~CIARA'A POV~
If I were a number, which would I be?
Numbers are beautiful. Numbers are divine. Numbers are an intricate form of art of a simple design. They help build the world around us and they help bring it down but there is nothing that can truly destroy the nature and value of numbers.
I love numbers. I love how they are so important and yet no one thinks much of them. I love how they help shape the world without actually doing anything. I love how they are so easy yet so difficult to understand. And I love how they excitedly run circles in my head, begging to keep me company.
Two eyes, ears, legs, hands, a face, and ten toes are most of what I was born with.
Eight thousand thirty days, one hundred and ninety two thousand, seven hundred and twenty hours, is how long I've lived in this accursed world.
Seven weeks, is how long I have been taken away from the only family I have.
A window, four walls, two metal restraints, and a hundred rats are where I have been kept since my unfair abduction.
Seven broken teeth, a broken nose, zero fingernails, zero toenails, a thousand slashes running down my back, and one pained beast inside me is how far they would go to break my spirit.
How many times has the goddess taken a shit over the horizon of this pitiful existence I cling to with all I have? How many times have I been made to suffer for something I am unaware of? How many times I have looked him in the eye and begged that he should spare me, save me, LOVE ME?! And how many times has he and everyone else ignored my plea?
4,000. That's how many times he has tried to break my soul and how many times I have stood the test of time.
I can be beaten down but I can't be broken. There was nothing he didn't do and nothing he didn't say.
You being my mate has done nothing to null the hatred that burns deep in my heart and to prove that 'I Alpha Noah Richards reject you Ciara Jenson as my mate and Luna'.
That was by far the most hurtful of his tactics and even that did not break me.
As I lay on the floor stained with human waste and blood, counting the cobwebs on the walls and the streaks of light that slipped through the cracks in the ceiling, My mind drifted to the grandmother I left behind who must be worried sick about me and fat, heavy tears fell from my eyes.
"What did I do to deserve this, dear goddess? Why have you chosen to abandon me yet again? Why is it hard for you to show me a shred of the love you have shown others!?—" I yelled my frustrations into the stale air hoping they would slip through the same cracks the light did and get to her ears.
"—and yet why can't I find it in me to hate the man who caused me all this pain?" I whispered the last part so low that not even the darkness around me could have heard what I said.
Yes, I don't resent the man who caused me all this pain. Hell, I don't even dislike him. Because I'm the only stupid girl alive who's in love with her oppressor.
I am in love with Noah Richards.
I know most people would come up with a thousand reasons why I'm stupid for this and I agree with them but how can you not love a man whose aura exudes power and authority? How can you not love a man who puts his people before himself? And how can you not love a man who might say he hates me but continues to protect me from harm over and over again?
~FLASHBACK~
I sat on the moist soil with my head against a tree trunk and my hand over the wound on my side. My breathing was out of control and my heart rate accelerated.
The wounds I received from the flogging were nothing compared to the emotional wounds on my soul, as I was being flogged at the heart of this pack by none other than the alpha, Noah Richards.
I was ridiculed, made fun of, and insulted. Hell, some people even threw stones at me and no amount of healing could heal that.
My senses were messed up but that didn't stop me from catching sight of the group of wild animals growling in my direction, saliva spilled from their mouth and their eyes shone bright yellow.
They are just normal animals and If I could shift into my wolf, I would end these fools, but the problem is that I can't shift, not after the beating I just took.
They ran to me at an alarming speed and I closed my eyes to prepare myself for my death, but after a couple moments in silence, I opened my eyes to see what happened and my blood ran cold.
Standing over the dead bodies of the creatures only fending for themselves was none other than Noah who was dressed in just a pair of pants dripping with animal blood.
He walked in my direction and before I could conjure my next thought, he picked me up and flung me over his shoulder like a sack of potatoes and I got front-row seats to his glorious ass.
"I can feel you ogling me."
I froze in place and prayed to the moon goddess that she should spare my life but instead of leaving me in the forest as expected, he just stayed quiet and walked back to the pack house.
"Don't think just because I helped you means that I have forgotten what you did, I still hate you but there's something in me that can't let you die."
`END OF FLASHBACK~
"What are you smiling about?"
I snapped out of my thoughts and stared at the man of the hour standing outside the cell.
Speak of the devil.
He walked into the tiny space I called my home, my heart pounded in my chest, and the frail heartbeat of our fractured bond. It's weak but it was still there, but Noah can't hear it.
Because I am a Lycan and he doesn't know that.
