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CHAPTER 73: MAGGIE
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2024-10-29 19:42:56I jumped away from Austin, my hand flying to my mouth when I saw Jack standing there. His eyes flicked between us, the blue in them slowly getting icier, his expression getting harder.
The tension in the room rocketed. I could almost feel Austin tensing next to me, saw the anger and realization flooding through Jack’s body. I was standing frozen, unable to do anything but wait. Unable to do anything but look at the anger and betrayal firing up in my best friend’s eyes.
There were a thousand excuses rolling around my mind, but the cat really did have my tongue.
There was nothing than could excuse this.
And it was time to be honest.
“Josh thought he saw you follow Austin up.” Jack focused his eyes on me. “I thought he was crazy. I told him it was some other poor fucker, but when a couple of the other guys agreed I said I’d come up just for a laugh. Because I didn’t actually fucking think I’d find you up
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 74: MAGGIE (cont..)
He tightened his grip on my hands slightly, and my body shook. Gentle footsteps on the stairs announced Sandra’s arrival, and my eyes slid to hers. I didn’t see the anger or annoyance I expected.I saw understanding.“And you, Maggy?” Jack questioned.Deep breath. “I love him, Jack. I’m sorry I didn’t tell you, I am. Both of us tried not to let it happen but it did, and I’m not sorry for that. I’m just sorry it hurts you so much.”Sandra slid her arm around Jack’s, leaning against him, and he heaved out a breath.“Y’know what hurts the most?” He looked at me, anger gone from his eyes. A hint of defeat replaced it. “You’re my best friend and you didn’t think you could tell me. You didn’t even feel for a second that you could tell me. Maybe that’s my fault, but that’s what gets me. Am I pissed you lied about it? Fucking right I am.
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 75: MAGGIE ( cont..)
My heart was in complete contradiction of itself. Lying there in Austin’s arms, half of it was lighter than it had been in the last few weeks. The lightness came from the truth being told. But the other half was heavy, like a lead weight was holding it down and pinning it to the ground.I shifted, and Austin’s grip on me tightened. I ran my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his face, and studied him. Now he looked like he was at peace. The lines on his forehead I had seen so many times were now completely smooth, his mouth was slightly open, and his breathing was even and steady.But his peace had come at the torment of my best friend – who was somewhere in this house, probably awake. He’d be hating himself for being mad at me, happy I found the love he had, and guilty I felt like I couldn’t tell him.In fact he wouldn’t be at the house. I knew exactly where he’ll be.I climbed out of bed, and there
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 76: AUSTIN
The rough bark of the tree dug into my back. Apart from with Maggie, outside was the only place that gave me peace. Even as I waited for the inevitable conversation with Jack – the one where I’ll have to admit why I need her so much. He deserved that much after what we had done to him, and I was ready for it. Because of Maggie I was finally ready to start opening up about my life.“Still a spacey bastard.” He smirked.“No fist in my eye?” I smirked back at him.He shrugged a shoulder. “I considered it. Several fucking times. Then figured it just ain’t worth it since I’d probably get more punches from those damn girls than it’s worth.”He was probably right.“But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you if you break her fucking heart.”“I wasn’t joking when I said I loved her yesterday,” I said bluntly, staring him down with t
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 77: AUSTIN (cont..)
“What are we doing?” I asked as Maggie tugged me towards my car.“It’s Sunday,” she said simply. “We’re going to see your Gramps.”“Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you have a damn picnic basket with you.”“Fine – we’re going to see your Gramps and take him out for the day. Better?” She raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned, starting the engine up.“Much. But where are we going?”“You’ll see.”She settled back in her seat, smiling to herself. If I’d hoped to get any clues from her outfit, I’d definitely not got any luck. Her jeans, jacket, and boots were nothing out of the ordinary – but her tied up hair was.Not that it meant anything in particular … Apart from making me want to nuzzle her bare neck.We pulled up outside Gramps’ house and got out. When I opened the door, I wa
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 78: MAGGIE
“Are you telling me I could be standing here all day and not catch a thing?”Gramps cacklesd across the boat. “That’s exactly what he’s telling you!”I turned my face toward Austin, and he grinned. “What?”“I can’t believe I got roped into this.” This was ridiculous. I ate fish. I didn’t catch it. Hell.“Hey.” His hands fell to my hips and he nudged my collar from my neck with his nose. His lips brushed the skin of my neck. “This was your idea, remember?”“Yes …” My idea for them.Austin’s nose ran up and down my neck, his breath hot against me, and I swallowed.“So you didn’t get roped into anything. You had to know that you’d end up fishing,” he reasoned.“Mhmm.”“So why are you so surprised?”I shivered when he took a deep breath and exhaled against my skin. His hands slid down my sides to the front pockets of my jeans. He placed his fingers in them, spreading them out and stroking my legs, before taking them back out.“I’m not,” I whispered.“Then don’t complain.” He was smiling a
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 79: MAGGIE(cont..)
