CHAPTER 1
July 2022
“Why aren’t you picking up your phone?” the man beside her na kagigising lang, asked nang makita nitong patay-sindi ang screen nito dahil sa tawag.
“Hayaan mo lang, huwag mo pansinin. That’s work and it’s my day off. Hindi ko kailangang sagutin.” iritadang sabi ni Primrose at tumayo mula sa kama.
Of course, it’s not work. It’s some other guy na naka-fling niya few weeks ago, bugging her and asking her for a date kahit na nilinaw niya naman na hindi siya nakikipag-date.
Last night was wild for her, since it was her friend’s birthday na ginawa sa isang exclusive bar. Kaya siguro nagising nalang siya katabi ang isang anak ng mayor ng city nila na nakayakap sa kaniya.
“Are you leaving already?” tanong ng lalaki nang makita niyang isa-isang isinusuot ni Prim ang mga damit niya na nakita niyang nakatupi sa couch.
“Did you fold my clothes?” the guy nodded. Primrose smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.
“You know, that’s thoughtful and sweet.” saad nito habang sinusuot ang blazer niya.
“Nothing happened between us. We just literally slept together.”
“I know…” Prim answered. She knows, because kung meron man nangyari sa kanila, she’s probably fully naked, but she’s not. She’s fully clothed in parin with undies.
Nang matapos suotin ni Prim ang mga damit niya at sapatos, she gathered her things and checked her phone. Pinapanood lang siya ng lalaki habang ginagawa niya ‘yon.
“How did we end up here?” Prim is talking about the guy’s condo.
“You were really drunk— wasted nga yata. Other guys were looking at you as if you’re a meat and they look starving. I just—”
“Thanks.”
“Repay me with a meal.”
“I’ll send you food dito sa condo. Let me know kung anong gusto mo—”
“No, no, no. What I meant was by having a meal with me.” sabi nito kaya naman kumunot ang noo ni Prim.
She never once had someone na nakilala niya sa bar na makasama niya na mag-lunch because she thinks that that act only is appropriate when you’re either friends with someone or when you date them.
“I don’t date. I never date guys.”
“Let’s not date then. Just lunch.”
“You’re not a friend either.”
“How can I be one?”
Nag-isip saglit si Prim. No one ever folded her clothes before, kaya nang makita niyang maayos na nakatupi ‘yon sa couch, it touched her kaya naman imbes na tumanggi, she decided to give this guy a chance to be her friend.
“Well, I can feel naman na you’re a good person kaya sige. Isang lunch lang and hindi ngayon, kasi I need to go somewhere.” she checked the time and it’s almost 1 PM.
Mabilis na pumunta ng kitchen ang lalaki at binuksan ang ref niya at inabot kay Prim ang overnight oats.
“Here. Eat this on your way somewhere. I called for your car din, kaya nasa parking lot siya ng condo. I’ll just take you there.”
“Wala ba ‘tong lason?” she jokingly said.
“Mukha ba akong nanlalason?” umiling si Prim at natatawang kinuha niya ang overnight oats sa kamay ng lalaki.
“I’m Ian Letran, if you don’t know that yet.”
“Ian, huh…” ulit ni Prim habang naglalakad silang dalawa papuntang parking area ni Ian.
Nang makasakay siya ng sasakyan niya, kaagad siyang nagmaneho sa condo niya na hindi naman ganoon kalayuan. She stared to the overnight oat na pinagpapawisan ang glass container, dahil sa pawala na ang lamig nito.
Natagpuan niya ang sarili niyang nakangiti dahil dito kaya kaagad siyang nagseryoso ng mukha. She even slapped her cheek to wake herself up sa pag-ngiti ngiti niya. It’s so not her to smile at something like that.
She quickly took a bath and faced time her manager habang nakadapa sa kama niya. Kailangan nitong i-discuss ang need nilang gawin sa susunod niyang role na gaganapan niya.
“I know you can do this role effortlessly, Prim. You gotta trust yourself more…” sabi ng manager nito nang mag-dalawang isip si Prm sa pagkuha sa role na ibinibigay sa kaniya dahil ibang iba ito sa nakaraang role niya.
Ang palaging role niya kasi ay isang anak-mayaman na mataray at laging supporting actress. Hindi kasi bagay sa facial features niya ang pagiging mabait. She basically has a resting bitch face.
