Chapter 5

I am looking for Desmond Brown,I believe he was brought in for a gunshot wound.

I told the receptionist once I got to the front desk.

How are you related to him ,she asked.

He is my father

"Give me a minute."She paused while she types on her computer.

He is in the Er getting prepped for surgery.

Just go straight ahead at the end you will see the emergency door.

"Thanks''.

I turned around and follow her instructions.

My heart beating with every step I take.He's going to be okay.He'll recover soon .

Despite our differences I wanted him to be well

We didn't have a good relationship but he is so loving towards my son .

I knocked at the door,pushed it and entered.

I could see my mother's eyes red from too much of crying.

I took a sit next to her ,what happened and how is he doing?

He was shot on his way back from the store.They are preparing him for surgery..her voice shaking..

I hugged her just to console her.Dont worry,father is the strongest man I know .

He will be okay .I try to reassure her

She started to cry again

Ten minutes later they brought out my father.He was dressed in a hospital gown,

I watch my mum cries over him.

He weakly wipes her tears but they keep falling.

She kissed him and they wheel him away.

As each minute passes,I grew more anxious and so my mum.

Two and half hour later,the doctor comes to the waiting room.

From the look on his face,I just knew that my father didn't make it.I guess my mum sensed the same thing and she started to sob

We tried everything we could but we were unable to save him.

I am sorry for your loss.

Those were the words of the doctor

My mum bursted into a deep cry..I caught her before she fell .

Sadly father was gone.

We both sat on the hospital chair.She was still sobbing and couldn't be consoled.

My heart broke for her.I understand it is not easy losing the man you loved in such an unexpected way.

I was still in shock as I expected him to make a full recovery but now he was dead and I really do not have an idea of how or what to fell.

Even though he never showed his love towards me I loved him.after all he was my father so how could I not love him.

Part of me wants to walk away and never looked back but I just pitied my mum.

Are you Desmond Browns daughter?

A nurse appeared asking.

I nod my head affirmatively.

You are needed.

There is a need to carry out autopsy on the body so you are needed she softly said probably trying to be mindful of my feelings..

She left me to make my decision.Despite his neglect,he still provided for me so I owe him.With that,I made a decision that I would give him a proper burial after and just forgive him.

I asked for the direction of the morgue.i saw where he was laid .

Few tears dropped from my eyes.

I shook off the heaviness that settled over my heart .

Have you ever felt like your heart has been put in a mincer?Looking at my siblings .I feel like my heart has been shredded into pieces.

The pain that was tearing through me was unimaginable.

I wanted to run away,to look away but I couldn't.

I was tired and all I wanted was to go to sleep and forget everything.

I will cry myself to sleep then wake up feeling refreshed and ready to face the next few days .

With that,I walked away heading towards the car,I got into my car and drove home.

Michael called me that Noah was with his mother..

I didn't want to deal yet with another person that hated me .

He was safe,so I will just pick him up tomorrow.

I got home in no time.Being there alone just reminded me how truly alone I am

Fresh tears started falling down my face

I am so tired of crying yet I can't seem to stop .If only I could go back in time and change things.

Maybe right now I would be married to a man that actually loves me as much as I do.

But that's the things about the past.Once it's happened ,you might never be able to change it..

It is three days since Dad passed on and everyone is still in turmoil ,It came as shock to everyone.He was very well known and loved by alot of people.

So practically everyone was feeling his loss.

I have not since Michael since that day though he called multiple times but I intentionally ignored his calls.

He was probably all loved up and in Rachael his lovers arms right now.

She has probably even moved in with him already.

I didn't need him rubbing that in my face

Shaking off those bitter thoughts ,I got into the shower to freshen up and prepare for the day.

I went to pick up Noah from Micheal mums place.

Noah was looking sad,what is it my love?

I asked him

I miss him so much,We were supposed to go fishing this Saturday

His voice shaking and my heart breaks at his pain.

Apparently,he has been told about my father passing..

He may have been a terrible father to me but he was a great grandad to my son.

I hugged him and whispered some comforting words to his ears.

I know how much you misses him but he is with the angels now watching over us.

Remember he can never be truly gone because he lives in here.

I touched his chest .

Besides ,he wouldn't want you crying.Do you want to make him sad?

I gently asked and he shakes his head.

I have few good memories with him but Noah had a whole lot .

I was going to help him hold tight to those

I wipe the tears from his face and stood up..

Now let's go give your Grandpa a proper senthforth.

He gave me a small smile and with that we left.

It was time to say goodbye.