Chapter 1.

Marissa POV.

My fated mate Alpha Damien hates me and only uses me for two things, my blood being one and my body the other. 

“Why do you treat me like that? We are mates. We should love each other!”

“I’ll never love you or think of you as my mate. But you’ll do your duties to me physically, well, not until Jessica returns. You are nothing compared to Jessica!” 

The one person who is supposed to love me unconditionally only looks at me with disdain.  It feels like he rips my heart out of my chest and then stamps on it. I am not the one he holds in his heart and I never will be. The one who he holds in his heart is his childhood sweetheart, Jessica Morgan. I knew then, like I know now.

My name is Marissa Gilbert. I come from a long line of healers who have precious blood, worth as much as gold dust, though it is not golden. Even with this magical blood that has the capabilities to heal any condition and injury, one would think I would be treated as a queen, sadly that is not the case. I’m looked down upon in the pack all because of what and who my parents are. They were traitors as they went rogue, leaving me to my grandfather without a word. No one is permitted to mention their names within the New Dawn Pack because they are traitors. As for what they did to be labelled as such, the story changes with who you ask. 

Growing up, I’ve been subjected to all kinds of humiliations. While the most favoured girl in the pack, Jessica, always had her brother Beta Jake and Alpha Damien tightly wrapped around her little finger. She was to be Damien’s chosen mate and Luna, but that all changed the night before their official engagement announcement. 

The night I became of age and we discovered I am Alpha Damien’s fated mate. A fated bond is stronger than a chosen one for werewolves. Jessica was enraged and fled the pack after they had an argument. As mate bond is irresistible for werewolves, Damien married me in secret with the promise that if I helped his pack members with my blood, he would mark me and make me his Luna. However, he has never fulfilled his promise. I know he’s been waiting for Jessica. 

If I was a vindictive person, I would want them to all fuck off! But I don’t have it in me. Shaking my head at how my life has turned out, I stand on shaking legs as I head back to the emergency department. I am exhausted. They have used my blood more frequently over the past week because of a building collapsing. No one cares if it kills me as long as I heal their loved ones. It is enough to make me bitter, but I always try not to be.

Walking past members of the pack and colleagues, they all look at me with hatred and whisper behind my back, which is pointless. We are wolves and our hearing is exceptional. They may as well say it to my face. 

“Pull yourself together Marissa.” I tell myself I won’t let them see that their words and actions get to me. It won’t do any good.

Increasing my pace, my stomach rolls, I jog towards the bathroom. I vomit what little I had for lunch. Flushing the toilet and opening the cubicle door as I stagger towards the sink to rinse my mouth and wash my face. I have been vomiting frequently. What is wrong with me?

It dawns on me that I haven’t had my cycle. My eyes widen at the realisation, tears streaming down my face. No this, this isn’t happening, it can’t happen. He always made sure I took the morning-after pill because he doesn’t want me to be the mother of his heir. 

There is only one way to be certain. After I have composed myself, I head to Dr Brendan’s office. Dr Brendan was a close friend of my grandfather’s and dare I say he is my friend as well. 

I explained what was happening and blood tests were taken and sent to the laboratory for urgent testing. Other tests were performed as we waited for the results. Maybe it is just because my blood hasn’t replenished or the fact I am exhausted. After a short while, a ding sounds and the printer starts up.

Dr Brendan looks at the screen, then to me and back to the screen. I shift uncomfortably in the chilling metallic seat. It must be terrible for him to be looking like he has seen a ghost.

“Marissa, I will not ask how this has happened. I know the mechanics of the body.” I furrow my eyebrows. What does he mean? He hands me the report as I read he continues.

“You’re pregnant. But your energy level is life-threateningly low, which is risky for both you and your baby.” I am stunned to speak. But I still can’t help myself weeping when staring at the foetus’ picture, wondering if the arrival of this new life would make him have a soft place for me?

“Please, Dr Brendan. What should I do?” my head snaps up as tears leave my eyes. 

“You will have to be admitted and placed under observation. But we need the confirmation of the baby’s father too.” he asks, sighing as he adjusts his glasses. 

I lift my teary gaze to him and shake my head. To be pregnant is already a death sentence to me. Revealing our relationship is nothing short of killing the last hope of keeping the baby. I fold the report and put it in my bag.

