[Atlas]The day after Angelica told Cordelia our “news” I tried to visit Cordelia, but I was shooed away by Clark. He told me about their agreement, and when I expressed my anger, he shut me down hard. “You have Angelica, remember,” he reminded me. “Wasn’t she the one you wanted in the first place? Until Angelica has her memories back, maybe you should leave Cordelia to my care. She doesn’t need to see you two together. It is already breaking her heart.”So I left her with Clark and headed home. But that doesn't mean I've forgotten about her. If anything, I can't get Cordelia out of my mind. The memory of her kisses haunts me. Especially now that Angelica is living in my house, eating meals with me, and sleeping in the room down the hall. For someone I used to get along with so well, it seems that we have nothing real to talk about. She goes on and on about flower arrangements and gowns for a wedding that should not and will not happen, and I just nod my head and keep quiet, planni
[Cordelia]Somehow between my time on the island, my time in the hospital, and my time recovering at home, time has slipped away from me. My belly is still small but now noticeably round. I get stopped when I go out into the neighborhood by little old ladies asking me about the sex of the baby and the excitement of the father.“Who is the father, dearie?” Some are even brazen enough to ask. When I answer that my fiance and I are happy about our baby, no we don’t know the sex, and yes we’re getting married after the baby is born, their smiles switch from judgemental to jubilant as they give me their well wishes and their blessings. I never thought I’d care so much about what other people think, but now that the truth is obvious, I find myself surprisingly sensitive to how people view me and this baby. Clark helped me find a local obstetrician. He was there as my fiance during our consultation visit, and our first official exam is tomorrow morning. Now that I have a new phone, the fir
[Cordelia] The hallway feels hollow and empty as my words ring out around us. It takes Clark a few moments to process my words, but as the meaning becomes clear, I watch as his expression slowly falls. “You don’t want me there,” he finally murmurs. “I see.”“Clark, It’s not that I don’t want you to be there to see the baby, I just, I haven’t had any time with Atlas since I returned from the island and this is his baby,” I try to explain, but the more I say the sadder he looks as if my words are crushing him. “Look, it isn’t about not wanting you, Clark, it is about needing him.”“Of course,” he replies, his voice flat. “I guess I’ll see you later.”Kissing my cheek, he begins his slow descent down the stairs and back out onto the street. Even though this is what I asked him to do, I can’t help but feel a little guilty about the way I managed this situation. If I could have only been honest with him yesterday, maybe we could have avoided the confusion and hurt today. Atlas is waiting
[Cordelia]Atlas reaches out a hand and places it on top of mine before I can remove the paper from the envelope.“Wait,” he pulls me into the shadow of a nearby building, suddenly seeming very mysterious “Let's not do this here.” He then gently takes the envelope away from me and places it in his jacket breast pocket as he graciously opens the passenger side door. “What are you doing, Atlas?” His behavior is so confusing, harder to read than usual. This man is absolutely exasperating. With my hands on my hips I demand an answer. “Don’t you want to find out too?”“I do,” He smirks with a sly twist to his mouth, as if holding in a secret. “But not like this. Not on some street corner where everyone else can see and hear us.”As soon as I’m safely buckled, he pulls out into traffic and heads towards the highway headed north. “Atlas…?” I draw out the last syllable of his name, making it more of question than a statement. He takes one look at my pouty face and laughs. “Don’t you like s
[Cordelia]The sun had completely set before we had made our way back to the studio flat I share with Tilly. Or rather, had shared. There is nothing left to share now.“Gone,” I choke as I struggle not to cry. “Gone, all gone.” Atlas doesn’t interfere as I search through the remains of the rubble by the radiant glow of the streetlamp from across the street. It might be after 8pm, but it is never truly dark in LA, more of a perpetual twilight. The neon signs from a nearby billboard casts the ashes and soot covered beams in an eerie, ghostly green. It doesn’t seem quite real. Just a few hours ago everything was normal, the way it had been for months. Even when I had disappeared, taken to that blasted island, everything remained where I had last placed it. I was only gone for an afternoon. It was still so perfect when I left. Blinking through tears, I see a shiny bit of metal gleaming in the ashy dark. It is so small I could have easily missed it, had my head not been turned in just t
[Cordelia]Tomorrow was not better.As I looked up at an unfamiliar ceiling, the realization that I no longer had any of my work from the past few months made my eyes water and my heart clench. How am I going to keep from falling into debt if I have to pay back all of my buyers when I fail to deliver on their orders?When I looked over my accounts that morning I realized it was even worse than what I had previously understood. I knew that I was doomed because I lost all of my patterns and samples but my loss was much deeper than that. I had vendors I still needed to pay for fabric that is now a pile of ashes.Vendors that I cannot pay because I needed that fabric to make the orders to pay them.Now I will need to repurchase it, even though I don’t have the funds, which means I will need to take out credit, and as a business owner with no financial history, this might prove impossible.It's such a mess my head hurts trying to figure it all out.“You need to call Atlas and just take tha
[Cordelia]When Clark arrives later that afternoon, he comes with a beautiful orchid as a “housewarming present” and a teddy bear for the baby and me as an “apology” for being so upset the day before. I give him a big hug and wonder if what Atlas was suggesting could be true. Did Clark keep Atlas away from me? It doesn’t seem to be in his nature to be jealous. “I’m sorry too,” I apologize as I release him. “I should have been more honest with you about it from the beginning.”He accepts my apology with one of his signature smiles, although it doesn’t go all the way up to his eyes like it usually does. He is thinking about something else, something that is adding a bit of a shadow over everything. Today.Tilly takes the plant from Clark, and as their fingertips touch briefly, I see a flush of color rush to her cheeks. I know my friend well enough to know what that means. Tilly DOES have a crush on Clark,My first thought is that it is a shame we are fake engaged because they would ma
[Cordelia]Clark didn't stop by to visit the next morning. Nor did he come by the morning after that. It seems that he was so upset by the way things happened between us that he needed more time and space than a single evening to work things out. While I'm fine giving him space, I'm also worried about him. I've tried texting, but he hasn't returned any of my messages. This isn't like Clark. He's usually so attentive and responsive. I sent a message to Atlas, asking him to look in on his little brother. He wrote me back later that evening letting me know that Clark had gone on a little trip to "clear his head." I guess my words hurt him more deeply than I intended. Wanting to make sure he still feels loved and appreciated, I left a card taped to his door. I included the ultrasound he had forgotten and a note of apology letting him know that I still want him in this baby's life and my life as well.I might not be in love with him, but I will always love him. Tilly has more than fill