I would've caved in immediately back then.But when I grew up and knew what love really was. I would find that the me in the past merely caved in because I hadn't let Felix go.Felix spotted the minute changes in my expression and smiled. He grabbed my hand. "I never knew you could be such a wildcat. You're pretty amazing."Right? It also got me thinking. I was committed to being his lackey back then and listened to every word he said. I never got my time to shine, that was all.We didn't really talk much after that. I mostly listened to what Felix had to say.He told me about his life in university, his loving relationship with Lilac, and his plans for their future. He spoke of so many things and different people, yet never mentioned me.I couldn't help but wonder whether Felix actually knew what I was thinking or if this was his way of telling me to stop holding out for him.It wasn't really a pleasant barbecue.Felix really was cruel to tell the girl who had a crush on him f
"No, it really is her," I said faintly.Lilac had supposedly returned home with her mother after several days. She was standing under a small kiosk by the roadside. She held a large umbrella above her as the rainwater splattered her short skirt, making her curves all the more apparent.Lilac looked like a fake flower sprouting in the rain.She placed her hands near her mouth again before yelling, "Felix!"Felix saw her this time. Light glowed in his dark eyes. He ran out into the rain like an excited child, his white sneakers splashing in the dirty rainwater. "You're back, Lili."Felix ran over and held Lilac in his arms. She giggled happily.I stood there in the torrential rain, not even noticing that my umbrella was off-kilter. My heart felt numb.Felix always managed to hurt me without so much as lifting a finger.The wind and rain swirled around me cruelly. My heart was colder than the weather right now.Lilac and Felix spoke to one another in the rain. Lilac giggled again
I told myself I could do it. I could still be that cheerful young girl named Luna without him.The torrential rain had caused a brief flood to rise above curb-level. I couldn't see the road or what was beneath my feet save for dark, muddy water.It was a perfect metaphor for my current state after deciding to let go of Felix and stay away from him. I still hadn't found a way nor knew what my next step should be.I carefully felt my way into the water, tears falling down my eyes and blurring my vision.I was aggrieved and angry. Why was I always the one left behind? What did I do wrong? I liked Felix so much and treated him like my everything. Why did he have to treat me this way in return?Was shame the only result of liking someone?I couldn't hold back the tears as they fell.I told myself not to cry. I had walked this street countless times that I could go back home with or without Felix.But I couldn't control my aching heart. Tears continued falling as I saw Felix and Lila
I was regretting my decision.I shouldn't have believed Felix's bullshit nor decided to eat that shitty barbecue with him.I cursed myself angrily. Had I never had a barbecue before? Did I have to make myself so pathetic all just for a barbecue?Yet I had barely taken a few bites before nearly dying in this damned drain! I really did deserve this!But I couldn't accept dying just like this!"Is anyone there? Can someone help me?" I cried out as loudly as I could, hoping some passerby in the rain could hear my voice and pull me up.I didn't have high hopes, but I didn't want to give up either.There was nothing else in the street besides the roar of thunder and lightning. Dread and fear swarmed me.I tried getting myself out of the drain several times with my own strength. It wasn't a large hole. I thought I could do it.But the walls were too slick to climb. My injured leg wasn't helping either. My chances of climbing out of here were basically nil.Was I going to die witho
When I was five years old, Mom bought some fish back home and kept a few lively ones in the tank. A scrawny young boy and I lay near the tank and happily watched the fish swim about. We wanted to raise them and then release them into the ocean.When I was seven years old, I got really into movies depicting powerful, skilled female warriors riding on horses, roaming the world, and exacting justice with a sword in hand. So, I started practicing martial arts, wanting to become a famous, righteous Robin Hood-like vigilante.But I ended up falling from a fence and hurting my kneecap. I wailed painfully on the ground.Felix's brother, Colin, consoled me with a lollipop. He said, "Warriors never cry."I looked up at him and asked, "Do warriors eat lollipops, then?"Colin thought about it for a moment before nodding. "They do. Warriors love lollipops."When I was ten years old, I skipped a grade. All my classmates called me a freak, someone who was more capable than them, even though I
"Run, Lulu!" Mom's voice grew weaker as the net tightened around her."No, Mom. I don't want to go alone. Can you please come with me?"Mom shook her head as she grew more distant. I got up to chase after her, terrified."Wait for me, Mom!"I opened my eyes all of a sudden. Bright sunlight shot right into my eyes. I quickly covered them.A warm yet dry hand touched my shoulder immediately. A voice called out, "Don't move. You're still healing. Dear, Lulu's woken up."I returned to my senses. The sharp smell of sanitizer filled my nostrils. There was an IV drip bag right above my head.I was still alive!I remembered now. That kind old man saved me.I survived yet another catastrophe!"How are you feeling, darling? Do you feel sick anywhere?" Mom's delicate yet loving face appeared in my vision. How long had she been crying? Her eyes were frighteningly swollen."Mom," I called softly, caressing her cheek.Mom pressed my hand to her face as tears of joy burst forth. "Sweet
Mom's and Dad's faces turned gloomy in an instant. Mom's jaw pulled taut as rage boiled in her eyes.I hadn't returned home even when it was nearly 9:00 pm that night. When Mom called my number, she found my phone on the couch in the living room, left behind. Felix's phone had been shut down.Mom said she was really worried because the thunderstorm was too violent. So, she went to knock on Aunt Melinda's door to ask my whereabouts.But when Mom opened the door, she saw Felix sitting on the couch, cuddling with Lilac and feeding her fruit.When Mom asked him where I was, he was confused. "Luna isn't back yet? We parted ways on the street earlier."When Mom and Dad figured out where exactly Felix and I parted ways, they ran out looking for me without even taking an umbrella.No one was out in the streets while the rain poured.Mom and Dad panicked. They knocked on every single shop door to ask whether anyone had seen me.The storm was strong that day. Most of the shops had closed
If it weren't for the kind old man I encountered, I would be a lifeless body by now. And a simple sorry couldn't reverse the situation.If I had known that the barbecue dinner with him would lead to this, I wouldn't have gone, even if it meant death. I blamed it on my lack of willpower.So, it was my own fault, not his. I didn't need his light-hearted apology after he left me alone to face life and death.Felix seemed to sense my indifference. He leaned forward and reached out to check my forehead temperature. He was about to say something when I avoided his touch and cut off his yet-unspoken words. "I'm tired and need rest. Leave, and don't come back."Perhaps my coldness made him uncomfortable. Guilt appeared in his eyes as he tried to justify himself. "Lulu, you never used to treat me like this."With a faint smile, I squinted my eyes against the harsh sunlight. "The past is the past, and I've already apologized for my mistakes. There's no need to bring it up again."It had be