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CHAPTER EIGHTY SIX
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2024-10-29 19:42:56The wide space of Ryder's serene office and the quietness surrounding him was what he'd lived for since moving to the ever busy New York City, the all famous big apple.
He'd worked his way up to the top and then built himself this haven of an office, just like he'd done with his house, to hide from the ever present hustle and bustle and the incessant noise from the outside.
It had been everything he'd dreamed of, everything he'd craved, his peace only ever disturbed by the beeping of his computer system or his secretary's voice over the intercom.
But in the months since bring back, it didn't seem like what he wanted anymore.
He expected to see her everywhere he looked, hear her beautiful laughter ring out in the room and have her sweet smile lit up her entire face with that glow he's seen no where else.
It was worse in the evenings when he'd go home, hoping to see her sprawled out on the bed in one of his many spare rooms only to be welcomed into e
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The apartment was small, way smaller than Bree had imagined it would be, but she'd gotten it for what counted as a good price around this side of the country.There was a wet patch on the wall that she worried about, the windows were too small to suit her and the bathroom....well, she can barely fit inside it, but again this was the best of the apartments she'd seen and it's not like she can back out now because she's paid for it.She liked the pastel color though, and it was the one with the least things that needed fixing, do she'd settled for it then."The contacts of a plumber and an electrician are pasted in the kitchen in case you need either, most things work well and if you need any help, you use the last number on that list. I'm out."She stood back and watched as the middle aged agent that had helped her get the place stalked out of the room.The place came with furnitures and fittings, so she didn't have any real moving to do to settle i
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The visit to the obstetrician was better than Bree had thought it'd be in fact.She'd managed to squeeze that into her schedule after all because it was important to her to know that her baby was fine and doing okay.She'd been worried that all the stress from the moving and the new job and her crazy hours were affecting the baby, but to her relief, the obstetrician had promised her the baby was still in perfect condition and was doing just fine, even though she'd advised her to slow her pace a bit though.Just to keep things the way they were, and then she'd prescribed a couple more supplements to buy and had taken her fees in cash.Nothing made Bree happier than knowing she wasn't already screwing up in this whole motherhood gig just chucked at her.It'd kill her to know that something she did affected the baby negatively, she might never be able to forgive herself if that happens.At least she always rememberes to take her calcium tabs an
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It wasn't a surprise to Bree why Margo Pat's for this talented woman to be her stylist.While she wasn't the best with her attitude, she was excused because she made up for it with the skills of her hand.The art she painted on Bree's face was flawless and in honesty, it made her feel really beautiful.It's been a long time since she's even paid her face such attention.It didn't matter if she had only a dabbing of powder on her face and a smidgen of lipstick on her lip or nothing at all, she had nobody she was trying to impress or anything.It's been a while since she's actually paid thought to such details even, she had more important things like her baby on the way to think of.The woman that stared back at her from the small dressing mirror in her room was gorgeous, confident and a lot more.For one night, she was going to let herself feel good about being her without considering how rough it's been and how bad things were getting
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Margo didn't show up to the event until much later and when she did, she had a smile ready for Bree.While it didn't make much sense, it only meant the man she had her heart set on for the night was present somewhere in the room and she'd seen him.Bree had no idea who that was and how she'd done it, but she took the credit with a smile of her own, while thanking the good heavens for small mercies.Honestly, why the other woman felt the need to be in pursuit of some man who probably didn't even care that she existed eluded her.For reals, her boss was a bomb tonight, smoking hot in her high slit transparent gown with her hourglass figure only covered from the apex of her thighs to her breasts.If anything, she was drawing a lot of traffick, except she already had her eyes set.Bree wasn't one to judge though, she knew what that felt like and didn't believe she was one to dish it out too.The event was focused on raising money for supp
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God, it was him.Bree knee that even before she lifted her head finally to have a look at him.Seeing him again, after all these months slammed her in the face harder than anything else in her whole entire life ever have.She just stood there like a fool, staring at him with a roller coaster of emotions barreling through her.She hated him do much right now, yet her heart swelled with the intensity of the love she's tried to bury in the months since he'd left her without so much as a word.He'd just upped and gone, no explanations, no goodbye and she wouldn't have known if she hadn't marched up to his doors to demand answers in why there was suddenly two million dollars sitting in her account.She'd meant that little to him, probably still does, and that was why it broke her heart piece by piece to finally be standing before him and not have the words to haul at him, to explain the emotions slamming her insides hard."Cupcake."
