"I love him. Clinging for five years, being married for five years is a full ten years, until the accident happened, I was still alone.
After opening my eyes, I realized that I was lost in a desert.I wandered in that wilderness for a long time.I knew that I was coming to the end of my life. But I don't want to leave him, and I don't want to leave in a situation like this.Actually, at that moment, when I received that broken glass, I thought, dying in the arms of the person you love is also a kind of happiness. But the deeper I went into the wilderness, the more I understood, if I died for him, he would probably suffer for the rest of his life. I don't want to leave him, and I don't want to be a burden in the heart of the person I love.So when a demon's voice came up from the ground, asking me to exchange half of my existence for return, I did not hesitate to agree. At that time, I wondered to myself, why should I take half of the life span of a person who should have lost his life span completely?Starting as just dreams, in the dead of night, a voice carrying cold air will slowly creep up to my ear, long slippery tongue slurping words out in terrifying distortions: "I'll take your place. ”, “I will take over your life”, “I will take him”.
Then came a long series of nightmares. I once watched a horror movie with a similar plot, “US”. Every time we fall asleep, the film's murky colors blend into our indoor layout; The faces of our sinister twin and ours overlapped, tormenting me in terrors. In the murky darkness of reality or dream, from time to time came screams, repetitive meaningless mechanical readings, or monstrous murmurs that "she" was coming, snatching her. my fragile happiness.Have you ever heard that if you look into her eyes for too long, it will feel like a stranger, a monster. There was a time when I was so lost in my thoughts that I sat in front of the mirror. When I looked up, I realized with horror that, with her deep black eyes, she had been staring at me for so long.Then suddenly all the nightmares disappeared. Mai Han was very happy, he said that I was finally free from nightmares. But my heart was always plagued with a vague insecurity that in my sky there was a huge net of spikes that was slowly shrinking. This peace is just the calm before the storm. The terrible storm brought the demon to take half of my life.That night, when I realized her obvious existence, I understood, the contract with that demon, half life, turned out not to say longevity.The things in my dreams no longer trample my heart, but the things when I wake up.
The moment I had to "witness" him hugging her lying on a bed, the embrace was so passionate, I could hear every inch of my heart rumbling, crushing my internal organs.It's clearly not me, clearly not the same person.Just two people with identical looks.Did she understand that feeling, like she was watching a twin sister and her husband cuddling in bed.I was shocked. I'm in pain. I am angry. I'm scared. I'm self-deprecating. I go crazy.Again, again, again, I woke up in his bewitching eyes. I had to pretend to cherish the things the couple bought together, naturally taste the dishes he and she cooked together, watch the movies they picked together, listen to the affectionate words he said once. half with her.Little by little, the hellfire where that demon spread out, burned my heart.Worse than ten years ago.He didn't love me before, but he didn't have any other women, at least not in front of me. Before, he didn't love me, give me hope, I have no right to be greedy, jealous or possessive.But the moment he said he loved me, he completely smothered my lowly love. I know it's not his fault, but resentment is still like a smoldering fire hidden in my heart. I hate that even though I know it's not his fault, I still unconsciously reveal my resentment, causing the person I love pain and self-blame.But no matter how much I calmed myself, convinced myself a hundred times, a thousand times, there was no way to stop those wild emotions. Those who have never seen the light will not be afraid of the dark. People who have never eaten meat will not find that vegetarianism is painful. He let me see the shape of the light again, tasted the rich flavor, I could not voluntarily return to crouch in the dark and swallow the blandness. If I knew that he had me in his heart, I would never have shared that heart with anyone else.But then as suddenly as she came, there was a long period of time when I no longer felt her presence. I don't know why, but I thought it was over.Until that day, when I woke up in a dimly lit room, hazy and directionless, I knew she had come again. I jolted awake, realizing I was sitting alone in a quiet studio. It was the ringing of the phone that woke me up. I looked at his number in the history, just as the bell rang again, I picked up.
