Leonor narrating: I got out of the car euphoric, not thinking exactly about what I wanted to do, I just felt a need to shout out my feelings as Hard had taught me. In front of my mother's house with a golf club in hand, I walked to the door and pushed as hard as I could until the handle opened. That scene made my rage rise even higher, and I just felt, without thinking, as if I were guided only by my anger losing control of my own impulses:- What do you think you're doing? - the man who was accompanying her said in an intimidating and angry tone, getting up from the sofa.- What do I think I'm doing? What do you think you are doing inside the house that also belongs to me? - he said, shouting and hitting a glass that was on the table with the bat, causing it to break on the floor. - The house that my father worked worlds to keep a roof over the head of the person I should call mother, only to have her betray him. - As the words came out of my mouth in screams, I would throw
Hard narrating: Watching Leonor's car move further and further away from me tightened my chest, but I knew I needed to let her go, it wasn't part of me to want to decide the fate she would take, even if I knew that next to Call she will never be happy. I looked into her eyes as she talked about her frustrations and wondered if I could be good enough for her, if I could make her happy, and each time she smiled not only with her mouth but also with her eyes, I understood that I should be able to, that it was my duty to do so. But as a person who had never known love, how could I deal with someone so sweet and fearless? I might be older than Leonor, but still when I was beside her I felt like just a little boy in the middle of a teenage flirtation, a boy about to lose someone who feels something other than attraction. After spending a day with her I realized that it was not just about wanting to have her as a possession, but I wanted to have her to love her, to be in her life
Leonor narrating: Hard looked into my eyes and let the words come out in a way that created fear in me, at the same time it made me give in to the real feeling that made me look for him again, the desire to feel protected, as if he could hold my whole world just by looking into my eyes. I understand my mother now, for seeing that I have spent a lifetime judging a feeling of which I am about to discover, I am about to find, and I see with other eyes the betrayal or less in my marriage, since I was betrayed for five years by the person I swore to love, who lied to me. The betrayal doesn't necessarily have to be physical. I felt like running out of Hard's way, because I felt all that flood of feelings and desire coursing through me like an electric current that made me want to rip off that apron and throw the spatula he was holding in his hands away, but it was as if my feet were stuck to the ground, and even though a part of me felt like I needed to run, another part of me felt li
Hard narrating: Throwing the spatula I held in my hands on the floor, I intertwined my arms around her waist bringing her closer while my hands traveled her perfect body, feeling and unraveling with the tips of my finger, every curve while our kiss became more and more intense, it was crazy the feeling she generated in me, just by my hands being in contact with her body while she surrendered with her sweet lips that still contained the smell and taste of Alcohol. Leonor stopped kissing me and looked into my eyes and the little distance she put between us made me feel as if I couldn't let go, not at that moment, I didn't want it to be just a kiss. I pulled her again with my hands going through her neck and stopping at the nape of her neck, supporting her head and a hot and wet kiss, going down my hand on her waist I squeezed her ass bringing her closer to me, with an impulse she jumped interlacing her legs in my back, and our bodies met with our hands sliding as if there was
Call narrating:The whole time Leonor came through the door I sat there, questioning, paralyzed I still couldn't understand everything that was happening but deep down a part of me began to believe everything both my father and Hard had told me. When I stop to look back at our relationship, I don't see where exactly love was stronger than all my ambition. All of this only appeared when I made the worst decision of my life, which was to have sold my wife, but this had already been predominating me from the beginning, I wanted to be better than my father, that was exactly why I signed that contract even before our engagement, but when I knelt before Leonor and she accepted the only feeling that predominated at first was the feeling that I had succeeded, that I would shut my father up, I would prove that neither Leonor nor I were who he thought we were. The way she stood out at the partners' dinner took me to her, because this way I was closer to being able to prove to my father that I
Hard narrating Standing in front of the magazine's office one Sunday morning at seven o'clock, after the security guard informed me of a strange movement in front of the building, and still wondering why Leonor had run desperate up the stairs after surrendering to her desire in a way that I never imagined she would. Leonor showed herself to be a woman afraid of nothing, a woman who knows what she wants, and having her pleasure in doing exactly what she wants made me want her even more, she gave herself up without being afraid to feel every moment. And for the first time, I felt fulfilled, as if Leonor had been the only woman who managed to make me relax. And now I'm lying on the seat of her car sleeping in front of the magazine office, not understanding how or why their paths had brought her there. I didn't know how things would turn out between us after what happened the night before, a part of me feared, feared that she would close herself off, repress herself because of the
