Chapter 22 – No kisses before marriage!

Levi sat with a blissful smile on his face as his big hand was going back and forth, stroking the fluffy and silky hair.

‘bro…’ Noah sat next to him awkwardly, looking as if he wanted to say something, but didn’t know how to even start. ‘bro…I don’t know how to tell you this, but…’

His heart was torn between amusement, second-hand embarrassment, and there was even a bit of contentment mixed in: ‘bro… you are petting the wrong cat- no, wrong head… the cat had moved off my head 30 minutes ago…’

Finally, Noah couldn’t help but kindly point out, “Brother-in-law… the cat… has moved away…”

“Mn,” Levi half-heartedly hummed, but his hand didn’t pause in any way. He didn’t even glance Noah’s way lest he gave away that he was perfectly aware he wasn’t running his fingers through a cat’s fur.

Trey, sitting on the sofa opposite of them, cursed the fact that shameless people were invincible and took comfort in the cat he was petting. He had to hand it to Levi, this degree of shamelessness was approaching an art. Not everyone had the talent and perseverance required to excel at it. Trey sure didn’t.

Just when Noah was feeling at his wits ends at how to subtly direct his brother-in-law into petting an actual cat, Noah’s communicator rang. He took that as an excuse to jump up from the sofa and both gracefully and very naturally shrug off Levi’s hand.

Levi shot the communicator a dirty look, wishing he could beat up the person on the other side until they forgot Noah’s number.

This better not be another pig after his little cabbage!

The name of the caller was Fynn, and besides being one of Aris’s friends, he was also an inspector working for the peacekeepers. The higher-ups in the law enforcement knew that the two were on good terms, so whenever they had to communicate with Aris, they would send him as the messenger.

“Hey, Fynn. What’s up?”

“Where are you? What are you doing? When can I see you?” responded the mellow voice from the other side.

“Pfft, as straight to the point as ever,” Noah laughed, “I’m hanging out with my brother-in-law in a cat café. Are you calling about the Blazer incident?”

“Yeah. I’ve been put on the case. Can we meet up today? I can come to you, just send me the address.”

Noah glanced in Levi’s direction, “Will this take long?”

“No. Just want to ask you some follow up questions and update you on the status of the case.”

“Alright,” Noah sent him his coordinates through his communicator. “When you come, just tell someone to lead you to the Soother room.”

“Give me five minutes, I’ll be right there.”

Noah had barely responded with an ‘OK’ before the other side hung up.

Noah let another puff of laughter. Fynn was always on a case and seemed to never have time for anything besides work. Even though he and Aris were friends, and they saw each other often, the two had very rarely gone out in a private capacity. The man was even trying to free up time so hard that he cut down on any superfluous words and actions, appearing to always be in a rush, yet he somehow still failed to free up any time!

“Sorry about this, brother-in-law,” Noah sat back down on the sofa, “This is about that power rampage incident I mentioned to you before. It is an important matter, and inspector Fynn won’t take up much of our time. I hope you don’t mind?”

“Mn.” Levi hummed noncommittally, seemingly not minding the situation. Actually, Levi had minded it at first, but since the other side didn’t seem to be after his cabbage-no, his kitten, curiosity won over. Since Noah had been in the incident, Levi naturally wanted to know all about it. And Levi, as a peacekeeper himself, had heard of this inspector Fynn and his power before. He had a good reputation and was a rising star in the department due to the sheer speed and efficacy in solving cases.

Confirming that the decision he had made due to obligation wouldn’t inconvenience his brother-in-law, Noah let out an internal breath of relief and relaxed into the sofa. And then his body stiffened up in dumbfounded bafflement when he felt a hand, he was now very familiar with, entangling itself in his hair again.

Noah speechlessly turned to look at Levi’s satisfied face, ‘…brother in law, didn’t you say you like cats? Why is the only cat you’ve petted so far the one which climbed on top of my head?’

щ（ﾟДﾟщ）

‘Is my head nicer to stroke than a cat? That can’t be, right?’

