Chapter 5

I headed home extremely discouraged and frustrated, cursing Bryan for ruining my good mood and creating all this unnecessary drama when all he should be doing is pretending I don't exist, as he had done so many other times. I threw my purse in a corner of the room and jumped on the sofa, closing my eyes and feeling my body relax, although my head was torturing me with an unpleasant pain. Suddenly I remembered the day Bryan had spoken to me for the first time.

FLASHBACK

I stared exhausted at the third page of math exercises, feeling my wrist aching from writing, writing down, and erasing. I was sitting at a small table that I had placed on the veranda so that studying on hot days would be more pleasant. I had spent the whole afternoon studying, the last year of high school was extremely hard and I did my best to absorb all the subjects, since all I wanted was to go to college the following year. I rested my head on one of my hands and sighed, watching the night fall.

"I heard someone shouting and I straightened my posture, frowning and looking for where the voice was coming from. I noticed a friend of John's - Bryan, if I remembered correctly - looking around the place for something, until he noticed my presence there. He gave me a broad smile and approached me, sitting down next to me without asking permission. I stared at him strangely at his behavior and he kept his charming smile.

"Hi" he spoke.

"Hi... "I replied half hesitantly.

"Helena, right? I'm Bryan. I think you already know this, but let's start over, what do you think?" he boomed and questioned gallantly. I raised an eyebrow in doubt regarding his behavior.

"Okay..." I replied and saw his smile widen - more "Are you looking for something?"

"Not anymore. Would you like some help with that? I used to see this kind of thing a lot in high school" he offered and I denied.

"Thanks, but you don't have to. They're waiting for you, you should come back" I warned him.

"Pretend I'm looking for what they asked for - he winked - Come on, I see you once in a while and we never talk!" 

I sighed again, defeated, and decided to talk to Bryan so that he would decide to get out of there and leave me alone again. 

Little did I know that he would do that quite often. 

END OF FLASHBACK

I took a deep breath and stared at the ceiling, still trying to understand John's latest actions, which were not at all in keeping with the attitudes of the people around him that I was used to dealing with. The most I thought he would do was stay in his place, as he always had been, although no provocation had ever gone so far as the one a few minutes ago that he had to intervene. Most of the time he just looked at me with that closed expression and ignored the whole situation, I didn't make any point of him saying anything at all since I knew and could manage on my own and never expected anything from him. My feelings towards John were always confused, I used to spend most of my time watching him immersed in his perfect life, however, I began to admire him when I realized that he was not empty as I thought. He was a very kind person, although almost always serious. The subtle polite smiles he would give me when greeting me made me feel like a jerk. I always watched him in each of his conquests, and all the while, I secretly cheered for him.

I do.

It was hard for me to admit that I had feelings for the son of my mother's boss, after all, we are like water and oil, totally different in our experiences. Everything got worse the moment he started dating. After this, I simply put away everything I felt and decided that my life could not stop because of a silly feeling, but I knew that rationalizing this whole situation would be useless, because, deep down, I never stopped loving John. Not really. I have been suffering in silence ever since, acting as if nothing affected me.

I don't know exactly how long I lay there staring at the ceiling and feeling distressed every time I tried to imagine what was happening in the Carter house, but the sound of the door opening caught my attention. My mother was present in the room and I immediately stood up, arranging my body on the sofa.

"Hi, daughter," she sat down next to me, smiling. I tried to smile back, however, something more like a grimace must have come out.

"Hi... How was today?" I asked uncertainly.

"It was fine, less tiring than other days. Everyone is going out tonight, so I'll be able to rest a lot" she answered, I noticed the cheerfulness in her voice. I stared at her suspiciously, having no idea what had happened right after I had come home and let John talk about God knows what to Miss Kyara. Daughter, did you slap Bryan? The boss's son's friend?" his speech was measured, and I sighed and shrugged my shoulders, checking the words before I spoke them.

"It was a very childish situation, but he crossed the line. I won't let anyone step on me or disrespect what you do," I justified.

My mother smiled tenderly and nodded.

"I understand you, but you need to control your temper, Lena. My job can't be at risk, we have nowhere else to go.

"Yes, I'm aware of that. I wasn't planning to slap him, it was involuntary," I begrudgingly confessed, and relaxed my body back against the back of the sofa.

"John defended you to Mistress Kyara, she was letting fire out of her mouth" - I turned around curious by this realization.

"What did he say?"

"I didn't listen very well, but he said it wasn't your fault and that Bryan was reckless. I thought it was a pretty righteous attitude," I nodded slowly, staring at some point in the room.

"Daughter, try to stay away from them, okay?" my mother asked me, touching my hands before standing up. 

"I always have," I said, ignoring the guilt that came over me; after all, I knew I wasn't always successful in my attempts. 

I watched her walk to her room and closed my eyes for a few moments, longing for the quiet I had craved all day. I turned on the TV while I prepared something for my mother and me to eat, deciding to make a macaroni and bolognese. I was distractedly watching some movie until the ringing of my cell phone rang. I ran to the counter and picked up the phone, seeing Sophie's name on the screen.

"Hello!" her excited voice hummed on the other end of the line making me laugh.

"Wow, how cheerful is that?" I inquired as I stirred the noodles.

"Cheerful from someone who has a subpoena for you. I won't take no for an answer, Helena Muller," I breathed out, already expecting some miraculous proposal from my friend.

"I'll take anything as long as it doesn't involve leaving the house," I warned, hearing a grumble from her. 

"Sweetheart, I already told you that you don't have a choice. Enough of this doldrums on the weekends! Paolo Herzog has organized a wonderful party at his triplex, you're coming with me even if I have to drag you.

"Sophie, I don't have the facilities to host this event," she laughed, "which means I don't have the right clothes. And I don't even know this guy, only you.

"You're my company, silly. Relax, he won't mind. And about the clothes... Don't be that way! I'll come over in twenty minutes and you can get ready here at home."

"You won't give up, will you?"

"Never."

"Okay" I gave in and had to take my cell phone out of my ear due to her fervent celebration.

"Bye-bye, I'll be out in front of the condo in a little while."

"All right, annoying little thing " my persistent friend let out a curse and hung up.

I hurried to finish preparing the noodles and knocked on my mother's bedroom door, hearing a "come in" in response. 

"Mom, the pasta will be ready soon," I poked my head into the room, watching her read some book I couldn't identify.

"Hmm you made your specialty in the kitchen? The bolognese pasta?" she questioned giggling and I rolled my eyes, laughing too. 

"Specialty because it's the only thing I know how to do right?"

"That's you talking," I stared at her in fake amazement. 

"Sophie's picking me up in a little while, she wants me to go with her to a party" I wrinkled my nose "Is it okay if I go?"

"But of course, daughter! You'll have fun" she smiled sweetly and I did the same, leaving the room immediately. 

I turned off the macaroni and ran to my room, choosing some clothes to go to Sophie's house, putting my toiletry bag and some other things I would need into my purse and headed towards my mother's room to say goodbye.

"I'll be right there, Sophie will be here in a minute" I walked in and planted a kiss on her cheek "the noodles are ready, by the way.

"Thank you, daughter. Take care."

"I waved my hands and left, grabbing my purse and walking hurriedly out the door.

After minutes of walking I could see the girl's car waving frantically in my direction. I went to meet her and got into the vehicle, automatically feeling joy at her excitement as she started it.