Chapter One

“How are you feeling?” Iselyn asks, taking a seat beside me on the worn fallen tree trunk.

“I’m fine,” I nod while digging my bare feet deeper into the sand and rocks. Letting the whistling wind, splashing water and the chilling breeze coming off of it, calm me down. “You?”

She looks up at the darkening sky and sighs. “It’s called a curse for a reason, Mal. We knew this day would come.”

“Still,” I shrug my shoulders, and let my gaze roam over the rolling waves. “Aren’t you worried?”

Tonight is the first time Iselyn and I will have to endure the full force of the full moon… Without the help of wolfsbane. Which means tonight, we will have no control over our wolf selves.

“About what?”

“Being a ripper,” I clarify softly, almost not wanting to say it out loud.

“Well, true, I should be worried about that. With my hot temper and all,” she laughs and fans herself with her hand. “We’ll be okay. We’re way out here and if we turn far enough out it should be fine.”

“Yeah,” I nod. Ugh, here my little sister is, reassuring me. “Where’s Gray and Bo?”

“Around,” she shrugs. “Getting everybody ready.”

“Should we head back?”

“In a minute,” she shakes her head. “It’s nice out here. Quiet.”

We sit in silence for a while, just watching as the white foam dissipates on the shore a few yards in front of our feet.

The waves crash into the cliffs to the left in the distance in front of us, reaching all the way around the cove that sits directly to our left. Like a barricade, daring any other to reach the sandy cove below. The open ocean sprawls out as far as the eye can see to our right. The water wafts the overwhelmingly salty and fishy scent right at us.

We sit and listen to the roar of the sea until the darkening sky turns the waves black.

I look up at the moon, trying to get an idea of how long we have left. I have to watch and wait for a minute as the clouds slowly drift out from in front of it. It won’t be long now.

“We should head in,” I tell her, startling myself at the volume of my voice after so long of not talking.

She makes a face like I was about to bite her head off, but then just laughs, and nods. She stands to her feet and dusts sand off of her, before following me away from the beach and into the trees.

Luckily, our camp’s not too far away, so it only takes us about fifteen minutes to get back. The fresh scent of wet dirt and bark, mixed with the smell of burning wood and smoke envelop me as we step through the trees into the campsite.

The space is lit up by lanterns as well as small campfires. A variety of a dozen or so tents litter the small clearing.

A small group is gathered around a fire, far off to our right, on the edge of the clearing, consisting of three Omegas Cody, David and Tony, and an Elder, Alazaer. The Omegas are each holding a glass beer bottle and seem to be taking turns trying to get Alazaer to laugh. However, each time, he just raises a thick gray eyebrow at them with a blank and unamused expression on his tan wrinkled face.

That is, until Corrine runs over, and just as Cody spins around to face the young woman, she shoves him right into the fire. Cody screams, as he falls, ass first, right onto the flames. His green eyes momentarily lit with fear. Corrine just flicks her long dark hair with a bronze hand and prances off with a grin on her face.

David, Tony and Alazaer burst into fits of laughter.

The Omegas, still laughing, help Cody out of the fire, who yanks off his brown jacket and olive colored beanie, aggressively throwing them into the dirt. When he’s standing again, Alazaer claps him on the shoulder.

“That’s the most I’ve laughed in twenty years, boy!” Alazaer tells him with a smile.

“Glad I could be of service, Sir,” Cody nods respectfully while wincing and runs a hand through his blonde hair.

I scan the rest of the clearing. The members of the pack are scattered around, finishing off their beers, food and packing everything up for the long night ahead.

Directly ahead of us, towards the back of the clearing, Gray, Bo and Cordelia are standing just outside of Gray's tent, respectfully the biggest in the camp.

Grayson and Bo are Iselyn and my fathers younger brothers. And even though Grayson is the youngest of the three, it was he who took over as Alpha when my father died. Usually it doesn't work that way. Usually that title and responsibility would go to the eldest. But the situation in this case was… complicated. Because it was Grayson who killed him.