- Are you done yet? He came to pick me ok?- Um.- Where are you?- Recording room.- Yeah, wait a minute.I looked over the time on my phone, adding:- There's probably a traffic jam now, just go slowly, there's no rush.- Yes, you already know.I turned on the light, checked my phone, there were a few messages from her:- Mai Han, I have work today, maybe I will come back a little late or sleep at your friend's house.- I've already cooked rice, I'll warm up and eat enough, don't worry about me.- Sleep well.I don't understand why, but she seems to have found an excuse to stay away from him.The receiver is still working, I save, hit play, suddenly hear my own voice again.It's her, she's singing:“Having stepped into the barren desert in my heart. Everywhere were endless dry sands, battered by bone-chilling cold winds, shrouded in darkness and silence, humdrum and miserable. Once wished that I could light a little light, keep some warmth, erase some darkness and cold, maybe find you. But I'm just an ordinary pedestrian, can't find you, can't find the way out.Ever stepped into a cold zone”The voice was suddenly cut off. I listened patiently, about five minutes later, the phone rang. It turned out that I suddenly switched. I realized, even she has no control over this body transformation.I looked online and couldn't find the name of the song. When I accidentally saw the notation on the table, I understood, this is a song she composed herself. I read the notation, it's really melodious tunes. The transcript had no lyrics, so I suddenly regretted not hearing the full story of that miserable love.I was suddenly scared that she would sing this song in front of him. I do not believe that if he, or any other man, heard a girl who has been quietly loving him for ten years singing these tunes, he would not be heartbroken, not touched.Just thinking about it, I shivered. The girl who has been quietly loving me for ten years? No, that's not her. It is me. But I also understood that even for a split second I had admitted her love. For a moment I had a myth that I could give her some of my time, as long as I didn't expose it, there would be no way to distinguish who really was.I hugged her shoulder, if this was really just a play, she was overreacting. Not only confused him, but also confused me.
It wasn't until those wicked knives ripped through my skin that I knew I was too naive. She is a demon. A wicked, cunning and cruel demon. At that time, if she really didn't act, she just had to directly talk to him on the phone, without texting me to read. She didn't even need to keep the record for me to listen to. She knew I would soften, all the play was aimed at me!
I just don't understand, what is it that incited her, to go from rambling me to killing me?"- I just don't understand, what is it that incited her, to turn me off to kill me?He must have hidden the existence of the other fetus from her, I thought to myself, if she knew, how perfect would the story be?She guessed correctly, she did not know the existence of the fetus, so she murdered her own child. I suddenly had the malicious thought to let her know, to see a little bit of her true feelings, if she had any.But at that moment, I suddenly remembered the cry that echoed the first night I met her. So it was she who cried. Even though the other fetus belonged to the person she loved with the personality that had taken over her body, in her deepest sleep, she still cried with such heartbreaking pain. I had a bit of a lump in my throat, had to tilt my head to adjust my emotions. Unexpectedly when I looked up, I suddenly realized that she was looking up at me. I don't know what my expression was at that time, but she seemed surprised. Perhaps I am expressing irony, or profoundne
I once had a very scary dream, like a movie, about a world with shape-shifting creatures, mingling with the people around us. I don't remember the details, only the last scene, in the night, when humanity somehow lured all those creatures into an old school and set fire to destruction. I was finally forced to choose the younger brother out of two identical children and then hugged him and ran back to the assembly point. After that life gradually returned to normal, the family was happy and warm, but I will forever remember the child left in the sea of fire, his last look and tear, forever wondering whether the choice is correct.Waking up to realize, I never had a brother.- Helia, you should look at this file. A man in white with a handsome face, but unfortunately wearing a serious look beyond his age, put a file on my desk. I opened it up, it was a very thin girl.- Is it your patient? What happen?- Are you familiar?- No, what's wrong?- Take a closer look.- Not really famili
