Chapter 4

The next morning came faster than I would have liked. I was supposed to meet Atlas in the student lounge area of our dorms mid-morning, But I didn't want to. I can't trust that letting him into my life will be a good thing...It never really is. A good thing for me to let others in. I'm not too fond of this project already and there is nothing that I can do about it beside finish this foolish project. What kind of professor plans a project this early in the school year anyways? I guess that I should get out of bed so can move on with my morning. I can't wait to get this over with.   

After I was done with my morning routine I found some courage to meet with Atlas. I need to get this project over with so I don't have to worry about talking to Atlas any time soon. When I went to the main floor of the student lounge, Atlas was already sitting on a long chair. I took a deep breath as I walked slowly to where he was sitting. I don't know how but it was like he heard me coming with his head turning slowly towards me. I sat on the chair in front of him as I fidget with my hands on my lap. He gave me a warm smile that has my stomach in knots. It's a weird feeling that I am not sure what it means just yet.  

"Good morning Tamara, Sleep well?" As his eyes locked with mine his eyes got a darker shade of gray.

"Good morning as well, I slept fine thank you." 

"That's good to hear. Are you ready to tell me about yourself?"

"No, I am not...But it seems that I don't have a choice."

"Sweetheart you always have a choice." I don't know why but hearing him call me that made my heart skip a beat and stomach knot full of excitement. 

"Okay, so what do you want to know?"

"Anything and everything you are willing to share."

"Okay... I am from Colorado, I was adopted at the age of two, At 15 my adopted parents died in a car accident. I was in and out of foster homes until I turned 18. I have no siblings I was an only child. I loved my parents very much even though my dad worked a lot so it was hard to build a solid relationship with him. My mom and I were close even when we didn't see eye to eye on things. I got a full-ride scholarship for college and I needed a change so here I am. I never made any friends back home the other kids found any way to tease me or bully me. I worked a lot to provide for myself. I don't have a favorite color as I like most colors. My 20th birthday is in a few weeks. Anything else you want to know?"

"What are you majoring in?"

"Honestly I am not sure. I have a few things in mind but I am not sure what my heart is set on doing."

"I can understand that. How do you like Texas so far?"

"It's not too bad the heat kinda sucks but the people are nice."

"what are you doing for your birthday?"

"Umm... I don't know yet. I um...never celebrate it anymore."

"Well, that's going to change. We are doing something for your birthday. Just leave it to me to finger out."

"Okay, whatever you say!"

"I do say, have you ever had a boyfriend?"

"No are you asking?" why the fuck did I just say that?

"yes eventually after we get to know each other better."

I can feel my face heat up as I am sure that I look like a tomato right now. My body has felt different here so has my train of thought. I don't know what is going on I just hope it's not a cold. When I lift my head so my eyes meet his it is like he knows what I am thinking as a small smile is stretched crossed his face like I just told him a secret. 

"What is your favorite thing to do?"

"Read books that way I can pretend to be someone else for a bit."

"I like to do that two sometimes. But I am going to get you to see the world and adventure out of your shell some."

"You make it sound like we are BFFs already. What makes you think that I want to be your friend after this project?"

"That hurt a little sweetheart. I know that will are going to be friends and deep down you that too."

"I am sorry I didn't mean to hurt your feelings it's just that...I am not used to this kind of treatment. Another thing to know about me is I find it hard to trust others, especially men."

"Why is that?"

"I was always bullied in school and when someone showed kindness to me it was just an act to hurt me more. The men part is because they always tried to touch me without permission and they would hurt me when I fought back. My dad was the only man that I could trust and now he is no longer here to keep me safe. I have done well on my own but that's beside the point."

"I am sorry that you had to go through that. But trust me I am not like that. It'll help protect you from others that try to bring you harm. You will see that I am different from others I promise you that."

"Let's just say that I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt but it not going to be easy for me to just trust you right away." 

"I get that and I understand completely all that I ask is that you will try."

Weirdly, I am thinking about letting my walls down for this man. It is like I can feel that he is telling the truth in every word that comes from his mouth. it's like we have this built-in connection that makes me want to trust him. And honestly, it feels good to be around him. I'm not able to describe what this feeling is but it feels nice to feel something other than pain, anger, and loneliness. I just hope that he is not messing with my feeling I don't think that I could take any more abuse to my heart.