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I Can't Love You
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2024-01-19 08:45:35Related chapters
Taken by the Mafia King Cruel And Complicated
SeraSleep lingered just out of reach as I flipped over in bed, curling myself around a pillow. Killian’s abrupt rejection tangled in my grief-stricken brain while I shut my eyes and prayed some semblance of sleep would find me and take me under into a dark, dreamless abyss.Why did he always do this?Being with Killian was like a cruel, complicated dance where the steps changed every time I finally felt confident in them. After the night we’d had together, I felt confident that I’d learned the new version of our same old dance, but now, everything had fallen apart again, leaving me clumsily traipsing around the dance floor unable to find my partner.Every time I got close, he pulled away. I did my damnedest to pry the deepest, most hidden parts of him open just to have him snap them shut again. Every layer of himself involved breaking through another lock. Another layer of iron. I hated it.I hated myself for falling for him. I’d allowed myself to do the one thing that could kill me
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King PB
KillianThe bottle of whiskey sitting across the room on the bar called to me, but I fought the urge, remembering what I’d told Tommaso about sobering up. We needed to have our heads on straight to deal with this. Mindlessly, I drummed my fingers on my desk, staring at the piece of paper we’d found in the warehouse, the one that indicated my worst fear as a mob boss—other than death itself—had become a reality.We had a fucking rat in our family.Adrian had been able to work through the encryptions, finding a massive amount of information about not only me, but other bosses, and this particular paper was proof beyond a shadow of a doubt that none of the troubles we’d been experiencing lately were bad luck or coincidence. They were the very intentional attempts at sabotage orchestrated by the lowest scum on the face of the earth, the man who dared to call me his friend, his boss, and then shove a knife in my back.Cursing under my breath, I lifted the paper to go over it all again, eve
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King The Godmother
SeraI woke up again at ten in the morning, cursing under my breath. I hadn’t meant to sleep so late. As if aware that I’d finally decided to be useful in some capacity today, Olivia bustled through the door with breakfast and a silver carafe of coffee, her hair sticking up on end and dark circles lining her eyes.“Olivia? Are you all right?”“No, I’m exhausted!” She set the tray down on the little table by the window and poured herself a cup of coffee. “I haven’t slept in days.” She downed what I knew to be ridiculously hot coffee in one swallow, grimaced, choked, and then threw herself beside me on the bed.I had to roll out of the way to stop her from landing on me.“Tommaso and Killian have been having me run errands all night. Fetching coffee, fetching food, fetching documents. Fetching, fetching, fetching!” She yawned so widely I heard her jaw crack. “Tommaso just got home again, too. He went to get Pen and the baby.”“They’re here?” Excitement bubbled up inside of me at the tho
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King One Day I'll Let You Loose on the World
KillianMikey’d had a knack for arranging funerals. He always remembered everyone’s mother’s name, and their Nonna, and their favorite school teachers and neighbors. He always knew what restaurants to order catering from and who to talk to about suits to bury our dead in.Now, without him here to do it, I didn’t even know where to begin. Sitting at my desk, I tried to remember who he’d called last time for the flowers. My gaze shifted to the office door and I half expected to see him walk through it in his white sleeveless shirt, carrying on about something Tommaso said, or what Francesco did, or how there was nothing to eat in the kitchen.In a lot of ways, Mikey had been like the annoying little brother I hadn’t realized I’d wanted until he was gone.Grief hung heavy in the house as I pulled myself up and straightened my shirt. I hadn’t slept at all, and my head throbbed from the stitches Enstrom had laced across my forehead the night before.The night before.It felt like a fucking
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King His Favorite Color was Blue