Leonor narrating: The problem with alcohol, is that it dries up all your reserves of hormones that generate joy, and the euphoria of that moment the night before, had become an immensity of feelings that oppressed my chest at the same time that generated an absurd shame for the decision I had made at that moment. I couldn't say that I regretted it, it had been something intense, and this intensity would leave marks on me. Everything was confusing, and it rose up like a cry catching my throat in the midst of all the confusion that was in me, I thought about Hard, and I wanted him with all my strength, I wanted to have him again and feel him forcing himself inside me again. But Call's memories took shape of the good times we had, of the times it was just us, especially the times we had just each other, holding each other's hand tightly without thinking of giving up. Each memory, each memory, I went up with a bitter taste as if stabbed in my chest weakening my legs taking me towa
Hard narrating: Leaving the bathroom still disoriented to get a dry towel for Leonor, I forced myself to contain my impulse to want to go back and remain under the shower feeling the water fall on us, I looked at the way with which she smiled in a corner, even with her eyes still sad, I wanted to take care of her until her heart was healed of all the pain Call had caused her, and by an instinct that her presence caused me, my mind whirled around as if for a minute I was sleeping awake imagining the two of us under the shower, watching her smile as we made the decision to have a child. Leonor is right, it is impossible to fall in love after the third date, but how can I explain to myself the desire to fulfill all my dreams at her side? To see her fulfill hers? If she chooses to leave, how will I live leaving her at the mercy of the feelings that her husband will provide? Returning to the bathroom I handed her the towel with a kiss on the forehead and went back to the kitchen
Leonor narrating; With my legs still shaky, I walked, with each step, I felt in me the desire to escape from there, to run away, retracing the path back to Hard. On the balcony of the house, my body slipped, leaving me on the ground once again. The tears came down, with pain, with longing, my father was gone, and it was my fault, it was my fault for having believed in a love that only carries greed. I knew that money to Call's family is like quicksand, and no matter what they need to pull into the hole for support to always be out of the hole. In my hands contained the destruction of Call's family, if the secrets, if who they really are, were thrown in front of the fan, all the power they hold so dear would be gone. Not even all their money could clean up the mess that would tarnish the name of their companies. The problem is that everything around me will be pulled down, just as my father was, just as Hard can be. I had never imagined that the phrase love is blind, could be re
Hard narrating: To have her, to feel her, to see her there naked on the bed of a cold and moldy smelling apartment while my body shuddered in desire and fulfillment, she was the anchor that kept me standing, it was for her that I chose not to war anymore with mafias, I felt I didn't need anything else but her, not even power or money, for the first time in life, the warmth of a naked body and naive eyes full of pain were able to thaw the ice stone that I imagined I had in place of a heart, someone was able to make me shiver into something beyond hate, beyond pleasure. The silence was perfect beside her, even seeing the seepage stains on the ceiling above us, my hands passed around her waist, and her sweet smell mixed with alcohol, was the only one I wanted to feel during the rest of my lonely days: -Leonor... - I said, startled, watching her get out of bed and walk towards her clothes. -I have to go ... - Leonor answered me in a saddened tone of voice as she looked
Leonor narrating: Through the streets I walked feeling my legs trembling, the despair dominated me at each step, I couldn't accept everything, and I couldn't deal with Hard's death, not now. My eyes were closing and aimlessly I was begging for everything to be a lie, I was even begging for lightning to fall on my head, I was screaming inside even if my lips were only whispering, I didn't care if people saw me in that state and looked at me with total contempt, as if I were a drunk. From the moment I realized the farce I was forcing myself to believe, that Call's mask fell before my eyes, a whole life also fell apart, as if I no longer knew anything about my own life, everything was just pain, I could only see reality in my moments with Hard, and I hated myself for having left the certainties that inhabited me to recreate myself once again in lies. A whole life caring about people, taking care of them, maybe that's why I saw no problem in reinventing myself as many times as I ne