It wasn't anger, hate or power that made Gray murder my father. But my father himself. A mercy killing. My father was dying and didn't want to die like that. He wanted to go out on his terms. As a warrior. So, he had Uncle Gray challenge him. One on one, for the title. My father got what he wanted. A noble death. A warrior's death. One fit for the Alpha and leader he'd been his whole life. So, Grayson inherited the title. And us.

Bo would've been the obvious choice, seeing as he was next in line. But at the time nobody knew where he was. He had taken a few years, lone-wolfing it, running around the country in wolf form. He only caught wind of what happened a few months later, from a witch in a bar, while he was passing through Nebraska. He came straight home after that. Where he and Gray raised Iselyn and I as their own.

You can tell Bo and Gray are brothers, with their similar features and the same blue blue. At the same time a lot sets them apart, like any siblings. Gray has a thick full head of dark hair, well at least a few months ago he did, now it's riddled with gray streaks that matches his thick facial hair. He’s also taller than Bo and always smells earthy, like the forest, even at home. While Bo has a shining white head free of even a single strand of hair and a short thin (mostly gray) facial hair and smells like golden spice.

Gray is standing on the left side of a semicircle made up of him, Cordelia and Bo, with cordelia being in the middle, a few yards just ahead of us. Gray’s holding a long thick metal link chain in his hands, conversing with the two. Iselyn and I stop a few feet away, just close enough to alert them to our presence and hear the conversation.

“I can’t thank you enough for this right now, Delia,” Grayson says, his voice deep and saddened. His bright blue eyes duller than they used to be, and his dark hair much more gray than it was just a few weeks ago. Everything has been taking such a toll on him. I inwardly sigh, wishing I could do more to help him.

“Aw, you’ll find a way to make it up to me,” she purrs with a wink. “Alpha.”

There’s always been rumors about the two of them being lovers, but nobody really knows for sure. They seem to play it up in front of people. But behind closed doors, who knows, though neither I nor Iselyn have seen them so much as hug.

“Don’t I always?” he replies playfully, making a show of flexing his biceps, the chains rattling in his hands as he does.

“Oh, love,” she says, something like playful pity in her voice. “You think you’re the only one?”

“You wound me, Delia,” Gray chuckles.

She slaps his arm playfully, letting him know it's time to get serious. He straightens up, as all signs of amusement snap from his face in a split second and holds still while she goes to work on the chain in his hands. She places both of her hands a few inches above the metal and whispers some incantation until a low blue glow can be seen from underneath her palms. When the glow fades she moves her warm copper brown hands and sighs.

“That should work, depending on how strong they are,” She says. “I wish I could do more.”

“You’ve done more than enough,” Gray tells her. “I don’t know what we’d do without you and your coven’s help.”

“Crash and burn,” she smiles.

She’s probably right. Every full moon, Cordelia and sometimes her sister Claudia come out to help us and take care of the children that haven’t turned yet. I don’t know what other packs that don’t have humans or witches to help them do. Our alliance with Delia’s coven is the only reason we’ve survived this long and we all know it.

“We should hurry this along,” Bo says, looking up at the sky.

Iselyn and I help Delia gather the children, while Gray, Bo and the elders get to work setting everything and everyone into place before the moon reaches its peak. When Delia and the children are gone and the rest of the pack is chained to the trees, Gray and Bo take Iselyn and I a little farther out than the rest.

“You’ll be okay,” Gray tells me, as he locks the thick metal clamp around my neck.

I only nod in response. Much harder than I hope too.

“I can smell your fear,” he says. “It’s understandable, but don’t let it control you. This is just like every other full moon, only more painful.”

“I know,” I nod. He and Bo have told me that a million times. But still, I can’t help the terror that is flooding through me. More pain, more strength but less control and stronger urges to kill everything and everyone in my path besides other wolves. Oh yeah, this is gonna be a breeze.

I gulp and settle down against the tree, jerking against the chain to make sure it’s in place. Gray crouches down beside me and puts a hand on my shoulder.

