JennyMatt's bedroom door opened with a quiet snitch of a hinge, and I stilled. I'd left my door open because I hated enclosed spaces, especially while asleep and defenseless. I hoped the light or my movements hadn't woken him. He didn't move for several beats, and then his footsteps padded on the hardwood floor.As he came into view, my heart pounded. Stupid, but it was my visceral reaction to him every time. Twelve years and it hadn't evaporated. Especially when he wore nothing but a pair of black nylon shorts and an uncertain expression. He stopped in the hallway outside my door and sighed, not meeting my gaze. He gripped both sides of the doorframe, leaning into his hands. Head hung, he stared at his feet. I took in his lean, athletic build while he wasn't paying attention. My panties grew damp, but that wasn't unusual around him either. He was so damn beautiful. Not rugged or built. No edges or bulges. He was subtly sculpted as if created from stone. Slight ridges of a six pac
MattCoffee in hand, I stared out the patio door, watching tumultuous waves pound the shore. The weather matched my crappy mood. Sleet poured down in horizontal ugliness and the wind was brutal, bending palm trees nearly in half. The temp was only in the lower fifties, too. I hoped to hell Jenny didn't drive her motorcycle today. The thought of her on that deathtrap during ideal conditions gave me shudders.I shook my head. For the first time in my twenty-eight years, I understood Ian's insane alpha protectiveness he'd always possessed around Summer. Sure, I'd been defensive of my friends and family, cared about them a great deal. Honestly, though, I tended to bite back a smirk at the lengths Ian went to for Summer. The guy could go from zero to batshit in point five seconds if anyone so much as narrowed their eyes at her.After last night, I was thinking of writing him sonnets as an apology for ever questioning his devotion. Because...yeah. I got it now. Without. A. Doubt.From
JennyDecember-Six Years AgoI've never been so scared in all my life. Not even the time Jared had hurt me, nor the day I'd discovered my mother dead on the bathroom floor with a needle in her arm. Worry twisted in my belly and my hands wouldn't quit shaking. Pacing in the apartment over the bar, I took a few deep breaths, but my attempt at calm wasn't working.The past year, I'd been noticing subtle changes in Grampy. Little things. Him forgetting where he'd left his keys, putting milk in the cabinet instead of the fridge, and once he'd called me my mom's name. I'd chalked them up to him being distracted or just normal aging, but the other day had been an eye opener.He'd driven to the liquor supplier and had forgotten how to get home. If it hadn't been for one of our distributors finding him in the parking lot, lost, Lord knew what might've happened. Thinking he had a virus or something, I'd taken him to the ER. But when our doctor had called today with the results they'd run and
JennyI headed downstairs and the scent of roasted chicken hit me. God, I was hungry and it smelled so good. I couldn't cook to save my life, so I think the last time I'd had a home-cooked meal that didn't involve a microwave was when I'd visited Matt in Greensboro last Easter. Before his mind had vacated, Grampy had been a great cook.Rounding the corner, I stopped inside the kitchen doorway and smiled. A roasting pan was on the stovetop and the small table was set with actual plates instead of paper. Matt was leaning over the island, phone in hand, brow pinched as he stared at the screen. He wore a fitted gray tee that conformed to his lean, muscular biceps and torso, and a pair of jeans that emphasized his perfect ass. He ran his fingers over his lips like he did when deep in thought. The movement never failed to make my girly bits weep.For a moment, I let myself get lost in the domestic scene. Him making me dinner. Homey scents wafting through the house and him waiting for me t
MattI lay in bed, the quiet so loud it was an entity. Jenny and I had connected my electronics, but I wasn't interested in what played on my flat screen on the dresser across the room. My gaze skimmed over what she'd referred to as an accent wall. Painted burgundy, it held two large black and white prints of exterior park staircases. She'd left the rest of the walls white, like we'd done in the living room. Color without being obtrusive. Hell, she'd even found a dark red bedspread to match. Brown candles for the dresser.Rising, I padded into the adjoining bathroom and surveyed my surroundings. She'd been a little work horse. I'd seen her changes when I'd showered after she'd left, but I couldn't stop wandering around. Partly because of the changes and mostly because her absence from my house after a week in close proximity felt like a void. I'd gotten used to having her here. A few hours, and I missed her something fierce.She'd turned my parents' summer vacation house into my home.