“Ate Ji, I’ll try, but I just don’t think I’ll suit this role. I think someone out there is more deserving than me—”
“Naku ka, Prim. I told you. Pilit ko nang sinabi sa mga producers and even directors na ayaw mo na tanggapin, kasi full sched ka pa, pero they really kept bugging me.”
“It’s my first time, Ate Ji. I’m not that confident yet.”
“Do it scared. Sinasabi ko sa’yo, you can do this one.”
Wala nang nagawa si Prim kung hindi um-agree nalang sa manager niya. Tomorrow na ang contract signing at next month na sila magsh-shoot.
Humiga siya sa kama niya at tinignan ang mga unread messages niya. She received a lot of messages from Miguel, her admirer since college, telling her na he’s back again sa Pilipinas after migrating to the US after their graduation.
She replied to Miguel’s message since they’ve been friends since 1st year ng college rin naman, so marami talaga silang memories.
Siguro nga, if hindi nag-migrate ‘tong si Miguel, baka binigyan na ni Prim ng chance ang lalaki at baka nagkaroon sila ng romantic relationship.
To Miguel Eros: Hello, Migs. It’s been years, no? I’m here, sa condo ko. We can spend time together sometime, sure. Hindi ko lang sigurado when ako free hihi!
Ilang segundo lang, mabilis na nag-read ng message si Miguel.
From Miguel Eros: Glad you did not change your phone number. See you soon!
Hindi na nag-reply si Prim at dumiretso na ng tulog. Her life cycles lang naman sa work, tulog, party, tapos magigising nalang siya na may gwapo, mayaman at mabangong lalaki na siyang katabi.
Nang akmang pipikit na siya, bigla namang nag-pop up sa screen niya ang follow request ng walang iba kung hindi si Ian Letran.
What now?
CHAPTER 2Primrose accepted Ian’s follow request.Personal account niya ‘yon kaya naman iilan lang ang mga naka-follow sa kaniya.Mostly, mga closest friends lang. Hindi nga kasama sa personal account niya ‘yung manager niya, kasi minsan, may mga lalaki siyang kasama na nilalagay niya sa ig story niya at iniiwasan niyang mapagalitan sa management.Akala niya ay magc-chat si Ian, pero para siyang tangang naghihintay dahil walang message ang dumating.“Ginagago ba ako ng lalaking ‘to?” tanong niya sa sarili niya habang naka-kunot noong nakatingin sa mga ig posts ng lalaki.Bakas sa mga post niya kung gaano kayaman ang pamilya niya. Prim is kind of judgmental sa ganitong bagay lalo na kung alam niyang magastos ang tao, na hindi naman nila sariling pera ang mga winawaldas nila.It irritates her.Isa na rin siguro ‘yon sa mga rason kung bakit hinding hindi niya kayang masikmurang makipag-date. Kasi lahat nalang ng mga lalaking nagkakagusto sa kaniya, mga mayayabang na wala namang ipagmamay
CHAPTER 3Nakasimangot si Prim habang nakatingin sa bintana ng kotse.“Just accept these gifts, Primrose.”“No.”“Yes.”“It’s an apology gift.”“You’re fixing it naman na kaya no need na.” natahimik si Ian.“Wala ka na bang ibang kailangan? Need pirmahan? If wala na, then aalis na ‘ko. Thanks.” Akmang lalabas na si Prim sa sasakyan nang inunahan ito ni Ian para tumakbo sa kabilang side ng sasakyan at pagbuksan si Prim ng pinto.Primrose is trying to be nonchalant as much as she can, dahil ayaw niyang aminin sa sarili niya na sa edad niyang ganito, ngayon lang siya kinilig sa isang lalaki.“Are you going somewhere? Pwede kita sundan, just for me to know na safe ka makararating sa---”“Wait. Why would you do that?” hindi makasagot si Ian.“Nothing. I just---”“No. I can manage. Bye.” She coldly said at sumakay na sa sasakyan niya atsaka impit na tumili at pinagtatampa ang manubela.Walang ideya si Ian kung gaano ka-grabeng pagpapanggap na hindi apektado si Prim sa presensya nito. Natigi
CHAPTER 4Paggising ni Prim, alas-tres na ng hapon. Mabilis na siyang nag-ready. Nagsuot siya ng white maxi dress at beige na backless designer loafers, dahil garden ang theme ng party ng Mom niya. Kinuha na rin niya ang ratan sling bag niya atsaka inilagay don ang iilang pang-retouch niya sa light makeup niya.As she looked at herself in the mirror, a smile crept onto her face. White clothes suited her perfectly, making her skin glow even more. It felt like a new radiance on her face. She drove herself to her parents' house anddecided to give Abi the day off, knowing they had a taping later. She sent Abi a quick text about her whereabouts, just in case of an emergency. Bago pa siya umalis ay tumawag pa itong si Abi at inaasar siya kay Ian Arriving at her parents' home, she felt an unusual happiness within.Pagka-park niya sa garahe ng bahay ng parents niya, malayo pa siya ay rinig niya na ang mga bisita ng Mom niya. Mga ka-mahjong nito at kasamang mag-golf ng Dad niya.“Primrose!”