Trembling I held the cell phone still in my hands, I looked at the cars paralyzed, my mind questioning itself, not wanting to believe it: - how can you do this to me, are you crazy Leonor? Call's euphoric screams echoed, bringing a yearning to my stomach, to hear his voice, to feel the fear eating me up, the fear of the truth. Turning around, I looked into six eyes, feeling the ember of mine burning, I raised my hands, wanting to tell him something but I felt weak even to release the words, my legs bowed as I stared at him, with his pale face, reliving every moment he told me about how he did not want to be a father, feeling the weight of his silence the bitterness was eating me up: - It was important for me to talk to this man tonight Leonor.... - Call continued to shout. - How can I... How can I be such a fool, I can't believe it... It was so in front of my eyes... - I started to speak, still weak, but anger was taking over every part of me. - What are you saying Leono
-Leonor narrating: I sat there for about fifteen minutes waiting for Call to return, thinking about all the excuses I could give him and hating myself, hating myself for having become so good at lying about Hard, and now all that desire that had been so good to be consumed had turned into a brief nightmare, I started to feel disgusted with myself when I saw the frustration stamped in Call's eyes at the moment when he was being so thoughtful by bringing me to dinner, while all I do is lie to him: -So...is everything okay with your dad? - I asked him as I saw him walking back to the table in complete frustration. -My father? - he asked as if he didn't know what he was talking about. - My father of course... okay, he had a medical appointment, he's going to need some tests. -Do you want to talk about what my friend said? I don't want there to be any misunderstanding between us. Leonor, we are starting over, I can't start over if I keep distrusting you, if I keep
Call narrating: When he got home he was worried that he hadn't received any news from Leonor and was afraid that his mother might have said something to him. But she was sitting on the couch with a corner smile as if she was feeling light-hearted: -everything okay? - I asked her, still unsure. -Yes, everything is fine. My mother and I talked and she left, but at least a part of me feels that we are at peace now. That's good Leonor, I'm glad that you two have worked things out. What do you say we go out to dinner? Just the two of us at that restaurant you like. - I said, running my hands down your legs, wrapping a kiss around you and touching your body. - Okay, I'll put some clothes on. - She said in a more despondent tone than I expected. Leonor went upstairs to put on some clothes, I looked at her admiring her smile, thinking that everything between us was really in the same place, no Sandra, no Hard, just the two of us. Today's dinner is a great oppor
Leonor narrating: - Call... where's Call? Speaking in an altered voice I arrived at the office of Call looking obsessively for him, I could not stop my thoughts and kept imagining all the possible causes that would have led him to send that amount to my mother. For some reason of insecurity I believed that it was not one of the best : - Calm down Mrs. Leonor... - his secretary told me. - "Calm down Mrs. Leonor"? you're playing with my face, go after him now. - Hey Leonor calm down, I'm here ... what's going on? - Call said coming up behind me putting his hands on my shoulder. - Why is everyone asking you to stay calm today?- I said in a rude tone again. - Because you're completely euphoric and screaming. Let's go to my office and talk about it, okay? - Call said in a calm tone of voice and somehow calmed me down as his hands touched mine. If he was so peaceful it couldn't be anything bad. We entered his office, I sat down in his chair and felt my legs tremblin
Leonor narrating: With a breakfast tray and flowers by my side, I woke up in bed with a note from Call telling me how much he loved me and how willing he was to never lose me again, along with a fart of apology for going to work early. Looking at it all I smiled, running my hand over the perfectly clean sheet with the smell of fabric softener, inhaling the sweet smell of feeling at home, the pride for my home had returned, I just wanted to get out of bed and prepare an amazing lunch for my husband. It was as if peace reigned in me again, as if I was ready to start over. I went downstairs, and with the laptop open on the couch, I started looking for a new job, until I was interrupted by an email that caught my attention, Call had made a high transfer to my mother's account, sighing deep in a scare I got up from the couch running around the room, wondering why that transfer. Call narrating: As I walked through the doors of the company, I was determined to make t
Call narrating: Leonor went upstairs to take a shower while carefully preparing the foods she liked. When we started dating, it was a kind of relationship that had nothing cliché about it, that everything was insane and in the heat of the moment, we did crazy things when we decided on the spot as if we were living intensely, we looked at other couples and realized that we had something different, we loved each other and showed it in a way. I was dominated by insecurity, every time I came home and my father was drunk, he would laugh saying how foolish I was to believe in love, to believe that Leonor was the right person and that we would live forever together, He laughed saying that he would be sitting in his armchair waiting for the day that I would arrive heartbroken, and then I would understand exactly what a man he is, sitting beside him and grabbing a glass of whiskey to drown my sorrows for having fallen in love with a woman like Leonor. That night I was so frustrated th