CHAPTER TWO

"How about this fabric, Ms. Sanchez?" My assistant showed me another fabric for our next commissioned project. I touched the fabric she was showing me as I looked at the pattern and the design at hand. Meticulously checking the fabrics and making sure it will be worth every penny the client paid.

"It’s okay. Take it, thank you.” I said and told her to go give it to those who are in charge of sewing it. I walked back to my work station and sat on my desk turning my lamp on pulling my drawer open.

I took out my sketch book and started designing another dress. After Hansel's wedding, I didn’t have enough time to see them again as I have more commissions at hand and those who asked me to design their dresses flocked to me, and I think it was for the better. At least, I get to concentrate on my work again. I continued to sketch for hours and started to do the measurements to the fabrics available. This is my usual routine until the sun set. In my workshop, all I can see are my designs, and fabrics, and hear only the sound of sewing machines. 

I stretched my body when my back ached from hours of working. I looked at the wall clock and saw that it was already two in the morning. Agad kong kinuha ang susi ng sasakyan ko at bumaba sa basement kung saan naroon ang parking lot. I unlocked my car, got inside, and drove along the silent highway, letting the city lights illuminate my way. 

A lot have changed throughout the course of years. I’ve only been away for four years but it seems like this city is already foreign to me. The tall buildings and the brightly lit establishments are all new, the people busily walking during this time of the day. It was all different. I guess if someone were to ask me the only thing that hadn’t changed is the fact that you could still be stuck in traffic even though it’s already dead hours. 

Nang makarating ako sa condo ay agad akong sinalubong ng limang aso na inaalagaan ko. They were all fostered by me as I am looking for their forever home. An old golden retriever, a corgi that was thrown away by its breeder, an Alaskan malamute-Aspin mix, a disabled newfoundland, and a malnourished mini pinscher welcomed me as I opened my door.  "Oh, hi! Did you miss me?" I greeted them, tumalungko ako upang yakapin at hawakan sila isa isa. Agad akong dinamba ng golden retriever ko. "Adi, wait!" He started to lick my face as I tried to walk towards where the dog foods are. Nang bigyan ko na sila ng pagkain ay natahimik na rin sila, the food I left for them might not be enough anymore. 

After making sure all of them are settled in the room I actually made as theirs, I went to my room and started removing my makeup before washing my face. I combed my hair with my fingers and pulled it up into a messy bun then changed my clothes to a comfortable tank top and loose shorts.

When I walked back to where my dogs are, I found them playing by themselves. I let them play as I couldn’t help but to smile knowing that if I finally find their forever homes they will be loved. The five of them are all good dogs. I decided to walk to the kitchen, grabbed a cup and a tea bag then poured hot water in it. Grabbed a piece of my wheat bread, and started eating. This is how my life works everyday. Living with my dogs and if they were all rehomed I’ll be alone in my home and if the shelter contacted me that there are dogs fitting of my liking then they’ll ask me to pick it up and foster it. I have no time to cook so I rely on bread and tea every night. Sometimes my friends will send me their dinners but I long rejected this idea because I don’t want to rely on them.  I don't feel alone unlike what my friends assume, I have my dogs with me and they are a good company to keep. Dogs are even better because they won't judge you, and they are loyal to you. You are their world and they will never leave your side.

I went to my room to check my phone and saw tons of messages from Tanya and Hansel. Other messages were from my clients. I opened Hansel and Tanya's messages first. Tanya seemed to be staying at home a lot now since she's near her due date which was good for her, while Hansel kept on sending pictures of her with her husband while they were on their honeymoon to our group chat.

