~RUBY Ash kissed me. I didn't know what I was expecting when he leaned over, but I definitely was not expecting him to kiss me. I froze for what seemed like hours but was only a few seconds. Again, I was hit with that feeling of Deja Vu. We had only kissed once on that night I wanted to forget badly— but it was still feeling like we had kissed so many times and I could not stop craving him. Ash groaned against my lips and I lost it. I leaned in, let my muscles relax, and kissed him back. His lips were velvety soft, and they tasted exclusively like he did last time. It was sweet. It was heady. It was sexy. It was…what I wanted. I kissed him back with everything in me, his hands snaking around my waist to drag me unto his lap. I dragged my hands through his hair, my mouth swallowing his gasp as I threaded my fingers in his hair. He gripped my ass, and ground against me. The friction made me freeze for a moment, before I groaned, and started moving against him.
~ASH I didn't look back as I drove away, my heart still pounding from the intensity of the kiss. I should not have kissed her, damnit. I should have ignored her all the way home. I should not have looked at her. But she kept asking me and her voice…that damned voice did things to me. It didn't help that she was angry too, her anger fueling the desire simmering beneath my veins. But I should not have kissed her. I could have gotten drunk on her taste. That sweet, intoxicating taste. I would have stayed there and let her kiss me to death. I should not have kissed her. I had been doing so well keeping a distance from her, since I realized I was madly in love with her. But today…she was so close. Too close. I lost control. And it didn't help that she kissed me back. My fireball kissed like the world was ending, like I was her last act of humanity. She kissed me like she meant it. I knew it was a mistake, she was just caught in the passion. But a part of me
~ASH I gasped in shock at Ruby's unconscious form. “Ruby? Ruby?” I called quietly, not wanting to wake up her husband by mistake. I was already thinking of ways, strategies to explain this to her without scaring her away or sounding weird, but it was nearly impossible. Where the hell do I even start from? I crawled over to her and shook her slightly, her naked breasts jiggling and trying to draw my attention. But this was no time to be consumed by desire. I needed her to wake up. “Ruby? Ruby. Damnit. Stop scaring me and just wake up. It's not what you think it is.” It is exactly what you think it is. She didn't stir, her body limp and unresponsive. Oh goodness. What if… I ran to the bathroom and flung the door open, cupping water with my hands. It did no good though. The water dripped all over the floor before I got to the bed. I cursed as I carried her to the bathroom, setting her gently on the bathroom floor. Sprinkling water on her face, I
~RUBY I opened my eyes, queasiness rolling in my stomach. I flinched as light filtered across my face, my eyes must have been closed for a while. I tried raising my arms to shield my eyes from the piercing light, when a silhouette appeared before me, effectively shielding my eyes from the burst of light. I squinted, trying to see who was standing before me, and was relieved to see that it was Ethan. My relief turned to confusion though, when I saw a very wide and unbelievably happy grin on his face. Since we got married, I had never seen a smile that wide on my husband's face. Worse, he kept looking at me with an almost too tender look that made me feel slightly uncomfortable. “My darling,” he crooned and I almost held back my groan. I was still feeling queasy, and I really did not need my sweet husband to act like a lovesick puppy at the moment. I tried sitting up, and he helped, his eyes never leaving mine. The bed was strong and sturdy…but it felt different.
~RUBY As I stared at myself in the mirror, I did not like what I saw. The guilt was too much to bear and I suddenly felt the urge to scream. I instantly closed my hand against my mouth as I released a wordless scream. My entire body trembled with this scream as I used it to release all my pain into the world. Why did this happen to me? What did I do to deserve this? Why? “Baby. Are you okay? You've been there for almost an hour,” Ethan suddenly called out. This broke me out of the alone world I had entered and the sound of his voice made me cry even harder. How would I even face my husband? He was so happy, so excited about the baby while my heart was sinking into unimaginable levels of despair at the thought of the pregnancy. I was not even sure how many times Ash had impersonated Ethan. How was I sure that even the times I thought it was truly Ethan, that it was actually Ash? Ethan would be devastated. I was devastated. “Ruby. Ruby. Answer me, darlin
~RUBY “Ash?” Ethan furrowed his brows. “Yeah. Come to think of it, I haven't seen him in a small while,” I said, trying to downplay the importance of the question. “Oh. I don't know. He was actually the one who took you to the hospital. I woke up to almost a hundred missed call from him, but when I got to the hospital, I couldn't find him,” my husband explained. That made sense. Since he was the one who caused me to go into shock and faint in the first place. If he took me to the hospital though, where was Ethan? “Where were you? I mean…we were supposed to be together, you and I,” I said, trying to figure out what he did to my husband. “Right. I was…when I woke up, I realized that I was sleeping on the couch. I had no idea how I got there or something,” he said and my heart sank into my stomach. He must have done something to my husband, that I was sure of. “That doesn't matter. I need to be sure you're okay,” my husband said and I smiled absentmindedly, my mind
~ASH My chest was hurting so bad, and the agony was like nothing I had felt before. I didn't even feel this way when Xena died, and the thought of feeling like this over Ruby made me realize how gone I was. Guilt was all I felt, and I had no idea where I ended and where it started. It pierced through my blood and bone and soul and the very essence I breathed, tearing me apart over and over. I wandered through the pack, ignoring all of the familiar faces I had gotten accustomed to during the course of coming here. There was a tree in the secluded part of the park, and I walked towards it, my hands clenched into fists. Why did I do that? What on earth prompted me to do that? Now she was hurt, and I was in pain. The look on her face as she took me in before she lost consciousness made me want to…I don't know. It made me want to crawl out of my body and become someone else. Someone she wouldn't hate. But I had been foolish, and now I was going to suffer the c
~RUBY I stilled. “What– what did you just say?” I asked, my hands limp against his chest. His eyes were mirrors of my pain, and we both stared at each other, as though we wanted to drown in the pain that threatened to consume us both. “I did it for revenge. I wanted to hurt Ethan. I wanted him to feel what I felt, I wanted him to know what it felt like when something…someone that belonged to you was not entirely yours,” he said. His words were barely a whisper, and tears rolled down his face. He didn't even bother to wipe them off, and he looked so different, so unlike the Ash, I knew. “What do you mean?” His pain suddenly seemed greater, like he was reliving a past he didn't want to be reminded of. “Have you ever wondered how Ethan became mentally ill? Did you ever wonder when and why his episodes started? Did you ever wonder how—” he choked on his words, “Xena died?” I dropped my fists and moved back. What he was implying made no sense. Why the fuck was h