Hard truths part 1

As I walk outside, my body is feeling tingly. I'm so angry that I can't even think straight. My eyes are burning, and my fingers feel like they might break. I'm feeling the pure urge just to run. I have to release this anger that I'm holding in. I look down at my phone when it sends a new message from Arron. In the reflection from my phone, my eyes are burning yellow as anger fills me up. I couldn't even react to my eyes. I let out a howl and began to jog. As I'm almost around the corner, I realize that what I thought was a jog is not. I'm running so fast that I've already made it 3 blocks away from home. I do not even feel tired. Running is what I need. I'm now miles away from home. I stop in a field, tumbling into the grass and rolling over a few times. Trying to stop myself, I finally lay down in the grass, inhaling the air and feeling powerful. I look at my phone, and while looking at my phone, getting ready to play some music, I notice my hands are more extensive. My fingers are more extended and almost curled, and my fingernails look like the ends of a sharp knife. My appearance takes me back. I stand up quickly, looking at myself, my heart racing. I know this feeling; I'm having a panic attack. I start to talk myself through the panic attack. “ okay, Lena, you got this. Breathe, breathe nice and slow. “ while I'm breathing, I'm so overwhelmed that I fall to my knees.

The sun glazing over my face forces my eyes open. I look around, not knowing where I am or how I got here. I slowly get up, looking around my surroundings. “ hmm, that's weird. How did I get here? “ I located my phone off the ground with only six percent left. I quickly downloaded Lyft so I could get home. Once the Lyft arrived, I felt awkward because I did not have shoes, my clothes were dirty, my hair was all over the place, looks like I'd been in a fight. I get into the car, trying not to look directly at the driver. I face the window, but my eyes are sore, so I angle to the driver. He looks at me through the rearview mirror and says, “Hello, ma'am. How are you today? “ I respond. I'm honestly embarrassed. I'm not sure how I got here. “ looking ashamed, he responds with a slight chuckle. “ must have been a full moon, huh?” I look back at him, not saying anything, trying to remember the events of last night. All I can remember is being upset with Arron for his lies and nothing. I think to myself maybe I went for drinks. I reply, “Maybe I had too many drinks and decided to walk home and passed out.” the driver says, “Well, you should be careful. Not everyone is friendly. Somebody could've harmed you. I'm glad I was able to get you home safely. “ I thank him, but he just brushes it off like it is nothing. We are pulling up to my home. I had been in this car for maybe 45 minutes. I couldn't believe I was so far out. I head into my home and sit at Torrine's bedside. She can tell I am sad, but she doesn't even ask. I know I look a mess. She hugs me while I let out a few tears. “ how did I get to this point where my little sister has to comfort me? I can't believe I let a man get me this bothered that I drank myself to Misery and couldn't even make it back home. Thank goodness nothing horrible happened to me. “ I couldn't even acknowledge my sister face to face. I held my head down, placing my phone on a charger in the heat of

The moment I go to text Arron, “Hi Arron, I'm genuinely sorry for what you are facing. I wish I could be there for you more, but since you won't allow it, you've gotten distant from me, and I can't take the silence you're on social media, following my friends, and worse of all your short with me. I need someone who will be there for me, how I'm there for you. I have put my love Into you, and you haven't put yours into me. I know my worth, and this isn't working. If you ever need me as a friend, I'll be around. “ sending the message off, I feel relief, but I also feel my heart shatter even more.

A few weeks have passed, and we are now in November, a few days before Thanksgiving.

Work has been slow, so I've been leaving early or not coming. Indeed, my heart just hasn't been in it lately. Sitting in my dad's truck, I think about friends and family. Then, of course, I've thought about Arron, but every time a thought of him comes to mind, I instantly think of something else pushing those feelings to the side. Still, this time, it feels different. “ an instant flashback comes to me of the night I was in the field. I remember seeing my eyes through my phone screen and how they changed color.” I've been scared to acknowledge what happened to me. Also, who would believe me? I'm not even sure what happened to me. I let go of that thought and returned to the house.

