Chapter 2

It was a dream but when I woke up after seeing that beastly creature, I was still in the dream. This dream had become a nightmare and I wanted out as soon as possible but why did I open my eyes in this white room!? Why was I still in the soft cotton candy bed rather than my hard hospital bed?

“Who are you?” The wolf voice in my head asked like a broken record. There was no emotion in the wolf’s tone but I felt its tiredness. Why could I feel what it did not mention? “It is because we are connected. We are one – or we are supposed to be. You are not supposed to be in this body. What did you do with Selene and who are you?”

“I – I am Jane,” I said. “Who is Selene? What sort of dream is this?”

“This is not a dream. What’s wrong with you? Why did you react like that to your father as if you have never seen a wolf before?” The wolf continued to grill me.

“I haven’t,” I responded. “I only see wolves on television and a wolf that belongs in a horror movie, not my dream.”

“I know you are not Selene but – but this is weird. How did you get into Selene’s body? Who really are you?”

“Who am I?” It seemed like a complex philosophical question, one I had to answer. “As I said, I am Jane. I don’t know what kind of an absurd dream this is, but I am ready to wake up.” With that, I smacked my face as hard as I could.

Coincidentally, the door opened and Ethan poked his head in. Then he yelled, ‘she’s awake,’ and then he left without closing the door.

Why was there such an infuriating person in my dream? My chest tightened with frustration and annoyance. I wanted to drag that crazy guy and force him to close the door!

A few seconds later, the woman from earlier entered with the largest man I had ever seen in my life. He was at least six foot five inches, with a chest three times the frame of the woman in front of him.

“My baby is upset,” the large man said, striding into the room. On instinct, I ducked, terrified of this unknown burly man. “Are you avoiding your dad right now?” He – whined.

This big man whose weight sank the bed, whined like a sad puppy and I could not help the surprise that stiffened my joints. The man grabbed my hand and out of fear, I snatched my hand away. This time, it was a whimper that escaped his lips.

It was amazing yet terrifying.

“What can I do to make it up to my baby?” He reached out and stroked my forehead. I wanted to hide underneath the covers but they were stuck between my body and the bed so there was nothing to cover me. “If it is that Mercedes you wanted, I can –“ The man started to say but the woman cut him off.

“Sebastian, you got her a car two months ago and yesterday she bashed your car. Why are you talking about buying her another one?” The woman asked in a soft yet firm voice.

“If it is what my princess wants,” the man countered, turning to his wife, “then she can have it.”

I watched as they had a silent argument with their eyes and then the man’s shoulder’s drooped. He turned to me with sad eyes.

“No car for now but if there is anything else you want, trust your daddy to get it for you, okay, princess?” He said.

There was nothing I could say to this big man. My dream had been ruined by the wolf from earlier and I was beginning to have a sinking suspicion that this may not be a dream. But if not a dream, then what?

“This is reality,” the voice in my head said.

“Yes, I – uh I understand,” I said, turning away from the absurd look of sadness in his eyes.

“What happened to your face?” There was a chilly tone that made the hair on my arms stand. My gaze snapped to the man beside me and his friendly eyes from just now had hardened. He gripped my chin, turning my face this way and that. Embarrassment coloured my cheeks when I realized I had slapped myself hard to wake myself but yet, I was stuck in this dream.

“I was trying to wake myself, haha,” I laughed but the man did not crack a smile. “It – it is just – I am stuck in this absurd dream with wolves and voices in my head so – so I thought I should wake myself. I think the surgery would be complete and the anesthetic…” I started babbling.

The more I spoke, the more the man’s face darkened. Even his wife standing above us was losing colour as I spoke.

“Great,” a voice from the door came, “she has lost all her senses.” It was Ethan and his sudden appearance made me shut my mouth.

“Honey, do you have a fever?” The woman sat on the bed beside her husband and placed a hand on my forehead. “Your temperature is okay but you may have a concussion from the accident. I should not have listened to you when you insisted on being fine!”

“Concussion?” Her husband roared. “I will call the doctor!”

There was a tremendous fuss after that.

A doctor was called, a woman with thick glasses that smelt like citrus and old books. She checked me and said I was fine but may have been under a lot of pressure from college applications, exams and graduation. She advised me to rest and told the man and woman not to worry too much.

Graduation? College?

Since I turned sixteen, I have been confined to a hospital bed. There was no time for me to complete high school. It was possible I would dream of being a person who had finished high school and was preparing for college. Still, I was anxious because this did not feel like a dream anymore.

After everyone left, I smacked myself several times, pinched my face and my smooth thighs but I did not wake up. The more time passed, the more confused I felt. Unable to leave the room since I had been told to rest, I soon fell asleep and this time, I had a dream.

It was a dream in which I, Jane, died.

I was born to an alcoholic mother who never knew my father. She drank, smoked, partied and did all sorts of drugs while pregnant with me so when I was born, I had all kinds of illness and as I grew, I picked up diseases like a trashman picks up waste thanks to my nonexistent immune system.

I could not even remember the face of my mother who dumped me in front of an orphanage where I grew up. Although I was a sickly child, I did not have a severe sickness episode until I turned twelve. It was then the doctors told me I did not have long to live. My heart was bad, my lungs were bad and my brain also had problems. In fact, it was a miracle that I lived till twelve without dying on a random day.

From the age of twelve until nineteen, I had one surgery after the other. I swallowed all manners of pills every day to help my immune system and I got addicted to pain medications at fourteen. It was a life that was not worth living.

It was when I turned sixteen and became permanently confined to a hospital bed that I discovered web novels. Limited to a hospital bed awaiting death, I became a voracious reader of werewolf romances. There was something about being a wolf with impeccable health, a pack that is family and a mate that comes and sweeps you off your feet, that got me addicted. It was a life I could never have so I experienced it through fiction. 

The storylines were repetitive but for a girl like me trapped in an awful life, they let me dream of being healthy, beautiful and surrounded by people who were like me – a pack. Through these books, I experienced love with fated mates. They were my escape from my pain.

A month ago, I set up a page for donations for a major surgery and I was lucky the internet took interest in my case. Donations poured in along with prayers and for a while, I was confident that it was a sign that my life would get better. It was a high-risk surgery but it was a chance at improving my quality of life.

I was supposed to come out of the theatre with improved health but as I closed my eyes in my dream as Selene, I saw my haggard lifeless body as it was covered with a white cloth. The time of death was said to be 10:15 a.m.

When I opened my eyes, the sheets underneath me were soaked with my sweat.

I died yet I was alive.

My screams had the entire house running.