WinonaMonths went by, and Daddy got worse.I wrote HJ every week, not sure if he was reading my letters and not really caring at all. The outlet was there, and I needed it.HJ,We celebrated my seventeenth birthday at Dad’s bedside. He sang softly to me before I sang him a lullaby and tucked him in that night.He winces in pain a lot more these days, and I’m not sure how to get better care for him.I’ll find a way, WinonaPS Cleopatra supposedly was not beautiful but smart enough to marry some of her political allies. PPS I’m also reading Edgar Allan Poe. He seems to know darkness and pain better than anyone else. I need a friend like that.A daughter’s love made me do what I had to do. I tracked down a suited man’s son in school.Jared let me into his home. He let me into his bed, too.Weeks of my father in pain went by, and I begged Jared’s father for money. The man’s slimy gaze trailed my body over and over again. I started to learn the looks, the sly brushes of his hand, and the
Igot her letter way too late. The date was postmarked months back, and the edges of the envelope were bent and covered with mud.Still, I recited the address as I pounded it into my phone and drove straight there, hoping tofind her, hoping to find the man who must have been taking advantage of her.I banged on the door with the chain I took with me at times wrapped around my knuckles.A tall skinny man with dark circles around his eyes answered. “Damn, calm down. What you want?”“I’m looking for Winona.”“I didn’t tell her she could have anyone over,” he drawled.It was all the confirmation I needed. Taking a step forward, I swung at him, and the chain links shattered his jaw. He flailed back, screaming in surprise. Clattering came from a hallway behind him.Winona stood there, a ripped black shirt hanging from her shoulder and jeans that showed too muchof her waistline hugged her hips. She’d filled out and lost weight too. Her high cheekbones were hollowed out, just like the ga
But my heart jolted back as my mind registered her words.“Sasha,” I whispered. The name matched my unborn baby’s mother, my ex-fiancée. The rhythm of my heart sped up, my stomach suddenly jumped into my throat.It had to be a coincidence.But there weren’t coincidences in the mob.Dallas set a hand on my shoulder. “Not your Sasha, son. She’s an untouchable. Who is this Sasha?” he asked.Jimmy eyeballed us both. “Look . . .” He sighed and then ran a hand through his hair that was wet with his sweat.The walls around me shifted at the fear in his voice. No one’s voice shook like that unless they knew they were about to reveal something unredeemable.“This morning, I went there when you were working, HJ.” He groaned at his own story, as if he was disappointed in his actions. “I shouldn’t have been seeing her. You know how she was though? How she looked at you with those big doe eyes, huh?” Was.I attempted to rise from my chair, but Dallas held me down, a hand on my shoulder. “You’re ly
WinonaDid I look at Jimmy with love or pity?Sympathy or hate? Could I feel both in that moment?My body heaved at the thought of him on the floor, writhing in pain. Or maybe it washeaving up the idea that I would never have to share a bed with him again.Would I have taken him to the hospital had I been given the chance? Or better yet, had it been me, would my boyfriend have driven me there?The answer to that last one was a resounding no.I needed to remember that, remember my place.One flimsy door separated me from a roomful of men who would put a bullet through my head in an instant. And I stood in a hallway of cement walls and dim lighting with the man who had just stabbed my boyfriend numerous times. I was ready for fear to whip through me, make me shake in terror. HJ stood a whole head taller than me, and his shoulders were wider than I remembered. He was bigger, more muscular, more everything than I remembered. Tattoos wove over his neck and arms like they wanted to wrap hi
7 YEARS LATER WinonaI never should have ended up at HJ’s bar. My day had been long though. One of my oldest friends had stopped in at the coffee shop that I still worked at long after graduating from college. She mentioned HJ and how she worried about him.I almost asked her what the hell for? HJ was a beast of a man and could take care of himself. Yet, the only reason she worried about him was because over the years I’d mixed up our friend groups. My self-destructive side that didn’t care about a thing in the world reared its ugly head every time I thought of him ignoring me, acting as if he didn’t know me.So, I kept showing up at his place of business, goading him to disclose that we knew each other through the family.He never did. HJ protected the family at all costs, even if he’d kissed me in a bathroom all those years ago.We passed one another with hatred and longing in our eyes but acted like strangers in front of everyone. Over time, our friends had us down as tolerable ac
HJShe was trying to kill me.Or send me to jail.Or have me lose one of my bars.There was a motive to the shit she pulled.There had to be.When she sat down at the bar and ordered a shot for herself and the bartender, I tried my best not to tell my bartender to fuck off."Hey, Cole. Our customers can't knee a guy in the balls and then come drink here. We should be kicking her out." I eyed Cole for good measure.He held up his hands. "You got her, boss? I'll let you take over making her drink or throwing her out."I nodded, and he winked at Winona before stalking off to go help the few others that were out here on a weeknight.I shook my head at the little tornado sitting in front of me. "Why are you at my bar stirring up shit?""I'm not. Little Georgie was supposed to be out of town."When she didn't offer any further explanation, I went around the bar to pour her shot. She wanted a rum, some of the strongest I had on the shelves. If she wanted to get drunk, I didn't care about
Winona“Unless it’s a damn taser and a bodyguard, you’ve got nothing,” he argued, like he truly believed there was no way I could be prepared if someone jumped me.“I take self-defense classes. Dante’s been training me for years. I’ve been in enough dicey situations to get out of most of the ones I encounter now. If not”—I shrugged and reassured him—“I’ll live. Because if I don’t, I’ll die, right?”He grunted at the words he’d said to me so long ago.They’d echoed through me. They’d ricocheted around in my head for years, even in the darkest nights when Marvin and the men who paid him stood over me, when Jimmy held me down, when I was sure death would be a better option than life.The tube lighting of Crowned Ink glowed a bright red as we neared the shop. Their logo was a red crown with bold colored skulls in a pile below it. I pushed open the heavy glass door but didn’t hold it for HJ.He grunted, but I ignored it. I took in the wall of magazines and, next to it, a large display of t
HJKatalina had permanently marked herself with the words I’d said to her the first night we met:You’ll live because if you don’t, you’ll die.Around it all were skulls and roses and dying flowers of all sorts, wrapped in jewels and strings of pearls in the most intricate detail I’d seen in a long time.I’d never gotten that good a look at it all until tonight. It was art that represented her more than I think she would ever know. I saw her in the world of the family, trapped as a prized possession, trapped by the beauty she flaunted for us. She let herself be used over and over again as bait, and even if she didn’t know it, it would kill her. The family would kill her just like they did everyone.It was a beautiful lifestyle, but one that tangled you up and suffocated you until you were lying there bleeding out.She’d made that bed. I couldn’t change it for her, and I didn’t need to get wrapped up with her.Except she’d marked herself with my words.Like she’d wanted to be mine.My