Chapter 6.1

What the hell! He's at it again. Why does he keep on doing it? Is he having fun of making me furious at him? Because I really am angry again that I even want to destroy everything that I can see now. He just vanished from the hologram where I just saw his image yesterday and he's really doing it on purpose now which made my headache more. I just massaged the bridge of my nose and my temple to calm myself down and to stop myself from breaking things out of anger. I tend to do what I'm thinking when I'm angry but that'll just affect me with my mission. I see... He's having fun playing with me, huh? Damn, I don't play games for fuck's sake! But I can do it if it's a death game. I'll gladly do it while giving him the sweetest smile that I have.

I was staying here the whole day just to find him and to start what I'm supposed to do. To prove that he can help me and ask him a favor because it seems like he also needs me yet he's not taking this seriously anymore! I haven't eaten for I have just used the tablet that I have which can supplement me foods. If I'll drink that, then I won't be hungry for a week and I did that just to find him. I just need to talk to him but he seems to be afraid to show himself to me because of an unknown reason. Why would he be fucking afraid of doing that? I won't even eat him for I ain't a monster. Damn him! Don't make me lose my patience or you'll also lose your life!

I tried punching the hologram even if I know that I can't touch it for it was just a photographic recording of a light field and I'll just seem like punching a ghost and it's so useless at all. I'll just make fun of myself just because of that fucking guy who wants nothing but a playmate. Has he missed playing when he was still a child or he just really didn't experience it? I was about to pity him but my mind changed. Why would I if he's the one making my life harder and miserable than before?

I just threw it on the table and made the door open even if I'm quite away from it to ready it because I just decided to go out instead of staying in this whole fucking room while wasting my time of waiting for him to give me some signals to help me and tell me where I can find him. He doesn't even seem to care even if it'll cost me forever, damn it! I'm now doubting if he can really help me or he just showed himself to me to have his own toy which he has never had for it wasn't allowed for Afrókremas to have. I just remembered that it was forbidden for them to play and have fun regardless of their age because they want everyone to be serious and just focus on the job that they are supposed to do. But I still can't and won't let this pass away.

I looked at the door that opened by itself. It can detect my fingerprint even if I'm away from it. I don't need to put my finger directly into it and that made it much easier but it's still useless though. I'll still go towards it to go outside, so what's the freaking difference? They've just wasted their time doing this to be cool and amaze those foolish people. I mean there's nothing to be amazed in this damn technology. I can even live without all of it and I know that my life will be much better without this.

I just shook my head to express how disappointed I am in them. Imagine them taking years to find this all out but it's all just useless for this certain woman who can appreciate anything but this. They've just wasted their efforts if they see this worth it. I have such a high standard in everything even though I really am not as great as my mother. I'm not even a known scientist nor do I can understand her formulas because that's not really meant for me. I know that I can shine and excel in my own fucking way without someone telling me what should I become and what should I prioritize. I have something I can do that my mother can't. I don't need to follow her legacy or something for me to be useful because I'm worth it and unique. We all are and that's why I hate comparing though it's hard to stop it in times like this. Comparing two other people with two different worths is so unfair for each of them and that's what people should know.

They think they know everyone for them to decide on what will be everyone's strengths and weaknesses but that's where they're proven wrong. I won't let them control me and decide on my life. I can nail everything that I love doing without anyone commanding me what to do just like what they are doing to others. That's the reason why I'm hiding from them and acting that I am their little slave who will gladly take everything that they will order me to do. They love seeing everyone kneeling on them without them knowing that there is someone who's faking all of it and wants their head from the start.

I'm just really insane so I just hope that a sudden intelligence will knock on my mind because I'll gladly accept it without even having a second thought and with open arms. That's the most important thing now but only a few have it and sadly, they are being killed one by one because Vasileìas are afraid that they might be the one to figure out how to defeat them just like what my mother had. They are so afraid because they know that can never fight for themselves if something happened. After all, I know how weak they are. They're just depending on those robots, technologies, and such that can never bring them the strength that they need. We can easily take them down the moment I figured out how I can defeat them and that is the hardest task of them all.

It's just hard for everyone to have a helping hand for they have lost their mind already for those Vasileìas took it from them. I mean it, literally. I still can't prove it but I know that they are taking everyone's intelligence and that added to my mission and to to the truth that I want to know. I will find it all out including the secrets that I am. Not interested to know the moment those Vasileìas fell on their knees while crying for forgive for me to spare their useless life who fucking brought every misery that the world can bring to us.