“I’m sorry. I can’t divulge that information. Please keep this between us until I decide what to do.” I stand up and walk out of the office and, in turn, leave the hospital.

Walking towards my car, the weather matches my mood. The wind has a chill to it as it whips around my legs like a serpent wrapping me up in its icy clutches. The drizzle becomes heavy; it matches my tears. Unlocking my car, I climb in, slamming the door. I sob as I place my head on the steering wheel. 

“I’m sorry baby. I won’t subject us to whatever that’s gonna take you away. Momma’s got you.” I wipe my face and head back to the pack house.

After some time, I pull up, and exit the car. I hurry towards the familiar pack house as it rains more heavily.

Walking inside, I remove my coat and bag before I make my way to the kitchen to make myself some food. I used to put too much attention on Damien’s diet while neglecting myself. But now my baby is the priority and I must take good care of us. I approach the fridge and instinctively remove ingredients, only realising the dish I’ve made after it’s prepared. Spaghetti Bolognaise. I scoff. This is Damien’s favourite dish.

As I am washing the dishes and placing them in the dishwasher, a spooky figure comes out of nowhere. It’s Lydia, one of the Omega maids in the Pack House, who hates me just like everyone else in this wretched place.

“You’re pathetic and pregnant! I have seen the shadow of a man entering your room. You are nothing but a whore!” She chuckles with my report in her hand.

“Did you snoop through my bag?!” I raise an eyebrow at her and clench my fists to my sides. She seems to have it out for me, and won’t spare any chance to create trouble in my direction. This moment is definitely one she'll seize. 

Any other day, I would ignore her and never retaliate, but not anymore. I will not be a pushover anymore, not when I need to protect my pup. 

“I would suggest you keep your mouth shut. We wouldn’t want you to lose your tongue now, would we?” I growl out as I shoulder barges past her out of the kitchen. Little does she know the man she has seen is her Alpha and my mate, but it’s none of my business.

“I can’t wait to tell the Alpha. You will be thrown out of here like the garbage you are!” She lashes out behind me. 

I smirk. Snitches get stitches, but who cares. I head to my room to wait for Damien. I am still debating if I should tell Damien. If I do, he would potentially kill me; but I don’t, what if he might at least show mercy to his own pup? 

However, Damien doesn’t come back as usual. I tell myself that being an Alpha has various duties to perform. If he had marked me like he promised I would be able to mind link him, but here we are. I never know where he is or whom he is with. I suppose it’s a comfort that he hasn’t marked me. No doubt I would have felt his betrayal.

As the night grows late, I pick up my phone and dial the familiar number. I can’t wait any more, I must know his decision on this baby. 

The phone rings for a good amount of time before the weird running and heavy breathing breaks forth from the other end of the phone. 

“Hello Alpha, will you come back today? ” I bite my lower lip in silence.

“Damien, my love, save me.” my eyes go wide and my ego crashes. I hear the voice that has plagued my dreams and caused me this amount of pain. It’s Jessica, she has returned. 

“Jessica, I’m here. I will save you. Hold on baby, please. I love you.” I don’t say anything and I know it’s wrong to eavesdrop, but I need to know. I can hear the metal groan under the force. I clench my other fist, my nails digging into the flesh on my palm as I feel my blood trickle.

“Marissa, are you there? Are you okay?” I scoff at his fake concern.

“Oh, yes. When will you be home?” I pretend to be as nonchalant as possible. I know what he is going to say.

“I need you to get to the hospital, there is an emergency. A pack member needs your help. She was wounded.” I laugh inwardly at him, also at myself. He is audacious to ask this of me. Me the one who has lived up to our deal yet he hasn’t. He must think I’m a fool. Well the joke is on him. I need to leave, for my baby. I will not risk the life of my pup to save that god awful woman.

Disappointed, I hang up the phone and start ripping my belongings into my suitcase. How stupid have I been? To think that she would never return. I need to leave; I need to get away, and fast.

Closing the zip on my luggage, my door bursts open and a dishevelled-looking Damien stands there, panting, his hands covered in blood. His gaze locked on me and mine on him. His eyes shift to the luggage.

“Going somewhere?”