Chapter 1: Please, stop!

 

Clara

The night had already set so deep, yet here I am staring right into my awful reflection through the mirror I badly wanted to crush in frustration. The same reason that made another night for me so gloomy.

Tracing down the horrible scar on my left cheek that made my life a living hell, I failed to notice tears strolling down my eyes.

If only I didn’t have this scar. If only I had the means to make it disappear, just like what I’ve thought, then maybe I would have a chance to stand against Alice. But being wolfless only means being the weakest among the weak.

My shoulder jolted in shock as the door of my room wildly pushed open, creating a loud banging noise. I left the mirror to see what it was, but I froze on the spot when I saw Samuel standing right after the door.

Seeing him with his tousled hair and dressed in crumpled clothes, I frowned. Regardless of his hollow cheeks, thick brows, and his chiseled jawline that made his features sculpted with perfection, the Samuel in front of me right now looked awry and miserable.

His sharp gaze roamed every corner of my room as if he was searching for me. It didn’t take him a while before his hooded sleepy eyes darted on me.  

“Samuel?” I utter in disbelief seeing him inside my room.

A groan was the only thing I heard as a response as he started marching. His unstraight and unstable walking pace along with the overpowering scent of alcohol filling my nostrils made me realize he was drunk.

I didn’t wait for him to reach me and immediately hung his arm onto my shoulder to help him.

“Are you okay?”

“No, I’m not. You, whore!”

After making him sit on the edge of the mattress, and without minding his words, I turned around. “I’m gonna get you some water—”

However, I was interrupted when I felt a sudden bang of pain on my scalp because of his tightened grip on my hair which was on my waist length. Before I could protest, he forcibly pulled it, making me face him.

Watching his eyes blaze with rage, my heart pounded.

Samuel didn’t waste any more time and crushed my lips with his. My eyes balled out in surprise but were later replaced by an ache as there was no gentleness present with his every move.

His hands went down to my waist, gripping it, before shoving me to the mattress. Because of his undeniable strength as an Alpha, it took me longer to recover from the pain.

“What are you doing?”

Seeing him start to unbuckle his belt to pull his pants down, fear began to consume me.

Did he mistook me for Alice?

“Stop acting innocent. You want this to happen, right?” he bitterly chuckled, crawling his way on top of me.

His jaw was tightly clenching as he looked down on me. “You could have told me that you badly wanted me to fuck you, but you chose to drug me to risen my sex drive, huh. What do you think of me, stupid?!”

“No, I had no idea what drug you’re talking about. I didn’t do anything, Samuel,” my voice was pleading.

“That’s what you’re good at. Acting like an innocent angel, but deep inside you are just as evil as your father!”

I forced myself to sit down, pushing him by his chest. “Please, believe me.”

With just one tiny push from him, I fell back to the mattress. Samuel took that chance to hold both sides of my dress and tore it apart effortlessly.

I gulped, feeling my throat running dry. My hands were shaking as I pleaded for him not to do it. But as if he was suddenly deaf, he didn’t mind any of it.

His right hand was clutching both my tiny wrists as I tried to resist, while his left hand had already pulled the remaining cloth I had.

“No! Let me go!” My movements became rapid with my heart racing. However, with just one last move, my face crumpled with pain as Samuel successfully inserted his shaft.

“A-ah,” one painful scream escaped my mouth before I heavily shut my eyes with agony. It was as if my body was being torn apart with throbbing pain filling my entire body.

“I didn’t even think that you could still be a virgin,” he mockingly pants in between his thrusts.

The only thing I could hold on to was his arm that was covering my mouth. My nails dug into his skin with pain, while he slowly placed his palm up to my face, to cover it. He didn’t even mind if it would bring me pain just so he could be satisfied.

“Can’t even stand looking at your nasty scar,” he was catching his breath as he enjoyed himself while I squirmed in discomfort.

With every hard thrust he took from me, all I could think of was how my hatred toward my mate was growing.

I knew accepting a mate of someone like me wasn’t something he could do. But he’s gone too far.

His pace quickened before he groaned heavily. I felt him withdraw his thing, releasing all of his semen onto my thigh.

“It’s better to be safe because I would never want to impregnate you at all. My child would be so unfortunate to have a weak and hideous mother like you.”

I watched him fix himself, before turning away to leave. But before shutting the door, he stopped and without looking back, he spat, “You got what you want. I hope you’re satisfied.”

I badly wanted to scream in anger, but no words came out of my mouth. My entire body was trembling with too much resentment it was holding as if it would explode by any minute.

My head was filled with the most horrible words I could call him. Since Samuel didn’t mark me after all being mates, he cannot mind link me. I cursed him nonstop, hence none of it made me feel better.

I could accept not being his Luna as Lunas were supposed to have exceptional beauty and power which I clearly don’t have. And stupid it may appear, I can forgive him for that. But what he did tonight was unforgivable.

Living my entire life as torment, I couldn’t help but think that it would all just end if I was gone.

Sitting down on the mattress, my core began to ache as I felt his semen everywhere on my skin. I gathered myself up, grabbed the robe that was hanging beside my table, and walked out of my room.

I could feel pieces of leaves hitting my barefoot feet while the cold sharp stones pierce my toes. But I was too numb to even react.

Tears streamed down my cheeks while I continued to walk away from the Packhouse. A cold breeze blew before I heard a loud and long howl. I came to an abrupt stop, reaching the lake behind the Packhouse.  

Fighting against my own misery was perhaps the most absurd thing I could have ever done. If I had given up earlier, I wouldn’t have ended up like this.

I looked down to peek through the lake in front of me, more tears fell down.

Ending my own misery would be the solution to all of my pain.

Without thinking twice, I took a deep breath, closing both my eyes as I pushed my shaky feet to step forward until my sole didn’t feel anything solid to keep me on the ground.

I knew I wasn’t sure about all of this, but it was also too late to back out. My skin felt the coldness of the water as I let my body slowly sink into the deepest of the water. It was the best decision I’ve been proud of.