Chapter Three

It should be almost a minute now, but I'm sure I've lost track of time just standing here and waiting for the man in the shadows to at least speak.

I watch him reach down and adjust his already perfectly tailored cuffs. 

"Are you waiting for me to call you over or that fall had you paralyzed?" His voice comes out quietly but strict and firm.

"B-But, you didn't call m--" I stutter in a state of fear that I've never experienced before but he doesn't let me finish.

"They didn't think your name was of importance so I'm guessing neither are you." He says in that quiet, strict tone.

"Excuse me?" I say 

"Get over here and do what I'm paying for, already."

"I don't even have the slightest idea of what is going on, and you just sit there...demanding and ridiculing--"

He doesn't let me finish but just waved his hand at the hefty guard. He walks over to me and I half expect him to pick me up over his shoulder and swing me out the door.

But instead, he walks over to the telephone behind me and I watch him as he starts dialing.

Then Fred's last warning comes back to me,

"Don't mess this up."

"Wait!" I blurt out, fear and submission taking over. I already stood the risk of losing my job earlier. I can't afford to waste this opportunity, no matter how much I want to gather the rest of what's left of my dignity and run.

The guard pauses, staring at the man who I'm sure has his eyes in me.

"I...I'm sorry." I say.

Silence follows afterward and I'm sure I'm the only one feeling so much pressure here.

"Not sorry enough." He says almost too quietly and waves his hand at the guard again.

He resumed dialing and complete fear grips me. 

"No, please. I'm sorry! I shouldn't have spoken like that." I exclaim and practically dash to his front.

Up close now, I can see his bright, cold blue eyes staring up at me, in such an intimidating manner that I cower a little.

"So you admit that you're not important." He says and I frown but his facial expression does not change a bit and he just stares at me, waiting.

"I...." I don't know how to answer this question. One way or another I stand to lose something. If I say yes, I would lose the little dignity I'd fought too hard to keep. 

And if I said no.....I'd lose my job.

The place is eerily quiet and I can feel him enjoying every bit of this...of making me the determinant of my fate but with him in control.

I don't know how long I stand in his front, trying to calculate how I ended up here...how I was at the point of cowering all for the sake of my promise.

The promise I must keep. 

I had already lost right from becoming a stripper. He is just taking advantage of it.

He doesn't say anything but simply raises his left hand to look at his watch which seems to glimmer in the dark.

I watch as he raises his hand, ready to wave it at the guard again,....so I just submit.

"Yes." I say, almost like a whisper.

"Yes, what?" 

"Yes,....I...I admit that...that I'm not important." I say and he drops his hand.

"Good. Now, I called you specifically for a lapdance. Make it good." He says and digs out a small wad of cash which he throws at me and I subconsciously catch it.

Hundred dollar bills.

It should be up to two thousand dollars...for a lapdance.

"This is--"

"Not a time to start salivating over the money. Running out of patience here." He says coldly and I wedge the money on the strap of my panties out of habit before I advance him.

His hand comes up immediately, palm first, stopping me.

"Topless." He says and I can feel the blood drain from my face. 

This isn't happening.

This can't be happening.

Giving a topless lapdance has always been one thing I'm good at avoiding. It's bad enough that I dance half-naked here every night, and I lose a little bit of self-worth when a stranger spanks my behind.

But a topless lapdance was the one thing I could proudly claim I hadn't done, the one thing that could prove I had a little self-worth. 

But this man...this monster is more than determined to reduce me to a meaningless being.

And he likes it.

I want to beg. I have to beg. I'd crawl and cry if he wishes because I just can't do it.

"Please, I can't--"

"You can't or you won't? Because you don't have a choice. Saying you can't means you're physically unable to do so, which is the worst excuse you can come up with. Saying you won't is just ridiculous because you're a stripper. You strip dance. Meaning you strip while dancing. Meaning it's your job. So you saying that you can't means you don't want to do your job. So you want to lose your job? Is that what you're saying?" His calm, calculated voice bores holes in my excuse and I feel like an idiot standing here.

I'm positive if I utter one more word he'd make me lose more than just my job.

And I can't. He just gave me more than a thousand dollars for a lapdance and that will go more than a long way for Ty and me.

I want to defend myself, use something against him at least but I know I've already lost. 

The minute he stopped me from losing my job, I'd lost.

And the one thing that I had against the whole judgemental world would be taken from me now...leaving me worthless.

"While we're young." He says and I drop my gaze as I move my shaking hands behind and unclasp my bra. The strapless thing falls off and he smiles.

The slightest, smallest curve at the left corner of his lips, making it look more like a smirk than a smile.

There is a sudden blast of music from the back where the guard is standing but I don't even care anymore. I just want to do this and get the hell out of here.

I cover the remaining space between us and straddle him with my back to him. I have never given a lapdance to anyone in a suit and suddenly I feel nasty, disgusted with myself because, in this dark room, I'm practically naked grinding and pleasuring a man well dressed and fully clothed.

I feel like a mistress. 

He doesn't do anything like a normal person receiving a lapdance would. He's not grabbing my waist or breast or pressing himself against me.

I don't know how long I've had my back to him before I switch my position and face him now while practically working my body on him. His blue eyes are dark, like a navy blue, and planted on my face but apart from that his facial expression is blank. 

With his dark gaze on me, I don't feel safe even with my mask on so I close my eyes and continue, all the while counting the seconds for the song to be over.

One song, one lapdance. That is the rule.