This enigmatic brother-in-law seemed to have really taken Noah as a kid to be pampered and spoiled. Noah didn’t know how to feel about that. On the one hand, he enjoyed receiving the other’s care, but on the other, he didn’t wish to be viewed as a kid. He was clearly an adult, ok!?

How can he make his brother-in-law see him as an adult? 🤔

“Um… brother in law… I am not a child anymore…” Noah made a pathetic attempt.

“Mn,” Levi responded.

“I’m already legally an adult.” Noah tried again.

The hand caressing his head froze in its tracks.

Noah: Phew, I seemed to have gotten through to him. 
(～￣▽￣)～

Levi: …So having sex with him isn’t considered a felony anymore? (⊙ˍ⊙)

Noah: …why do I feel a sudden chill? ＞︿＜

Levi: Shit! My cabbage isn’t legally off-limits anymore!! Law is no longer helping keep those pesky pigs off my cute little cabbage! What to do??

Trey, the cabbage eating pig: (ꐦ▔皿▔) You are the only pig here!! And this cabbage isn’t yours! 

Finally, after a long and heavy silence, Levi opened his lips and spoke in a grave tone, “Just because you are now an adult doesn’t mean you can now have sex. No sex before marriage.”

Noah sat there, staring at this deathly serious brother-in-law completely dumbfounded.

…bro! (っ °Д °;)っYou’ve misunderstood what I was trying to say! 

Trey, on the other hand, choked on the saliva he was about to spit out in his outrage. ‘What the hell?! Are you intentionally trying to ruin my future sex life?!? Just because you can’t bang this sweet ass, you want to ruin the chances of everyone else?! Shameless bastard!!’

‎(ﾉಥ益ಥ）ﾉ ┻━┻

After a moment of flabbergasted silence, Noah decided to disregard what just happened and steer this conversation back on track. But then, as the words were midway to reaching his mouth, his mind fully comprehended the implications of what his brother-in-law just said, and they turned into: “…so you and sister still haven’t done it?” Noah did his best to hold in a snicker. Wasn’t this brother-in-law, with his traditional views on marriage, really cute? (／≧ω＼)❤

“No,” Levi replied with confidence and finality.

‘No wonder you are so pent up and don’t want anyone else to get some action!’ Trey cursed Levi out in his mind.

Noah, on the other hand, interpreted this quite differently. He softly chuckled, this cute brother-in-law was really attached to his position as the older and more experienced one! In the end, he just didn’t want Noah to reach the bases before him, right? How cute! (⋟﹏⋞)

“I understand,” Noah tried to hide a smile behind his hand, “I definitely won’t lose my virginity before you, older brother. You can rest assured!” After all, your big wedding is just around the corner.

Trey was thinking the same thing. Phew!

On the other hand, the wondrous mind of Levi, went in the complete opposite direction: if he kept his virginity, would that mean no pigs would eat his cabbage? 🤔 He liked the sound of that.

But then, Levi abruptly realized that this promise was full of loopholes that needed to be fixed asap!

“No kisses either!”

Noah’s head snapped to look at his deathly serious brother-in-law, “No kisses before marriage???”

Levi was trying to say that Noah, in addition to not having sex before Levi, wasn’t allowed to kiss people before Levi either, but… actually, not being allowed to kiss before marriage sounded even better! He just had to make sure no pesky flies even dared dream of marrying his little kitten.

Thus, Levi nodded very seriously, “Mn.”

Noah suddenly found this situation incredibly funny. He couldn’t help but want to tease this hypocritical brother in law, “Brother-in-law, you shouldn’t have double standards. Are you saying that you and sis haven’t kissed yet either?”

Levi shamelessly continued to nod with what seemed to be utmost sincerity, “That’s right.”

If what he was saying wasn’t absurd, Noah would have been convinced by his performance.

Levi and Aris’s sister had been dating for years. Even though they lived in different cities and were busy with their careers, they would make time to meet up for lunch or a dinner date every week. The pictures of the two acting intimate could be seen in magazines every month!

Noah: “…” Brother… now I’m starting to suspect you are lying through your teeth just to ruin my sex life… (￢_￢;)