Everything was easier when the secret was out. Now I didn’t have to worry about looking at Austin wrong or saying something that might look suspicious. I didn’t have to watch my every movement, bite my tongue or clench my fists so I didn’t touch him.And I loved it.I loved that we could just be.I didn’t care about the whispers from people outside our circle of friends, the ones who didn’t know the truth, and I didn’t care about the looks that came from other girls. I just cared that I could fall into his arms when I found him standing outside my classroom, just like he was now.“Shakespeare hasn’t killed you yet, then,” he said as he smiled at me, taking my hand.I looked over at him. “No, not yet, but there’s every possibility of it in the future.”“Not a damn chance.”“How
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 80: AUSTIN
“This is going to be a disaster,” Maggie muttered, pulling onto a street with houses worth more than I could ever dream of making. Most were three-story buildings, all with driveways, garages and perfectly pruned front yards.I fidgeted in my seat. A small voice in the back of my mind whispered about the differences in our lives. It reminded me how different it was here compared to where I started life in San Francisco. I glanced at Maggie and told the voice to fuck off.My past doesn’t define who I am. The here and now does.Gramps whistled low. “What, you got a pool and all?”“Hope you brought your swimming trunks,” she commented in a chipper voice.“Good job I did, then.” Gramps patted his stomach. “Love a good swim.”She turned the car onto a driveway leading to one of the three-story houses. The drive was lined by circular bushes and winter flowers. I looked up at the hou
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 81: AUSTIN(cont..)
Maggie ran her hand down my body, her fingers tracing the defining lines of the muscle. I sighed deeply, pulling her closer to me, and breathed in the vanilla scent of her hair. No matter where she had been or what she had done, she always smelt like vanilla.“What are we doing today?” I asked, my fingertips following the curve of her spine right to her ass.She shuddered. “I thought we could go riding.”“I get the feeling we’re not talking about bedroom riding.”She looked up at me, her hair messy, and smiled. “No. Horse riding. I don’t go at college and I miss it.”“I’ve never ridden a horse.”“I’ll teach you.”“Um.”“You taught me to fish,” she reminded me. “You made me fish!”“I guess there’s no way around this, huh?”She shook her head, rolling on top of me. Her knees went either side of my hips, trapping me, and her hair fell around my face. She slowly lowered her face to mine, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and grazing her teeth across it. I slid my hands along her thighs
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TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 83: EPILOGUE (AUSTIN)
I tugged the zipper of my jacket up higher as a cold wind blew in off San Francisco Bay, and fought the urge to turn and ran back to the marina. I won’t run. This was something that had to be done, for me.Maggie squeezed my hand, curling into my arm, and we began to walk into the small cemetery where my mom was buried.I felt sick. Emotion stronger than I had felt in a long time swirled around my whole body, from hatred to pity, fear to anger, yet through it all … Through it all was a bit of love for the woman that tried and failed to give me life.We weaved silently through the graves and markers, heading to the back of the cemetery. I held the white rose I bought tightly, clutching it to my chest, and tried to breathe deeply.I would never forgive her and I would never forget her, but I could finally be at peace with her.The small, black marble headstone sat alongside my
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 82: MAGGIE
I slid down from Storm’s back and patted his neck lovingly, hooking his reins around a tree branch in the shade. I took my helmet off, shook out my hair, and looked under the roots for the basket I asked June to place there earlier. Storm turned his attention to the water I had given him, and I lied the blanket out on the ground on the other side of the small tree. Excited, I sat down and waited for Austin to catch up.Palm Canyon trail was one of my favorite to take – it always had been. Sitting there by the stream and letting Storm rest was a weekly pastime before I left for Berkeley. We’d do the other trails on our other rides, but our Saturdays were always reserved for this.And now I remembered why.The green of the fauna was a stark contrast to the barren desert beyond, and the rocks that dotted the stream were just big enough to sit on. It was beautiful here. Peaceful in the winter when no one came here.“How do I get down?&
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 81: AUSTIN(cont..)
