PaigeI nuzzled into Tom’s chest, inhaling cinnamon to keep me grounded in yet another strange bed. He was so warm, so steady. Part of me thought I could sleep anywhere with my head on his chest. And his arm around me didn’t hurt either. My sweatshirt had rucked up a little, exposing a thin sliver of skin, and his pinkie finger rested against it. After the night we’d had, the way he looked at me, I couldn’t pull my mind away from that sliver. My pulse beat in the skin there.Slowly, half-believing I was actually doing this, I twisted under the sheets to push my sweatshirt up further and expose more of myself. Tom’s hand moved automatically to cover the new skin. His pinkie now stopped just below my breast, reminding me I’d decided to go to bed without a bra for the first time since my escape. I glanced up at him and found his eyes closed. Could he really be asleep? His massive hand burned into my ribcage and down between my thighs. I ached.Fuck it.“Tom,” I whispered.He blinked slow
PaigeI pressed my lips to Tom’s with all the fire of the dream I’d just left. Want ached between my legs. After a moment, he began kissing me back, moving in time with my mouth, but his hands sat dead at his sides, where they’d been since I’d woken up. The part of me that had burned into desire wanted to lean back and scream at him. Why wouldn’t he touch me? Didn’t he want me? In the dream—dreams, if I was being honest—Tom wasn’t afraid as soon as I made it clear I wanted him. And I very, very much did.Against my hip, through the blankets, I felt him start to harden. He wanted me. I knew he wanted me.“You can touch me,” I whispered.I expected him to move like I’d flipped a switch, but slowly, gently, he ran one hand up my side. Over my sweatshirt. I closed my eyes and dropped my mouth back to his to try to kiss him into action.In the dark, his hand belonged to someone else. The room transformed. I was somewhere small, and dark, and strange, and my body ached.I blinked and pulled
TommasoOn shaky legs, I stepped off the plane back in London. Killian’s new captain, Amelia, was good, but I’d never get used to that.“Need a few hours to refuel,” Amelia said. “Could be off as early as noon?”I laughed. “Why don’t we call it three? I need a second to catch my breath, and we need to pack up.”Paige squeezed my hand. “Three sounds good.”I smiled down at her, and we piled into yet another hired car to take us back to the hotel. She sat near me on the bench seat, just close enough that I couldn’t help thinking about the way she attached herself to me in the bed in Paris, the undulating rhythm of her hips against me as she slept. Anything I imagined after I caught her that night in Philly had been a pale imitation of the real thing. I’d been playing those high whimpers of hers, the soft gasp of my name, and the way she grabbed tighter, every day since.And I might have to keep doing just that for the rest of my days. Despite the fact that she’d kissed me, she’d frozen
PaigeA few hours into our flight, the sun had long since set, and stars shone off puffy clouds. I took a deep breath. I’d done it. I’d gone somewhere other than Tom’s house and therapy. I’d seen McKenna. Maybe we could be friends on the outside someday, when she stopped talking about everything like that, but for now, I knew we’d be a little distant. And I’d realized I loved Tom, told him at the top of the Eiffel Tower and everything. I hadn’t even been to therapy in three days, my longest break since my first session. Things were starting to feel…finished. “What will we do when we get home?” I asked quietly.Tom stirred from paging through a book while his eyelids drooped and yawned. “Unpack?”I laughed. “I mean, we got McKenna out. We made sure she’s actually okay and not some elaborate hologram that Edward concocted. What’s the next step in our long-term plan?”“We”s and “our”s had started building up in my sentences since I’d told Tom I loved him. Since he’d promised he wouldn’t
TommasoPaige and I arrived home in the dead of night, dropped into our separate beds, and struggled through jetlag until my phone vibrated, informing me I’d made the dumbass call to schedule a meeting to talk about Tony for the day after we returned. Silently, I held up the notification to Paige on a stool next to me at the breakfast bar.“So, you have to go?” She poked at her waffles.“So, we both do.” I stood with a groan. “It’s about Tony.”“Oh.” She brightened a little and followed me to my office.I struggled to swallow my yawns as my guys filed in and took their seats. Lyle, Stan, Teddy, and Carp, the men who were quickly becoming my inner circle.“So.” I tried to hide a stretch. “Tony. What do we have? I want to move fast.”“My mole finally got an in,” Stan said. “The long and short of it is that Tony’s middle management. He doesn’t procure; he doesn’t receive. Other people’s shipments just go through him.”“And I don’t know all of where they’re going, but somebody had heard h
PaigeI added the third image to the shared folder Lyle sent me and stretched. The AI software was advanced, but it took a lot of human involvement to actually produce something that wouldn’t throw up every red flag in the book. In some ways, I appreciated that for the job security it leant me. In others…I generated a new face—dark haired, this time, and dark-eyed—and the woman in the picture stared back at me placidly. Just the same as the first three. Too healthy. Not scared enough. I opened up my photo editor and exported the image. I looked away to grab my stylus, and when I looked back, Katie’s dark eyes loomed out of the page.Okay. I could start with the cheeks. I zoomed in on a patch of strangely lighted skin and began editing. When I blinked, the skin became mine, gaunt and pallid. I stared at the curl of dark hair at the edge of the frame until the certainty I would see my own face when I zoomed out melted away. These were fictional pictures, fictional women.I thinned out