SeraSnow blanketed the ground as I stood in a sea of black with hints of blue, my arms wrapped protectively around baby Michael. Penelope had been adamant that Michael not wear black today. I’d sent Olivia to the mall and had her find a warm navy blue outfit to dress Michael in and wrapped him up in the same shade to protect him against the cold. He slept snuggled against my chest, his cheeks a soft, rosy pink. His mother quietly cried in a chair directly in front of me. Killian sat next to her, his fingers knitted in hers, his eyes downcast. Before us, the casket demanded our attention. Covered in white and red roses, the rich wood had a masculine look that reminded me of Mikey in a way I couldn’t describe.Blue had been Mikey’s favorite color. Penelope’d had her father fetch a ridiculous, practically neon blue suit from their apartment yesterday which he’d brought to the funeral home. Mikey had worn it the day he got married. Penelope laughed when she told me that he’d rented it fr
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King Lady of the House
KillianThree days passed. There was a notable shift in Sera after Mikey’s funeral and what I’d said to her on the front steps. My words had been harsh, but she needed to hear them. None of this was ever a stupid, fruitless game despite her opinions on the mafia as a whole. Maybe Mikey’s death had brought that truth out into the light for her. Maybe she saw things as they were and not as a veiled game of divide and conquer.This lifestyle was a constant game of life and death. If we wanted to live, if I wanted my men and their families to live, I had to continue to protect them by any and all means necessary.This had nothing to do with ego or my moniker. I was the Hand of the Death because I had to be.Sera understood that now.Finally.So, I let it rest and gave Sera space to take care of Penelope. I hung back as she catered to the comfort of the young widow and her baby and oversaw the comings and goings of Penelope and Mikey’s parents to visit and grieve together. Sera probably ha
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King In the Gym with Tommaso
SeraHow long had I been here? How many months? I’d lost track. But I knew my way around the mansion now to the point the winding, seemingly unending hallways no longer felt like a maze of shadows and black marble.I also spent a great deal of time watching the nurses who tended to Killian’s mother. I found where her rooms were and avoided the area. I never traveled to that wing of the house or put myself in the position to run into the maids and nurses whose loyalties lie with Mrs. Ricci.It had been weeks since I’d had an encounter with that witch of a woman. I only went into the atrium if Mrs. Ricci wasn’t home, or if I was with Killian, Tommaso, or Adrian, who’d been hanging around the mansion a lot more. I didn’t mind Adrian’s company, even if he was quiet and somewhat skeptical of me still.I missed Mikey.My routine since that awful night was simple. I woke up, ate breakfast with Olivia, and spent a few hours with Penelope every morning. I took Michael on walks around the mansi
Last Updated : 2024-01-19Taken by the Mafia King Riccardo's Son
KillianThe atrium was quiet as I sat on a bench near the indoor pool. Outside, freshly falling snow blanketed the ground, gathering on the tree limbs. The wet snow hung from the glass ceiling outside, sliding down the panes as I toyed with the phone in my hand.I’d needed a change of scenery. I’d spent the last week holed up in my office making calls, making plans, and making deals.I half expected Sera to be here and felt slightly disappointed she wasn’t. She’d gotten into the habit of bringing books and magazines down from the library and reading on the lounge chair near the wall of tropical plants that snaked up the stone façade of the house. I got the impression that was her chosen spot because the plants kept her hidden from my mother’s view.I glanced up at the rooms my mother occupied, finding them dark and the curtains drawn on the windows overlooking the atrium. She wasn’t here today. Mother wasn’t in good health right now. I felt a pang of guilt at the fact that I never re
Last Updated : 2024-01-19
Latest chapter
Taken by the Mafia King Epilogue
