But my heart jolted back as my mind registered her words.“Sasha,” I whispered. The name matched my unborn baby’s mother, my ex-fiancée. The rhythm of my heart sped up, my stomach suddenly jumped into my throat.It had to be a coincidence.But there weren’t coincidences in the mob.Dallas set a hand on my shoulder. “Not your Sasha, son. She’s an untouchable. Who is this Sasha?” he asked.Jimmy eyeballed us both. “Look . . .” He sighed and then ran a hand through his hair that was wet with his sweat.The walls around me shifted at the fear in his voice. No one’s voice shook like that unless they knew they were about to reveal something unredeemable.“This morning, I went there when you were working, HJ.” He groaned at his own story, as if he was disappointed in his actions. “I shouldn’t have been seeing her. You know how she was though? How she looked at you with those big doe eyes, huh?” Was.I attempted to rise from my chair, but Dallas held me down, a hand on my shoulder. “You’re ly
WinonaDid I look at Jimmy with love or pity?Sympathy or hate? Could I feel both in that moment?My body heaved at the thought of him on the floor, writhing in pain. Or maybe it washeaving up the idea that I would never have to share a bed with him again.Would I have taken him to the hospital had I been given the chance? Or better yet, had it been me, would my boyfriend have driven me there?The answer to that last one was a resounding no.I needed to remember that, remember my place.One flimsy door separated me from a roomful of men who would put a bullet through my head in an instant. And I stood in a hallway of cement walls and dim lighting with the man who had just stabbed my boyfriend numerous times. I was ready for fear to whip through me, make me shake in terror. HJ stood a whole head taller than me, and his shoulders were wider than I remembered. He was bigger, more muscular, more everything than I remembered. Tattoos wove over his neck and arms like they wanted to wrap hi
7 YEARS LATER WinonaI never should have ended up at HJ’s bar. My day had been long though. One of my oldest friends had stopped in at the coffee shop that I still worked at long after graduating from college. She mentioned HJ and how she worried about him.I almost asked her what the hell for? HJ was a beast of a man and could take care of himself. Yet, the only reason she worried about him was because over the years I’d mixed up our friend groups. My self-destructive side that didn’t care about a thing in the world reared its ugly head every time I thought of him ignoring me, acting as if he didn’t know me.So, I kept showing up at his place of business, goading him to disclose that we knew each other through the family.He never did. HJ protected the family at all costs, even if he’d kissed me in a bathroom all those years ago.We passed one another with hatred and longing in our eyes but acted like strangers in front of everyone. Over time, our friends had us down as tolerable ac
HJShe was trying to kill me.Or send me to jail.Or have me lose one of my bars.There was a motive to the shit she pulled.There had to be.When she sat down at the bar and ordered a shot for herself and the bartender, I tried my best not to tell my bartender to fuck off."Hey, Cole. Our customers can't knee a guy in the balls and then come drink here. We should be kicking her out." I eyed Cole for good measure.He held up his hands. "You got her, boss? I'll let you take over making her drink or throwing her out."I nodded, and he winked at Winona before stalking off to go help the few others that were out here on a weeknight.I shook my head at the little tornado sitting in front of me. "Why are you at my bar stirring up shit?""I'm not. Little Georgie was supposed to be out of town."When she didn't offer any further explanation, I went around the bar to pour her shot. She wanted a rum, some of the strongest I had on the shelves. If she wanted to get drunk, I didn't care about
Winona“Unless it’s a damn taser and a bodyguard, you’ve got nothing,” he argued, like he truly believed there was no way I could be prepared if someone jumped me.“I take self-defense classes. Dante’s been training me for years. I’ve been in enough dicey situations to get out of most of the ones I encounter now. If not”—I shrugged and reassured him—“I’ll live. Because if I don’t, I’ll die, right?”He grunted at the words he’d said to me so long ago.They’d echoed through me. They’d ricocheted around in my head for years, even in the darkest nights when Marvin and the men who paid him stood over me, when Jimmy held me down, when I was sure death would be a better option than life.The tube lighting of Crowned Ink glowed a bright red as we neared the shop. Their logo was a red crown with bold colored skulls in a pile below it. I pushed open the heavy glass door but didn’t hold it for HJ.He grunted, but I ignored it. I took in the wall of magazines and, next to it, a large display of t
HJKatalina had permanently marked herself with the words I’d said to her the first night we met:You’ll live because if you don’t, you’ll die.Around it all were skulls and roses and dying flowers of all sorts, wrapped in jewels and strings of pearls in the most intricate detail I’d seen in a long time.I’d never gotten that good a look at it all until tonight. It was art that represented her more than I think she would ever know. I saw her in the world of the family, trapped as a prized possession, trapped by the beauty she flaunted for us. She let herself be used over and over again as bait, and even if she didn’t know it, it would kill her. The family would kill her just like they did everyone.It was a beautiful lifestyle, but one that tangled you up and suffocated you until you were lying there bleeding out.She’d made that bed. I couldn’t change it for her, and I didn’t need to get wrapped up with her.Except she’d marked herself with my words.Like she’d wanted to be mine.My