TommasoBetween bursts of planning Tony’s demise, I wandered up to Paige’s room. No particular reason, except that after our trip to London, having her out of arm’s reach made me a little uneasy. Her door was slightly cracked when I walked up to it, and I peeked in.She had pulled her hair up into a messy bun and tucked one knee into her chest, yet another of the oversized sweaters she favored pushed up to her elbows. Her tablet sat on her lap, and she glanced between it and the screen in front of her, displaying a bold, modern logo. Her tongue poked out of the corner of her mouth.My heart thudded unevenly. She was so goddamn beautiful.She started to turn, and I danced back out of the door. I didn’t want to distract her, make her lose her train of thought. Through the open door, I heard her sigh. I could almost imagine her shaking her head and returning to her work. I began heading back down to my office.Paige was beautiful, but if she was only beautiful, I would’ve been satisfied
PaigeI folded my legs underneath me on Lauren’s bright blue couch and scratched Francis’s head. It felt like I hadn’t been here in a month, but I’d only missed one session.“So, London?” Lauren said.“And Paris,” I replied. “For a night.”She hummed. “How was it?”“It was—” The answer caught in my throat, too bulky to possibly escape. One word, a sentence, a whole therapy session couldn’t sum up how it had been. It had been everything and nothing at all. My whole world was different, and I didn’t know if anything had changed.“Fair enough.” She smiled. “Let’s start smaller. You saw McKenna, right?”“I did.” I sank my fingers deeper into Francis’s fur. “And she seemed good. I mean, not good. She looked like someone had run her through a woodchipper. But”—I shook my head—“she seemed good with everything?”Lauren frowned. “What does that mean?”“Like, she wouldn’t stop talking about it.” I shrugged. “And always with the same excitement she had when saying hi or talking about her family.
PaigeI stood in the vestibule outside of the chapel, clutching my flowers, my heart hammering in my chest. Organ music belted through the doors, and I was just waiting for my cue.We all were. My two bridesmaids, in simple maroon dresses, stood ahead of me. Like she could feel my eyes, Lauren turned back and winked. I smiled. The dress looked spectacular on her, and I’d promised up and down that Tom would invite enough handsome men for her to go home with a date. This, of course, had been complicated by Tom choosing Killian and Stan as his two groomsmen. While I liked the older man, and he kept Lauren laughing, I didn’t exactly see the two of them as a couple.Mom stepped up next to me with a smile. Her mother-of-the-bride dress, a deep burgundy gown with gold accents, caught the light and sent it dancing. “Are you excited?”I inhaled sharply. “I kind of can’t stop thinking about the seating chart for the reception. Who have I become?”She laughed. “Your father.”Tears beaded in my e
KillianI sat behind my desk and looked out over my men. Tommaso took his usual seat. Adrian hovered in the corner like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself yet, just like he had at the beginning. Patrick was still laughing about spilling his wine. Just like old times. I stood and started pouring everyone drinks.“So,” I said, “do you have an update on the warehouses, Adrian?”He started toward my desk, then paused. An odd moment passed. It wasn’t really my desk anymore. I’d left the hunk of wood behind because I had no need for it on the island, and he’d loaded it down with computers in my absence. Despite that, I’d never seen anyone sit behind it but my father besides me.I offered Adrian a drink. “Sit.”He nodded. “Didn’t want to step on your toes. The situation is pretty simple, all told, but I can tell there’s a certain amount of grace I’m supposed to be handling this foreman with, and I don’t—”Tommaso joined me at the bar to pour. “Do you remember that foreman in the so
PaigeI tucked my arm through Tom’s and straightened my long, floral romper. He kissed me on the cheek, then knocked on the door. Joyce swung it open.“Hello!” She welcomed us both in with hugs. “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci are in the drawing room. Please, come in.”We let ourselves be bustled through the door, the wine we’d brought carried off to the kitchen, and our coats taken to some closet somewhere in the mansion. Adrian used it as a base of operations when Killian and Sera weren’t home, so I’d been here a few times since the wedding, but I’d never felt comfortable here. Finally, we were led to the closed doors of the drawing room, and Tom opened them with a smile.Inside, we found not only “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci,” but also Olivia and Patrick, Adrian and Penny—who still wouldn’t even talk about their dance at the wedding—and Sera’s mother and brother, as well as Lauren. Sera leapt up to greet us, and Killian followed a few paces behind. I threw myself into the hug just as much as Sera did—I