Then I'm out of here.

His warm breath is suddenly on my ear and before I can react, he whispers, 

"Take your mask off." 

The music is loud but I hear him anyway and the request is shocking enough that I jump away from his body.

"No." I say upfront, sick of his demanding and show of power. This was the limit, the one reason Tyler wasn't yanking me out of this club every day. So far as I kept my identity a secret, he could cope with it. Plus he had tons of his friends from college coming to this club, if any of them were to see me here, Ty's college life would be ruined. 

The man in the suit is quiet and he just reaches into his suit jacket, pulls out another wad of cash, and throws it at me. I don't react and the money hits me on the waist and falls to the floor.

"Take it off." He repeats and as I stare down at the money, my anger surges and spills over.

"How dare you? Do you think money is my weakness? Do I look like a dog to you that does tricks for treats?!"

"Not yet, but you will. Unless you want to lose your job. So take it off."

His audacity is infuriating and I let my anger control my actions. In one swift move, I move my hand to smack him but my hand is caught midway with a firm hold.

His guard is looking down at me while grasping my arm and he suddenly hoists me up and over his shoulder.

"Put me down! Stop it, let me go!" I scream and I don't know what he tells his guard but the hefty man drops me to the ground. 

Tears are gushing down my eyes now and I cover myself with my hands, crying.

"I want to get out of here. I don't want your money, just let me leave." I say, eyes planted to the ground with shame and embarrassment. Never have I felt so belittled, unimportant, and worthless. 

To my surprise, I hear the heavy door unlock and I quickly slip on my bra and dash out of the room.

I don't even bother to change, I just take off my heels and slip on a long black coat before I run out of the building.

Fred is at the back when I rush out and he looks at me,

"Jensen what the hell?--"

"I quit." I spit out and run past him and I don't stop running until I'm in the elevator of the apartment building. 

The minute it gets to the 4th floor, I rush to the door and bang on it, tears blurring my vision and pouring down my face.

The door swings open and of course Tyler is standing there, wide awake. His facial expression is in full shock when he sees me.

"Oh my God, Marcy? What happened?" He asks but pulls me in any way and I grab him like life support, burying my face and the shame in his chest as he shuts the door and holds me close.

I don't even have the guts to spill out what just happened and I let Tyler console me even though I can tell he is furious from the way he is breathing so fast.

He'd burn up the club in an instant if I tell him.

I don't know how long I stay crying on him before exhaustion takes over and I'm asleep.

****

The sound of clattering wakes me up and I squint a little before I realize I'm in Tyler's room and I'm also wearing his t-shirt. 

"Ty?" I murmur, then climb out of his bed and make my way out of his room.

There is a stack of waffles on a plate with sliced berries and maple syrup. Ty is still nowhere to be found but I grab a fork anyway and begin to wolf down the waffles.

The minute I grab milk from the fridge, Tyler walks into the apartment with an empty laundry basket. He looks fully dressed for school but his expression is blank.

"You're up. Good." He says and walks over then sits opposite me.

"What?" I ask pouring milk into a glass when Tyler drops a wad of cash on the table.

I stare at the money and frown.

"Where did you get all this money from?" I ask.

"From your stripping gear. You know, the one you still had on when you came home crying last night. Want to explain what happened?" He says and I suddenly recollect every single detail from last night.

I can suddenly feel my morning giddiness fade and I suddenly lose appetite.

"Nothing happened." I say and get up, needing to shower suddenly.

"No way. You're not leaving." Ty says and he is in my front instantly.

"Do you know how terrified you looked last night? I couldn't sleep, couldn't help thinking of all the bad things that could happen to you, and then to top it off, you had 1800 dollars strapped to your waist!"

"It doesn't matter, okay? Can we please just let it go?"

"No! Tell me, Marcy, did they hurt you? Did they force you to do something? What the hell happened?" 

"Nothing!" I yell, wishing he'd drop it. Recalling last night's event was not on my morning agenda.

"Nothing serious, okay? I was going to lose my job and then he made them keep me and he made me beg and I felt so...." 

I can't complete the sentence and I just drop my gaze to the floor.

"Who?" Ty demands. 

"Tell me, who the hell did that to you? I swear to God I'll tear him limb from limb." Tyler says, practically through clenched teeth.

"No. It doesn't matter anymore anyway. I quit last night, and honestly, I just want to take a long shower and start searching for another job."

Tyler is giving me a blank stare.

"You quit?" He asks and I nod, knowing he was probably doing a happy dance on the inside. 

"You were right about the whole stripping thing. I need a change from it, something decent with good pay." I say and Tyler smiles.

"I bought some newspapers yesterday with lots of job vacancies and--"

"Tyler. I'll do the job search. You should be in school." I say and yank the empty basket from his hand.

His expression is back to worried.

"Marcy--"

"Go. I'm fine and I promise to pick a good one this time." I say and he grabs his bag off the couch.

He heads for the door but then pauses and turns back to me and pulls me into a hug.

"I'm sorry I wasn't there for you yesterday. I love you." He says and plants a kiss on my forehead before leaving.

I sigh and sit back on the breakfast stool, not exactly in the mood to start job hunting.

My phone buzzes in my bag from last night and I grab it.

Maya: Finally got a break. Can we meet?

Me: Yes. Coffee at noon. I have so much to tell you.

Perfect timing. At least for today,  I just want to be a normal person talking over coffee and seeking more than the usual comfort.

And who else but Maya?