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Chapter 11
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2021-10-21 17:54:43I've been awake for a while, but I didn't want to get up. My mind is being clouded with so many uncertainties. Questions that I don't know if I should find out or just let it be.
I sighed and glanced at Atlas who's at the other side of the bed. His back was facing me and he looked like he's still sleeping.
It's such a dream to see the both of us sleeping on the same bed. Just like the other couples, we also had a normal relationship. We may fight, but in the end, we'll still go home to each other's arms.
I hope everything's that easy. We wouldn't have hurt each other. The wound in my heart wouldn't have deepened. I wouldn't have endured the little love I've been begging for.
I sighed and looked at the bedside
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"Olive, my dear! The house looks so beautiful."I smiled when I saw the happiness in Atlas' mom's face. Even if Atlas and I fought earlier, I still picked the best decorations based on my taste. No word had been uttered in the whole duration of our stroll around the mall.I chose to shut my mouth up because I know that every word I'll say, it will just be neglected by Atlas. He already concluded everything. His mind is closed for my explanations. It hurts, especially when I hoped that we'd at least treat each other better.I shook my head and sighed. I'm still the same woman that can be easily swayed by the man I love. I quickly hope for something, and even if I'm mad, I still can't deny the fact that I love Atlas. My heart has been a slave for him that after ten years
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I drank until my heart's content. I have a high alcohol tolerance so I can still walk straight even if I already drank a lot. My sight was still clear, although my head started to hurt.I glanced at my wristwatch. It's exactly twelve midnight but the bar is still alive. Atlas and Trina already left. Although it pained me, I still stared at them as they walked out of the bar.I'm a masochist for I endured all the pain. I already accepted the fact that I would never win Atlas. I already lost even if the fight hadn't started.I shook my head and smiled bitterly. I've been inside my car for quite a time now but I don't know where I should go home, or if I still have a home. I don't know where to place myself anymore. What am I supposed to do?
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My forehead crumpled into a frown. I fought his stare with the same intensity. Even if his grip was too tight and painful, I didn't back down. I forced myself to show that I'm not scared of him."Why, Atlas? Did you ask for my permission when you had your mistress?" I stopped and chuckled. "Are you scared that you'll see your own ghost?" I said sarcastically."You can't do that to me, Olive." His voice had a threat. He gripped my arm tighter."If I want to cheat, I will cheat, Atlas. I don't need approval from you!" I emphasized my words. I forced myself to get off from Atlas, and I didn't fail. I abruptly pushed him, which made him lose his balance a bit. I took that opportunity to enter my car.I instantly locked
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For the past years I have felt immense sadness everytime Christmas is celebrated, but right now, the sadness has doubled. This is probably the gloomiest Christmas for me. I have been silently crying for the past few days, secluding myself inside my room to ponder on things that I'm supposed to do."Olive! You've been zoning out since earlier. Is there a problem, dear?"I looked at Atlas' mom. She was beside me and was very busy. We are both busy doing our Noche Buena for later. She was chopping the meat while I was cutting some veggies. Atlas' mom seemed very happy that I felt guilty for feeling this way.I stopped what I was doing and put out a faint smile. "Nothing really, Mama. I'm just sad that you're going home tomorrow. The house will be too silent again," I lied
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Silence ensued between the both of us. I looked at him intently while he was looking at me too. We're both sensing each other, waiting for who will start the topic.My heart is aching but I need to be tough in front of him. I need to show him that I can live without him. I'm already tired of being hurt over and over again. I'm tired of hoping. And I think, this is the best decision I have ever made ever since we became together."I'm sorry for caging you." My voice cracked but I still managed to walk back on him. But after a few steps, I felt him grab my wrist. I stopped in my tracks and turned to him, forehead crumpled."Is this about that attorney?" Atlas asked.I shook my head.. "This is about us, Atlas. This is
