Chapter 04 Nightmare, Trauma and The past

Chapter 04 The past

Hazel

"What are you doing in the forest little princess? "I turned in the direction of the familiar voice and smiled.

The soothing female voice that sang me a lullaby and read me stories before I fell asleep.

"I'm looking for mushrooms, mama. It has been a long time since we tasted it. I'm tired of meat and vegetables. ''I said and turned around, then continued to pick more mushrooms.

"The forest is not a safe place for you or anyone at your age. It's too dangerous. You made me scared. "I saw worry in my mother's eyes and she heaved a deep sigh.

Sigh of relief because she had found her missing princess.

"I'm sorry that I came to the forest without your permission. It's just that...I knew you wouldn't allow me, that's why I decided to sneak. "I confessed, fiddling with the helm of my dress.

"It's okay. Don't ever do that without my permission, right? "She asked and I nodded, "We can buy mushrooms from the market, you don't have to come all the way here. Come on, let's go back home."

Mama smiled warmly at me and held my little hands and we began to walk towards the pack. After a few steps, she stopped all of a sudden to listen to the surroundings.

I raised my head and looked at my mother in confusion because I didn't know what was going on.

"Mama is something…"I was about to say more words when my mother gestured for me to remain silent, "Shhh..."She said.

She bent on my level and held my hands, then gave them a little squeeze. There was worry in her eyes and her hands shook on mine.

"I want you to run back to the pack and don't you dare look behind no matter what happens, okay."She told me and a sad smile graced her lips.

"What about you? "I asked, afraid and worried. "Don't worry about me, okay? I want you to listen to your mama. "She brushed hair strands from my face and tucked it behind my ear carefully then planted a gentle kiss on my forehead.

"I want you to have this. "She removed a pure gold necklace from her neck in a hurry and hooked it on my neck then smiled.

"Take good care of this necklace, okay. "My mother told me and I nodded. "Okay. Promise me that you're going to come back to me and Daddy. "I said and tears flowed from my eyes because her words sounded like goodbye to me

"Run! They are near. I will try to distract them, okay. "She whisper-yelled and I obeyed, hesitantly. I turned around and began to run just like my mother had instructed. I didn't want to be stubborn this time.

When I was some distance away, I heard a painful cry...

"Mama..."

I woke up from the nightmare. My heart was pounding wildly against my ribcage, I closed my eyes and tears flowed from my eyes. My hands found their way to my neck and I touched the necklace.

"Mama..."I said in almost a whisper, touching the necklace so tightly as though doing so would help me calm down. I have never removed the necklace since she hooked it on my neck.

"Hazel...Are you okay? Did you have a nightmare? "Sebastian asked me, I guess I shouted so loud that I woke him up.

"Why? Why does everyone always leave me all alone? "I asked him and he was silent. He cupped my face and wiped tears from my eyes but it continued flowing.

I felt like a seven years old girl again, lonely and scared. The memory was so fresh in my mind, as though it happened just minutes ago.

"I'm not going to leave you all alone. It's just a bad dream. I'm here with you. I'm not going to leave you all alone, okay. "He said, his voice soothing and it held a promise.

I closed my eyes and exhaled deeply. Why were the memories of the past coming back? Perhaps it was triggered by what happened between me and Sebastian. I'm afraid of losing someone else who is dear to me.

He pulled me into a tight hug and patted my back so gently and gave my body a little squeeze. I closed my eyes and allowed him to hug me because I needed comfort. I didn't want to feel lonely and abandoned again. I wanted an assurance that I'm not going to be a lonely and broken little princess.

"Come on, you need to get some sleep. I'm not going to leave you, okay. "He repeated his statement from earlier and I nodded my head, wiping the remaining tears from my eyes.

He brushed the dark hair strands from my face and tucked it behind my ear, then planted a gentle kiss on my forehead. I closed my eyes, his lips were warm and comforting against my sweaty forehead.

The kiss reminded me of my mother's last kiss in the forest, on the forehead. Fear crept into my heart. The wounds that I have been nursing for years were open.

Sebastian helped me to lay back on the bed and fixed the pillow for me, then smiled. It was an assurance smile, assuring me that he won't leave. A small smile plastered on my lips.

"Let me fetch you a cup of water from the kitchen. "He was about to turn around and get off the bed but my hand subconsciously grabbed him and he turned back to look at me, creasing his eyebrows.

"Please don't leave me, "I said and tears flowed from my eyes. My eyes pounded against my ribcage so hard that I thought it would explode in the next second.

"I'm only going to the kitchen to fetch you a cup of water. I will be back before you even know it. "He asked and I shook my head almost immediately.

"I'm fine, I don't feel thirsty, "I said and a convincing smile graced my lips. I moved on the bed to create some space for him.

He creased his eyebrows but nodded to my words regardless. He knew I was lying, he knew me too well. I sucked when it came to lying but I didn't care at the moment.

I moved close to him and he pulled me into his warm embrace and I snuggled impossibly close to him. I felt him press his lips on the top of my head and a small sigh escaped my lips. My grip on him tightened.

"Goodnight. "He whispered, his voice was gentle and soothing. I responded by clinging onto him, hoping that he would be able to keep his promise this time. He won't leave me all alone as everyone has always done.

He won't throw away six years that we have spent together as husband and wife. After being awake for minutes, I finally managed to fall asleep and this time the nightmare didn't come back.