~CIARA'S POV~He walked towards me with fluid strides and with each step he took, I craned my neck to get a better look at him.A pointed nose which is cringed in disgust, a pouty lips drawn into a line, two perfectly shaped ears, two enchanting cobalt eyes that bled with hatred and a mop of blond hair on his head which easily made him the most beautiful man I have ever laid eyes on.I hadn't realized that he had gotten close to me till I felt his breath on my nose, so minty with a hint of cigar."Don't you know it's not nice to stare."Each word he spoke was more venomous than the last but even his toxic tone couldn't hold my tongue."It's not my fault you are so lovely, to look at," I said with what I can only imagine was a sly smile on my face.Stupid! Why would you say that to him? Why do you still speak when you know what will happen when you do? But I couldn't help myself. I can't help the way I speak whene
~NOAH'S POV~ I fell to the floor with a thud and a dull ache rang in the back of my head. My heart pounded against my ribcage and it took the intervention of the goddess for me not to have a stroke. "Is that all you got, Richards?" I jolted up at the sound of that high-pitched voice and resumed the battle stance I held minutes ago. "I'm not even tired.” The smirk on her face dropped and her pouty lips drew into a line. In this pack, there are two important rules that you must follow in your life. The first is to never mess with the alpha and the second is to never anger Ava Miller. And I didn't just anger her, I pissed her off. She circled me as a predator would do to its prey and I did the same, both our eyes became instruments of observation and intimidation. The arena cleared in seconds, the tension in our bubble drew the attention of everyone else and in no time whispers began to fly. "Don't they ever get tired of this?" "How can they get so serious five minutes into t
~CIARA'S POV~ A friend in need is a friend indeed.From the days of my childhood, I have never been able to understand what this phrase meant.Does it mean that it is only a friend who is in trouble that is a real friend or is it something else entirely different? I pondered on this very riddle and I had almost given up on it.Until now.Now I know what it means by a friend in need is a friend indeed. What it means to have a friend who is there for you in tough times, What it means to have someone willing to sacrifice everything for you.What it means to have someone like Ava Miller. That girl is a rare gem and anyone would be lucky to have someone like her.Just as she had proven to me.~FLASHBACK~"I'm pregnant, Ava."Mockery. My demons were mocking me, the words they spoke revolved along the lines of me being a worthless piece of flesh that no one cares about and I tried not to believe them, I did but as I saw Ava's face get pal
~CIARA'S POV~I sat in a pool of blood that used to be the fetus in my belly and my heart was saddened with each second that passed. I have cried till I can cry no more and cursed till I could curse no more, but nothing I did could ease the ache I felt in my chest.Because nothing can bring it back to me.I lowered my head and the tears that I thought had dried up flowed from my eyes like an angered river and a sob left my lips.How could you do this to me, goddess?I looked up into the ceiling and the anguish in my soul fuelled the anger in my chest.How could you forsake me after all I have been through? How could you take the only silver lining I had in this stormy condition you gave me for life?How could you let the evils of this world take my only joy?And how could you sit there and do nothing while the innocent people suffer for what they know nothing about.My heart raced and my breathing got ragged but my head was still hel
~CIARA'S POV~ ~FLASHBACK~ "Auntie, please could you help me get my bike?" I turned from my work and stared into the pleading eyes of my neighbor's child. I've seen enough teary eyes to know the real from the fake but if there is one thing I learned from all my years of being a teacher, is that when a child wants something he will go to any length to get it, until he does. And this little boy wants something. I smiled at the mischief that blended with the innocence of his eyes and I didn't have the heart to deny the child before me of his request, even though he had an ulterior motive because every child has an ulterior motive. To explore the life that we adults are too broken to enjoy. So I set off into the forest, to find the bike of a child who would lose it again. I moved with haste, determined to make it back in time before Nana woke up so I could prepare our meal. Except, I didn't go back. I couldn't go back. Not when I was attacked by wolves who were double my size and who
~NOAH'S POV~Perspiration coated my skin and heavy pants fell from my lips as I trained by myself in the field. It's been a week since I last visited that vermin and the anger I felt then still burns brightly in my soul. Who broke my toy before I could? Who had what it took to break the spirit that had been trying to shatter for weeks? But why does it bother me? I should be thrilled that she has lost her will to resist the truth. I should be ecstatic that I am one step closer to getting my revenge on that cursed woman. And yet…why does it bother me that her eyes have lost their shine? Why did my heart ache when I didn't hear her perverted comments? Why was I consumed with guilt when her broken voice bounced off the damn walls of that cursed cell?I fell to my knees in agony as a sharp pain ran through my chest. My breathing grew frantic and my heart pounded against my ribcage as dark spots st
~CIARA'S POV~I looked at the bandages wrapped around my wrists and thighs. Frustration sat in the pit of my stomach and my hands turned to fists.It has been a week since my first suicide attempt and every night as I'm about to escape this cruel world someone crawls into my cell like the coward they are and treats my injuries.But it wasn't just my wounds they took care of. The culprit also took it upon himself to clean my cell, leave me food, and change me into fresh clothes and underwear. Disgusted that a total stranger had seen me in a vulnerable state, I moved in every position possible trying to scratch my skin against the floor in hopes that their vile touch would leave the surface of my skin. It was pointless. Because the only part of my body that touched the floor was my feet. I wasn't moved by this. I wasn't moved by the sheer possibility that there might be someone who cared for me in this wicked world.
~CIARA'S POV~I sobbed bitterly into the bandages around my wrists. My heart ached from the tidal wave of pain that washed over my being and my soul wished to leave my body to call out to his, hoping to ease the pain we both felt. But I didn't let it. As I wailed in agony on the concrete floor, the metal door cracked open and I looked up expecting to see Noah standing before me with a look of longing in his eyes. But there was no yearning look or sad cobalt eyes to get lost in and there was no Noah Richard to cry with. There was only an ominous presence and the hatred-filled eyes of the bitch who took my peanut from me.Ava. "It's been a while, Ciara," Her voice dripped with hostility and I growled at the negative energy that oozed from her pores. She raised her hands above her head in mock surrender and a smirk crawled up her face. "Relax, Ciara. I just wanted to say hello to my best frien