“You are a wolf. That’s what you are. And whatever you do tonight is just your animal instincts taking over for a moment,” he whispers sternly, with a nod. “Aye?”

I nod.

He’s wrong though.

Sure, any moment of any day we can shift at will. But during the full moon…It’s different. Pain, loss of control, blackouts. And that’s with wolfsbane in our system. But without it. More pain, little control if any at all, and guaranteed blackouts. He’s right. I am a wolf. Any other day of the month, that is. But tonight, on a full moon with no wolfsbane to tame me, I’m nothing more than a beast. A monster.

He pats my shoulder before getting up and moving over to where Iselyn is, most likely to tell her the same thing.

I lean against the tree, trying to focus on nothing else but my breathing. The final minutes tick by at an agonizingly slow rate, slowing more and more with every passing second. The past three minutes have dragged on, making it feel like hours, just waiting for the pain to consume my body and mind, waiting for my wolf to devour me with rising animal instincts and hunger for human flesh. I bang the back of my head against the tree truck, dreading the moment I finally tear into a human being.

I peer out of the corner of my eye to the tree, fifteen or twenty yards across from me to my right, where Iselyn is chained. Her head is bowed down so I can’t get a full view of her face, but I can see her fidgeting and rubbing her bare feet together, as if she’s playing footsies with herself.

As if sensing my eyes on her, she lifts her head. I can see the anxiety coming off of her in low waves. Lowly humming, looking around and chewing on the inside of her cheek.

“You know you’re gonna end up chewing a hole through your face if you keep doing that,” I sigh, trying to get my mind off the obviously impending nightmare awaiting us both.

“What do you suggest I do?” she asks. She stretches her neck and shoulders uncomfortably. “This is taking hella long. I just want this night to end.”

“I know.”

Then it begins.

An electrifying pain shoots through my brain as a blinding ringing fills my ears. The electricity coats my head before bleeding downward, radiating over my entire body. White hot pain rips and tears through me as every bone in my body cracks, breaks and extends before jutting itself into place.

Screams and howls of pain fill the air, dulled only by the trees and my own pain consuming me.

Canines lengthening and claws stretching out, and yet, still I can feel my body is covered in something warm and wet. I sniff the air. Blood. So much blood. Sweet, warm, red liquid copper.

Soon the pain dulls to warm rather than hot, and screams become howls and growls in the distance. I join in, yanking and pulling at the chain until my neck hurts so much I think my head might fall right off my shoulders. And then, everything goes black.

****

The sun on my face stirs me awake.

I sit up and stretch, rapidly blinking, trying to hurry my eyes to adjust to the light of a new day. I already know I got out of the chains last night. I can’t feel the metal clamp around my neck.

I squeeze my eyes closed before I have a chance to look at my surroundings, not wanting to be caught off guard by what I may have done under the influence of the full moon. I lift my face towards the golden morning breeze and sniff the air cautiously. No scent of blood on or anywhere near me. Well, that’s a good sign.

I open my eyes and take in the forest around me. At least I’m still in the forest. I look around and sniff at the air to try and get a sense of where I am. Listening for anything out of place in the woods around me. I’m alone and there’s no trace of anyone else, human or wolf within a mile of me. I push myself off the forest floor, pausing for a moment as I do to dig my fingers into the damp earth beneath me.

I use my heightened senses to find my way back to camp. I stop short as I get close, hearing voices in the distance.

“I called in a few favors,” I hear Gray’s deep, rumbling voice say in a low hushed tone.

“And?” Cordelia presses.

“It’s near extinction, not just for us, but for every pack,” He tells her. “Nobody thinks there will be enough to last another two months.”

“We’ll figure something out, Gray,” She tells him.

“I have exhausted every option, Cordelia!” he growls. “There’s nothing left to figure out.”

“There is always another option,” she says softly. “We just have to find it.”

“You don’t understand,” he sighs. “We don’t have the time to figure anything out. The hunters are already closing in. Every month I move the pack further and further away from civilization, but humans always end up dead.”

“You haven't told them,” she sighs in realization.

