Chapter 4

THE WEEK PASSED by in a blur and still, there was no sign of Kai, Jake and Nick. I was starting to get worried and not for them, it was the mere thought that I would be stuck doing the Civic Ed assignment all on my own. Not that I couldn't do it, but still. 

The hallways were abuzz with student chit-chat as I made my way to the school library. I heard my phone vibrate through my jean pocket and I took it out to see who would text me whilst at school.

It was a text from Mum saying I had a doctor's appointment later in the afternoon.

Sighing, I typed a quick okay before stashing my phone back into my pocket.

I spent the rest of my morning in the library studying as I waited for lunch to roll up. And when it finally did, I packed my things and went to the school parking lot to wait for her to come pick me up.

"Alexis," I heard Asher's voice a few metres from where I stood.

I turned to see him jogging toward me all sweaty. "Where are you going?"

"Doctor's appointment," I simply said and he understood.

"Do you think there's going to be any good news this time around?"

"I highly doubt that's a possibility right now."

Asher sighed, "have a bit of hope would ya?"

A dry laugh escaped from my lips unwillingly. "You know, I hoped I wasn't diagnosed with such an illness at the age of nine, but guess what? That didn't happen."

"I understand that, it's just that-" I cut him off.

"No, you don't understand. you're not the one walking about knowing that any second you could just drop dead and you wouldn't even know it."

Mum's car decided that that was the best moment to pull up in front of us and I quickly got in and shut the door.

"Hey Asher," mum spoke looking between us with raised eyebrows.

"Hey Kate."

"Can we go already?" I asked impatiently.

"See you around Asher," she said and Asher waved.

We sat there in silence with me staring out the window but I could feel her gazing at me every once in a while but she didn't care utter anything and neither did I.

                               -----☆-----

"Let's run some tests on you and see what we have."

I sat there and did as the doctor said- turning, lifting, laying and what-not.

"Can I have a word with you Kate?" Dr. Dave said and mum followed him out of the little room we were currently in.

Have a bit of faith. As if that's something I can will myself to do at this point.

I sat in the little white room alone and let my thought run to the most bizarre of scenarios. What if I was never diagnosed with it? What if I got to live my life the way I wanted? What if I never get to go to college after all my hard work? Would I still be the person I am today? Those questions kept playing around in my head. But the one question I never wanted to ever think about was how my family would be without me here in there lives.

I don't know how long I zoned out-but I was pulled out of my reverie when Dr. Dave and mum came back into the room. "The tests came back negative and we are worried that the illness has reached its high and there's nothing we could do," Dr. Dave spoke. "But we will still keep you on your regular treatment until we have further information on what can be done."

I released a breathy sign, "I don't want to keep doing the treatment anymore if there's no surety that I still have enough time left."

"What! No honey, we can't stop your treatment," mum said as tears rimmed her eyes.

"But it's just a waste of money."

"No, it's not and you father and I will do everything to make sure you're better."

A dry laugh escaped from my lips as I shook my head, "you just don't get it, do you? I've lived for eight years with this thing and I can't keep doing this to you, to everyone and more importantly to myself."

"I'm afraid that's not a good idea Alexis," Dr. Dave spoke, "you've been my patient for eight years and I know you're a fighter and you will get through this."

"Oh please! This isn't something about being a fighter, it's about life and I am slowly losing mine," I scoffed.

Mum's eyes were now puffy and her nose was a ruby red colour but no tears were visible.

"I want to go home."

"Okay dear," mum said and we left the hospital and everything in it.

The atmosphere in the car was so tense that you could be able to cut through it with a knife. I didn't want to say anything after that appointment and I hoped mom felt the same way but guess I'm always wrong at everything.

"Honey we need to talk about this."

"There's nothing to talk about."

Mum glanced at me momentarily before focusing back on the road ahead. "You can't stop your treatment and you know your brother will highly be against that," she said. "How will Asher feel when he finds out that you don't want to have your treatment anymore? Do you think he will be happy about that?"

"Suffice to say James will be beyond annoyed and quite certainly livid with me but I can talk him into trying to understand my decision," I spoke, "and for Asher, I don't know what he will say. He might possibly stop talking to me after I tell him."

"Then why do you want to go ahead with it when you know you'll be hurting the ones that love you?"

"It wasn't an easy decision to come up with," I admitted. "But I am most definitely not going back on it."

Mum was quiet for a while and I assumed that was it with the talk.

"Your dad and I will be broken and you know that."

"I know."

And that was that. We drove the rest of the way home in silence as I stared at the buildings that we passed in a blur. This is the right decision, I told myself.

When we finally pulled up into the very familiar driveway-we sat there in silence with no one making a move until I got out and mum quickly followed after locking the car.

The front door was unlocked and immediately I knew dad was home already, "Dad?"

"In the kitchen honey," he shouted and I followed the voice.

"How did the appointment go?" he asked once I was in view.

"The same as usual."

Dad nodded and mum later appeared besides me.

"I thought we could hang out with the whole family like old times this Saturday," dad began, "you can invite Asher as well as his part of the family.

"But James is at school," I said with a raised eyebrow.

"Lexi!"

No way, that voice is familiar but I thought-no it can't be him.

"James?"

"Of course, it's me, who else would it be?" he asked from behind me and I turned to pull him in for a hug.

"I missed your annoying self," I sighed clutching onto him and never wanting to let go.

"Missed you too baby sis. But if you don't let go anytime soon then I might die from suffocation," he joked to which I reluctantly pulled back. "Aren't you supposed to be at school?"

"Yeah but I took a couple of days back so I can hang with you guys and annoy my baby sis," he said. "So, are we up for that family hangout or what?"

"Yes, we are."

Mum finally spoke after standing there for a long time watching us and what she said made my blood run cold.

"Alexis has something to tell you about the appointment."