I fluttered my eyelashes softly to get rid of the blurry vision. I heaved a sigh of relief when I realized that Sebastian was beside me. He hadn't left as he had promised me.

He kept his promise.

My eyes welled up but I blinked countless times to hold back tears. I couldn't help but imagine one day waking up to an empty and cold bed.

He was sleeping so peacefully and I didn't want to wake him up. I climbed down from the bed, slid into yoga pants and wore his shirt to surround myself with his scent then went for my morning runs just like other days.

The pack members looked at me as though I had grown a second head or something. I didn't need a prophetess to tell me what was going on.

"They already know that their Alpha found his fated in the annual ceremony," I told Mia and she howled in my head. My heart pounded wildly against my ribcage, fear and worry getting the best of me 

I could see happiness in some pack members eyes while some looked at me with pity. It was a dream of every pack for their Alpha to find his fated mate because that meant he would become more strong.

I wondered if they cared about me, about how I felt and all the sacrifices I had made for them, for the pack. I jogged back to the house, my heart beating wildly from the exercise and some unexplainable fear.

"Good morning. "Sebastian greeted me and smiled as soon as I entered our room. He was already awake. He had taken a shower, his eyes were wet from the shower and he smelled so fresh.

My lips curved into a dim smile, responding to his greeting and I walked to the bathroom to freshen up. I stepped under the warm running water after tugging off my clothes. I stayed under the shower for a few minutes, my mind wandering around.

I went back to the room and changed into comfortable clothes. My heart dropped when I looked at myself in the full-length mirror. My eyes were bloodshot and swollen.

When I was done with everything, I went straight to the car to wait for Sebastian so that he could come and drive us to the meeting. He came and realized that I was already inside the car. I didn't focus on what he was doing when he entered the car, my mind was miles away from my body.

I was startled when he touched my hand that was resting on my lap. I looked at our intertwined hands, then raised my head slowly to look at him and we locked eyes, I looked deep into those ocean-blue irises and my heart skipped a beat.

"I'm sorry. I'm really sorry for everything, Hazel. "He said and gave my hand a small squeeze. His hand was warm against mine and I swallowed hard.

I stayed quiet and looked at him because I didn't know what to tell him,my lips curved into a small smile and a sigh escaped my lips. The drive to the meeting was silent. I looked out of the window, finding peace in looking at beautiful nature and flying birds.

We finally arrived at the meeting and everyone was present, the councils and everyone. I greeted them, however, I didn't miss those weird glances. 

The meeting began since we had a lot to discuss, matters concerning our pack and the new ideas that we learned in annual ceremony.

I contributed less in the meeting which was not normal. My mind wandered around most of the time and I was proud of Sebastian because he led the meeting so well. He understood what I was going through and didn't pressure me.

A sigh of relief left my lips when the meeting finally came to an end.

"Sebastian, we need to talk. "William, one of the council members told Sebastian, grabbing his hand and leading him away.

Fear crept into my heart,  they didn't call me to accompany them which was not odd. They always consulted with both of us about something that concerned the pack.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Perhaps my opinion is less needed in whatever they're going to talk about. I reasoned out.

Sebastian followed the man hesitantly, he stopped in his tracks and looked at me when he was a few steps from me and I smiled at him and nodded, assuring him that he didn't need to worry.I'm going to be fine.

"We have heard that you found your fated mate in the annual ceremony in Silver Pack.''I heard the bald man say and I swallowed nervously. My heart palpitated and my hands began to shake uncontrollably but I tried my best to remain calm.

"What's your plan? When are you planning to bring her in the pack and claim her?"The bald man asked shamelessly, he didn't care what his words did to me.

Sebastian was quiet; I wondered why he wasn't answering. Was he thinking of a date?. The thought of it made my stomach twist painfully and my heart ached, as though someone was squeezing it into a tiny breath and it was becoming hard for me to breathe.

Sebastian turned his head to look at me and I couldn't help but look away.

"I have no plan of bringing her to my pack or claiming her. Mountain pack already has a Luna and that's Hazel Del Mundo. My chosen mate. "He said, a sigh of relief escaped my lips and that's when I realised I have been holding my breath.

I closed my eyes and a single tear dropped from my left eye.

"So stubborn. "The old man laughed mockingly.

"You better think things through, young man. Your father was brave. He claimed his fated and took her as his Luna. That is because he cared about the pack and his lineage. "He said shamelessly.

I knew about Seb father's story, Alpha Adam. I heard it from the pack members since I was a small child and my father even told me since he was his Beta. When Adam found his fated, he claimed her immediately and made her his Luna. He abandoned his chosen and banished her from his pack.

The bald man's words were like a two-edged silver dagger that pierced my heart without mercy. I turned around and walked to our car which was packed at the entrance, far away from where they were standing.

I didn't want to listen to their conversation anymore. Tears flowed from my eyes effortlessly; I entered the car and tightened the seatbelts then turned my head to look at Sebastian and the old man.

I saw them arguing and I was thankful that I wasn’t around them. It was evident that Simon was happy that Sebastian had found his fate.

Simon wanted Sebastian for his daughter Arabella years ago. However, Sebastian chose me and turned him down. I know he is still holding the grudge against me. He's looking for a way to revenge, he has never liked me.

I wiped tears from my eyes using the back of my hand. I didn't know how Sebastian got inside the car, he looked angry. He tied the seatbelts and closed his eyes, running his fingers through his jet-black eyes.

"Are you going to follow his advice? "I asked him, holding my breath.