Shadows Between Us.

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(SONG RECOMMENDATION: SWEATER WEATHER SPED UP  BY THE  NEIGHBORHOOD)

SETH.

I paced around in the hallway, my eyes peering in the direction, and I swear this wasn't me by any means; I was fucking insane, but as much as I wanted to cross the road over to his apartment and break the door in. I just couldn't.

I didn't want to risk him getting more mad at me, and I knew he needed some time to himself. Returning home, it took hours before  I finally fell asleep, and when I had woken up, the first thing. That settled in my mind was him.

Bringing us to our first class, and as much as I'd question myself to leave and stop stalking the door, my other senses just wanted to see him, check on him to ensure he hadn't done anything stupid last night, not that my fair choices these past few days had been any better or reasonable either.

Checking the time on my phone I bounced from knee to knee. Miguel and I shared first class together which was due in the next seven minutes 

I froze. Miguel walked into the hallway with books to his side, dressed in a purple turtleneck top and black fitted pants, blue sneakers to go with it, and his wrist had a silver band and a ring to match. 

He looked so beautiful,

My eyes had trailed off to his other arm, and a morbid frown settled on my face seeing he had his arm bandaged, he cut himself.

My eyes matched with his, and he stood frozen in the hallway, clutching his book even tighter. None of us had moved for a painfully brief second . When he did, he stormed away, taking a curt turn toward the  library, we had geometry this morning so why the fuck was he heading to the library. I never missed class; neither did Miguel.

But, fuck it!.

I waited for the nut job all morning, and this is what he did? Storm off as soon as he saw me?.

Seething with frustration I stormed after him, he glanced backwards seeing I was hot on his heels he increased his pace as well. Darting across the floors, my insides churned as I watched him move and although I tried not to close in the space between us in order not to cause attention, my desperation  was getting the best of me.

“Damn it!”  he cursed as his feets caught a tile and he  slipped, and his books fell from his grasp; hastily, he picked them up when I yanked him by the arm, shoving him directly into the empty lab behind us.

I bolted the door locked. Letting down the window blinds before turning to stare at him, we were both panting heavily, trying to catch our breaths 

“So?” I asked, folding my arms over my chest while he stood there avoiding meeting my gaze, I glanced back at his arm, pushing back the urge to reach for it. I flooded my gaze back to his face.

He had his lower lip tucked between his teeths, his freckles more pronounced and ears redder than I had last recalled them to be.

“Were you waiting around for me?” He asked. Trying to sound calm although his voice came  out shaky and broken…and ..well… hoarse, like he'd cried out his lungs the entire night 

Im struck by a pang of pain, he didn't need to cry over a bastard like embry, he fucking deserved better,I knew I'd make embry pay for what he had done,my business or not, I'd deal with that fuck face myself  and no one could  stop me from hurting him.

“Yeah. But it seems like running off is what you're best at …choose a better game than hockey, tried sprinting before? Those 1000 meters shit?” I asked, corking up my brows, my eyes fell onto his lips again as he released them and let out a heaved sigh..

“See, we kissed..no big deal seth, please don't make things harder than it is, don't wait for me, don't stalk me and about yesterday, Embry was a douchebag. I appreciate you for stepping in but please, don't ever do that again.  forget it happened, we aren’t even friends.”

The words stung than  it ought to, pain stabbed into my sides as I listened, this was terrible, I hated it, why was i dismissed  easily?.

Why didn't I mean anything to him? At least I wanted to, for fucks sake I didnt want anything else or anyone else but him.

He was one thing entirely I'd go out of line for and this is what he'd do?.

“You are right, we aren't even friends.” I repeated and he nodded. Not a single expression on his face, my eyes traced back towards his injured hands and a stab of pain had shook me 

“Fuck this, we wont be friends,but it must mean some closure miguel, we played on the same team  for years and attended same classes, so tell me, who hurt you?” I asked, reaching for his arms. Letting every last bit of self respect go down the fucking drain.

“Don't touch me!” He yanked his hands away from me, before pushing me away. I staggered a few steps back, my eyes widened from shock.

“Miguel I was only trying to h….”

“Don't do anything seth!” He snapped back, cutting into my words.

“Don't you get it?” he asked again, grabbing his books from the table.

“I don't need help, I dont want to be friends with a bastard like you, the kiss was bullshit, and I'm dying to forget it dont bring it up again please, For fucks sake, stay the fuck away from me… I bloody loathe you.”  he retorted, peeling himself towards the door.

He stopped hands resting on the knob while he spared me one last glance.

“aren't you straight? You've been whiny way more than I am, and maybe it's bad that I'm gay, that everyone thinks I'm the proper boy, the one with actual self restraint. 

Did you think for once the reality would be when it's found out that you the school's jock and typical bad boy is gay? That you go around kissing boys? Stop fucking around, I  know games you are playing, but if you think I'd  forget that you are seth  then you're a bloody fool” he said in a cold tone.

A scowl hidden on his face as he slammed the door shut, and I heard the rustling of his feet away from the door, the bell ran. It was time for class, but I didn't move; my heart squeezed against my chest as I replayed the words he said in a loop.

He was right…

I was seth mallory,

What would my dead dad say if he'd seen that I had been bitching like a fucking fag? I was the straight one, the clever one... How the fuck had I forgotten myself in the fucking web of Miguel?.

I rubbed my palms against my chest, closed my eyes shut as I exhaled; the pain of what seemed like rejection pricked around my heart like barbed wire and squeezed, then squeezed until the pain changed to rage.

I picked up my bag and tossed it around my shoulders, popped out my phone as I texted Jeremy, my roommate.

Me: I need to get away from school; any ideas for fun?.

I waited less than a second before three dots appeared on the screen, and Jeremy responded.

Jeremy: Fuck man, what are you up to? You never skip school.

His response jolted a guilt in me, I felt sour, maybe I didn't want to, but I'd be damned if I seated in the same classroom with that asshat who thought he was better than everyone, damn me for thinking I cared, damn me for bothering myself, I didn't. He was right all I wanted was to fuck with his mind..at least that was what I told myself.

Me: none of your fucking business , any ideas or nah?.

I asked again and the next text had popped in almost immediately,

It was a picture. He was at the bar down the street with a few other friends,  points  to  Jeremy to miss school.

Jeremy: A little party ,hurry.

I pocketed the phone before storming out the door, If I had to skip class to prove a point to bloody  miguel I fucking would .

I wasn't obsessed with him and if he wanted me to act like he didn't exist I could bloody do it without breaking a sweat,two could play the game…we were better off enemies and we'd remain just that.