It was a rainy day. The road is wet and cold.I walked down the street with my cano, looking at the dry roots of despair that surrounded them.There is no one who does not have, more or less, no matter what expression they are showing on their faces, happy or sad, laughing or crying. It turned out that the desperate race had quietly taken over the world. It turned out that we weren't the only ones who had to suffer and despair. Turns out, we're all Tree People.Tree Man? Why do you remember this word?Ah, come to think of it, I saw that word on a TV news report about rare diseases. There was a man who was turned into a Treeman after a knee surgery. I still remember the look of him, from the elbows out, all over his feet were rough, dry, rough bark; On his knees, on his neck, and on his face, there were spots and cracks like hollow hollows of a tree. At that time, I thought, maybe like petrified warriors when meeting Medusa's eyes, he was cursed by some witch, gradually turning into a
It is a sad story. When that girl opened her eyes again, I saw nothing but emptiness. There was not a single tear. There seemed to be a barren pit inside her. Used to be helpless. Used to be painful. But the emotions were exhausted.- There is no Tung Bach. There is no such person in this world, nor is there such a Thanh Dang.- I know. This world does not exist. So this world is not real.- You always say my other memories are fake, due to the trauma caused by the accident. Did you ever think that this world could also be a fake, created by my brain after the injury from the accident to convince me that Tung Bach had never come to my world, like that, never left my world. go, and should I go on living or not?You never thought that, did you? Because this is the world you've lived in ever since, without a doubt, and I'm just a person falling from the sky who suddenly came to say, this world is fake.But, you know what, I would feel the same way. A world that I've lived in all my life,
We rushed to the terrace, no. Divided to look everywhere, also did not find.- Helia, go down, don't look anymore.- What do you mean? – I seemed to have no strength left to speak, leaning slightly against the wall.- Not that. She's down.- We saw the extracted camera, she left the building, took a MaLin taxi, went on. We are contacting that party to ask.- So many cars, know when to find...People stood by the roadside waiting for the phone. It was getting dark, the street lights were starting to turn on, the mood was getting more and more gloomy.I accidentally looked at the big clock hanging in the store opposite, turned to say to the person next to me:- You go first.- ...- Here with me and everyone looking for it, without her, the market is still crowded, you can rest assured.Hurry up, don't wait any longer! I pushed him into the driver's seat.Ring Ring! The phone rang, I quickly picked it up.- Baby, are you coming back soon? My friend has been waiting for my meal.- I have
Smoke. Suddenly there was a lot of smoke. Gray and white smoke rose from nowhere, covering every corner of my world.From my nose, mouth, ears, smoke wriggled into my chest, like an army of foreign invaders violently expelling the air in my body, compressing the internal organs, constantly expanding the territory. I was like a balloon doll that was constantly being pumped with smoke, inflated into a gray mass.Just as I was about to explode, an invisible force shoved me forward.I dashed into a cold granite wall, hurried after it, running aimlessly for my life.Then in the distance I saw a gap of light. I walked over and pushed the door open.And I woke up in a white hospital bed.I hissed. A fierce cough came like a bombardment of the pharynx, the intestines and liver seemed to be pulled back. A nurse came up to me, lifted my chin, sprayed me, and instructed me to calm my breathing.Someone told me it was after the car accident.And that I was in a coma in a hospital bed for a year.
