15 Years Ago

“That bastard was here again wasn’t he?”

“Hello to you too Nick”

I was in the middle of ridding my room of every trace of Luciano’s presence partly for my own sanity because just the smell of him disgusts me. I had rushed to the bathroom the moment he left to wash his sticky essence off of my body yet it feels like it’s still all over my body and crawling all over my skin.

But cleaning the room to get rid of Luciano’s scent is mainly because of my best and only friend who hates Luciano’s gut more than I do. Nick has a temper and his greatest trigger had to be the thought of Luciano coming here to use me again without him being able to do anything about it.

“Answer me Claire, that bastard came here again?”

I was past lying to Nick because he could smell a lie from a mile away. Besides,the room still stunk of his release and seemed a little too strong for the air freshener I sprayed in the room.

“He was only here for a few minutes” I said, turning my back on Nick and crouching by my bed to pick up the files that I shoved under it. It was a defence mechanism to collect myself before finally facing Nick who I could tell was staring daggers at my back.

“That’s what you say every single time and not even your concealers can hide those swollen red eyes of yours”

See? There was no point lying to Nick.

“Nick, I can’t right now okay? Yes, Luciano was here and he left just like always, what’s so new about it?”

Nick snorted. Irritation was clear as day on his face when I turned to look at him. He had on a backpack that he always carried around with him to do his freelance photography. It was obvious that he came right here without making a stop at his own apartment that’s a few doors away from mine in the apartment building we both shared.

It’s always as if Nick knows when I am troubled or he has a tracker placed on Luciano’s body for him to always show up moments after Luciano leaves my apartment.

“Remind me why we can’t go the police again? This dude is a fucking criminal and yet he roams around free”

I sighed, unsure about how many more times we would go over this again.

“For the last time Nick, Luciano is just not any criminal! He’s the leader of a very dangerous Mafia gang club and I don’t think you need me to keep telling you this all the time!” 

Nick rolled his symmetrical blue eyes.

 “Yes yes, the Silver Fox gang club. I get it! But fuck that! Apart from you and I, I don’t think anyone thinks that that shit exists. Everyone else will probably think you’re crazy for fuck’s sake .There are bad men everywhere Claire, and it’s the cops job to catch them”

I was starting to get pressured and irritated. Nick and I have this arguments over and over again and I try my best to tell him how dangerous Luciano is each time.

“He’s not just any criminal Nick! I’ve known him long enough to know that he has the cops in the palm of his hands! We can both die before I realize my plans of revenge”

I know for a fact that Luciano is well grounded in the city and there is no escape from him anywhere. His criminal activities spread wide to places even I can’t imagine and it’s one of the reasons why I’ve never been able to run away from the city and start a new life somewhere else. Luciano might have released me three years ago, but it doesn’t mean I got my freedom back.

“Why you Claire? For fuck’s sake why won’t he just leave you alone?” nick groaned bitterly.

The care he has for me and the hurt he feels whenever Luciano takes advantage of me is so clear in his voice and that it hurts my heart too.

But I’ve always asked the same question as him too.

Why me?

A lot of things have been so unclear about my life from the start.

Like why my parents moved so much when I was a kid up until I turned fifteen. We moved from city to city, from apartments to apartments and I was never at one school for a year. I was always the new students at a new place.

And like why my parents were killed in cold blood by the silver fox gang club.

The reason why I had to watch both of them get hit with bullets between their eyes and fall to the ground right in front of me. The reason why a fifteen year old clueless teenager was made to watch her parents take their last breath right before her eyes

And the reason I wasn’t killed like my parents but taken into captive by the very man who put a bullet through my parent’s heads.

A whole lot of things don’t make sense and I’d be lying if I said it does and that I knew exactly why a dangerous man suddenly came knocking at my family’s door.

It all happened so fast and before I knew it, my parent’s were already at gun point while I was held with a tight grip by two menacing looking men.

The last fifteen years ago was when my life turned miserable.

That was the first day I met Luciano Sebastian.

And the memories of what followed will forever haunt me no matter what I do or where I go.

Thinking about the things Luciano did to me while he held me captive at an unknown place, only brings back the darkest of my memories that I have tried to bury so deep that I wouldn’t mind if they don’t see the light of day again but being in an argument like this with Nick brings everything back to the surface, and I think he noticed because he stopped talking and only ran a hand through his dirty blonde hair before reaching for his backpack on the floor of my room and opening his arms wide for me.

I didn’t hesitate to run into his open arms and let him engulf my small frame into his rather large one. He tightened his arms around me and I don’t think I would ever feel this warm in anyone’s arms the way I feel in Nick’s arms.

Nick is my safe haven.

After Luciano released me from his hold three years ago for reasons best known to him, I made sure to stay away from anyone and kept to myself. I didn’t want anyone closer to me because of how dangerous it could be for anyone to even be close to me.

I wanted to start my life all over again and meet with people but I knew it was hard. Anyone close to me were always in danger of getting hurt and I didn’t want that.

Well, everyone except Nick.

Nick was cute, funny and hard-working.

I tried to keep him away by pretending to be irritated but he was just too kind. At first, I thought he was just a boy next door who needed a quick fuck but I soon realized that he wasn’t even interested in women and only wanted to make friends with me because, according to him, I looked like someone who needed someone to talk too.

The plans for my revenge on Luciano is still not properly laid out. It’s huge and it could crush me but I had nothing to lose any more.

“Thank you”

I said to Nick after he let me go even though I just want to stay in his embrace forever. Wishing that it’s strong enough to actually take away my trouble forever.