Chapter 5 Napatingin si Primrose sa restaurant kung nasaan sila.The ambiance is bathed in warmth, soft lighting casting a gentle glow on the rich mahogany furnishings and plush velvet upholstery. The walls are adorned with sepia-toned photographs of jazz legends, their music immortalized in this sanctuary of sophistication. "Do you like it?" Primrose nodded. "My Dad designed this." Miguel proudly told Prim. Primrose approached every decision with meticulous consideration, especially when it came to moments like meeting Miguel. Despite their deep friendship, she grappled with the knowledge that Miguel harbored strong feelings for her, complicating matters as she was already committed to Ian. Feeling isolated in her situation, she found herself without anyone to confide in, particularly given the weighty expectations her friends held for her relationship with Ian. Seated together at a restaurant in Taguig, Prim and Miguel shared a meal, yet Miguel's gaze remained fixed solely on
Chapter 6"Food, candles... ano pa ba ang kulang..." pabulong na sabi ni Ian habang mag-isang nagp-plano sa kusina at iniisa-isa ang mga kailangan niyang gawin.Ian planned an intimate condo dinner para i-celebrate ang kanilang 8th month of togetherness, kahit na sa loob ng walong buwan na 'yon, bilang lamang ang kanilang pagkikita.Wala pa si Prim. Na-late siya ng uwi, dahil nag-overtime sila sa shoot nila para sa isang commercial niya. Ni-hindi niya alam na nasa condo niya na si Ian."Can you make the bouquet more special? It's a surprise gift for my girlfriend kasi..." Ian said as he talked with someone on the phone. From the cooking of the food, to the table setup, siya lahat. He does not want to hire anyone, because he really wants this to be special.It has been a month since nakapag-spend silang dalawa ni Prim ng oras para sa isa't isa. Ilang beses nang tinanong ni Primrose ang nobyo niya kung kailan sila makakapag-kita at magkakaroon ng bonding, pero laging 'soon' ang sagot n
Chapter 7Hindi makasagot si Ian. He is trying to find the right words to say. He cannot just tell Prim lahat lahat ng tungkol sa buhay niya. Para siyang naglalakad sa isang hibla ng alambre na nakasabit sa magkabilang bangin.Yes, mahal na mahal niya ito, pero hindi lang 'yon ganoon kadali."Tell me... Are you hiding something from me?" Primrose asked. Hindi biro ang tapang na inipon ni Primrose para itanong kay Ian ang tanong na 'yon. She has been sleep deprived, hindi makakain sa tamang oras, just because naiisip niya There's an interplay between the desire for clarity and the fear of what that clarity might reveal. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff, torn between the thrill of leaping into the unknown and the fear of what lies below."Babe..." hindi magawang masimulan ni Ian ang sasabihin niya."You're not, right? I mean, you're with me right now..." Prim said while trying to focus on cutting the meat on her plate."No, no, babe... there's nothing for you to worry about..