I'm happy that they are content with their relationships right now. I wonder, what if things worked out four years ago, will I be married by today? Will we have children running around and not dogs?  Will I have someone to travel and appreciate the world  like Hansel? I'm not actually sure. After all, I can’t say that our relationship was short-lived, it was just that it didn’t work for the both of us. I heaved a sigh and walked back to my office where papers and pen were all scattered on my table. I walked past it and looked at the canvas by the window. I stared at the unfinished artwork that has been waiting for me to finish it. It was the only evidence that I once fell in love, the only evidence that in the past, someone loved me, not until I left. Memories of him came back in mind as I stared at the painting in front of me. I remembered how my office used to be our sanctuary. How we continued to vividly color each other's life. I felt my chest tighten and the sides of my eyes brimming with tears. My hands slowly touched my desk and sat there to look at the painting in front of me. 

I can still remember how we both loved to play with paints, how he would kiss my forehead every time and tell me that he loves me. Those were good memories of the past that I wish I could bring back but I don’t even know where he is right now. I don’t even know if he will still welcome me back in his arms or I am the only one stuck in the past. I pondered for a while and decided to walk out of my office and went to bed, laying there for a few more minutes until I drifted to sleep.

“Mama!” I looked back from where those voices came from. It was a young boy with auburn hair. He was about four years of age and was running towards me. He’s holding a paper airplane and after him ran another kid with an auburn hair. They are both about the same age. 

“Mama, look what papa made for us..” the other boy caught up with him holding up a paper crane this time. Something inside me churns and all of a sudden I found myself crying as I knelt in front of them.

“Mama, why are you crying?” They both asked. One of them, the one holding the paper crane, wiped away the tears from my eyes and smiled. “Mama, don’t cry.. We don't want to see you cry..” 

Their hands reached for mine and put their paper toys in my hand. Both their little hands started to fade and I tried to reach for them again but this time they ran away.

“Mama, keep on smiling.. Just be happy. We love you so much.”

I gasped for air as I woke up from that dream I had. Sweat trickled down my forehead. My breaths heavy. Para bang tumakbo ako ng ilang milya. 

Subconsciously, I reached towards my tummy feeling it though I know there’s nothing in it. I never had a dream like this even from four years ago. 

I don't even understand what’s the meaning of this dream. I tucked myself back to sleep but this time I find it hard to come back to sleep. My mind keeps on coming back to the scene in my dreams. 

Two kids with auburn hair like him.. Though I didn't see their faces clearly I know for a fact that these kids were somewhat connected to him. 

I looked at the photo beside my bed, a photo of me and a guy with the same auburn hair. “How are you, Philos? I’ve dreamt of them, have you?” 

A tear escaped my eye and couldn't help but to snug my face on my pillow, trying to get more sleep despite the dream that I had but everytime I close my eyes all I can see are two young boys running around. Their auburn hair flowing with the wind with their hands holding a paper crane and paper plane up high to the sky. 

My alarm went off the same time my foster dogs started to cry and bark. I can also hear the door from the outside open. I walk barefoot and when I opened the door I saw my hired caretaker. She waved at me with a smile and went to the dogs room to give them their breakfast. 

After giving the dogs their breakfast she gestured if I had eaten. I shook my head and she went to the kitchen to wash her hands and started to make me breakfast.

I let her do her thing and went to the shower. My mind is still flooded by the thought of the two young boys in my dream and every time I remember it his face comes to mind. 

While blowing dry my hair my phone suddenly vibrated by my bedside table and registered Hansel’s name. I put it on a loudspeaker and continue to do my routine. “Good morning, Nezha,” she cheerfully greeted. “Ano na naman?” Tanong ko habang naglalagay ng moisturizer sa mukha ko. 

“Ang init naman ng ulo mo umagang-umaga,” she joked. I rolled my eyes. 

“What do you want?” I asked in a monotonous voice. I heard her laugh from the other side.

“Mukhang hindi maganda tulog mo ah.” Natigilan ako sa sinabi niya at napatingin sa litrato na nasa bedside table ko. 

“So what are your plans?” She asked. I shrugged. “The usual, pupunta sa workshop, magtratrabaho, gagawa ng commissioned na gown, mag dedesign ng bagong gown. The usual cycle.” I told her. Narinig kong bumuntong hininga si Hansel mula sa kabilang linya. 