I looked up at the clear blue sky, and the thin clouds drifted by. Turns out my sky is no different from their sky.Stepping off the bus, I walked slowly. This road I have passed many times but have never walked, nor have ever looked. A gust of wind blew with a yellow rain and soft falling sounds. A few tiny leaves landed on my shirt. I looked up, the rows of tamarind on both sides of the road were in fruit season. I bent down to pick up the healthiest of the fallen fruit on the cobblestone pavement, with a crunch that peeled off the skin, blinked and popped it into my mouth. The sweet and sour taste of ripe fruit on the branch blends on the tip of the tongue, the beauty of the world.Seeing a strange uncle watering his plants naked with a snake-skin faucet, a sense of disappointment gripped my heart.I stood in front of that person's house, the house was still the same, silent and silent behind the red brick wall. I rang the bell. Unlike the last time, after only two rings, someone o
In the meeting of the darkness and the mist, from afar, with a familiar warm voice, someone was calling my name. The call seemed to echo on the cliff, echo for a long time.I felt like a pedestrian standing on a narrow but winding path, in the middle of a deep mountainous region covered in layers of white mist. I fumbled for the white curtain to move towards the call. I walked for a long time, turn after turn, mountain after mountain. I didn't feel tired, but I've been going for a long time and there's no end to it.That was the first time I reunited my parents.They came from the opposite side, like me, groping through the mist.As soon as they saw me, they rushed to me, hugged me, cried and called my name. I also cried calling their names.- Sis! Sis!From another direction, there were other calls. In an instant, the mountains shook, and snow fell on my parents. I screamed, rushed to hug them, but the embrace was empty. The scene suddenly turned black. I fumbled in the air, called t
“This lamp, some people say it is a wish-fulfilling magic lamp, others say it is just an old, useless lamp. Miracle or not, is from the heart of each person.”The magic lamp was inherently a fantasy. And yet this person didn't even add any magic to convince people to buy.It's even more absurd that I bought it. Rubbing all sorts of things doesn't make any move, it's a scam. In times of dire straits, people do illogical things. Not because of faith, just because of hope. Clinging to hope, even if it's something illusory, is better than despair.I stared blankly out of the old glass window in front of me, at the branches that protruded from my withered body.The bell woke me up from my wandering thoughts. It's time now.I walked down the street with my cano, looking at the dry roots of despair that surrounded them.There is no one who does not have, more or less, no matter what expression they are showing on their faces, happy or sad, laughi
The first time I smelled it, I thought it was a pleasant scent. A soft, warm, pungent, slightly acidic scent that drifts in the wind. It is unlike any perfume in the world, very natural, easy to make people relax, also very familiar.Maybe it was the scent of the Rain God. Every time it rains, that scent comes. On the street, in the supermarket, in the bookstore, in the coffee shop, at home, that gentle scent pervades every corner of my world.But on a white rainy day, when icy water molecules wafting through the air amplified that scent, it started to make me feel uneasy. On the old stone stairs, in the midst of a crowd of colorful umbrellas, as soon as that very light scent passed, I was pushed back by a hand. That hand was very hot. I tumbled downhill. I hugged my head and rolled on each slick, sharp, cold, visceral visceral like being crushed by a roller, and in the afterglow, I still saw that red umbrella upstream, quickly leaving my sight. . My head is buzzing every
I am Donald. Because of this name, I often dream that I transform into a duck wearing a blue sailor shirt and no pants. Coincidentally, the dream of not wearing pants represents deep shame, deep hurt, or subconscious anxiety. Does this coincidence mean anything?I am Donald. I am a psychiatrist. I have a secret that seems to be turning me into a psychopath. It all started when someone contacted me who wanted to buy the old house my family lived in until I was five years old, before moving to the big city. Both of my parents had gone abroad to attend conferences, and I was reluctant to take the responsibility of showing people the house. I opened the gate, looked at the garden, hired a plumber to clean and decorate a bit first, it didn't look too bad.I was very afraid of this house, never returned, but every few years I dream that I unconsciously walk in in the mist and enter. The yellow oil lamp flickered overhead, swaying back and forth, causing a long shadow to fall