PaigeI stood in the vestibule outside of the chapel, clutching my flowers, my heart hammering in my chest. Organ music belted through the doors, and I was just waiting for my cue.We all were. My two bridesmaids, in simple maroon dresses, stood ahead of me. Like she could feel my eyes, Lauren turned back and winked. I smiled. The dress looked spectacular on her, and I’d promised up and down that Tom would invite enough handsome men for her to go home with a date. This, of course, had been complicated by Tom choosing Killian and Stan as his two groomsmen. While I liked the older man, and he kept Lauren laughing, I didn’t exactly see the two of them as a couple.Mom stepped up next to me with a smile. Her mother-of-the-bride dress, a deep burgundy gown with gold accents, caught the light and sent it dancing. “Are you excited?”I inhaled sharply. “I kind of can’t stop thinking about the seating chart for the reception. Who have I become?”She laughed. “Your father.”Tears beaded in my e
Taken by the Mafia King Old Time's Sake
KillianI sat behind my desk and looked out over my men. Tommaso took his usual seat. Adrian hovered in the corner like he wasn’t quite sure what to do with himself yet, just like he had at the beginning. Patrick was still laughing about spilling his wine. Just like old times. I stood and started pouring everyone drinks.“So,” I said, “do you have an update on the warehouses, Adrian?”He started toward my desk, then paused. An odd moment passed. It wasn’t really my desk anymore. I’d left the hunk of wood behind because I had no need for it on the island, and he’d loaded it down with computers in my absence. Despite that, I’d never seen anyone sit behind it but my father besides me.I offered Adrian a drink. “Sit.”He nodded. “Didn’t want to step on your toes. The situation is pretty simple, all told, but I can tell there’s a certain amount of grace I’m supposed to be handling this foreman with, and I don’t—”Tommaso joined me at the bar to pour. “Do you remember that foreman in the so
Taken by the Mafia King Big News
PaigeI tucked my arm through Tom’s and straightened my long, floral romper. He kissed me on the cheek, then knocked on the door. Joyce swung it open.“Hello!” She welcomed us both in with hugs. “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci are in the drawing room. Please, come in.”We let ourselves be bustled through the door, the wine we’d brought carried off to the kitchen, and our coats taken to some closet somewhere in the mansion. Adrian used it as a base of operations when Killian and Sera weren’t home, so I’d been here a few times since the wedding, but I’d never felt comfortable here. Finally, we were led to the closed doors of the drawing room, and Tom opened them with a smile.Inside, we found not only “Mr. and Mrs. Ricci,” but also Olivia and Patrick, Adrian and Penny—who still wouldn’t even talk about their dance at the wedding—and Sera’s mother and brother, as well as Lauren. Sera leapt up to greet us, and Killian followed a few paces behind. I threw myself into the hug just as much as Sera did—I
Taken by the Mafia King Checking Up
SeraI folded a T-shirt and put it into Killian’s suitcase. “Are you sure we need to leave so soon?”He chuckled and took the T-shirt back out, then replaced it with a suit shirt. “Very, unfortunately. Adrian is in the middle of a difficult situation with one of the warehouses, and he needs a steady hand to guide him through.”My stomach churned at the thought of leaving the villa. We’d only been here for a couple of months, and we’d promised everyone we’d return, but dammit, I wasn’t ready yet. Lazing around the villa and having sex whenever the mood took us was way too fun to stop after only a few months.“But we’ll be back soon, right?” I asked like I didn’t already know.“Cara mia.” Killian took my hands. “What is happening in that head of yours?”I sighed. “I don’t know. The thought of leaving just make me kind of sick. We just got away from all that. I don’t want to be scared again.”He studied me for a long moment. “You do look a little pale. How sick is this making you exactly
Taken by the Mafia King Humdrum Excitement
PaigeI squeezed Tom’s hand in the car on the way to the airport.“Sad to be leaving?” he asked.I smiled. “Always. It’s so magical here.”He laughed. “Not just saying that because we’ve spent most of the vacation in bed?”I ran my free hand up his leg. “No, we have weekends for that at home.”“Fair enough.” He kissed the back of my hand. “I do like going on these little vacations, though. It’s a nice escape for a few days.”I nodded. I really was going to miss Paris, but I wouldn’t have wanted to stay much longer anyway. Lauren had been texting me updates about the shelter, especially the new one as women settled in. I kept thinking about how much I was missing, how much they needed me there. And I knew Tom was feeling the same. Apparently, Lyle had his sights set on someone new, and Tom was itching to pull the trigger. Anybody else would probably think we were freaks, desperate to leave a luxury vacation to get back to our grueling jobs. But those people didn’t realize just how much