WinonaIshouldn’t have slept with him. I should have walked away and never indulged the pull I had toward him.HJ said I wouldn’t feel anything, and I normally never did.Except with him.With him, I felt every stupid thing I never wanted to feel again.Pleasure and pain.Hope and dread.Longing and fulfillment.Hate and love.I told him I was going to the bathroom and slipped out the back door into a dark alley behind Heathen’s Bar. Cole was out there smoking a cig and offered one to me. I let him light it and pulled in a hard drag before turning from him and walking away.“Winona, sort of wanted to talk while you enjoyed the cig.”I waved over my shoulder. “Another time, Cole.”His laugh carried down the alley as I turned the corner quickly. I didn’t need to stay any longer and face HJ. His dark stare would grate my raw nerves, and I would have to admit to enjoying him screwing me in the back of the bar more than I enjoyed sleeping with most men.I sighed and took another drag of t
WinonaWhen Dallas waltzed back in with his sons by his side, I was sitting up in the bed. Sebastian scanned the scene immediately, like a sponge soaking everything in. He’d grown up to be the tall, dark, and handsome Italian the whole city loved. Most everyone knew ofhim and his charisma, and he’d become the infamous heir to the mafia throne. He’d also kept a bit of his charm with me, was there when I needed him. Carlos idled behind, like a feline never really concerned with what anyone else was doing. Maybe that was the benefit of being younger with less responsibility.“Sebastian has news,” said Dallas.Dallas’s oldest son stared at me. “You’re too valuable to be doing what you’re doing.”His words pummeled me, made me feel like something more than I was. More than just someone who did a job for them.“I’m fine. Nothing happened.” I shrugged and tried to shake off the feeling of belonging. “I wasn’t paying attention when I should have been.”“Even if you had been, it still could h
HJMen aren’t built like women. Or at least, not like Winona.We could never read emotions as well, navigate a room as well, or know someone else’s next move like her. She didn’t play chess. She dominated it. It was like sittingacross from your opponent and realizing they had all queens lined up instead of pawns.The fight wasn’t fair.We all knew that. Sebastian most of all. He knew he was surrounded by family that was supposed to protect him but that would protect her instead. She’d outmaneuvered him and the family with a love she didn’t even express.Dante trained her, and Carlos talked with her when he wouldn’t open his mouth to anyone. And I slept next to her like a cub trusting a lioness.We respected Sebastian as the king of the family.But we loved Winona.In the family, men aren’t supposed to get close to any woman unless we claim them as our untouchable. None of us had claimed her; none of us had claimed anyone. We’d all been without that love, sailing through life complete
WinonaMaybe I should have been concerned about the red stains on my hands as Dante filed in with their cleanup crew. I’d seen a few of them before, but they were nameless associates of our family, ones I’d probably never see again unless they proved theirworth.Had I proved my worth tonight or lost it all? And what was there to prove to a family that wasn’t mine? If Georgie was right, if he wasn’t lying, I belonged on the other side of the tracks.My heart didn’t rush when HJ mumbled that Sebastian would be furious. We stood at the elevator doors, HJ with his hat on and my hood back up for no good reason. The cleanup crew would be calling the police later tonight to have them wipe the cameras.In this city, we were protected.As the elevator door pinged, HJ walked in and then turned to me, black fire licking through his eyes. “Get in the elevator, Winona.”He’d almost told me he loved me in that car, and I’d been ready to drive off into the sunset with him. Now, could I love him kno
Winona “You’re kidding me, right?”“What do you mean?” I tightened my ponytail. Earlier today, I’d gotten so bored, I’d disguised myself well enough that I could go to a little shop around the corner. HJ hadn’t exactly said I could leave his place, but he had said he was finally taking me out tonight.That called for celebration. The closest store was eccentric, and I was all about it. They had knockoff clothes and secondhand items, but it was someplace to go where I knew I wouldn’t be seen.“We’re not going anywhere with you dressed like that.” He pointed at me accusingly, as if my outfit was completely ridiculous.I had to admit, it was different. The latex fit every nook and cranny of my body like a glove. I was actually surprised it wasn’t custom made for me. To say I was proud of the rare find was an understatement. “This is perfectly legit for whatever we have to do tonight. I’m wearing combat boots and a dark outfit. It’s the best way to hide in the shadows.”“You’re wearing a
