Chapter 20 – Are you gay test

Levi didn’t even react as Noah brought up his gun and took aim at the final target.

Beep sounded the end of the round.

Noah’s finger on the trigger froze, and his eyes widened in shock. The round had ended before he could shoot!! He had lost this round!! 
(╯°Д°）╯︵ ┻━┻

Miffed, he glared half-heartedly at the flushed and heavily breathing Levi under him, and a desire for revenge arose in his heart. His courage bolstered by adrenaline, he pointed his gun at Levi’s chest, locked eyes with him, and looking very provocative, pulled the trigger.

Levi’s body shook briefly from the impact, his eyes first widening in surprise, then narrowing in a dangerous smile. This naughty little kitten needed to be taught a lesson! Levi licked his lips, and his eyes glinted with a predatory light as his most primal instincts were challenged.

Before Noah could regret his impulsiveness, Levi flipped them again, pressing Noah’s body down with his own and pinning his hands over his head with a single arm.

And then…

“S-stop…! Ah…haha! Noooo…! You-you…! Big bully…! Noooo…ah! Stawwwp! No… more!”

…he started to viciously tickle him.

All strength drained out of Noah’s body, and his limbs turned into jelly. Tears of laughter rolled down his pink cheeks. His hair got all over the place as he desperately flailed about.

All his words came out in broken gasps, scattered in between heavy pants. Cute squeals and shrieks poured out of him as if he was a maiden about to be violated. Yet when all these cute little noises entered the ears of his tormentor, they turned into devastatingly erotic moans made by an enchanting succubus whose seductive body was writhing in pleasure underneath his own.

At that moment, no amount of self-control could prevent Levi’s body from displaying its most instinctual visceral reaction.

“I give… I-I surrender… please… ah!” Noah pleaded, uncontrollably squirming in the hold of the man above him.

Abruptly, Levi’s tickling halted.

Noah’s arched back slumped back down in relief. He closed his glistening red-rimmed eyes and started taking in heavy breaths to calm down his wildly beating heart. Oh god! He almost died back there! Tickling is the worst form of torture!!

Levi, on the other hand, felt like dying too due to entirely different reasons. Oh, how he now regretted his impulsive actions!

But how could he have possibly known that an innocent act of tickling a naughty kitten would leave him with a boner that just wasn’t going down?!

And to make matters even worse, Trey chose this moment to make his appearance from the bushes behind Levi.

“What are you doing? Get off!!” Trey grabbed Levi by the back of his collar and pulled him off Noah.

With all of Trey’s attention concentrated on Noah, Levi made a quick escape. By the time Trey pulled Noah up from the ground, Levi was nowhere in sight.

Noah and Trey shared a confused look.

“Where did he disappear to?” （　ﾟДﾟ）

Noah scratched his head, taking a leaf out of his hair, “Maybe he needed to go to the toilet?”

“Young master, are you alright? Did he hurt you?”

“I’m fine. We were just messing around. A harmless scuffle between good brothers.” He’d be damned if he admitted he had been nearly tickled to death!

Trey gave Noah a skeptical look. A harmless scuffle between good brothers? The position they were in looked like something taken out of a classic rape hentai porn!

Is his young master not aware of just how inappropriate it all looked from an outsider’s point of view? Thankfully this was a private court, and there shouldn’t be any reporters around.

Even now, Noah still looked too erotic to be seen outside! Flushed cheeks, red teary eyes, messy hair sticking to his forehead due to sweat, heavy pants puffing out steam. Fuck, even Trey felt a stir in his loins! How could he not when his delectable crush was presented on a silver platter in front of him?!

“I…I’m going to check if he went to the toilet…” Trey awkwardly stated.

When Noah turned to respond, Trey, too, was nowhere in sight! The only trace that he had been there moments prior was the newly put up shield around Noah!

Noah gaped, not knowing whether he should be angry or worried. What is with these guys?! They kept ditching him one after the other!

You are all going to the toilet, are you?! Why is no one asking me whether I want to go to the bathroom too?! щ（ﾟДﾟщ）

I might not need to pee, but my face could use some refreshing sprinkle of cold water! (￢з￢)

Blackie, the bystander who clearly saw everything that should and should not be seen: “…”

He gave his blubbering idiot of a host, that was still stuck in the illusion of a touching brotherhood, a pitying glance.

***

Levi stood mortified in a locked bathroom stall staring at his rock-hard member that refused to go down.

This… has never happened before.

No, not that! His body was perfectly healthy, of course, he experienced an erection before! He, like every other man, occasionally had morning wood. But when that happened, all he had to do was wait a few minutes, and it would go away all on its own.

But this time it was different. Not only was this definitely not morning wood, but his entire body was uncomfortable from head to toe.

How did such a thing even happen?? Was it the work of adrenaline aided by friction? That must be it, right? Why else would he get a boner? It’s not like he wanted to fuck his little brother-in-law, that would be ridiculous!

The image of the said person lying under him helplessly, with his cheeks ruddy and eyes wet and misty, flashed in Levi’s mind.

And then, as if to spite him, his rock-hard member got even harder.

…Fuck. QAQ

That… can’t be…!

It is surely a normal reaction for a healthy man to get a bit excited when put in such a compromising position with a seductive person of the opposite s…wait… same sex??

Could it be that he was actually gay and never knew?!? 😱

…this probably wasn’t the right time but…

Levi opened up the light screen interface of his communicator and did an internet search for “are you gay test”

He saw a site that seemed reliable (had “psychology” and “medicine” in its name) and clicked on the test.

“Do you feel confused about your sexual orientation?”

If I wasn't feeling confused, would I be taking this test?!? ‎
(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

“Do you have same-sex sexual fantasies or dreams?”

No!

“Do you feel sexually attracted to people of the same sex?”

No!

…or do I? 🤔

Levi stopped to ponder. An image of his lovely brother-in-law pinned underneath him couldn’t help but pop up again.

That…! Just because he happened to get an erection while pinning the little guy down… and recalling pinning him down… proves nothing! It could just be a coincidence!

"Do you feel sexually aroused when being touched by a male?"

...like he said… it was all… just a coincidence…

…

…he'll just... skip that question for now...

"Do you consider yourself a fashionable person?"

What does that have to do with being gay?!? (ꐦ °Д°)

The following questions were a bunch of similar nonsense:

"Do you like shopping? If you are going to a party, how long does it usually take you to get ready? Would you look into having body hair removed? On average, how long does it take you to do your hair in the mornings?"

What kind of bullshit is this?? (°ㅂ°╬)

Levi scrolled right through a sea of seemingly meaningless questions until his eyes landed on...

“Do you finger your anus?”

Woooah that escalated quickly!!!

What the fuck is wrong with you people? Who made this test?! It’s so horrendous that even my erection has gone down!

In a fit of fury, Levi shut down his communicator and flung the door of his stall open.

…only to see Noah’s reflection in the mirror in front of his stall looking as erotic as humanly possible, with sparkling translucent droplets of water sliding down his slender white neck towards his delicate collarbones, leaving wet trails in their wake.

Levi’s heart nearly leaped out of his chest with fright! Before his mind could process what it was seeing, he had slammed the door shut again.

Great… his boner was back… 
○|￣|_

…

…so

…. maybe he should check the community answers? ╮(╯▽╰)╭

Author Note

I'm not making this shit up! A similar site with an identical gay test exists! The author actually googled the gay test before writing this chapter!