February 2023Nanghihinang napatingin si Primrose sa cellphone ng nobyo niya.It was not intentional for her to see that. It was not her intention to see that message. She was not looking for anything, it just popped up. That one message just popped up and it shattered her world.“God, please… wake me up if this is a dream…” she closed her eyes and opened them again, pero nandoon pa rin ang message.She unlocked Ian’s phone and deleted the message and blocked the number. She dwelled on whether what and what not to do and so, she decided to make him think that she does not know anything at all.“Hi there, babe…” bati ng boyfriend nito sa kaniya nang makapasok siya ng condo niya. He just went outside to get some food dahil late na silang nagising at hindi na sila makakapagluto.“Hi.”Just how long can you possibly love a person even after they hurt you?May matitira pa kayang pagmamahal, kahit na nasaktan na o tanging poot nalang ang mararamdaman?Sa buong buhay niya, hindi niya inakala
Chapter 7Hindi makasagot si Ian. He is trying to find the right words to say. He cannot just tell Prim lahat lahat ng tungkol sa buhay niya. Para siyang naglalakad sa isang hibla ng alambre na nakasabit sa magkabilang bangin.Yes, mahal na mahal niya ito, pero hindi lang 'yon ganoon kadali."Tell me... Are you hiding something from me?" Primrose asked. Hindi biro ang tapang na inipon ni Primrose para itanong kay Ian ang tanong na 'yon. She has been sleep deprived, hindi makakain sa tamang oras, just because naiisip niya There's an interplay between the desire for clarity and the fear of what that clarity might reveal. It's like standing on the edge of a cliff, torn between the thrill of leaping into the unknown and the fear of what lies below."Babe..." hindi magawang masimulan ni Ian ang sasabihin niya."You're not, right? I mean, you're with me right now..." Prim said while trying to focus on cutting the meat on her plate."No, no, babe... there's nothing for you to worry about..
Chapter 6"Food, candles... ano pa ba ang kulang..." pabulong na sabi ni Ian habang mag-isang nagp-plano sa kusina at iniisa-isa ang mga kailangan niyang gawin.Ian planned an intimate condo dinner para i-celebrate ang kanilang 8th month of togetherness, kahit na sa loob ng walong buwan na 'yon, bilang lamang ang kanilang pagkikita.Wala pa si Prim. Na-late siya ng uwi, dahil nag-overtime sila sa shoot nila para sa isang commercial niya. Ni-hindi niya alam na nasa condo niya na si Ian."Can you make the bouquet more special? It's a surprise gift for my girlfriend kasi..." Ian said as he talked with someone on the phone. From the cooking of the food, to the table setup, siya lahat. He does not want to hire anyone, because he really wants this to be special.It has been a month since nakapag-spend silang dalawa ni Prim ng oras para sa isa't isa. Ilang beses nang tinanong ni Primrose ang nobyo niya kung kailan sila makakapag-kita at magkakaroon ng bonding, pero laging 'soon' ang sagot n
Chapter 5 Napatingin si Primrose sa restaurant kung nasaan sila.The ambiance is bathed in warmth, soft lighting casting a gentle glow on the rich mahogany furnishings and plush velvet upholstery. The walls are adorned with sepia-toned photographs of jazz legends, their music immortalized in this sanctuary of sophistication. "Do you like it?" Primrose nodded. "My Dad designed this." Miguel proudly told Prim. Primrose approached every decision with meticulous consideration, especially when it came to moments like meeting Miguel. Despite their deep friendship, she grappled with the knowledge that Miguel harbored strong feelings for her, complicating matters as she was already committed to Ian. Feeling isolated in her situation, she found herself without anyone to confide in, particularly given the weighty expectations her friends held for her relationship with Ian. Seated together at a restaurant in Taguig, Prim and Miguel shared a meal, yet Miguel's gaze remained fixed solely on
CHAPTER 4Paggising ni Prim, alas-tres na ng hapon. Mabilis na siyang nag-ready. Nagsuot siya ng white maxi dress at beige na backless designer loafers, dahil garden ang theme ng party ng Mom niya. Kinuha na rin niya ang ratan sling bag niya atsaka inilagay don ang iilang pang-retouch niya sa light makeup niya.As she looked at herself in the mirror, a smile crept onto her face. White clothes suited her perfectly, making her skin glow even more. It felt like a new radiance on her face. She drove herself to her parents' house anddecided to give Abi the day off, knowing they had a taping later. She sent Abi a quick text about her whereabouts, just in case of an emergency. Bago pa siya umalis ay tumawag pa itong si Abi at inaasar siya kay Ian Arriving at her parents' home, she felt an unusual happiness within.Pagka-park niya sa garahe ng bahay ng parents niya, malayo pa siya ay rinig niya na ang mga bisita ng Mom niya. Mga ka-mahjong nito at kasamang mag-golf ng Dad niya.“Primrose!”
