Doomed To A Sad Life

Jamil

There is a saying that goes like this, "what an elder sees that makes him walk around naked, if a child sees such, he would lose his entire essence." This saying rang in my mind over and over as I watched the Beta fidget in discomfort. I thought to myself that I wouldn't want to face someone or something who could make the Beta this panic-stricken.

I liked to think of myself as a carefree person who couldn't be bothered by burdens such as fear which only added to your problems but in that moment, I couldn't deny that I felt a huge blob that tasted an awful lot like fear surge from my abdominal cavity all the way to my oral cavity. The panic was so great that it very nearly crippled me. "There is no escape!" The creature had declared. At the moment, I hadn't thought much of it but now that I saw the man before me, I began to believe that perhaps, there was no escape.

We remained frozen like that for what seemed like an eternity and a half before the Beta blinked and seemed to regain control of himself. He let me go sending me stumbling back as I tried to shake blood back into my limbs.

"You can go now!" The Beta informed, his voice back to its normal, cold quality. Knowing the Beta, I knew that he was probably beating himself up for being such a sissy. I didn't want to go. There were so many things I still wanted to find out about but something about the stiff manner in which the Beta held himself informed me that he wouldn't be saying anything else. Not tonight, at least. I bowed before stumbling out of the room.

"And Jamil?" He called, stopping me at the door. "Be careful." Two words but I could feel that they were extremely laden with meaning. I bowed again as I exited.

I didn't know I had been holding my breath until I got out of the palace and the cold wind hit my hot skin. I shivered, less from cold than from my internal troubles. I couldn't shake the memory of the Beta's reaction at the mention of the name. "Blood knight." I muttered the name over and over in my mind and mouth, feeling that I should know the name but whatever information I was searching for seemed to be perfectly comfortable with hiding out in the shadows. Speaking of shadows, I was thinking about going for a run in the woods when I saw Ulo in the distance. He was standing against a tree and was so perfectly still that I probably wouldn't have noticed him if not for my sharp eyes.

For a moment, I considered ignoring him. That would be the best course of action after what had happened earlier, even more so since I could see that he wasn't in a much better mood now but then again, we wouldn't have been friends for so long if I didn't know my friend.

"Hey, buddy!" I called. Up close, I could see that he had his arms tucked over his chest and had his eyes closed. He either did not hear or decided not to respond. I chose to go with the first.

"Ulo!" I called more insistently. His eyes snapped open as he glared at me, looking like he was trying to figure out what to do between tearing my face open or ripping my limbs off. "Come on, man! It's just me." I raised my arms in a surrender.

He didn't seem to like the idea of me any better than whatever stranger he thought had disturbed him but at least, I didn't feel any pain in my gut. Ulo was usually calm but he could be painfully vicious when he was mad. I preferred to avoid that.

"What do you want?" He snapped but my heart twisted as underneath all the bravado and anger, I heard the timid cry of a child who had been hurt. Knowing Ulo, I knew that any direct sympathy would only serve to make him withdraw more into himself so I decided on a different path instead.

"The Beta asked after you." I informed. His eyes flashed just before he shut them and went back to resting against the tree. "Want to go for a run?" I offered.

He remained still for a moment then opened his eyes and looked at me from head to toe. I followed his gaze and smiled. "I will just go change." I was dressed in the billowing purple garments that I reserved for important meetings like tonight. They were good for making an impression, not so good for running through the woods. He didn't respond but I had a feeling that he was smiling.

I made my way back to the quarters and was about to open my door when my ears picked up sobbing in the garden. I sighed in exhaustion wondering if today was dedicated to some god or goddess of mourning. I pushed changing to later as I made my way to the open back door. I had barely reached the door when I saw the source of the tears and whimpers.

"Blaire?" I called uncertainly as I picked my way toward her. Seeing me, she picked up a part of the blue cloth that was draped over her shoulders and back and used it to daub at her face. "What's going on?" I asked softly as I knelt before her and raised her jaw so she was looking directly at me. Her lips trembled as well as her entire body as she hiccuped. Stray warm tears landed on my hand.

"I'm a horrible person." She whimpered.

"What?" I sputtered, stunned.

"I'm a terrible person. I always manage to hurt all those that are around me. Maybe that is why I have been doomed to a sad life."