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Bree was thankful for the bottle of water Ryder gave her to rinse her mouth out, but she took her time doing that because she wasn't ready for the impending conversation she knew they'd have.She wasn't ready to talk about what had happened with them, she didn't want to ask about the things he'd done and the ones he'd accused her of.She just wanted to know that he's been fine in all these months of being apart.She wanted to know too, if he'd missed her even a tinsy little bit while at it, if he'd paid her any thoughts at all.Those were the things she wanted to know about, but she knew that would have to wait until they got the past behind them.At the moment, she couldn't hide forever behind rinsing out her mouth, she had to face him sometime, and maybe talk about the pregnancy that wasn't trying to stay hidden beneath her gown at all.She was wearing it proudly like a fucking badge and she knew he's seen it and was contemplating ho
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Her box laid open in the middle of their bed while Bree went around the room, taking anything she thought she'd need and throwing them inside it.She's procrastinated this packing for a while now but it needed to be done and as a matter of fact now that Ryder was still at the office.She didn't want him to come home and find she was the only one delaying the vacation he'd taken the whole month to plan for them.Yeah, a vacation, more like a honeymoon except the kids, Karen and Issy, the new nanny, were coming too.In the couple of years that's passed, a lot has happened, none of which she regretted one bit.Not learning how damaged how husband had been before he waltzed into her life or that his plan had been to use her as pawn in his schemes to get revenge, none of it.That last part had hit harder than the rest, knowing that she could have so easily suffered for the crimes of someone who didn't even give two piece of flying shit about her.She'd taken her time to digest that piece
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"You know you'll never hurt Xander, right?" She asked him quietly, and honestly, she had no idea what that did for him.He didnt know that, he's been afraid of that since he knew he was expecting a soon too and maybe, just maybe, that has affected his relationship with his baby.He wondered if she'd noticed, all the times he'd opt to hold Lexie instead of him, afraid that whatever had made his father get so awfully abusive to him might be nestled somewhere inside him.What if it was a bad trait living inside him too, waiting to grow and make him a monster too?It was the sole reason he hadn't wanted kids, ever, but Bree had come into his life and many things had changed with her presence.She'd made him want things that he had no right wanting, made him be live he deserved some good things in his life and now here they were, with two kids, one of them a boy......just like he'd been."I need you to understand this Ry, you'll never be like your father. You are a good man, one of the best
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Bree knew that Ryder had gone through a lot growing up, hrll she knew he had had it tough growing up and has dealt with his fair share of traumatic experience, but abuse at ten?That was a lot to digest.It must have been so difficult for him, a different kind of hell even to loose the one person that genuinely loved him and have the other person who was supposed to love him now resort to abusing and molesting him instead.She couldn't stop the tears that rolled down the sides of her face as she listened to him tell it in that voice of his that couldn't choose between indifference, anger and pain.She could imagine him, so innocent, so small, so hurt and yet do afraid of the monster he calls father.No wonder his father snd hers had gotten so along together and had even made it as close friends.They were both bad pedophilic men, cut from the same nasty cloth.".......and just when I thought it couldn't get worse, he started bringing his friends over."Her breath caught in her throat s
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Before he got into bed, Ryder had already made up his mind to tell Bree everything that she wanted to know about him and why he turned out the way he did.He didn't want a fight like the last time, that had been an absolute hell, and he didnt want to let his past keep winning.He wanted to get it out there, he needed to.This morning had shown him that, he might never be over those horrid incidents but it would be better to know he tried.And if he had to share it with anyone, then why not her? Why not the woman he was ready to spend the rest of his life with?Even though he hasn't popped the question, he knew that was his truth, he's been ready for that step for a while now and he'd ask her anytime from now."Baby please...."Her voice called his mind back from wandering off.He opened his mouth to, but the words weren't coming, his tongue sat heavy in his mouth, unmoving, while the forbidden images he's fought so hard to keep at bay flooded his head.His hand that held her close sque