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The night was silent. Only my muffled sobs can be heard throughout the house. I was punching Atlas' chest with my right hand while I was holding his shirt with my left hand. I don't even know if my punches had strength. All I know is that I want Atlas to feel the pain he made me feel for ten years. For making me feel worthless.I cried my heart out. I wasn't ashamed even if he saw the weak side I've been hiding for so long. I just wanted to cry in all the pain and suffering I've endured since the moment I decided to love Atlas. From the moment I forced our marriage.I am dying and hurting inside from the pain that only I can understand. It's unbearable for me but I am trying. I want to take this opportunity to do something.in favor of both of us. That's why I don't understand why he doesn't want to let me go even if we're just
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They said that New Year is the happiest day of the year. It's the time we welcome the new hope of tomorrow, of another chance to live. Another year to start anew.Maybe it was like that for others. But for me, it's just a normal day. Normal day of being alone, together with the weariness I've been carrying for ten years. From the moment I loved a man who didn't love me back.It's been a week since I left. One week of being alone and miserable. One week of trying to heal my broken heart. One week of hiding and pretending to be fine. A week of thinking things and reflecting. But, things aren't that easy for me. The inevitable pain is still vivid that everytime I remember it, I can't help but cry in silence.I sighed and shook my head. Trying to forget the situation that
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I almost can't hear the bustling streets and the traffic in EDSA. I can't breathe in anticipation caused by the anxiety of why we're currently in Dad's car.My heart was beating wildly. It was so fast and loud that I didn't seem to know what to do. I was speechless when my Dad asked me to go out with him. I hurriedly changed my clothes, leaving Jenny who's peacefully sleeping in my unit. I only left her a note. I know it's crazy trusting a person that you just met but my instinct is telling me to. The fact is—I can see myself in Jenny. The pain and suffering. We may have different sentiments but we are the same. We are wounded. We are wounded by the man that we love.While on the road, I can't help but to steal glances at Dad. The anger in his face was still evident, but I know that. As much as possible, he wanted t
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TEARS OF A WIFE Epilogue
Starry starry night Paint your palette blue and gray Look out on a summer's day With eyes that know the darkness on my soul Now I understand What you tried to say to me How you suffered your sanity And how you tried set them free They did not listen They did not know how Perhaps they listen now I immediately reached for my phone underneath my pillow when I heard my ringtone. I was still half asleep as I stared at its screen. I pouted as I saw the time. I'm already thirty minutes late to my destination. It's already nine in the morning and I just woke up. I put the phone on my bedside table and tried to get up. I carefully got off the bed and stretched my body before walking to my small window. I smiled instantly when the small but beautiful garden greeted me. There are different types of flowers and roses blooming. My succulents looked beautiful as they were displayed in my small backyard. "Good morning, sunshine!" I cheerfully said as if they could understand me. I even s
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 35
Atlas Ramirez POVI was smiling as I watched a woman with long hair. It was pulled in a bun as he stood formally, watching the tall building of Eiffel Tower. Her brown coat reached her thighs, paired with a white shirt inside. Her blue jeans and boots with heels complimented well as she paired it with a clutch bag hanging on her shoulder.It's been a long time since I saw her. Times where I feel like my life is nothing. Times where I surrendered everything for her. And the times where I needed to carry the pain of letting her go. I can't seem to fathom the fact that I saw her again because of a coincidental vacation.There are a lot of types of love. There's pure, there's not. It's enduring. There's leaving. There's love for family, for friends, and for everyone. But above e
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 34
I feel like everything stopped at that moment. My breathing hitched and my heart didn't beat. I felt like I was slowly dying as I saw my son being surrounded by doctors and nurses. They did everything they could to save him, until they ended up shaking their heads, a sign of giving up."Time of death. Twelve thirty in the afternoon."I sobbed on Atlas' chest as the doctor uttered the words I didn't want to hear. Why is it that when you want something, you just can't get it? It's always not allowed. Always wrong. Always not in the right time.I even thought about what sin I've done to receive this kind of punishment. I kept on going back to the past but I couldn't find the reason why. I can't think of anything but the fact that I just lo