MattPresentI spent the week getting crap in order. Mundane, tedious, but necessary. DMV. Suits dry-cleaned. Bills transferred over. A monthly maid service set up for basics. Insurance papers. I'd even had lunch with Ian's folks next door when they'd spotted me in the driveway to say hello. I'd tried to visit Jenny's grandfather, but I wasn't on the list. She'd texted to say she'd add me and was sorry the attempt had been a bust.A call to my parents had settled plans for Thanksgiving here at Seasmoke, and I'd fiddled with invites and dates for a housewarming, but hadn't cemented them yet. Figured I'd ask Jenny her thoughts later.This morning, I'd stood staring at my reliable white sedan, and then thought of all the changes I'd made to my life. The car had to go. Out with the old, in with the new. Ergo, I researched cars and SUVs. A truck wasn't for me, and I wasn't looking for flashy. Just different. Maybe something not so...boring?Anyway, I'd come home this afternoon with a Jeep W
MattI took in her flushed cheeks and wanted to haul her against me, make her flush for entirely different reasons. Christ, she was gorgeous. And seriously. What was wrong with me? Damn it. Get a grip. "What was that all about? The numbers?"She shrugged. "How many songs they'll sing. Friday night is open mic night. The customers love it. We have quite a few talents among us. Blows off steam, too.""Jen-Jen. He's set." Rock kicked a chair over to her and cut the sound system.Which reminded me. "Jen-Jen?""Grampy's nickname for me. No one calls me Jenny but the Seasmoke crew." She glanced at Rock, then the stage. Using the chair as a step, she climbed on the bar top with the grace of a cougar and walked the length as catcalls rang out. "Y'all ready?" She laughed at the cheers. "Give it up for Deiter!"Deiter strung a couple notes on a guitar and smiled as the crowd chanted his name. After a moment, the room quieted and the guy on stage began playing.Jenny hopped down and moved the cha
JennyApril - Four Years AgoHe'd come. Again, when I'd needed him the most, Matt had come. What had started as a frustrated Skype chat about Grampy's fading memory and how he'd been wandering out of the apartment, resulted in Matt instilling a three-day weekend to drive down.After two hours in town, he'd taken charge, calling our attorney and getting papers in order while Grampy still had links to sanity. Winter's Den was now officially mine, the bills transferred to my name, and a power of attorney was in place for healthcare and financial. I had a sinking feeling we'd need to invoke that last bit soon, and my stomach knotted.When we'd first been given the diagnosis, I'd tried to have Grampy to get this stuff under wraps. But days turned into weeks, then months, and three years passed in a blink. Every tick of the clock had brought him further and further from reality. Matt had fixed the legal end of my concerns. He'd had a private chat with Grampy during a lucid chunk of time and
JennyHe shrugged as if it were no big deal. His expression sobered as he cupped my cheek. "We need to talk. I've got a thousand things to say.""I've got some things to share, too."Nodding, he glanced around and set me on my feet. Then he bent and hauled me over his shoulder fireman style. I squeaked as he carried me toward the back rooms. We passed the bar and I looked up, blowing hair out of my face. "Rock, close the bar tonight, would you?"Wiping a glass with a white towel, he winked. "You got it."Matt fished around in my pocket for the keys, unlocked the private door to my apartment, and kicked the door shut behind us. With a quick reset of the lock, he climbed the stairs, me still over his shoulder."I can walk."He skimmed a hand over my thigh. "I'm not letting you go for so much as a second tonight." Plopping into a recliner, he adjusted me until I straddled his lap. He cupped my cheeks, thumbs stroking my jaw. His gaze was haggard and apologetic and fraught. "I mis
Jenny"Has he called?" Facing me, Rock crossed his arms and leaned against the back counter.Perched on the bar top, I swung my legs in nervous energy. "No." Nearly an entire week, and not one call, text, or so much as a smoke signal from Matt. Even when he'd lived in Greensboro we'd never gone this long without talking."He will."I shook my head. "I'm not so sure." Rubbing my forehead, I dropped my gaze and forced my stomach to stop rolling in dread. "I'm an idiot cliché. Girl professes her love. Guy runs for the hills."Rock's brows pinged in awareness as if he knew something I didn't. In fact, he'd been acting strange all damn day. "As a guy, I'm telling you, he'll come around. You didn't see the way he looked at you when you sang. Or how when you walk into a room, his only focus is you. He's so in love with you he doesn't know up from down."Too gutted to even hope, I glanced around the empty tavern. Rock and I had talked all afternoon about the details for Winter's Den. Mat
Matt"That's how I got your number. I don't know why she had that, or what it means."Memory shifted in my mind. Why we'd argued. The things we'd shouted at one another. The way I'd pleaded with her.We can go on a date, eat out at a restaurant. Hell, I don't know. We could spend a lazy afternoon collecting seashells.The breath seeped from my lungs. Damn. Damn, damn, damn.After I'd left her under the pier that night, she'd done just that. She'd...collected shells. Christ. It had been an olive branch, and she'd died before I could ever have the opportunity to reach for it. Or she'd known she was going to die and left me this as a message. Either way, the whole situation sucked. Down to the nitty-gritty kind of suck.I cleared my strangled throat. "It was something normal, one of the things I'd urged her to do. Collect shells." I tore my gaze from the bag to him. "That's why she had this."His brows furrowed, understanding in his eyes. "You should keep it, then." His finger tapp