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Bree didnt know which bothered her the most this night between a tantrum throwing Xander who wouldn't calm down to anything and a Ryder she'd watched all day start to recoil into himself.But she'd be damned if he thought that she'd let him do that to both of them again.Not this time around, no.It was surprising still how fast his mood had swung from after she found him in the sittingroom with the last people on earth she expected to see today.He'd been okay at first, talking with them and even playing smug with her when she'd called him out on knowing they had guests snd not mentioning.But as the discussion in the room had settled more between herself and Larry, encompassing how much things had changed back home from when she left up until now and stuff, she'd noticed the start of his withdrawal. By the time Larry had come around filling her in on what had been decided on the case of her father, Nathan and Brandon, he'd been about ready to combust.She'd noticed, and before she c
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The rest of the day passed in a blur for Ryder, centered around the two new men in the house and the babies they came to visit, mostly.It was nice to see Bree around other people that wasn't him and the kids, to see her around her own crowd.She needed this, he knew, because in these past months it's been just himself, the kids and Karen in her life, which wasn'tideal for anyone really.It must have been difficult for her, not having anyone or anywhere to go, especially in the times he'd been an absolute asshole to her and she must have needed someone to vent to, but she'd endured it without complaint.He hated that she had though, she should have said something, done something, but she hadn't and he couldn't even lay the blames at her doorstep now.He'd been all that she'd had here, away from her family, biological and adopted, and he'd fucked up royally.These thoughts and accusations in his head while he watched her bloom like a flower having its first taste of sunshine in a while
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The memory of what happened in the bathroom stayed with Bree while she had her soak in the tub and an accompanying nice bath, making her flush every now and again.She never expected it to feel this good again, but Ryder had broken every of her doubts with how easily he'd made her body sing and how intensely he'd made her come.Her legs still felt shaky even after time had passed and she was out of the one room that now held a different memory for her.She'd worried that he didnt want her anymore since the babies came and mentally, she blamed it on her postpartum body and the scar that lined her flesh, the scar that marked her first step into motherhood.And those thoughts had almost made her hate it and herself too.But this morning, barely an hour ago, he'd shown her that she'd been worrying for nothing really.Her body ached sweetly even as she got dressed up, still humming from his sinful ministrations.The room was empty which means he'd taken the babies with him on his way out, s
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"Then stay."That sentence, made only of two words, in that moment, sounded more powerful than any argument Ryder could think of.He wanted to, fuck, he's dreamed of staying, like she was asking him to and doing the things she was suggesting, but the fears he'd parroted to her were real for him.He didn't want to hurt her, shes been through enough in recent times to add that to her plate and he knew he might with how rough this could easily turn.She had no idea what she did to him, to his control and without it, he could do things that both of them would only regret later....While his head turned and tossed the pros and cons of indulging their flaming desires and fantasies right now, his eyes followed her body's slow descent until she dropped to her knees before him.She looked like an angel to him, in fact to him she was one, just naughtier and more tempting to his already thin control.Her dainty fingers reached up to the waistband of the sweatpants he had on and he just watched as
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"Ryder.......please......"Bree could hardly believe the voice saying these words belonged to her.She sounded so different to her own self and that was probably because it's been a long while since she's had Ryder touch her like this.She was almost beginning to think they'd hit a drought in their sex life before this morning happened.The no sex rule made sense during her recuperation period she could understand, but even before that and then after, he'd still been reluctant to touch her in an suggestive way.It had bothered her enough to make her believe it was because she looked hideous to him now with her scars and all, but the eyes that had taken in every inch of her body just minutes ago had cleared her of worries.He wanted her snd he wasn't hiding that either.She arched her body as his fingers found her other nipple, catching it between his forefinger and his thumb and rubbing it mercilessly till she thought she'd come from the pleasure.Initially, she'd been afraid she might