“At this rate maniniwala na talaga akong tatanda kang dalaga. Other than that?” She inquired. Nag isip ako at naalala na may iba akong naka schedule ngayon. “Oh! I remembered. I have an outdoor shoot ngayon para sa Dreamy Summer collection.” 

“Goodness, Nezha!” I can see her facepalming herself. I snickered. “Wala ka na bang ibang nasa isip kundi trabaho?” 

I laughed at her. “What else could be in my mind? I don't have time for other stuff.” Bumuntong hininga ulit siya. “Nevermind. You’re hopeless. Dapat talaga hindi ka namin pabayaan ni Tanya.” Umiling-iling ako. 

“Sige na, mauna na ako may trabaho pa ako.” Paalam ko. We bid our goodbyes to each other and the line was cut off.

When I went out the smell of freshly toasted bread enveloped the place. My caretaker was already done making my breakfast and I couldn't help but to smile. She did a tuna spread that was on top of the butter toast and a bowl of salad. She also handed me my usual cup of tea. 

I gestured for her to eat but she shook her head, gesturing that she had already eaten hers. She’s deaf and mute, we only communicate with each other by sign language.

After eating my breakfast, I went back to my room and checked myself. Took my favorite barrett from my drawer and put it on my hair. I collected my necessities such as a bag, car keys, wallet, and phone then I’m ready to go. 

When I got out of my unit, I immediately walked to the elevator. Texting my assistant of what my itinerary is for today.

The elevator opened its door. And to my surprise, I saw a couple making out inside. My eyebrow shot up. They're the only ones inside and when they noticed that the elevator stopped, they immediately pulled away from each other. Both of their mouths were swollen from kissing. I pinched the bridge of my nose and sighed. "Get a room," I muttered under my breath. I rolled my eyes. 

Agad akong lumugar sa isang sulok ng elevator at hinayaan ang dalawang magkasintahan sa isang sulok na gawin ang gusto nilang gawin. I heard them whisper and nudge each other in one corner. My phone vibrated again. It was from my assistant. The fabrics we ordered were delivered already, and I need to be in the model shoot first thing today for the next line I'm releasing. This is my first time doing a line for inclusive of men’s wear. I usually do women's clothes, especially gowns and dresses but this time, I’m trying to expand my designs. When I reached the parking lot, I got inside my car immediately and drove along the busy street to the shooting location.

I smiled in contentment when I saw the place where we will be doing the shoot. It was a field of dandelions. It's perfect for my Dreamy Summer collection. The tents were already set and the photographer is finding a good angle for the shoot. Most of the models are already prepped for their shoot and some are even on the set already. 

Nang makita ako ng staff ko ay agad nila akong sinalubong. "Miss Sanchez, we have a problem. The female model for the couple shoot can't make it today because she has a fever," nag-aalalang wika ng staff ko. I smiled at them and tapped their shoulders. “I’m here already, I’ll do it.”

"The other models?" I asked them.

"They’re almost done. Most of them are resting and some are touching up for another shoot.” Tumango tango ako. 

"Prepare a dressing room for me. Bring the dresses there." Agad naman na sumunod ang mga naroon at inayos ang isang bakanteng dressing room. The rate for the models these days are quite high. I got lucky that a modeling agency actually partnered with me for my future projects for the next five years. They said the owner of their company is really interested in my work and had been watching me from the sidelines. 

I walked towards the photographer. "How's the shoot so far?" I asked him. He smiled and showed me some of the photos.

"The models your studio got were all good but a specific male model is exceptionally great. Where did you get them?" He showed me the photo of the model he was talking about. My eyes grew wide in shock when I realized who he was talking about. "He's also the one that I chose to do the couple shoot with."

"What?" Other models were looking at us in confusion and I suddenly felt my ear turn red. 

I stared at his photo, those eyes that feel like piercing through your soul, his perfectly sculpted jawline, and his lean physique. I couldn't help but to agree he was perfect for the shoot but to do a couple shoot with him, I know this will be a lot more awkward than our first encounter.