Am I that weird and doubtful for thinking of that? Well, that ain't impossible. If they made us live the world that they want us to, then they can get all of our intelligence and control everyone's mind. I've witnessed how crazy they are just by knowing everything that they did. I don't even know if they still have their heart with them or if it was already replaced by a robotic heart for I'm not even sure if they still can feel anything other than being greedy and their mission to be as powerful as gods who can make life through experiments and bring back the lives of those who are already dead. That's how high their dreams are but who told them that I'll let them succeed that easily? Then they know nothing about me.

I looked at the wall surrounding me, imagining the world outside of this house, and smiled bitterly. Disappointed passed through my eyes as misery lingers in our life. It seems to be enjoying its stay now. I don't even think we still are on Earth, if I'll be that creative, then I might start thinking that this is another dimension or another planet that was living. That those Vasileìas are just fooling us- on the second thought they really are fooling us from the start so why am I even surprised and doubting that they can do it? Though I really don't know if those are true, I still have a hunch that we're living on some planet but Earth.

I stood and walked towards the door as my every step causes a loud thud on the floor. I'm planning to examine every corner of this house thoroughly for I haven't done that since I've arrived here. There could be something that I can use but I just can't see it because I'm putting all my time and effort there. I'm just focusing on that hologram without thinking that there might be something important here. Something that my mother disposed or left before leaving this house to start her experiments and to end her life as part of Afrókrema which has so many rules to obey that are not in favor of her.

I wonder if there's something here for her to turn back at her birthplace and decide to just be a normal person where she can freely do what she wants without thinking of being an elite- a position next to the Vasileìas and they are supposed to be the ones protecting and supporting them from anything that the Vasileìas wants. That's another responsibility for her. Elites are just near from Vasileìas. They can be called as the person whom Vasileìas trust. But little did know, my mother betrayed them. And the trust given by the Vasileìas is just fake. They are dragging these Afrókremas to be as inhumane as they are and that's why many Afrókremas aren't in favor of them but they're just keeping it to themselves or else they'll also face the consequences that my mother had in the hands of those evil leaders.

But wait- does that mean that they already know that my mother betrayed them that's why they killed her? Does that also mean that they are observing me now for they are expecting me to follow the path that my mother started? Should I start changing my plans then? Is that why that guy isn't showing himself to me for he knows that I'll just drag him with me to the bait that the Vasileìas made? But that's Impossible! I know how smart my mother is so I think they have some reasons that I still can't figure out. Maybe I'm starting to overthink again and that ain't good. I myself will just ruin everything if I won't move according to what I'm supposed to.

My mother already cleared the path for me, the only thing that I need to do now is to pick on where should I go and make sure that I won't fail or else, all her efforts will just go to waste together with me. That'll totally be messed up. I don't want her to be disappointed in me although she's already dead. I still have my heart with me and I definitely know the world love which I'll only give to her. No one deserves me. Damn, I'm not even planning to have a family not to have a child with me from any man.

I hate thinking of building a family now if I'll just drag all of them in this world where peace isn't a thing. I know that this world will just take their innocence out of them and change them to hell. I don't want them to go through what I've been to and what I'm going through now. I don't want them to suffer just like me- just like everyone in this world. I'll just reconsider settling down the moment this world goes back to normal. But that's Impossible, this world will never be fixed again and that means that I'll never have a family anymore. It's better to be alone than to make children that'll just end up as a slave of those Vasileìas and I don't know if I can stand seeing them that way. I'm afraid for that to happen so might as well push myself to loneliness than to have someone that'll hug me in this world full of arrows that can kill all of us.

I can't take seeing them suffer and that's why I prefer myself this way; fighting alone though waves of hardships are striking me and trying to take me down. I don't wanna be selfish that's why I'm not dreaming of being a mother and a wife anymore though I wished to have one before. I mean it's everybody's dream and I'm not excluded from that. But thankfully, I've realized this and just dumped those wishes of mine.

I rolled my eyes to the idea that stopped me from doing what I was about to do a while ago. I almost forgot that I decided to waste my time searching for something I didn't know that can help me here. I'm just hoping that there are. But at least I tried, right? Who knows if I was really meant to use antique technologies, maybe that'll be useful than those technologies in the present world that was really obvious that it was made by those greedy creatures to satisfy all of them.

I walked towards an old closet, it doesn't contain clothes and it's more on spider webs. I removed some of it without killing them, I tried opening every drawer that is already empty and observed even the smallest dot in it but I still ended up disappointed for I have found nothing. Hm... So my mother really brought everything that she has What a great news it is. But there might be something left here. She didn't have all of them with her when she left, did she? But I just opened the first closet and I still saw one more closet a while ago outside so I shouldn't lose hope that fast.