LOGINBEAU’S POV.“Arghh! Yes, harder! Oh!”The words were still hanging in the air when the alarm cut through everything…….loud and humiliating in a way that made my face burn.I shot my eyes open, my heart slamming against my chest, only to realize it was a dream. Another dream.Another sick, sinful dream.The image of Shimma wasn’t just in my head like any other fantasy…….it felt too real. Her voice. Her body. That heat that always made me forget myself.I jerked up from the bed, swallowing hard as if I could choke down the shame….this was too shameful, knowing she couldn’t be mine as quickly as I wanted her to be. How long was this going to continue?Having sex dreams about Shimma wasn’t going to make waiting any easier.But at the same time, I couldn’t go to her. Not yet.Not when I was still a suspect in the cops’ eyes.Not when I could be arrested any day and I would never get to see her again.Not when my life felt like a thin piece of string stretched between me and freedom……and a
SHIMMA’S POV…..When the pain hits, it doesn’t just sit in one place. It spreads……like fire under my skin…..like my body is punishing me for being alive.“Babe… you need to come down and have breakfast. You’ve been in bed for two days without food. You’re making me worried as hell.” Mattias’ voice came from the doorway, careful and tired.I didn’t answer. My eyes were open, but I wasn’t really there.Everything hurt. My head hurt. My stomach hurt. My heart hurt the worst.My mother had left the night before……quietly, I think. She couldn’t stay. I understood that much. She couldn’t bear to watch me like this, like a broken thing nobody could fix. Expecially because she couldn’t try to fix me when she herself was fart more broken.And the worst part? The thought that wouldn’t leave me alone.It happened here……In my home.So in my head, it feels like it’s my fault. Like if I had been wiser, if I had been smarter, if I had turned someone away at the right time… Doctor Ryle wouldn’t be dea
Beau’s POV.(continued)“What if someone else used the chance? What if someone who hated him took advantage when there was no one around?” I let the question hang there like bait.“Who?” the cop asked.I let the name drop freely from my mouth. “Mattias.”It felt obscene to say it out loud. But it had to sound plausible, and Mattias had motive and history. The Cop turned around and stole a glance at the other cop who stood by the door.He drifted his gaze back to me, his brows furrowed in shock mixed with concern and curiosity….he was buying it. I could tell from the way his eyes suddenly became unsure. “What makes you say that?” Thw other officer who stood by the door asked. I hesitated, taking a deep breath, then I spoke, trying to sound calm and a bit unsure…..bur at the same time. Believable.“Shimma’s father died at Ryle’s hospital years ago,” I said, my voice soft. “They failed him. He lost everything…….his job, his health…Mattias was close to Shimma’s family. He held Ryle resp
Mr Beau’s POV; (continued)“Good day, Mr Beau,” one of the police officers greeted, his face and tone serious.I glanced carefully at the two police officers. One kept his hand near his radio as he watched me suspiciously; the other had that flat look people get when they know they’ve already won. My mouth went dry.“Mr. Beau,” the other one said. “We need you to come with us to the station for questioning.”I laughed, a thin sound that might’ve been a sob. “Why?” My voice was small. “What did I do?”“We advise you to cooperate,” the cop who spoke earlier said. “It’ll make things easier for you.”Make things easier. The words landed like a blow. My hands shook so hard they felt useless. “I don’t understand,” I said. My head spun with possibilities. Some neighbors complaint…..my mother being worried that I hadn’t been picking her calls…/..anything but the thing I’d been trying not to think about: Doctor Ryle.They didn’t handcuff me. It felt like they didn’t need to, and that alone cal
BEAU’S POVI sat on the couch, every muscle coiled so tight my hands trembled. It’s been two whole days. Two endless days since I’d been turned away at Shimma’s door. They wouldn’t let me in. They kept her from me.Her photos displaying on my television were a poor substitute. I’d stared at them until the edges blurred…….her face lit the screen and my chest tightened into a fist. It wasn’t enough. I needed to see her in person, to stand near the lilt of her scent, to watch the slow tilt of her head, to watch those eyes that always seemed to look right through me. I craved the curve of her lips, the soft fall of her hair, the way her body moved when she laughed. The want in me had a taste, metallic and hot.My breathing came faster now, shallow and urgent. I rubbed my palms against my jeans until the skin burned. The apartment felt too small. Every clock ticked loud, like a countdown I hadn’t consented to. I was falling apart….my whole life was falling apart and I felt utterly helpless
SHIMMA’S POVI was in the bathroom, the steam curling around me, when the bedroom door burst open and slammed against the wall. The sound jarred me….causing me to freeze in fear.A second later Mattias’s cologne hit me: cedar and something green and strong. Then his voice followed, my heart settling in relief.“Honey?” He called loudly.I opened my mouth to answer, but my throat clenched. Words wouldn’t form. I felt empty and heavy all at once.The bathroom door opened. Mattias stood framed in it for a long few seconds, shoulders squared but not relaxed. His eyes were soft with pity, and that look hurt more than anything….I didn’t like how he looked at me…..i didn’t like how his eyes reminded me of my terror moments with Lucas. Those times he would save me and then stare at me like my life was some sort of torture.Although he warned me…..He kept sensing the danger and I stupidly ignored all the signs. Fuck me!He came in slowly, like he was careful not to startle me, and began undoi
“What if I can be the person you need?”Mr. Mattias took a deep breath, turning to face me. My heart raced as his eyes met mine, and then he turned back to her. “Emily, how can you be the person I need when you weren't there when I needed you the most? How can you be the person I need when I don't n
LUCAS'S POV.I knew it! I fucking knew it. I knew something was going on between them, it was so obvious. The day at her office, when he knelt down so close to her. his protectiveness towards her, his sudden cold mood whenever he sees the both of us together. I knew it.This is sick! how could he? How
“Mr. Mattias, you’re not going to lose me,” I reassured him, my tone gentle.He hissed softly, pulling me in for another hug. “It's just that I haven't felt this way about anyone else; it's new, it's strange, yet I don't want to stop,” Mr. Mattias said, hugging me tighter than he did earlier.“I love
SHIMMA.“Let's tell your parents,” He said. I quickly sat up.“Uhh, no, we can't, we can't let them know,” I mumbled, my heart racing.“Why? We can, we just have to make them understand,”“No, I don't think it is a good idea, they won't understand,” I shook my head in disapproval.There was no way my mot







