Slap

Ava.

The woods whizzed past me as I ran with reckless abandon. Shifting for me was like a temporary release from all the problems life threw at me. It was my source of dopamine.

To run free, untethered, unbothered with just the wind caressing my fur and my paws hitting the soft earth as the moon illuminated the path ahead of me.

Yet I knew that even after my temporary retreat, the problems were still facing me back at the pack.

My husband had gone ahead to fuck another woman, breaking the mate bond we both shared. It would have been different if he was wrong with another woman, but I knew this was an irreversible change because now my best friend was carrying his child.

The thought of Cassie, whom I took as my friend, spreading her legs to let Zane in, filled me with a jumble of so many emotions; Anger, pain, grief, and disgust.

It was getting more and more difficult to concentrate on running. Yet no matter how I tried to block out these thoughts from my head, an image of Zane and Cassie cozying up on the same bed repeatedly kept pushing its way through..

Finally unable to run no further, I came to a stop, lifted my muzzle to the air, and howled in pain, sadness, in frustration. My marriage was ruined, the marriage I had fought so hard to keep for five years was crashing down around me like loose earth all because Zane couldn't just be faithful.

I felt anger flood me; I felt murderous; I felt spite. There was no way out of this predicament, out of this abyss Zane had put me into; the more I thought about a way out, the more my brain kept coming up blank.

I broke into a run again, dodging clusters of tightly packed trees, leaping over fallen logs and tree stumps.

Why, why me? I had given Zane my all. What more could I have done to make sure he didn't do what he did? 

Maybe I hadn't done enough. Maybe he was right. I was scum for not being able to give him a child.

Tired of running, I came to a stop and began the painful shift back to human. One good perk about being a Luna shifter. I didn't have to worry about my clothes shredding off during any phase of my shifting.

They were still intact before and after my change. 

After turning, I knelt down on the floor of the woods, twigs prickling my skin, insects biting and crawling, but those were the very least of my concern. I bent my head to the ground, the smell of damp earth filling my nose, and began hitting the ground with the flat surface of my palms, twigs and snapped branches stabbing into my skin, drawing blood.

Those will heal, but the pain in my heart wouldn't.

"Why, why, why. Why do you punish me this way, goddess? Have I not tried? Have I not done all that you asked? Have I not been faithful to the very end? Why do you continue to do this to me?" I cried out in pain.

The tears were pricking behind my eyes, red hot and I was trying to fight them back, but they too were fighting me for release.

There was a sharp pain in my stomach as I began crying, too tired to hold it in, too weak to be strong anymore.

“Is asking for a child too bad? Is securing the marriage I fought so hard to get a crime? Why don't you just take my life away, no one has any use for an inferior woman."

There was only the whisper of the leaves in the woods as the answer to my lamentation.

"Arrrrgh! " I yelled, looking up at the sky, my heart heavy, my soul crushed. Overhead I saw a flash of lightning, pink against the dark sky followed by a boom of thunder.

Bringing my head down, I allowed the Greif to take over me completely. There was no need to fight it. There was nothing for me in the pack again.

I would leave. That was the decision I was willing to make. Zane could have Cassie. There was no use in fighting for this marriage anymore, it was doomed from the start.

I knew long ago, but like the naïve fool that I was, I wanted this marriage to desperately work. All the signs had been there from the onset, the look he gave me at our wedding when I was inaugurated to the position of the Luna when we made love.

Time and time again, that detached look was in his eyes as a warning to me that this marriage was a failure and yet time and time again I stubbornly paid no heed.

Then why did the goddess make me his mate? Did she bring me into this world to punish me?

Another flash of lighting, followed by the boom of thunder and I could feel the first of the raindrops pricking my skin falling across my face washing away my tears.

I remained in that position as the rain gathered in force, battering my body. I deserve anything. I got all these were physical pain but the emotional pain was like an ugly wound that was going to leave an ugly scar.

With a shaky sigh, I began my shift to wolf, and when complete I made my way back to the pack house, fighting against the rain that was beating down mercilessly at me.

As the pack house drew nearer, I felt another strong wave of grief hit me as I remembered the way Zane had spoken harshly to me over another woman.

Clearing the last cluster of trees that demarcated the woods from the pack house I shifted back to my human form and ran inside the house.

It was empty inside as I figured Zane had once again left the house after breaking the bad news to me. I closed the door against the rain that was now falling in torrents and sighed. I was starting to feel the cold creep into my body but my power would handle that.

"Luna?"

I turned to look up to see Nonna another Omega and one of my servants peering at me from the staircase leading to the upstairs bedroom.

"Yes, it's me Nonna."

"I was worried the wind from the rain has smashed the door open. It’s raining like the devil's ass out there."

I ignored Nonna's comments, too sad and tired to engage in any conversation, and toppled onto one of the sofa seats sinking into it my hair sopping wet my clothes dripping with water

"What's going on Ava? Is something wrong?"

There was no use telling anyone. Nobody was going to rewrite the hands of time it one and bring Zane back to me. Neither was anyone going to make her fertile.

"It's nothing, Nonna, get back to work.

"I'm done, but I'm worried about you. Something is wrong, this isn't you, you’re just sitting there wet and cold all over.”

I considered yelling her away and couldn't find the courage to do it. Asides from being a loyal servant, Nonna a very good friend and a great confidant and I wasn't about to yell at her because of Zane’s stupid actions.

Nona cleared the last set of steps and took a seat by me, hitching my hands in hers.

"You know I'm always here to listen," Nonna said in that sympathetic voice she took on when she wanted to extract information, which was so hard to resist.

Sighing, I gave in and opened my mouth to speak.

The door of the pack house was suddenly thrown open as the wind and a little sliver of rain hit us. Zane was standing by the door looking enraged. His black hair was plastered to his face by the rain, and his eyes were glowing amber.

Without a word, he advanced toward me, and Nonna, scared, scurried out of the way. Before I knew what was happening, his hands swept the air and crashed into my face, snapping my head to the side.