- Hello, congratulations on passing the psychological and general health test. The Experiment will start at 00:00 on November 7 and end at 00:00 on November 17. Press the “2” key if you decide to continue participating in the Experiment.- Beep.- Please enter the address, at 22:00 on November 6, our car will pick you up to the experimental site.----------- Welcome to the Depression Experiment, with the aim of developing an application to experience depression to sympathize and find solutions to treat and motivate patients.The experiment will last for ten days, you will play the role of a depressed patient living in her situation, experiencing ten depressive symptoms in turn. Please note:First, the patient's life can be extremely difficult and paranormal, due to the heavy effects of depression and hallucinations. The experimenter will have to deal with an intense desire to commit suicide.Two, the experimental world can provide extr
Okay, I count from five to one, wake up.Five…Four…Three…Two…One…Cup.I opened my eyes again and was met with bright hazel eyes. It took a few seconds to remember that he wasn't Rio, or at least, not the genius scientist Rio. He is a psychologist who commented that I should see a doctor in my Reddit post, who told my story to Thang, and co-ordinator of treatment. It seems that they are still very close, before he vehemently accused me of intentionally killing Thang (I don't have any memory of it, only heard from them), but now he is trying to convince convince the police that a mental patient like me would not be held criminally responsible by my full treatment notes and numerous recordings. Obviously, Thang had secretly recorded it. Every moment he and I are together. Even though I knew it, I was still a little flustered. Oh, medical. Neurologist, psychiatrist, psychologist. Their academic network is huge. Big but tight.Rio got into some trouble for no
I'm standing in front of the big screen. The picture of a small family in it is so cozy. Yesterday was the child's birthday, the whole family of three were gathering to blow out the candles.Miss my parents so much.Suddenly, not the time, but my mind only had that thought, miss my parents so much.Remember the gentle eyes, the warm voice, the loving arms. Remember the mushroom porridge, remember the custard, remember the hot meals, remember the potato buried in the corner of the kitchen. Remember the busy days harvesting potatoes, cutting banana flowers, feeding the geese, washing the pigsty, remembering the nights when we gathered under the lights to clean the rice tray, watch TV together, I would clean their ears and pull out their gray hair. Human life is indeed a chain of devaluation, when… but no, it's not true, it's because people never know enough. When in the wagon, I could not feel the speed of the car. When you are in happiness, you never know how happy you are.
And then I stood up, my throat still with the feeling of being plowed through by the flames.What caught my eye was a pair of hazel eyes with rays so clear that they could see through the eyes of the other person and read all the emotions in them, sucking their souls. But I was not surprised. In these eyes I felt a strange sense of familiarity and security.- Ria, did you sleep well? - The owner of the eyes said, the corners of his lips curved up very slightly. I don't know who he is, but I know I used to know him. I've known him for a long time.He was surprised to hear that I didn't remember anything, but it was very mild. He said it was only temporary amnesia due to the D.E system having a slight bump while I was entering the virtual world, and we will wait two weeks to see if the situation improves.Virtual world, a phrase as light as a feather.My sadness, my confusion, my panic, my inner torment, just summed it up. Not paranoid, but virtual. - So before
I don't know how long it's been, but I've come to my senses. By the call of parents.I raised my head, saw my parents running over, didn't need to find out the situation, but hugged me and said it's okay, my parents are here. Then all three of us burst into tears.I don't know how long I was stunned by that thesis, because it took me a day and night by train to go through many stops. I also don't know which side suggested that my parents stay in the hospital to take care of me. My mother cooks mushroom porridge, and my father makes young chicken custard for me. The two of them kept regretting that they were in a hurry to bring me home food, and lamented that the quality of vegetables and meat in this city was terrible, no wonder I was getting thinner and thinner outside. It's not the right time, but I'm happy. How happy it feels to be a child protected by parents again.Rainy days still cover this city. This hospital is quite old. Everywhere there was an old musty t
When I woke up, I saw Thang sitting by the bed. I slept for a few hours and broke my right arm, my head was bandaged, my body was scratched. Someone nice took my phone to the nearest number, but was not kind enough to return my belongings. Or it's two different people.I feel guilty for bothering you, and even more guilty when I can't help but bother. My phone and bank card are both lost, my parents forgot, and I don't have any closer friends. It's awful.In the afternoon, I borrowed Thang's phone to arrange work and call my parents. Same question, same answer, same advice.- Do you mind if I don't tell my parents about the accident and leave you here to take care of me? - I ask.- I will too. Far away. – Thang replied.Turns out it wasn't just me. Maybe the young people far from home are all like that? We talk every day, but don't mention important things, so we can't say anything new but side questions and small jokes, hide sad stories with half-false and half-true