Maggie ran her hand down my body, her fingers tracing the defining lines of the muscle. I sighed deeply, pulling her closer to me, and breathed in the vanilla scent of her hair. No matter where she had been or what she had done, she always smelt like vanilla.“What are we doing today?” I asked, my fingertips following the curve of her spine right to her ass.She shuddered. “I thought we could go riding.”“I get the feeling we’re not talking about bedroom riding.”She looked up at me, her hair messy, and smiled. “No. Horse riding. I don’t go at college and I miss it.”“I’ve never ridden a horse.”“I’ll teach you.”“Um.”“You taught me to fish,” she reminded me. “You made me fish!”“I guess there’s no way around this, huh?”She shook her head, rolling on top of me. Her knees went either side of my hips, trapping me, and her hair fell around my face. She slowly lowered her face to mine, sucking my bottom lip into her mouth and grazing her teeth across it. I slid my hands along her thighs
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 80: AUSTIN
“This is going to be a disaster,” Maggie muttered, pulling onto a street with houses worth more than I could ever dream of making. Most were three-story buildings, all with driveways, garages and perfectly pruned front yards.I fidgeted in my seat. A small voice in the back of my mind whispered about the differences in our lives. It reminded me how different it was here compared to where I started life in San Francisco. I glanced at Maggie and told the voice to fuck off.My past doesn’t define who I am. The here and now does.Gramps whistled low. “What, you got a pool and all?”“Hope you brought your swimming trunks,” she commented in a chipper voice.“Good job I did, then.” Gramps patted his stomach. “Love a good swim.”She turned the car onto a driveway leading to one of the three-story houses. The drive was lined by circular bushes and winter flowers. I looked up at the hou
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 79: MAGGIE(cont..)
Everything was easier when the secret was out. Now I didn’t have to worry about looking at Austin wrong or saying something that might look suspicious. I didn’t have to watch my every movement, bite my tongue or clench my fists so I didn’t touch him.And I loved it.I loved that we could just be.I didn’t care about the whispers from people outside our circle of friends, the ones who didn’t know the truth, and I didn’t care about the looks that came from other girls. I just cared that I could fall into his arms when I found him standing outside my classroom, just like he was now.“Shakespeare hasn’t killed you yet, then,” he said as he smiled at me, taking my hand.I looked over at him. “No, not yet, but there’s every possibility of it in the future.”“Not a damn chance.”“How
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 78: MAGGIE
“Are you telling me I could be standing here all day and not catch a thing?”Gramps cacklesd across the boat. “That’s exactly what he’s telling you!”I turned my face toward Austin, and he grinned. “What?”“I can’t believe I got roped into this.” This was ridiculous. I ate fish. I didn’t catch it. Hell.“Hey.” His hands fell to my hips and he nudged my collar from my neck with his nose. His lips brushed the skin of my neck. “This was your idea, remember?”“Yes …” My idea for them.Austin’s nose ran up and down my neck, his breath hot against me, and I swallowed.“So you didn’t get roped into anything. You had to know that you’d end up fishing,” he reasoned.“Mhmm.”“So why are you so surprised?”I shivered when he took a deep breath and exhaled against my skin. His hands slid down my sides to the front pockets of my jeans. He placed his fingers in them, spreading them out and stroking my legs, before taking them back out.“I’m not,” I whispered.“Then don’t complain.” He was smiling a
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 77: AUSTIN (cont..)
“What are we doing?” I asked as Maggie tugged me towards my car.“It’s Sunday,” she said simply. “We’re going to see your Gramps.”“Okay, but that doesn’t explain why you have a damn picnic basket with you.”“Fine – we’re going to see your Gramps and take him out for the day. Better?” She raised an eyebrow at me, and I grinned, starting the engine up.“Much. But where are we going?”“You’ll see.”She settled back in her seat, smiling to herself. If I’d hoped to get any clues from her outfit, I’d definitely not got any luck. Her jeans, jacket, and boots were nothing out of the ordinary – but her tied up hair was.Not that it meant anything in particular … Apart from making me want to nuzzle her bare neck.We pulled up outside Gramps’ house and got out. When I opened the door, I wa
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 76: AUSTIN
The rough bark of the tree dug into my back. Apart from with Maggie, outside was the only place that gave me peace. Even as I waited for the inevitable conversation with Jack – the one where I’ll have to admit why I need her so much. He deserved that much after what we had done to him, and I was ready for it. Because of Maggie I was finally ready to start opening up about my life.“Still a spacey bastard.” He smirked.“No fist in my eye?” I smirked back at him.He shrugged a shoulder. “I considered it. Several fucking times. Then figured it just ain’t worth it since I’d probably get more punches from those damn girls than it’s worth.”He was probably right.“But that doesn’t mean I won’t kick the shit out of you if you break her fucking heart.”“I wasn’t joking when I said I loved her yesterday,” I said bluntly, staring him down with t
TOXIC LOVE CHAPTER 75: MAGGIE ( cont..)
My heart was in complete contradiction of itself. Lying there in Austin’s arms, half of it was lighter than it had been in the last few weeks. The lightness came from the truth being told. But the other half was heavy, like a lead weight was holding it down and pinning it to the ground.I shifted, and Austin’s grip on me tightened. I ran my fingers through his hair, smoothing it back from his face, and studied him. Now he looked like he was at peace. The lines on his forehead I had seen so many times were now completely smooth, his mouth was slightly open, and his breathing was even and steady.But his peace had come at the torment of my best friend – who was somewhere in this house, probably awake. He’d be hating himself for being mad at me, happy I found the love he had, and guilty I felt like I couldn’t tell him.In fact he wouldn’t be at the house. I knew exactly where he’ll be.I climbed out of bed, and there