MattI stood there in the middle of my living room, gutted, long after Jenny had shut the door behind her. Hands in my hair, I glanced around, seeing nothing but the fractured look in her eyes before she'd left. Maybe I was ten kinds of a fool, but the thought of her loving me had never occurred to me. I mean, yes, we'd loved each other for years. Probably since the first second we'd met that hot day on the beach. We'd connected in one of those rare fate-like moments people rarely experienced. We'd been friends and a crutch and support for a decade plus. But love? The kind it was apparent she felt...I hadn't a clue.And she'd been right. I'd allowed fear of...who knew what to keep her in this box, stupidly not realizing it was feeding into her ingrained insecurity of not being worthy. Christ. I was the one not good enough. I was the one who couldn't get a handle on what was wrong, not her. From the get-go, Jenny had an innate ability to read me, to get inside my head and fix things
JennyThe others joined us, and Matt's gaze slid right past me. We chatted about Dee's pregnancy and Summer's engagement party, the holidays, work."I can't get over how different the house looks." Summer shoulder-bumped me. "Matt said you did all the decorating. You have no idea how many times I visited his place in Greensboro and wanted to go Jackson Pollock all over. All that gray and white he had going." She shuddered. "This is really beautiful, and more like him.""Thank you." I chanced a peek at him, but he was studying his glass. "To think, all it took was a roll of duct tape to restrain him and voila."Well, that got a laugh.Amber and Rock showed up shortly after, and I went into the kitchen with the pretense of offering them food. Amber took a plate into the living room where everyone gathered as Rock hung back with me.He surveyed the scene, then me. "So, that's them. The infamous Seasmoke crew.""Yep. Pretty gorgeous, aren't they?" The day was weighing on me and I le
JennyI headed to Matt's an hour before his guests were to arrive for his housewarming party. I timed it that way so there would be little chance for us to be alone. Wearing a pair of black leggings, knee-high brown boots, and a white fitted sweater, I donned my coat and checked my makeup in the hall mirror. Subtle, but I'd had to add concealer under my eyes to hide the shadows and blush to my cheeks to give some color. I left my hair down. Matt liked it that way. A girl needed advantages.God, I was nervous as hell. Which made no sense. I'd known these people more than half my life. But Matt and I were a couple now. They didn't know that, though, and the stupid, silly part of me wanted him to tell them tonight. We'd been together a couple weeks. Surely, he'd want us to come out while everyone was in one place.Last night, after I'd sung and we got back to his place, we'd had sex. No talk, just sex. And though things had aligned like always and it had been great, the act lacked our
MattShe moaned. Kissed my mouth in a sweet, sorrowful brush. "I'll see you Friday at the bar?"I had to clear my throat to speak. "Yeah. Wouldn't miss it.""Laters, handsome."Watching her go left an empty ache inside me. And that ache didn't abate until I strolled into Winter's Den two nights later and saw her grinning at customers. What in the hell was this? These errant feelings swirling. The insane need to be near her all the time. Wanting her with every ragged breath between our time together. It was as if oxygen didn't exist if she was out of reach, out of sight.Pulling up a stool, I chatted with her grandfather's friends and Rock until she could break free to say hello. As she leaned over the bar, I caught her scent and closed my eyes to hold it to me. Drifting forward, I went in for a kiss, but she eased back."Are we still a secret?"I studied her expression, her tone, because I'd never heard that chill before. Keeping our relationship from friends and family had be
MattThe woman was killing me. Killing. Me. Dead.If it wasn't the strike-me-now bartender/musician side of her personality taking up all available retail space in my head, her sweater-wearing, endearing, generous side managed to complete the task. One minute she was my best friend, making me laugh until I required a respirator, the next she was taking me inside her body with reckless abandon and...making me require a respirator. For all intents and purposes, we were a normal couple. We shared meals, snuggled after mind-blowing sex, talked all the time. But none of this felt normal to me. I don't know if that was because it was Jenny or if the blame lay on the fact I hadn't truly had anything close to a real relationship before. There had been lovers, girlfriends, potentials, yet nothing in this kind of realm. Not like the balance Jenny and I had.And something was bothering her. She sat across my kitchen table from me, picking at her food. Despite her incredibly petite size, she
JennyI had a toothbrush and shampoo at his house. And not in the guestroom. No, in Matt's bathroom. I also had, on his insistence, a couple changes of clothes and panties in an extra drawer. With the bar closed Sundays and Mondays, we'd agreed I'd sleep over on those nights and keep the Wednesday dinners since I went in late that day. Matt liked the routine of it. I liked being with him any chance I could.Filling a Miller tap order on Tuesday evening, I winced at the woman on stage doing karaoke. These Boots Were Made for Walking would never sound the same again. Alas, I cheered when she finished.Rock came up behind me. "I can't believe you're getting laid and I'm not."Laughing, I passed the frosted mug to the customer and collected change. "Maybe if you weren't so picky." With the orders caught up, I turned to face him. "What do you really think?" I kept my voice low enough to avoid stray ears. We'd briefly talked before opening, but he had been pretty mum on the subject. Mat