing your status but yet another entirely to make out while half the class is openly gawping at Dane for his sudden return.“Behave,” I warn and lean out to pat his cheek, seeing as he looks like a sulky child now.There's chatter around us, and I hear his name mentioned subtly as Charmaigne charges back in, looking ferocious as hell. Her m
“You are very energetic and happy today? Is it because your boyfriend is returning?” I tease Tyler as he almost bounces into the row behind us in the first class of the week. Throwing his bag down and grabbing Elisa by the head to plant a dramatic kiss right on her crown. I spent the last few days at home settling Bryan in and getting used to the new strained dynamic at home, and I am glad to be back here. As nice as it was to have so much time home and spend a lot of it with Dane, it still felt like we were walking on eggshells around my mom, and it was taking a mental toll. Life is adjusting, though, and my mom really is keeping her mouth shut, even when she walks in on us, cuddling or kissing.“He’s been so excited; it’s actually cute… can’t deny the bromance is strong in those two, and I pale in comparison.” Elisa pipes in, grinning back at him with her funny dig over the chair she’s half-turned in, and he leans forward to peck her on the tip of her nose.“Bestie love does not ev
“We can go to my study…Dane, just Kayla.” She adds as though he will follow and he probably was going to, but she’s right. Something started between her and I and should be resolved that way. Dane has been shielding me too much lately because of my inability to face more drama. I need to put my big girl panties back on. Her and Dane have nothing to say to one another anyway, and he will only put her on the defensive, which I want to avoid.“I’ll be close by….just yell if you need me…… Very close by.” Dane doesn’t lower his voice; instead gets louder with his warning tone, making it obvious to my mom that he doesn’t trust her, and I pat his arm to get him to release me.I slide out of his arms and follow my mom out of the kitchen, across the hall, and into the study without looking back, even though I can feel all their eyes follow me out. Already, my insides are like a washing machine because I do not know what exactly she intends to say to me.My mom is being weirdly quiet, too, and
“You four are making me feel chronically single.” Hannah huffs, pushing the cans of soda across the breakfast bar towards Elisa as Tyler opens up some bags of chips for us to share. We have a stack of pizza boxes waiting to dive into and a plan to darken the nook to spend the day eating junk and watching movies. Dane and I are too tired for anything else and feel like we are on some emotional comedown after a month of hell.“What happened to your Korean boyfriend? That distance could not separate you from?” Dane chimes in with obvious sarcasm oozing, while leaning into me from behind to deposit the dip we made. It’s clear to me that teasing Hannah is a full-time occupation when they are in the same room. She really is like his annoying younger sister, even if she is our age.“I am devoted to Min Yoongi, but I would like to experience a present boyfriend. Someone I can touch and laugh with.” Hannah sulks slightly, clearly regretting her life choices.“I can’t imagine anyone would want
My Dad never calls me, rarely picks mine up, and never texts either. So, seeing it now, flashing so invasively on my phone is enough to make my heart thud through my chest painfully.“Do you want me to give you space to take it?” Dane interrupts my obvious inability to move, breaking the spell it’s cast over me.“No…stay!” A sense of panic grips my stomach and throat, and the sudden cold wash of nerves sobers my good mood. Instantly afraid of what he is calling me for even though, logically, I know.My mom must have called him, or Bryan, at least.Maybe he wants to clarify…I don’t even know.“Are you going to answer it or keep staring at it?” Dane interrupts the deer in the headlight motion of me holding it at half arm’s length, and I blink at it, then him, and shake my head.“Do you need me to do it?”“I don’t know.” I sound terrified. I don’t think I have it in me to answer the call. There is so much grey area when it comes to my dad. So many times I have been hurt by him that faci
“Well, this is depressing.” Dane wheels his case into his old barren bedroom, gazing around at the emptiness even though all his furniture is still there. “It feels like someone else's room.”All the personality is gone without his things in here, and it smells like a fresh, floral hotel, thanks to Monique. His art, posters, pictures, trinkets and books are all gone, leaving empty walls, shelves, and surfaces where he used to have such an array of masculine things, more so after he moved in here permanently and brought it all from his mom’s house.“Imagine how it made me feel watching it get this way….you’re an ass.” I throw him a mock glare and get a kiss blown back at me.“I wanted you to miss me.” He winks and goes back to his case. In a happy mood ever since we started packing to come here.I gaze around, infected by his happiness, and yet sigh at the memories of being in here without him.Even the lack of his laundry tossed on the floor somehow makes this place impersonal. The be
“There’s a lot that this test result will change….I know now is probably not the best time to talk about where we go from here. You probably need to process it the same way we did, but I want you to know….I'm not going back to the UK. I’ll sort it out myself. Enroll back in school, find somewhere to stay, maybe with Tyler….” Dane sounds so far removed from the immature rebel of months ago who was forever making my life hell and living stupidly. He sounds like this experience has aged him so much.He has a sensible head on, his eyes set on the future and he’s not reacting one ounce to my mom. It’s like she no longer has any affect on him.“You’ll move back home, there is no argument in that. I’ll call the school and arrange for you to go in and re-enroll. I’ll call your mom and explain things. Don’t worry about anything. I told you, didn’t I… always your home and whenever you wanted to come back.”For being the fragile one here, Bryan seems to be the one most resigned and okay with thi