BEATRICE:Christina had been nudging me now and then while watching Grayson and Drake playing in the living room. The kitchen and living room were adjacent to each other and I could see what the two were up to. Baby Cassandra was still sleeping on the bed and Jamie had already told me that she would be arriving any minute from now. "What?" I asked, tasting the dish that I had cooked. It was garlic sesame chicken. Due to limited time, that was the only thing that I was able to cook, and some roasted potatoes and carrots. “You’ve been acting weird since we started cooking, Christina.”“You call me weird? If someone is acting weird like now, it would be you, Woman. How could this be okay with you?” she asked in disbelief. “How could you invite your ex-husband into your own apartment as if there is nothing wrong? As if you’re not mad at him?My brows furrowed while I wiped my hands in my apron.“Don’t think this is fine with me, because this is not.” But there was Grayson. My son was ha
BEATRICE:I cleared my throat when Drake gave me a hopeful look as if silently telling me to tell Grayson the truth.I was still thinking about that. Pulling my son into the chair, I said, “Why do you like him to be your dad?"Grayson kicked his legs under the table, the smile slowly spreading across his face. "Mister Drake is funny, Mommy. He always makes me smile. He plays with me, too. My classmates would ask if he was my dad because we have the same hair color."“Those were not enough to make him your Dad, okay?”"I play with you, too, Grayson. Am I not enough?""You're always busy, Mommy. Sometimes, you are tired and I did not want you to get tired."The smile vanished from my face. He could see that? I was trying my best to play with him and gave him a lot of time. I did not want him to feel alone. My chest tightened as my tears simmered with tears. I felt like a bad Mom."No, baby. Mommy will always have some time for you. If you want to play with me, you get to tell me, okay
BEATRICE:"We will continue this later, okay?" I didn't, trying to turn down my annoyance. I appreciated that she cared about me, but if she kept on dragging my ex-husband's name into every single conversation, which was already unacceptable. "I understand your worries and frustrations, but one thing will I assure you. I won't commit the same mistake I did five years ago," I assured her. I must guard my heart. If I didn't, I would be falling for the same wrong person all over again. Maybe it's time to divert your attention to another man. Why don't you try Zack?Zack. He was not that bad. And it seemed he was respectful. The only downside was that he was a widower. I had nothing against them, but what if he loved his wife still and was only using me to forget him? Then, is it only fair that you two would be using each other? You won't be feeling guilty, Beatrice. I had to think about that. I need someone to help me divert my mind since I like Drake's effect on my heart and my mi
BEATRICE:“You better listen to Jamie. You two have the same situation, but the way I see it, she seems wiser than you when it comes to men, Beatrice,” Christina declared. And now she was comparing me to Jamie even if we had different experiences and pasts? Jamie was much stronger than me since she was able to take care of her daughter without anyone's help. The same Jamie worked from home so that she could take care of Cassandra. While me? For five years, I was always relying on Christina. Financially. Emotionally. Without Christina, I did not know if I would be able to survive those five years alone. “Stop it, Christina. It’s no longer funny.”She faked a surprise look. “Why? Do you think that I am joking? I am not, Beatrice. I am only trying to protect you from future pain. I’m the one who cares about you. Not your asshole ex-husband.”Jamie hastily covered Cassandra’s ears so that the baby wouldn’t be able to hear that word.“Mind your language when you’re surrounded by children
BEATRICE:When I returned, Drake and Grayson seemed like they were waiting for me. The television was still on. It was only then that I realized that Christina was also sitting beside them. But a little farther away from Drake. Whenever my son was not watching, Christina would occasionally glare at the man. “Mommy! Did they leave, Mommy?”“Yes, Grayson.”“When will Cassy be back? I miss her already, Mommy. I did not have the chance to play with her.”“You will have the chance to play with her soon. When they returned.”“They will return right?”I would be happy if they returned since I badly needed cash right now. And speaking of money, I still haven't checked my account how much Jamie had wired. “Maybe…. I don't have any idea. It's Aunt Jamie's decision. Are you going now, Christina?”She folded her arms in front of her chest. “I should be going now. My husband is waiting for me. But…” she trailed off. There was hesitation in her eyes. It was because of Drake. She did not want to
BEATRICE:What the heck was happening to me? Just because I saw my ex-husbands naked at the top did not mean I would become a pervert! That was utterly disgusting! Since when was I lusting over a man’s body?Since you saw your husband. No. Ex-husband. You were always infatuated with his body when you were married. You know? The one-sided love? I mentally shook my head, not liking how I was appreciating him at a time like this. Regardless of whether we had some sort of past or not, it did not mean I was free to ogle at his naked body. What would he think? That I was still affected by him? I did not want him to think as if there was still space for him in my heart. Damn.However, regardless of how much I tried to wretch my eyes away from him, it would always return to him. Like what the…This was unforgivable. And I was certain Christina would also not forgive me if she found out that I was acting like this towards my ex-husband."Mommy! See? I am done taking a bath!" Grayson announce
BEATRICE:Those words were lies. I knew them in my chest, but why did my heart flutter hearing those words coming from his mouth?Why did he have to say that kind of bullshit just to make me believe that he truly wanted it to happen? There was no truth in his words. Only lies and false promises. "Mommy, I want to stay at Mr. Drake's side forever," Grayson announced as he pulled our hands and touched them. “I want him to be my Daddy. Is that possible, Mommy?”My lips parted as tiny bolts of electricity flowed between us. I was about to pull my hands away, but Grayson kept on holding them. His hands were much smaller compared to us, but how could those frail hands be the reason why my heart hammered like this?"Grayson, what about your real Dad?" I asked. "Don't you want him too?""Daddy never plays with me. Mr. Drake did. So, I would prefer Mr. Drake over Daddy."Drake and I stared at each other before my gaze returned to my son. "What if Daddy was only busy?" I asked. “Like Mommy.”
BEATRICE:My body was sore, and my eyes felt like they would be going to close any moment now. I failed to sleep right away last night. There were a lot of things going on in my mind that night and, in fact, until now. I had just walked Grayson to his school and thankfully did not find Drake there or anywhere in the school. I hoped it was because he realized his presence was no longer needed in this family. I have no part-time job right now. Tomorrow, I have to look for another one. Bills continued coming as well as the expenses. I need to work and work. But for now, I had to rest or maybe sleep for an hour. Sauntering towards the living room, I scanned the surroundings first for any dirt, found none, threw the keys on the floor, and was about to sit on the couch, when the doorbell rang. A scowl formed on my forehead. The doorbell continued to ring when I did not move. My brows furrowed. Who could that be? I was not expecting any visitors. Except for your ex-husband? the othe