“How am I supposed to tell them that?” he asks. “I’m the one that’s supposed to keep them safe. But now… It doesn’t look like we have a choice. If we don’t leave- they will find us, sooner rather than later.”

“We knew this was going to happen as the wolfsbane started to deplete. Grayson, you are the Alpha, and you know best how to protect your people.”

“What about you?”

“What about me?” she asks. I can hear the smile in her voice. “You know I can’t leave. My family has been here for generations. There’s nowhere else for me to go.”

“But there is for us?”

“You’ll land on your feet,” she says softly. “You always do. Besides, no matter where you end up, at least you’ll be safe. And you can always come back in a few years, once the hunters are off your scent.”

“Maybe.”

“Or, you could always go on the offensive,” she suggests.

“No,” he says. “We don’t have the number for that. I can’t risk the lives we do have on a maybe.”

“Don’t worry too much. We’ll keep in touch, Gray. You know you’ll always have us as allies, no matter where you are,” Delia tells him, her voice softer now.

I start walking again, making sure to walk in the direction of their voices. Their scents. Earth and sweet and spice and sage.

As I get closer I hear a snap from underneath my foot, and look up to see Gray’s usual blue eyes flashing yellow. He blinks and shoots me a fake grin.

“Malia,” he calls adoringly. “Rough night?”

I don’t fail to notice Delia taking a step back away from him, dropping her hand from where I suspect it was on his arm and looking down at the ground.

“No more than usual,” I answer. “Yours?”

“Fantastic,” he lies with a smile. “Have you made it back to camp yet?”

“No. You?”

“Not just yet,” he replies. Then he laughs. “Wonder what kind of trouble we’re in for, huh?”

I breathe a fake laugh and nod my head as Delia makes her way over to me. She hands me an outfit out of her bag before walking back to where Gray is standing just out of view. Staying behind the tree, I quickly tug on the jeans and dark t-shirt, clumsily falling against the trunk three times as I do. When I’m done, I come out from behind the tree and make my way over to them.

I idly wonder what would’ve happened between them or what more they would’ve said, had I snapped that twig just a few moments later, while trailing behind them as they start in the direction of our campsite. Neither says a word the whole way there. As we get closer, the sweet, sticky, metallic scent of liquid copper fills my nose. The smell getting stronger and more potent the closer we get to the site.

Bo is the first to greet us when we get back.

“Are the pups alright?” Gray asks him, as we all take in the wreckage that was our camp.

Strips of cloth and bent and broken metal, that just a few hours ago were tents, lay in tatters, skewered all over the ground. Tons of blood stains the dark brown forest floor. Torn pieces of bloodied flesh scattered across our campsite.

I can’t help the sigh that escapes my lips. Luckily, nobody is paying any attention to me.

“They’ll be okay,” Bo answers, his blue eyes dark with the reality of our current situation. “I’m just glad we haven’t been giving the new ones any wolfsbane. Who knows? Maybe they’ll learn to control it on their own.”

Gray nods and offers Bo a wide grin. “Maybe. They’ll be a hell of a lot better than us if they do.”

We all know the truth though. Lycanthropy is a curse. There is no way to control it. Not on the full moon.

“Come,” Bo says, knocking me out of the dooming thought of our near future.

He puts a hand on my back, lightly guiding me to start walking.

“Alazaer is down by twin hills, waiting for the others to come back,” he tells us.

“Others?” Grayson asks. “Who’s watching the pups?”

“Things got a little out of hand last night,” Bo says, rubbing the back of his neck anxiously. “We’re only losing time here, Gray. With nothing else, it’s only going to get worse.”

“We can help more,” Delia chimes in.

Gray shakes his head. “Even with all the help your coven can give us, it won’t be enough.”

I can feel the tension and despair coming off of them, engulfing and strangling my senses.

Gray puts a hand on the top of my head, undoubtedly sensing what I’m currently feeling. He rubs my head reassuringly. It usually makes me feel better, and this time it kind of does too, but doesn’t ease all of the worry out of my head. I exhale a long breath, hoping that in doing so it makes him feel a little better. The fact that he has the ability to make me feel better. Even just a little.