Taken by the Mafia King Perfect Fit
TommasoWhen I told Paige I’d set everything up for another two days in Paris, she’d immediately insisted we spend a day shopping. I put up a cursory front of complaints, but in truth, I was perfectly happy following her from store to store and carrying her bags. Even better, she loved it when I made jokes about some of the worst, frilliest, most French things we came across. She laughed and joined in. For years, I’d heard men complaining about shopping with their girlfriends—fiancées—saying it was the most boring thing in the world, but even if we weren’t laughing up a storm as we paid our way through the most expensive boutiques in Paris, I still would’ve been having a ball. The sun was shining, she kept looking at the ring I’d put on her finger with a soft wonderment I’d never seen in her eyes anymore, and my face hurt from smiling. Paige and I could’ve made a hell of an afternoon out of reading the phone book.“Stop!” she said.I froze, my free hand twitching toward the gun I’d hi
Taken by the Mafia King Beginning of Forever
PaigeI didn’t know how long Tom and I lay there, listening to the fireworks and seeing the very top of their arcs through the sliver of windows accessible from the floor. I pillowed my head on his chest and enjoyed the steady beat of his heart. Engaged. The last time I was here, I’d been on the cusp of recovery, just starting to make strides toward the person I was today. Now, I wasn’t done—I didn’t know if there was a done for traumatized people or people in general—but I was so much better, stronger, happier than I had been.The last time Tom and I were in Paris, I’d thrown myself at him and chickened out. As much as I could stay at a private view of the Eiffel Tower, I wanted to show him just how much had changed. Just how much I meant the “yes” that had fallen so easily from my lips. I rolled on top of him.“What do you say we take this back to that hotel room you picked out?”Tom grinned and pulled me down for a kiss. I pressed myself against him, feeling every line of his body.
Taken by the Mafia King The Only Ones
PaigeI sat across from Tom in an empty, stunning restaurant in the middle of the Eiffel Tower with my head spinning like the three sips of wine I’d had with the appetizer were enough to make me drunk. He’d really rented out the Eiffel Tower. And not one floor, the whole thing. We’d ridden an empty elevator, the two-Michelin-star chef kept coming out to tell us why he’d selected particular dishes based on the information Tom had given him about our preferences, and I couldn’t hear anything but the soft classical music over the speakers. It felt like a dream.Tom took my hand. “So?”“So what?” I asked.“Was the surprise worth it?” He grinned.I looked over his suit, a forest green that brought out his eyes, worn without a tie. His dark curls tumbled into his face. I’d never seen him look so perfectly put together and so casual. He looked…well, he looked exactly like the man I’d fallen in love with. Nothing like the one who’d scared me so badly all those months ago in Cairo.“I get the
Taken by the Mafia King Peace Time
TommasoDespite how much I wanted Paige to keep that little black dress on, we had a few hours before the Tower officially emptied out for our use. I talked her into putting on something a little more walkable and keeping the lingerie on. As if to punish me for my restraint, she picked a pair of tiny, wide-legged shorts that showed the tops of the garters attached to her stockings every time she moved and a fitted blouse. I changed and somehow convinced myself to leave the hotel room instead of stripping everything off her and spending the hours in bed.She took my hand as we stepped into the lobby. “I should’ve known. When you plan a surprise, it’s never just one thing. Where are we off to first?”“So nosy.” I smiled.“You’re right, I’ll stop asking.” She slid the room key out of her pocket and fiddled with it for a second, then dropped it. With a small smile, she bent at the waist to pick it up, exposing those garter straps again.I grabbed her waist and hurried her the final few st
