Chapter 109 – Lubricants? Condoms? Check and check.

The eldest Cordia sibling slapped her own cheek in an attempt to wake up, but the one who got startled awake was not herself but her little brother, whose head had been nodding off to the side.

“What? What??” The little half-asleep darling suddenly jumped up like a startled bunny.

Frustration mixed with helplessness, bubbling up inside the eldest Cordia, eventually getting expelled in the form of a grumble, “…nothing… If you are so sleepy, stop idling around in Levi’s room and go to bed!”

Another long and silent moment passed, during which her baby brother blinked with a blank look on his face.

“I AM in bed…”

Sister, “…???”

Noah, “…?”

“…you’re in bed?”

“Mn?”

“Right now?”

“Mn?”

“In Levi’s room??” 😱

“Yes– no… we are sharing a room…”

The sight in front of the eldest Cordia sibling went black for a moment. Levi?? Sharing a room with someone else?! Her Astar Levi?? The one who can’t stand the presence of other people within a hundred meters of him?! Especially when he was trying to sleep!??

The same Astar Levi who forced his parents to move his cradle out of the master bedroom as soon as he was old enough to speak?!?

Holy crap!!!

This very shellshocked ex-fiancée had so many questions muddling her brain that she couldn’t form a coherent sentence. After a long while of trying to speak only to end up looking like a fish out of water, the only words that she managed to squeeze out were, “…but why?”

“…he has trouble sleeping without my soothing…” Noah rubbed his eyes. When he opened them again they had turned red and watery, as if he had been bullied by a bad person and was now holding his tears in, looking very wronged.

Sis that received a critical hit, “…Rest early.”

“You too, nighty night,” Noah yawned cutely again and without further ado, hung up.

…

A long time afterwards, this dumbfounded elder sister was still standing in the same spot in a stupor.

The soothing explanation did seem reasonable but… something kept nagging at her. She just couldn’t put the thought down.

“…”

“…!”

It must be because…!

‘Bro, whose spy are you?! Don’t tell me you are a double agent?!’ 😱

‘Curse you Astar Levi! Give me my baby brother back and go get your own little darling!’ QAQ

Blackie tsked thinking about what the “abhorrent” Astar Levi would respond with: ‘No! Get lost! (≖ ‸ ≖) It’s you who should go get your own little darling! This one is mine!!’

***

After a thorough cleanse, Levi went out of the shower in only a towel again. His mouth was stuck in a perpetual smile thinking about the delicious meal waiting for him in bed.

Of course, Astar Levi hadn’t put his communicator on the “do not disturb” mode because he was taking a shower. No, no! He put it on the “do not disturb” mode because he had big plans for tonight! Plans that he naturally didn’t wish disturbed, duh!

His cute little froggy was boiled through, and now it was time for Levi to come clean about his intentions. After all, his baby couldn’t come to the wedding not knowing it was his own.

Tonight was the time to tear apart that paper thin ambiguity between them and make his baby his!

Levi diligently went over all the steps in his plan once again. Making sure he was fully prepared for all the intricate tactical maneuvers he was about to do.

He couldn’t predict how this battle would turn out exactly, so the best course of action was to be prepared for all possible scenarios. No, don’t get him wrong, he was not accepting anything less than a victory! All endings to tonight were certainly happy endings, he wouldn’t have marched out with guns blazing otherwise. It was just that he couldn’t predict which route his war campaign would end up taking in the end. Some routes were better than others but he didn’t have a map so he wouldn’t know which was which until stepping foot on it.

Well, in any case, Levi had made sure to thoroughly wash every corner of himself, with special attention to his nether regions. He even sprayed a bit of cologne above his neck, and bellow his torso. His baby liked cleanliness and nice smelling things, thus Levi had to make sure to leave a fragrant and clean first impression.

This big bad wolf once again went through his mental checklist to reassure himself that he hadn’t forgotten a single thing.

Cologne? Check.

Breath freshener? Check.

High class wine worth a fortune? Check.

Romantic clear night sky? Check.

Good, good. This evening would be perfect end to a perfect date! If he failed to seduce his darling tonight in such good conditions he might as well be a pig!

Of course, he hadn’t completely lost his head. He couldn’t eat this juicy cabbage without its consent and his baby was probably too shy to be eaten right away. But a few nibbles should be fine, no?

A man can hope, right?

Ahem! He needed to be fully prepared, just in case… just in case…

Thus…

Lubricants? Condoms? Check and check.

Though, that being said, let it be known that he, Astar Levi, had no intention of using a condom!

If you asked him, has baby was clean from inside out, and a silly thing like a condom would just get in the way. Why would he want something in between his dick and his baby’s warm and snug insides?

Alas, he still had to prepare one just in case his baby used the “we can’t! we don’t have a condom” excuse.

Levi nodded his head again, satisfied at the meticulousness of his preparations.

Tonight he would be kissing those soft pink lips for sure, and if he played his cards right it might even lead to… hehe. (⺣◡⺣)♡

With a confident poise, though still only wearing a towel, Levi strode into the bedroom. He made sure that both his strut and his gaze carried a seductive languid charm.

‘Look into my eyes baby, and be seduced!’ ♡

With his wild charm on full display, Levi’s piercing eyes met with the eyes of his delicious prey! The two beautiful amber eyes that were currently…!

Closed. And. Shut.

Levi faltered in his step and the towel that purposefully wasn’t fastened securely, accidentally dropped, tangling his legs. The glorious soldier Astar Levi, stumbled and nearly toppled to the ground even before the first battle started.

He desperately grabbed at the bedside table with one hand and clutched the towel with the other. After finally managing to straighten up from his shameful tumble, his panicked eyes darted to his darling who was currently…!

…Still sleeping like a dead piglet…

Levi, “…”

Levi first let out a breath of relief, then an angry snort.

(ꐦ ≖ ‸ ≖)

He stood next to the bed rooted to the spot, grinding his teeth for a good while. Trying to convince himself that he should be happy that his baby didn’t see his disgraceful fumble of just now.

But how come all he felt right now was the gloom from having all his glorious plans for tonight foiled?!

(ﾉಥ益ಥ)ﾉ ┻━┻

Levi’s hands itched, and before he knew it, he found himself pinching his baby’s cute little nose.

No response whatsoever. His darling didn’t even swat his hand away.

Levi, “…” (￢з￢)

Tempted by his baby’s warm and smooth skin, Levi proceeded to poke Noah’s cheek several times at the place where his darling’s dimple usually appeared.

“…”

Nothing.

It’s official.

He was as dead as a rock.

Just as dead as Levi’s plans for tonight…

Finally, with his left eyebrow twitching uncontrollably, Levi slid his index finger over those tempting pink lips that he had been 100% sure he’d be kissing tonight.

Very soft and plump.

…And also, very unresponsive.

○|￣|_

‘Fine! You win this time!’ Levi could do nothing but concede. But this was not a loss! Just a tactical retreat…

‘Mark my words! This. Is. Not. Over!’

Blackie whose chip was crackling from how hard he was laughing, ‘Oh, I marked your words alright! What was it again? “If I fail to seduce my darling tonight in such good conditions I might as well be a pig?” Heh heh, congratulations piggy, your title is now official.’ 😂