“Alazaer will explain more,” Bo says. “He’s waiting for us.”

We continue to follow Bo through the trees in silence. Before long the trees begin to thin out and spread further and further apart before opening up to a lush green field on top of one of the cliffs overlooking the ocean.

Not too far up ahead I can see Alazaer and Iselyn looking down at us from the twin hills, laid just a little more inland than we are. We continue up the hill, but all stop and look down, eyes widening in horror at what lays on the other side.

The grass at the bottom of the hill is not the lush green it normally is this time of year, the same as the green we saw coming up. No. Instead it is stained red and brown. Flesh and torn human limbs and remains litter the ground in an almost perfect circle.

Pack members at the bottom of the hill, toss more and more clothes and limbs onto the pile. Gathering the human remains to be burned.

Iselyn hooks a finger through one of the jeans belt loops and pulls me to her. Then proceeds to tug me a little ways away from the group.

“I saw you got out,” she whispers. “Are you alright?”

“Yeah,” I nod. “Did you get out?”

“No,” She shakes her head, but I can see a small smile tugging at her lips.

“Lucky you,” I whisper back. “It was a long walk back to camp.”

She breaths a laugh and jerks her head, motioning for me to follow her as she siddles back up to the group.

Gray is the first to break the silence between them.

“How did this happen?” He asks.

“As you know,” he says. “Last night was the second turn for most of the pups. Bo and I had hoped that because we hadn’t given them any wolfsbane that they would be alright. More in control. This is the first time in history that we have ever had to face anything like this, but… We could never have expected this.”

Gray takes a deep breath, before looking back up at Alazaer.

“I thought it was your job to make sure that there were no humans camping this far out here last night. I thought it was your job to look after the pups until they have been turning for a full year,” Gray growls through clenched teeth.

“I did,” the old man answers, his voice sounding even more defeated than he looks. “We all tried to look after the pups, but it was a rough night… For all of us.”

Gray sighs.

“It’s almost impossible to keep track of them. To keep control of them, when we don’t have control ourselves. Besides that, most of us were still bound by the chains, while most of the young ones got out of theirs,” Alazaer explains.

“You did the best you could with what you were given, Alazaer. You are not at fault for this,” Bo tells him, before glancing at Gray.

“No, of course not,” Gray says with a sigh. “There was nothing you could have done to prevent this from happening.”

“I have caught wind of a rumor,” Alazaer says slowly, cautiously. “Supposedly there is still some wolfsbane out East.”

“Where?” Bo asks.

Alazaer drops his gaze down to the ground.

“Alazaer,” Gray says. “Where?”

“Maine,” Alazaer answers reluctantly.

Gray barks out laughing.

Alazaer just looks up at him, unamused. This stops Gray and the blood seems to drain from his face. Bo watches him closely, like he’s not sure how Gray will respond.

“Are you thinking about joining him?” Gray growls.

“Of course not,” Alazaer replies calmly, shaking his head once.

“Then why even mention that?” Gray asks.

“Because,” Alazaer says matter of factly. “I don’t see any other solution to this, Grayson.”

“So, you’re not saying you want to join his ranks,” Gray laughs, before the unmistakable force of rage takes over his expression, changing his features in a way I have never in my life seen before. His eyes glowing golden. “You’re just saying that you would like to see me bow down to that fucking lunatic!”

“I am simply offering my guidance, as is my job,” the elder states calmly, unaffected by his Alpha’s outburst. “I am simply stating a fact that may be worth looking into, at this time. Given our current situation.”

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Iselyn nervously tuck a long loose strand of dark hair behind her ear.

“That,” Gray growls. “Is not going to happen.”

“Gray, maybe-” Bo starts to speak.

“Are you questioning my orders!?” Gray roars, cutting him off and causing Iselyn to noticeably flinch. If he saw it, he ignores it, instead keeping his golden eyes locked on Bo.

Bo bows his head in submission, and stays silent.

