CHAPTER FIVE: UNSPOKEN WORDS...

I look at Rex across the room, my heart a tangled mess of confusion, desire, and regret. I want to be angry with him, to tell him that I’ve been hurt, that I’ve been betrayed. But I can’t.

Because the truth is, a part of me still wants him. Desperately.

I swallow hard, trying to steady my breath, but my pulse betrays me. It quickens every time I feel his gaze on me.

“Why do you look at me like that?” I finally ask, my voice shaky, though I try to sound composed.

He raises an eyebrow, his lips curling into a knowing smile. “Like what, Vanya?”

“You know exactly what I mean,” I snap, not giving him the satisfaction of knowing that my words are laced with more vulnerability than I intend. “You think you can just waltz back into my life after everything that’s happened and… what? Pick up where we left off?”

His expression softens, but there’s something else in his eyes—something darker, more pained. “I don’t expect you to forget what happened, or to forgive me easily, but I won’t sit here and pretend like I don’t want you back in my life, Vanya. I want to fix things. I need to fix this.”

Fix this. The words hang in the air between us, and I’m not sure what to do with them. I feel the heat rising in my chest, the anger bubbling up alongside the flickering embers of the old affection I’ve buried for so long.

“You think it’s that simple?” I ask, my voice low, barely above a whisper. “You think you can just walk in here, apologize, and everything’s supposed to go back to normal?”

He doesn’t answer right away. Instead, he steps closer, his presence overwhelming, his mere proximity making it difficult to think clearly. “Vanya, nothing is simple. But I’m asking for the chance to prove to you that I’m not the same person I was back then.”

I meet his gaze, and the pain in his eyes hits me like a physical blow. The vulnerability I see in him is so raw, so real, that I can’t ignore it, even if I wanted to.

“Back then…” I start, but my voice falters. My mind floods with memories—of him, of us, of what happened before everything fell apart.

“Don’t do this,” he says, a slight tremor in his voice, as though he’s afraid to go back there, too. “We can’t change the past, Vanya. But we can work on the future. You and me. Together.”

The past can’t be erased, no matter how much I want to forget. “You left me, Rex. You left me when I needed you most. You walked away from us, from me.”

His jaw tightens, and I can see the guilt and regret flash across his face. “I didn’t want to leave you. You have to believe that.”

“Then why did you?” I’m almost shouting now, my emotions spiraling out of control. I take a deep breath, trying to calm myself. “You left me without an explanation, without even a word. I woke up one day, and you were just… gone. And you want me to trust you now?”

Rex stands still, his eyes intense as he watches me, absorbing my every word. When he speaks again, his voice is softer, almost hesitant. “I never wanted to hurt you, Vanya. The decision I made—everything I did—it wasn’t because of you. It was because of the mess I was in. I was protecting you. I thought I was doing the right thing.”

“The right thing?” I scoff, the bitterness slipping into my tone. “You thought leaving me behind was the right thing?”

He runs a hand through his hair, frustration evident in every line of his face. “I was trying to protect you from the mess I had made, Vanya. I didn’t want you dragged into it. I thought I was doing you a favor by disappearing.”

I shake my head, unable to process his words. “You think you were protecting me? You think leaving me without a word was the right thing to do?” The pain, the hurt that has festered for so long, is finally spilling out. “Do you have any idea what it was like, Rex? I had no one. I was alone.”

The words fall between us like a chasm, and for a moment, neither of us speaks. I stare at him, my heart breaking again, realizing how much of me still wants him, still aches for him, even though he tore me apart once before.

“I’m sorry,” he says, and this time, there’s no hesitation in his voice. “I was wrong, Vanya. I should have never left you like that. I should have never made that decision for you.”

For the first time, I see him, really see him, and I understand. He made that choice to protect me, but it wasn’t his decision to make. I didn’t need protection. I needed him. And now, as I stand here before him, it feels like I’m facing a truth I’ve been too afraid to accept.

“I don’t know if I can forgive you for what you did,” I say quietly, my voice trembling. “But I’m not asking you to fix everything overnight. I just need time, Rex. I need to learn to trust you again.”

He nods, his eyes never leaving mine. “I’ll give you all the time you need. I won’t rush you. I won’t force you.”

I feel the weight of his words, and for the first time in years, I believe him. His resolve is firm, but his gaze is soft, vulnerable. “But I’m not going anywhere,” he adds. “And I won’t let you go either. Not this time.”

I stare at him for a long moment, trying to sort through my emotions. The truth is, I’m scared. Scared of opening myself up to him again, scared of being hurt again. But at the same time, there’s a part of me that doesn’t want to let him go, that doesn’t want to deny what’s been building between us ever since he walked back into my life.

I take a deep breath and finally nod. “Fine,” I say, my voice steady despite the whirlwind of emotions inside me. “I’ll continue with the contract marriage. We’ll honor the terms we agreed on. After all, it’ll only last for a year, Rex. Then, we both get what we want. And that's it.”

A flicker of something crosses his face—hope, maybe—but he doesn’t argue. He steps closer to me, his hand gently brushing my cheek, and my breath catches in my throat.

“I’ll take whatever you’re willing to give, Vanya,” he whispers, his lips barely brushing mine. “Even if it takes a lifetime.”

My heart races as he leans in, his kiss soft at first, tender, like he’s afraid I’ll break. And maybe I will. But as I feel his lips on mine, I realize something: I’m already halfway broken, and he’s the only one who can put me back together.

The kiss deepens, and all the years of longing, of pain, of regret, flood between us. And for just a moment, it’s like we’re the only two people in the world. The past no longer matters.

But as we pull apart, a new kind of vulnerability settles in my chest.

There’s so much I haven’t said. So much I still haven’t told him.

As I look into his eyes, I know the truth I’m holding back, the one secret I swore I would never share.

If only he knew I was four months pregnant when he left.