WinonaHe’d left a note for me that morning.Notes weren’t my thing.Not anymore.I’d only ever gotten two. One from HJ telling me he’d never write me again—which was ironic now that I held another one of his notes in my hand—and the other . . .The other one was from the only other person I’d ever loved. It was a bad one, a deadly one. One that made me want to lie down and die with him.My mood soured. The man better wake me up next time he was going to leave me for hours on end.Plus, the note wasn’t even good. There weren’t any hearts or balloons or our names scribbled next to each other.I’LL BE BACK in a couple hours. The cabinet next to the bookshelf has food.HJPS Do you think Cleopatra was ever kidnapped?PPS Books written by Poe are on that shelf if you want to read.BY FOOD, he meant granola bars and apple juice. My stomach growled in protest when I’d eaten three and still felt starved.When I heard footsteps in the hallway, I sat up in the bed. I chucked one of the bars at
HJI left her to get breakfast, to get my bearings, and to get intel on the fact that I was sleeping with the heiress to the Russian mob.Carlos had already pulled intel from Georgie’s phone, and he called both Sebastian and I aboutit that morning. “Well, there’s a lot more information than I wanted in here.”Sebastian grumbled into the phone, surely tired from lack of sleep. “Is there information on where the fuck Winona’s at?”“We’ve got everyone out looking,” I said, lying through my teeth. I hadn’t looked at all last night.“Dimitri took her. It’s obvious from the communications,” Carlos announced. “I’ve got— I think we need to meet to discuss this.”Carlos was always worried about tapped phones. We were intelligent enough to have people within the FBI bury our conversations. We switched out phones too. Still, you could never be too careful, and I was sure Carlos had the information I needed, information that would start a war I wasn’t sure I was ready to participate in.I foun
WinonaI came to, and the first thing that hit me was a migraine from the chloroform hangover.I didn’t move. Waking up as a captive and waking up next to an angry, violent lover were very much the same.I relaxed my body and kept my breathing slow. I listened for any sound—voices, TVs, footsteps, traffic outside; any clue that could tell me where I was.I lay across a cushioned surface that felt much like a leather couch, and some cloth was draped over my body. I felt the tulle of my dress still wrapped around me, but the knife that should have dug into my ribs was gone.My kidnapper had wrapped me in a blanket and laid me on a couch? Left me dressed? It seemed they’d be playing nice once they knew I was awake.With just the sound of cars in the distance, I knew we must still be in the city, but whoever was with me, they weren’t giving much away. No one talked or walked around, and I couldn’t smell anything except . . . a hint of metal mixed with aftershave, like he’d washed away the
HJThe warm candlelight flickered on the face of every man watching Winona too closely as we walked back in. I wanted to leash her and drag her from the gala. Yet no wild animal like her was meant to be tamed. I only got that privilege when I was making her moan my name.She glanced at my watch. “It’s probably time for you and me to go our separate ways.”“As long as they intersect at some point later on,” I mumbled as I nodded and started to back away from her.Her dark cat-eye makeup had smudged around her misty gray eyes, and her hair wasn’t bone straight anymore. The wave that broke through her ponytail was a sign of the heat that had passed between us before. That look of dishevelment only worked in her favor. As the music swayed the guests, her presence mesmerized them. For the next hour, I watched her bounce around while hungry eyes tracked her movements.I should have been satisfied. We’d settled on the fact that her place wasn’t with Sebastian. He’d agreed to let her go, a
WinonaMen, by nature, had to be stupid. I was sure of it.Sebastian had given me numerous lectures about not leaving his side, as if I were a sheep, only accustomed to being herded.I played the role well enough and nodded at his requests. Then I promptly faked having to pee.He didn’t even question me.Women should have been leading the world, not men.It took one coy look Georgie’s way and a lift of an eyebrow for him to excuse himself. He knew better than to draw a crowd. He wanted time alone; he wanted an explanation.He wanted me.I strode out onto the balcony. The wind chilled me, and the night air washed over me like a calm before a storm. The stars from this far out of the city shone brighter, louder, and more vividly.The cool cement railing was just thick enough to allow me to lean on it and really peer up into the night, get lost in the darkness of it all. This was the place I felt most at home, surrounded by nothing but myself in a fine outfit, bathed in ink-black shadows
HJShe wore the dress.It was like the devil himself wanted a damn show and had wrapped her up, helped her get ready, and served her to all of us that night. He was laughing in hell right now. I could almosthear his cackle.She strutted in on Sebastian’s arm. Regal, fuckable, mesmerizing. That dress was a waterfall over her legs, but every curve of them was visible. The beads shimmered under the crystal chandelier light, and her dark stiletto heels elongated her stride down the carpet.I tensed as she looked up at Sebastian and smiled adoringly. It may have been a show, it may not have been.Either way, it didn’t matter.The back of her bound up by that black-as-ink ribbon and the way her ass flared out from her waist, I heard some of the men visibly moan.Fucking breathtakingly beautiful.Feathers and beads and black strings had been wrapped around the most dangerous woman here. The mob and the government were watching. Everyone wanted her for different reasons, but we’d all take