Gray huffs, seemingly fuming and stalks away, putting his fist through a nearby trunk once he gets close to the treeline. Once he’s gone, Bo turns to us.

“Girls, why don’t you go help the others?” he says.

We nod and join the rest of the pack at the bottom of the hill. Iselyn and I spend the rest of the morning helping gather all evidence of us being there, adding all traces on to that pile.

Luckily for us, as a reward, Gray lets Iselyn and I take a quick dip and play in the waves before ultimately setting the bodies ablaze and hurrying home.

That night, we see the wild fire on the news. It burned down over fifty acres of woodland before the firefighters were able to put it out. The beach where we were just hours before, now covered in ash and smoke.

Later that night, after Iselyn and I were supposed to be asleep, we sneak downstairs for hot chocolate, hoping that will help ease us enough to let us sleep. As we’re sitting at the bar counter, she sighs.

“Things aren’t going to get any better, are they?” she asks.

“They will,” I nod my head. “You know the saying though. Things have to get a lot worse before they do.”

“I don’t even want to know what that looks like,” she whispers, shaking her head, trying to get the thought out.

“No, you don’t.” The words leave my lips before I can stop them. I mentally kick myself.

“What does that mean?” she asks.

I look down at my cup and take a drink, refusing to meet her eyes. Her eyes widen.

“What do you know, Malia?” she demands in a low whisper.

“I overheard Grayson and Cordelia talking in the woods this morning,” I tell her. “He’s worried about the wolfsbane and…”

“And?” she presses.

“And hunters,” I answer, looking around before continuing. “He told her that we can’t stay here. I think we’re gonna leave before the next full moon.”

“What the hell?” she growls at me. “And you waited until now to tell me?”

I shrug my shoulders. “Sorry.”

“Where are we going to go?” she asks.

I shrug my shoulders again. “He didn’t say.”

A noise from down the hall catches our attention, silencing us. We duck down behind the counter and listen for movement beyond the kitchen. In another room, we hear a light flick on.

“Alazaer may be right, Gray,” Bo says.

Gray huffs in response. “You think I haven’t thought about that? Do you honestly think that I have gone this long- waited until it was this bad to consider that?”

“You never mentioned it to me,” Bo says.

“Why would I?” Gray asks. “It’s not as if it’s a real option anyway.”

“Why?” Bo barks. “Because you won’t bow down? Because of your stupid pride?”

“No!” Gray roars. “Because of my family! Because, right now, we are not on Thantos’s radar. But if I do what you are asking me to do, we will be. And so will all of our friends, all of our allies, every other pack that evaded him will be at risk.”

“So think about your family, Grayson!” Bo yells at him. “Think about those girls upstairs. They are at risk right now. They are counting on you to protect them. How much longer do you think they will last? We are out of wolfsbane and up against a wall with hunters on our tails! And we both know we don’t have the number to try to fight our way out of that one. So, don’t you dare sit there and tell me that you are doing nothing… For your family. Because we both know that’s a lie.”

“Just get out, Balthazar,” Grayson says, after a long minute. “Leave me alone.”

“Look,” Bo says. “I still have contacts out in Nebraska.”

“And?”

“And, I can head out there. Let them know the situation and see if they would be willing to house the pack. If they say yes, you and the rest of the pack can head there while I scout ahead to Maine and see what can be done.”

There is a long pause. Nothing but silence through the house. Iselyn and I share an anxious, adrenaline filled glance.

“No,” Gray finally says. “I need you here. I need your help to rally the pack.”

Another long pause. Before the scraping sound of wood on wood fills the silence. A chair moving.

“Send word to your contacts,” Gray says. “But you can’t go to Maine, Thantos will see it as a sign of weakness, me sending my Beta.”

We can hear rapid and heavy footfalls coming from the office. Gray’s pacing.

“And I can’t go,” he muses. “He’ll see it as a threat.”

Another pause, still pacing. Then the pacing stops

“There’s only one thing we can do,” Gray concludes.

“What’s that?” Bo asks.

“We have to send the girls.”