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 33
A muffled moan came out from my mouth as another punch of pain rushed inside. I almost can't take the pain on my hips and womanhood. Atlas was driving the car speedily. We quickly arrived at the biggest hospital of San Vicente. He didn't waste any time and carried me inside the hospital."It's okay. Everything's gonna be okay," he whispered and kissed my head."It hurts," I said, in pain.I felt Atlas laying me down somewhere. When I opened my eyes, his worried face was what greeted me. Beside him was a uniformed nurse while behind him was also someone wearing a uniform, but I couldn't see it because of my vision blurring. I'm tired and desperately want to sleep."How often does it hurt, Ma'am?" the doctor ask
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I don't know where I pulled the strength to get off Atlas' car. I don't have any idea as to how I moved my feet together with Atlas who's holding my hand tightly. When I glanced at him, he was just staring in front of us seriously. I remained silent and let him take me wherever."We're here."We stopped at a not-so-big mausoleum. It's obviously been here for a long time just by looking at its rusty grills and roof."She's my first love," he started.I've heard that phrase a lot of times from his mouth, but it still hurts the same. Maybe because that truth was the reason why I had my uncertainties and regrets for the past ten years. Because of that phrase, I was wrecked repeatedly until I couldn't recognize myself an
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After the tragedy, light will come. After the rain stops, the sun will shine. All the tears and pain, all the suffering and torments. It will serve as a foundation for a new chapter. For a new start and for a new hope.I woke up the next morning with a smile glued on my lips. I wondered what happened to Atlas and I last night. It wasn't sexual, but a physical kind that I could still feel his embrace. An embrace that made my mind at peace, that made me fall into slumber.I roamed around the room as I got up from bed. There is no trace of Atlas in every corner of it. I pouted my lips. I felt a bit of disappointment but I just shrugged the thoughts off. Then, I sighed and continued the things that I needed to do."Big sister!"
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 30
I didn't exactly know what Atlas meant about coming with him. I don't know what he meant by starting again. All I know is that I was with him and we were both inside his car while he was driving somewhere far from the Metro. A place that I didn't know.The skies started to be gloomy as the light and darkness fought for its place. The sun began to bid its goodbye, together with the rise of the moon. I am tired from the long ride that I let myself drown into slumber. I don't know how long I slept in so much tiredness. The only thing I knew was I was awakened by a soft kiss on my lips. And when I opened my eyes, Atlas' face greeted me."We're here," he whispered."I'm sorry, I slept."I slightly moved away
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 29
Dr. Lagman brought us to a private room. My heart was beating so fast. I couldn't explain what I was feeling. I was nervous and excited at the same time.When I roamed around the room, I saw that it was just a normal clinic laboratory. There's a bed on the side while there's a small table beside the ultrasound monitor. There's a lavatory at the other side of the room and a picture of a baby on the wall. The interior was white with a hint of green, so it felt really refreshing in the eyes."Alright! You can let go of your wife now," she turned to Atlas. That's when I realized that Atlas was still snaking his arm on my waist. I took a glimpse of him and shook my head. He nodded and let me go with a sigh."Now, let's lay down on the bed and relax. This will not hurt," she said.
TEARS OF A WIFE Chapter 28
They said the best healing starts from yourself. Start from accepting your flaws. From reflecting the things that you've done in the past. And from loving and caring for yourself, alone. A new start for myself."But, Dad! You said that you will go with me to the hospital," I said, problematic."I'm sorry, Hija. We have an emergency at the Senate, so I didn't have the time to inform you. But, I promise next time."I heard him sigh. I nodded although he couldn't see me. "Okay. I'm sorry, Dad. I know you're busy and I am still disturbing you. I'll just go alone," I said."No! baby, Atlas will come with yo--""What?!" I immediately complained. When I real