CHAPTER 3Nakasimangot si Prim habang nakatingin sa bintana ng kotse.“Just accept these gifts, Primrose.”“No.”“Yes.”“It’s an apology gift.”“You’re fixing it naman na kaya no need na.” natahimik si Ian.“Wala ka na bang ibang kailangan? Need pirmahan? If wala na, then aalis na ‘ko. Thanks.” Akmang lalabas na si Prim sa sasakyan nang inunahan ito ni Ian para tumakbo sa kabilang side ng sasakyan at pagbuksan si Prim ng pinto.Primrose is trying to be nonchalant as much as she can, dahil ayaw niyang aminin sa sarili niya na sa edad niyang ganito, ngayon lang siya kinilig sa isang lalaki.“Are you going somewhere? Pwede kita sundan, just for me to know na safe ka makararating sa---”“Wait. Why would you do that?” hindi makasagot si Ian.“Nothing. I just---”“No. I can manage. Bye.” She coldly said at sumakay na sa sasakyan niya atsaka impit na tumili at pinagtatampa ang manubela.Walang ideya si Ian kung gaano ka-grabeng pagpapanggap na hindi apektado si Prim sa presensya nito. Natigi
CHAPTER 2Primrose accepted Ian’s follow request.Personal account niya ‘yon kaya naman iilan lang ang mga naka-follow sa kaniya.Mostly, mga closest friends lang. Hindi nga kasama sa personal account niya ‘yung manager niya, kasi minsan, may mga lalaki siyang kasama na nilalagay niya sa ig story niya at iniiwasan niyang mapagalitan sa management.Akala niya ay magc-chat si Ian, pero para siyang tangang naghihintay dahil walang message ang dumating.“Ginagago ba ako ng lalaking ‘to?” tanong niya sa sarili niya habang naka-kunot noong nakatingin sa mga ig posts ng lalaki.Bakas sa mga post niya kung gaano kayaman ang pamilya niya. Prim is kind of judgmental sa ganitong bagay lalo na kung alam niyang magastos ang tao, na hindi naman nila sariling pera ang mga winawaldas nila.It irritates her.Isa na rin siguro ‘yon sa mga rason kung bakit hinding hindi niya kayang masikmurang makipag-date. Kasi lahat nalang ng mga lalaking nagkakagusto sa kaniya, mga mayayabang na wala namang ipagmamay
CHAPTER 1July 2022“Why aren’t you picking up your phone?” the man beside her na kagigising lang, asked nang makita nitong patay-sindi ang screen nito dahil sa tawag.“Hayaan mo lang, huwag mo pansinin. That’s work and it’s my day off. Hindi ko kailangang sagutin.” iritadang sabi ni Primrose at tumayo mula sa kama.Of course, it’s not work. It’s some other guy na naka-fling niya few weeks ago, bugging her and asking her for a date kahit na nilinaw niya naman na hindi siya nakikipag-date.Last night was wild for her, since it was her friend’s birthday na ginawa sa isang exclusive bar. Kaya siguro nagising nalang siya katabi ang isang anak ng mayor ng city nila na nakayakap sa kaniya.“Are you leaving already?” tanong ng lalaki nang makita niyang isa-isang isinusuot ni Prim ang mga damit niya na nakita niyang nakatupi sa couch.“Did you fold my clothes?” the guy nodded. Primrose smiled and gave him a peck on the lips.“You know, that’s thoughtful and sweet.” saad nito habang sinusuot a
February 2023Nanghihinang napatingin si Primrose sa cellphone ng nobyo niya.It was not intentional for her to see that. It was not her intention to see that message. She was not looking for anything, it just popped up. That one message just popped up and it shattered her world.“God, please… wake me up if this is a dream…” she closed her eyes and opened them again, pero nandoon pa rin ang message.She unlocked Ian’s phone and deleted the message and blocked the number. She dwelled on whether what and what not to do and so, she decided to make him think that she does not know anything at all.“Hi there, babe…” bati ng boyfriend nito sa kaniya nang makapasok siya ng condo niya. He just went outside to get some food dahil late na silang nagising at hindi na sila makakapagluto.“Hi.”Just how long can you possibly love a person even after they hurt you?May matitira pa kayang pagmamahal, kahit na nasaktan na o tanging poot nalang ang mararamdaman?Sa buong buhay niya, hindi niya inakala