SeraI folded a T-shirt and put it into Killian’s suitcase. “Are you sure we need to leave so soon?”He chuckled and took the T-shirt back out, then replaced it with a suit shirt. “Very, unfortunately. Adrian is in the middle of a difficult situation with one of the warehouses, and he needs a steady hand to guide him through.”My stomach churned at the thought of leaving the villa. We’d only been here for a couple of months, and we’d promised everyone we’d return, but dammit, I wasn’t ready yet. Lazing around the villa and having sex whenever the mood took us was way too fun to stop after only a few months.“But we’ll be back soon, right?” I asked like I didn’t already know.“Cara mia.” Killian took my hands. “What is happening in that head of yours?”I sighed. “I don’t know. The thought of leaving just make me kind of sick. We just got away from all that. I don’t want to be scared again.”He studied me for a long moment. “You do look a little pale. How sick is this making you exactly
PaigeI squeezed Tom’s hand in the car on the way to the airport.“Sad to be leaving?” he asked.I smiled. “Always. It’s so magical here.”He laughed. “Not just saying that because we’ve spent most of the vacation in bed?”I ran my free hand up his leg. “No, we have weekends for that at home.”“Fair enough.” He kissed the back of my hand. “I do like going on these little vacations, though. It’s a nice escape for a few days.”I nodded. I really was going to miss Paris, but I wouldn’t have wanted to stay much longer anyway. Lauren had been texting me updates about the shelter, especially the new one as women settled in. I kept thinking about how much I was missing, how much they needed me there. And I knew Tom was feeling the same. Apparently, Lyle had his sights set on someone new, and Tom was itching to pull the trigger. Anybody else would probably think we were freaks, desperate to leave a luxury vacation to get back to our grueling jobs. But those people didn’t realize just how much
TommasoWhen I told Paige I’d set everything up for another two days in Paris, she’d immediately insisted we spend a day shopping. I put up a cursory front of complaints, but in truth, I was perfectly happy following her from store to store and carrying her bags. Even better, she loved it when I made jokes about some of the worst, frilliest, most French things we came across. She laughed and joined in. For years, I’d heard men complaining about shopping with their girlfriends—fiancées—saying it was the most boring thing in the world, but even if we weren’t laughing up a storm as we paid our way through the most expensive boutiques in Paris, I still would’ve been having a ball. The sun was shining, she kept looking at the ring I’d put on her finger with a soft wonderment I’d never seen in her eyes anymore, and my face hurt from smiling. Paige and I could’ve made a hell of an afternoon out of reading the phone book.“Stop!” she said.I froze, my free hand twitching toward the gun I’d hi
PaigeI didn’t know how long Tom and I lay there, listening to the fireworks and seeing the very top of their arcs through the sliver of windows accessible from the floor. I pillowed my head on his chest and enjoyed the steady beat of his heart. Engaged. The last time I was here, I’d been on the cusp of recovery, just starting to make strides toward the person I was today. Now, I wasn’t done—I didn’t know if there was a done for traumatized people or people in general—but I was so much better, stronger, happier than I had been.The last time Tom and I were in Paris, I’d thrown myself at him and chickened out. As much as I could stay at a private view of the Eiffel Tower, I wanted to show him just how much had changed. Just how much I meant the “yes” that had fallen so easily from my lips. I rolled on top of him.“What do you say we take this back to that hotel room you picked out?”Tom grinned and pulled me down for a kiss. I pressed myself against him, feeling every line of his body.
PaigeI sat across from Tom in an empty, stunning restaurant in the middle of the Eiffel Tower with my head spinning like the three sips of wine I’d had with the appetizer were enough to make me drunk. He’d really rented out the Eiffel Tower. And not one floor, the whole thing. We’d ridden an empty elevator, the two-Michelin-star chef kept coming out to tell us why he’d selected particular dishes based on the information Tom had given him about our preferences, and I couldn’t hear anything but the soft classical music over the speakers. It felt like a dream.Tom took my hand. “So?”“So what?” I asked.“Was the surprise worth it?” He grinned.I looked over his suit, a forest green that brought out his eyes, worn without a tie. His dark curls tumbled into his face. I’d never seen him look so perfectly put together and so casual. He looked…well, he looked exactly like the man I’d fallen in love with. Nothing like the one who’d scared me so badly all those months ago in Cairo.“I get the
TommasoDespite how much I wanted Paige to keep that little black dress on, we had a few hours before the Tower officially emptied out for our use. I talked her into putting on something a little more walkable and keeping the lingerie on. As if to punish me for my restraint, she picked a pair of tiny, wide-legged shorts that showed the tops of the garters attached to her stockings every time she moved and a fitted blouse. I changed and somehow convinced myself to leave the hotel room instead of stripping everything off her and spending the hours in bed.She took my hand as we stepped into the lobby. “I should’ve known. When you plan a surprise, it’s never just one thing. Where are we off to first?”“So nosy.” I smiled.“You’re right, I’ll stop asking.” She slid the room key out of her pocket and fiddled with it for a second, then dropped it. With a small smile, she bent at the waist to pick it up, exposing those garter straps again.I grabbed her waist and hurried her the final few st