My sisters were all sitting downstairs watching a werewolf film. They love documentaries. My dad never let us watch anything that involved vampires, witchcraft, and werewolves, but Mom, on the other hand, let us watch anything we wanted as long as Dad didn't find out. I sit next to Gaia, asking what was missed while outside. Gaia pauses the TV, staring, looking annoyed by my question. “ I'm not going to keep telling you what happened. Lena, Dad will be getting off soon. We don't have time to stop and catch you up. “ I slide down into my seat, saying sorry. I'm not even in the mood to argue at this point. Torrine rolls her eyes and says, “You didn't miss much. We saw a human turn into a wolf. The eyes changed color, and the body transformed into an animal. It looked painful. “ I'm looking at the excitement in torrines eye. She quickly presses play and shushes everyone. Now I'm thinking of the night I was in the field and how my eyes changed. I quickly ask can I see that remote?

Grabbing the remote, I rewind for five minutes. Gaia screams, “Stop! You're going too far !” pressing play. I'm examining the details of what is happening. I never believed these stories, but they are interesting to see. While watching, my heart begins to race. Even though I said I Don't think werewolves are real, I'm starting to remember everything that happened to me that night. I toss the remote off to Gaia and run outside, feeling that same feeling. I'm beginning to panic. I can't wrap my mind around how I could be a wolf! How is this possible? I ask myself out loud as I'm pacing the yard. I feel that same feeling; my eyes are burning, my heart is beating fast, and my fingers are hurting this time more than the first time, causing me to scream so loud that my sisters come running outside. I'm now at my knees, holding my eyes shut and my hands in the pockets of my hoodie. They get to my side asking what's wrong, trying to help me up in trying to hide what's happening to me, but the pain is so intense I can't fight it monaye grabs my left hand out of my pocket when I fall over in intense pain she looks at my hand and drops it quickly I now open my eyes, and torrine is looking at me she gasps but doesn't back away from me she is in awe torrine says “ oh my. Your eyes lena they are fading into yellow and black “ she grabs my face a tear rolls down I let out a growl when I want to scream for help it comes out in growls and grunts Gaia is standing by. She is in disbelief she looks at her watch them goes onto say “ come on guys quickly let's bring her inside so no one sees this “ she bends down to grab my feet monaye says “ I'm not grabbing her look at her hands no way bro “ I'm still laying here in agony a neighbors porch light comes on Gaia moves monaye out the way and puts my arm over her shoulder and torrine does the same they start walking me to the house we get to the door and Gaia fuses at monaye demanding she opens the door quickly since she didn't want to help we get into the house moving to the basement they let go of me gently placing me on a cot I turn over holding my stomach howling in pain I can hear them freaking out once I let out a howl monaye runs to grab water Gaia looks at torrine and says I think she is having a panic attack torrine responds “ not only that but I think lena Is a shewolf “ monaye reaches me water I knock the glass out of her hand scratching her trying to go for it she freaks out running away from me crying and holding her arm I try to get up and apologize Gaia and torrine try to hold me down saying not to move at this point I'm standing over them I can see hair on my arms and hand feel my face and all hell breaks loose in my hysteria I accidentally scratch both torrine and Gaia it's not worse then monaye she may need to see a hospital.

I'm trying to apologize for the scratches. I feel terrible, but at the same instance, I can't understand what's happening to me. Torrine says, “We need to put her to sleep before she kills us. “those words anger me; I would never kill them! Gaia responds, “Mom's medicine cabinet. We need to get her anxiety medicine, but how much do we give her? “ monaye says with anger. “ the whole bottle. She's an animal she needs to be put down—torrine returns with the medicine and mom's emergency tranquilizer, just in case. I don't go down easy when they walk over to me. I stand up, scared. I hate needles, Gaia screams. “ calm down, Lena, it's okay, we will take care of you. “ I'm still standing and tense torrine jokes around. “ even as a wolf, she is scared of needles. “ placing the needle down and showing me four pills, torrine walks through exactly what she is planning to do. “ okay Lena, I'm going to take these four pills and put them in your mouth please Dont bite my hand off “ after taking the anxiety medication I begin to slow sit down feeling the medicine work through me my eyes are not burning my hands anymore are still large and hairy I say out Loud “ do I have a tail?” looking behind me torrine laughs “ no silly no tail back there thank god moms a doctor also your voice is back “ I didn't realize I had lost my voice. I'm starting to fall asleep, but before I doze off, I look at my sisters, who are terrified of me. “ you guys are scared of me. I'm sorry, so sorry that I hurt you. Please, Don't hate me. I'm not a wolf, I say as I pass out.