BITTERSWEET

SIREN MENDEZ

  

Past eleven in the midnight, I'm still not sleepy. There's no way I can get rid this Conrad guy out of my mind. I realize that I almost say something about me. I'm sure he'll be thinking about it and there's only two way he will look into it. 

Maybe he will get confused about me, or he will think that I'm just like any other gold-diggers out there. 

I better prefer the second thought. It won't be needing any explanation. Rather than being confused of what kind of a person I am. 

One of those many times, I feel jealous of those who live a normal life. They all have the energy to save rather than consuming it to keep their secrets from other people. 

But I know I don't have any right to complain. I was born in a wealthy family with a life most of my so-called friend are wishing for. Though it's not a perfect life, it's still not a chance that everyone can have. Some people spend their lives working hard to get what they wanted. Just like my Dad. But sometimes, I do wish he was just like any other Dad. A father who's always there for his daughter. A father who can give more time to his family.  A man who only wants to be a good Dad. 

I heaved a sigh. No way I could have a family like that. 

I can't count how many times had I been rolling on my bed but I can't still find any way to sleep. Still blaming Conrad for this. I should keep my distance with the guy. He's not a good person for me to stay with. I'm getting scared now with the idea of my identity being revealed. I should not let him push me into it. 

I decided to get up and head outside my room. I need milk. Maybe it can help me to sleep. 

I stepped down the stairs noiseless. Most of the lights were off, indicating that all of the people here are in their rooms. 

When I reached inside the kitchen, I quickly open the fridge and take the milk's container. I took a glass from the dispenser and pour some milk on it. 

After filling up the glass, I return the container inside the fridge. 

"Can't sleep?" 

"Holy shit!" I exclaimed. 

Thanks to the light from the corner of the kitchen I recognize the person who startled me. 

"When you get startled, you curse out of your habit." He crosses his arms above his chest and lean on the door frame. 

I rolled my eyes before I grab the glass of milk. Without a word, I drank it straight. After finishing the milk, I turn to the sink and wash the empty glass. I quickly wiped it before putting it back to the dispenser. 

Conrad's built still leaning on the door frame but I felt his gaze following my every moves. 

"Excuse me." I faced him with an intention of driving him away from the door. 

With his white shirt and long white pants, he seems to be so comfortable facing me. He didn't even make a move. 

"Are you now afraid of me?" He asked with a soft voice. 

I frowned. "I'm not." Yeah, hell no I'll be scared with this guy. I'm sure of that. But this crazy heart of mine beating so fast as if I'm in a race right now.

"So, why are you trying to avoid me?" He smirked.

"I'm not. Why would I?" I felt like I need to run away right now. I sense something is odd and I know this guy's into something. Can't figure it out yet but I'm feeling it. 

"Really?" He stand up straight and with a quick move, he draw closer. "You really are something." The light from the corner reaches his face so I had the chance to look at him. "I'm curious about how tough you are?"

It's too late for me to make a move, he already grabbing my waist and much more, his right hand already holding my chin up, leading me to look up to him.

"You--" Before I could say anything, his lips shut mine. 

I stand froze for a moment because of that. A strange feeling enveloped me. 

I pushed him hard when I finally recovered from that strange feeling. He breath so heavy as I was. Gosh, I almost lose my breath with that kiss.

I'm not an innocent one but being kissed like this was really my first time. For the first time of my life I lost my sense of knowing what kind of feeling I just felt being kissed by him. 

Confused, I looked at him. He seems shocked by my reaction. We both lost any words to say. But that just a moment to pass. 

Before I realized it, he's already kissing me again. Cupping my face both of his hands, he continue to kiss me without any hesitation.

The truth is, I can't breath properly with the way he kisses me. But it's hard for me to hold myself not to response any longer. 

I wrapped my one arm around his neck while the other was on his shoulder. Touching his lean muscle.

I felt his one arm traveled from my face down to my waist, and the other make its way to my back. 

Aside from the sound of our sneak breaths, the small noise coming from our lips rubbing with each other are the only sounds that fills the dark kitchen.

I will be a great liar if I would say that this ain't making me feel good right now. With all my heart's honesty, I can't  get enough of his kisses. 

But suddenly, he stopped. 

With our heavy breathing, we stare at each other's eyes. Tempting each other to fall first. 

I recovered first. I pushed him again and without a word, I quickly run leaving him in the kitchen. 

Panting, I reached my bedroom in no time. 

I secured the door's lock before jumping on the bed. I feel like I want to shout but there's no way I can do it at this hour. 

I buried my face on my pillow. What was that? What is it that just happen a while ago between me and Conrad? 

Seems like there is a thousand voltage inside my body that can make me explode any moment. 

Did he really just... kissed me? And did I really kissed him back?

What the hell did just happen? Am I going insane? Why I gave in to him that easily without even thinking?

I rolled myself up and lay down on the bed. The main reason why I go to the kitchen is to drink milk so I could get myself to sleep. But what he had done added some reason why I can't even close my eyes. 

Oh boy...

I check the alarm clock above the side table. It's past twelve. 

Why does time seem to speed up without me being aware of it? How long did I stayed in the kitchen?

I hit my pillow with frustration. This is all Conrad's fault! I don't even have any idea how to face him when we meet later. 

Thinking about the scenario makes me more agitated. 

'Great, Siren! You're really getting insane!' I want to slap myself hard now and it's because of that Conrad guy.

-----

I woke up early though I barely sleep last night. 

After grooming myself, I head straight to the kitchen to make myself some coffee. 

Two helpers are already there. I remember their names as Zarah and Sofia. Both are black woman. 

"Good morning." I greet them. No response. 

"Good morning." I almost fall off when I hear his voice. I hold myself not to look at him. 

"Good morning, Sir." The two women greet him in duet. 

I continue to act like his not there. But he seems to like teasing me. 

"Reena, please make a cup of coffee for me." Without waiting for my reply he heads out the kitchen. 

I heard the two women whispers behind back. It makes me annoyed but I won't let them be satisfied. 

I get another cup for that idiot. Make him coffee and head out. I found him sitting on the dining table. 

"Here." I place the set on his right side. 

"Thanks." I was about to turn when he teasingly pull my hand. 

I quickly shrugged it off. "What's with you?" I ask him with furrowed brows.

"Feisty." He smirked.

I looked at him sharply and leave. 

I don't know what that idiot is up to but he's better not to mess with me. I don't want him to know how much he's disturbing me right now. I, myself don't want it too and I know it can be controlled when I avoid him. The sooner the better.